


Change is Good

by silenciumspiritum



Category: Silent Witness (TV)
Genre: Crime Scenes, Detectives, Forensics, Multi, Pathologists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 120,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28556526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silenciumspiritum/pseuds/silenciumspiritum
Summary: New faces. A new team. Will the Lyell Centre make or break? And will Jack and Nikki's past finally catch up with them? Or will it be too late?
Relationships: Jack Hodgson & Sam Ryan, Michael Connor/Sam Ryan, Nikki Alexander & Jack Hodgson, Nikki Alexander & Sam Ryan, Nikki Alexander/Jack Hodgson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15





	1. Fragile is the Heart - Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year! I hope you all had a wonderful festive season. I am very excited to share this story with you, I've been working on it for a few months now but I just wanted to say a few things before you get started.
> 
> I have done this completely on my own so I know for a fact that some things aren't going to be accurate so much of this story is going to be more character based rather than the whole pathology/forensic side. I have included them to the best of my ability - stealing a few ideas (science wise) from the show here and there just to help me along the way (Sorry!) This has been set out like a series would be so I'm going to be uploading two chapters a week at around 9pm (GMT) every Monday and Tuesday. I started writing this story a little while before Adam Yuen was announced as the new character and I did debate on going back and changing it for a while but, I decided to stick with my idea.
> 
> I wanted to do this story because I am so going to miss having those familiar faces on our screens this January and I wanted to, in some sort of way, emulate that feeling (obviously it will be nowhere near as good as the actual show!).
> 
> I would like to dedicate this story to anyone who has ever left a review, you keep me going when I don't feel like writing much. You really do brighten up my day. There are a few other people who I would like to thank for being there for me and for making me smile when I have needed it the most...you know who you are :) You keep me inspired. So without further ado, here goes. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Fragile is the Heart - Part One
> 
> Summary: Sam Ryan is back and a new arrival is headed for the Lyell as a case of a missing girl comes along their way. How are Jack and Nikki going to take this new change in dynamic?

Four months. Four months since Thomas had died saving lives. Four months since Clarissa decided to take another path in life. Four months since Nikki's and Jack's lives had been turned upside down, when the four of them had quickly dwindled down to just the two of them.

It wasn't to be for very long however as after the Lyell had to be deep cleaned and they had their few weeks of freedom, they had soon arrived back to see someone else's name on Thomas' office door. A name that Nikki had heard in passing over the past couple of years but never had the chance to meet. _Professor Sam Ryan._ They had offered Nikki the job just as they had before. But she once again declined, one day she would accept it but it had to be under the right circumstances and not because her predecessor had died unexpectedly right in front of her.

Sam had been just as has she had expected from the way that Leo and Harry had described her all those years ago. She wasn't too dissimilar from Nikki in the way that they chose to work and she had quickly realised why Leo and Harry had often compared her to her over the years. Jack had been frosty towards her in the beginning, he had never been that good with new people. Especially given the reason Sam had been employed again, he had been the same with Thomas when he first arrived. But it didn't take long for the two of them to bond and before long they were getting on like a house on fire.

Nikki had arrived to work first that day, as usual. She had always been a stickler for being early, wanting to get herself in the right headspace straight away. Sam soon joined not long after her, carrying two coffee's in her hand, one for herself and the other for Nikki. She never bothered getting one for Jack, he was more often than not late for work, wanting to get himself a round in at the gym beforehand. He wasn't unlike Nikki; wanting to get himself ready for the day ahead, he just had a completely different approach to her.

"Can you tell Jack when he gets here that I want to see the two of you in my office please," Sam breathed, setting the paper cup down on Nikki's desk.

Nikki looked up at Sam, her brows furrowing, "Sounds ominous, what's it about?"

"Nothing to worry about," she replied. "Just something that I think the Lyell could really benefit from and I want to know what the two of you think of the idea."

"Okay," Nikki dragged out, not entirely convinced. "Well we'll be straight in as soon as he gets here." She took a sip of her drink before turning back to her computer and watching as Sam disappeared into her office.

Sam had probably done more for the Lyell in the past couple of months than had been done in a very long time. She was always coming up with new and fresh ideas to really push them out there. To really get a name for themselves again. Thomas was losing his spark towards the end and the Lyell had started to get a bad name; thanks to certain people who were determined to bring them down. But Sam had somehow turned that all around and worked it towards their own advantage and now they were getting more cases than they had had in years.

It had felt as though they had been getting a new case everyday which had certainly kept them on their toes. But had also meant that they were going to have start thinking about employing more people to work alongside the three of them. They could only do so much and were now starting to get desperate for an extra pair of hands around the place. _Maybe that was what Sam had wanted to talk to them about_ , Nikki had thought to herself.

Making her jump was Jack bustling through the doors, his face bright red and the sweat dripping down his face. He clearly didn't leave himself enough time to cool down and have a shower before coming to work. She chuckled at him, glancing over at him as he settled down in his chair.

"Good morning," she let out as he sighed and leaned back, placing his hands behind his head. "Everything alright?"

"Perfect," he moved again, now resting his elbows on the desk.

"Well I hate to make your morning worse but Sam has asked to see the both of us in her office," she spoke, standing up and making her way out of the room.

"What about?" Jack questioned, his eyes following her.

Nikki shrugged her shoulders, turning back to him, "Your guess is as good as mine."

Jack groaned, standing up himself and trailing closely behind Nikki as they walked into what was now Sam's office. It hadn't changed that much from when Thomas had occupied it, save for a few things being in different places and new paintings on the wall. Although if Nikki really thought about it, it still had a sense of Leo about it. Like he was still hanging around, still watching over her.

"Right, now that the both of you are here, I can tell you the reason I've brought you in here," Sam started, looking up at the pair as she sat behind her desk. "As you both know we have been very busy over the past couple of weeks, every police department wanting to send cases our way. As a result, we need an extra pair of hands around the place, to assist closely in these cases. I have been wondering how I was going to do that until I received an email the other week. From the University."

Sam paused for a moment, allowing Jack and Nikki to get their heads around what she was trying to say to them, "They have asked if we will take on one of their students for the next year or so. As a sort of work placement to aid their course. It will throw them right in the deep end and get them used to what it is they'll eventually be working with once they graduate," her eyes flicked between the two, trying to gauge a reaction. "I think something like this will be really good for the Lyell. I know we've had graduates helping out in the past with the odd thing here and there but we've never had someone come in full time and get to come out with us and work on the cases closely."

Nikki nodded, taking it all in. She was quite open to the idea but her mind was quick to remind her of what had happened a couple of years ago, when her whole career had nearly been shattered because of a student that she had been mentoring. If Sam were to go down this route then she would have to do a thorough background check. She didn't think the Lyell would survive another blow like that somehow.

Jack on the other hand, wasn't too sure. It sounded like a good idea but with students, comes an increased chance of making mistakes. And there's not exactly much room for mistakes in their line of work. Mistakes could cost lives. And ultimately ruin the reputation of the Lyell that they had spent the last couple of months building back up again. But then, given what Sam had done in those months maybe she was on to something by bringing this new project in.

"This student has been recommended to us by the University, his lecturers praising him greatly," Sam continued, with neither Nikki nor Jack outwardly projecting against the idea, she assumed that they were on board. "Apparently he is the best in his class and he will surely be an asset wherever he goes. His name is Evan Myles, he is studying Forensic Science. So, Jack, I would hope that if you are okay with all of this then you will be his main mentor. Guiding him through the dos and don'ts, getting him used to physical crime scenes. Of course, Nikki, I would expect you also to help out with this. But what do you think?"

Jack and Nikki shared a look between each other, neither against or particularly for the idea. But given the way that Sam had been talking about it, it sounded as if they didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Turning their heads to face Sam again, Jack spoke first, given that the task was mainly intended for him.

"I think it could be a good thing," he sighed. "But are we prepared for the problems that it may bring to have a student at crime scenes? I remember my first crime scene I was a mess and I had actually completed my degree at that point let alone continuing my studies at the same time."

"That's partly why I want to do it," Sam interrupted. "Get him used to it all now, that way there's less pressure on him for when he is able to go out there on his own. And who knows, if this is successful then maybe we can bring in more in the future."

Jack shrugged, not too sure of what to say. "I just have one favour to ask," Nikki piped up. "Please can you make sure to do a background check on this Evan, I'm not having a repeat of what happened last time. Apart from that," she looked at Jack briefly before turning back to Sam. "I think it's a wonderful idea and we could certainly do with a change around here."

She felt her stomach drop as the words fell from her mouth. _Change._ It's what Leo had wanted for the place all those years ago when Jack and Clarissa had walked through the door like two whirlwinds taking them by surprise. She had been reminded of Leo a lot recently, especially with what had happened with Thomas and the changes that had been going on. It had felt like a lifetime ago that Leo had died and Thomas had swooped in to take over from him. Now they were both gone. It was strange. But life had a funny habit of doing that.

"When does he start?" Nikki questioned, having a feeling that Sam had already said yes in the hope that they would go along with it anyway. Even if they hadn't, it wouldn't have taken much to persuade them. As Sam had kept reminding them, this was going to be good for the Lyell.

Sam let out a breath as she glanced down at the watch on her wrist, "Oh, in about ten minutes."

Nikki and Jack glanced at each other, they were not expecting that. Thinking that she would've given them at least a day to get their head around all of it and allowing enough time to get themselves prepared. But then, of course, in this line of work there's not much you can really prepare for.

"Well I best get the welcome banner ready," Jack grinned, standing up from his chair and walking back to his desk.

Nikki gave Sam a small smile of reassurance, she knew Jack on the surface was sharp and abrasive but deep down he was up for the idea and would probably find himself enjoying it. After all, he would get to be the boss for a change. Sam had to quickly learn that about him in the first month. Nikki had taken it upon herself to let her know that he wasn't being serious and just to ignore him as she usually did.

Lifting herself from her own chair, she followed behind after Jack, sitting at her desk opposite him. She shook her head at him for a moment before being distracted by a message coming through on her phone. Picking her phone up from the table, she felt herself sighing as she took in the words.

It was Matt, telling her that he was going to be late getting back tonight. He had supposedly missed his flight again. This was the second time in the past twenty-four hours. There was a slither of doubt filling her thoughts. Missing a flight the first time is easily done but a second time, there was obviously something holding him back. That something she was scared to give a name to but it stayed there, feeding into her fears.

"Everything alright?" Jack asked, noticing her now sullen mood.

Nikki leaned back in her chair, dropping her phone down on the glass. She could feel Jack watching her closely, she wasn't one for emotional outbursts like him. She usually tried to keep herself contained most of the time unless of course someone pressed the wrong buttons.

"It's Matt," she answered him, running her hands over her face. If she was someone who smoked then this would've been a good time to get some air. But she wasn't, thankfully. She folded her arms, her eyes connecting with Jacks. "I think there might be someone else."

Jack puffed out his cheeks, surprised by that, "How come? I thought the two of you were sweet." At least, that's what the impression he had got from the past couple of months. But then again, if he really thought about it, she hadn't been mentioning him nearly as much as she used to. And she did seem to be throwing herself back into work. He'd put it down to them being more busy but now that he was getting wind of her feelings, everything was starting to click into place.

"I don't know, he's just," she paused. "Different. Distant."

"Have you talked to him about this?" he pondered.

Nikki tilted her head at him, "What do you think?" She spoke with a sarcastic tone.

Jack rolled his eyes, "Talk to him about it, you might be worrying over nothing."

She just sighed in response, not quite finding the right words. He had a point, she did have a tendency to make up her mind about something without confronting her thoughts first. It was something she would've thought she'd have learnt not to do by now. She was glad she had Jack though, he was the only one who could knock some sense into her when she needed it the most.

Interrupting their conversation was the sound of knocking on the glass, Nikki glanced over at Jack, it was time. Nikki stood up first, Sam didn't seem to have heard the knock. Or she was choosing to let Jack and Nikki do the introductions considering they would be the ones guiding the poor student throughout the next year or so.

Nikki headed towards the entrance, Jack hot on her tail as she pressed the switch next to the door, the buzzer echoing throughout the hall. She pulled the door open to be met face to face by a young boy, dark brown hair and round glasses. He looked innocent, pure, a face that hadn't been touched by death and despair. Something that would take seconds to settle in, especially in this line of work. Some people cope with it, some people don't. Only time would tell for this boy. But she supposed that if he had made it this far in this course then maybe he would be fine.

Jack, however, had judged by his whole appearance that he wouldn't last very long in this place, but he had been proved wrong in the past so who knows. He could be surprised. Extending his arm out, he took hold of Evan's hand, shaking it firmly.

"You must be Evan Myles," he said with a firm but not intimidating tone. "I'm Jack Hodgson, and this is…" He turned to Nikki, dropping his hand.

"…Dr Nikki Alexander," she interrupted, her own hand now shaking with Evans. "It's a pleasure to meet you, we've heard all about you. Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee?" She asked as she lead her way through to the kitchen.

Evan's eyes darted all around the room, taking every little detail in. The two desks on his left, one of which had papers and pens all over the place whilst the other barely looked used. He had guessed that the neat one belonged to the woman, Nikki, the messier to the man, Jack.

On his right looked like some labs, not too dissimilar from the ones he had been used to at University. But given that the Lyell Centre was a part of the campus then it was no surprise. There was a third desk but that was clearly unoccupied. He quickly made his way into what he guessed was the kitchen area given the kettle and the various mugs on the counter.

He could feel himself getting quite nervous, he had preparing for this for the whole week. Ever since his lecturer had got into contact with him and told him that he would get the chance to work in an actual lab, alongside actual police detectives as they worked their way through various cases. He clenched his fists, trying to stop his hands from being so obviously sweaty.

"Was it a coffee or a tea?" Nikki asked again as the kettle clicked, the steam permeating throughout the room.

"Tea please," Evan replied, a small smile on his face. "Milk and just a little bit of sugar."

Nikki reflected a smile back at him before carrying on making the young boy a cup of tea along with drinks for everyone else. No doubt they had all wanted one as well, they usually did when they could hear the kettle going. Nikki had quickly given up on trying to make herself a sneaky cup of tea, Jack would more often than not be at her side the moment he heard her pushing the button down.

Jack had left them for a moment, making his way to Sam's office to let her know of the new arrival and soon the two of them were joining them again. Nikki handed the mug to Evan who took it from her, a thank you falling from his lips.

"You're early," Sam breathed. "I'm impressed. Professor Sam Ryan." She reached her arm out, shaking his hand. Chuckling to herself as he struggled to manoeuvre the mug around before he settled on just putting it back down on the counter. Sam turned to face Jack. "Jack how about you give Evan the guided tour around the Lyell? Give you two the chance to get to know each other and break the ice since you'll be working closely together for the next year or so."

Jack raised his eyebrows, giving Nikki a look which caused her to roll her eyes at him. "Right, let's not hang about, who knows when that phone is going to ring with the next case being thrown our way."

Jack moved and headed down the hallway in the direction of the morgue, not giving Evan a chance to even realise what was going on. But it didn't take him long to catch Jack up and he was now following closely behind.

"This is the locker room and behind that curtain is the mortuary," Jack began. "I can't take you in there just in case of cross contamination but no doubt you'll be in there soon enough. Working a case, obviously," Jack's lip twitched at Evan's nervous reaction.

Evan took everything in, not that there was much. It was simple. The bench in the middle of the room, lockers and sinks surrounding it. He was mostly intrigued by the mortuary behind the thick sheeting. He couldn't see much but as Jack had said, he would see it soon enough. He'd seen many pictures of a morgue but was yet to actually set foot in one. He couldn't help but feel wrong for feeling quite excited at the prospect.

"If we go through here, it leads through to the observation or meeting room," Jack continued as he opened the door, letting Evan enter the room first, "As you can probably guess we use this room for meetings when we're working alongside the police during cases and sometimes it's just a good place to come to if you need a quiet minute to yourself."

Evan ran his finger along the back of the chair, it was all starting to feel quite real now and he had barely even started. He glanced over his shoulder, the big windows looking down into the mortuary. He could feel his breath being taken away slightly as his eyes darted around everywhere, digesting it all. He couldn't wait to get in there and see a real post mortem being performed before his very eyes. He had seen countless videos of them but of course only the parts that were relevant to his course. He couldn't help but feel so lucky that he was currently in the position that he was in.

"How many post mortems have you observed?" He asked Jack, finding his voice. He couldn't bring himself to look away however as he placed his hands on the railing.

"Oh gosh," Jack breathed, folding his arms as he leaned back on the wall. "I've lost count. I'll never forget my first though, I can remember it as if it was yesterday. Made me realise how important our jobs really are. How the body can reveal clues just as much as the crime scene can. How forensics and pathology can't exist without the other, not in our job anyway. You'll get to see your first soon enough and no doubt you'll get to see Dr. Alexander in work and she's quite," he paused for a moment, trying to come up with a word that would best describe Nikki. "Spectacular."

"What made you want to do this job?" He questioned, suddenly feeling quite curious and now slightly more comfortable in his surroundings.

"I'm not sure," Jack shrugged, moving to rest his elbows on the railings as he looked over at Evan. "Forensics has always been something that's interested me and I was always good at science. Plus, in this line of work you get to see a direct difference that you make to people's lives. You get to find justice for them and their loved ones and that feeling you get, when you've helped someone find peace. It's like no other. You'll realise it soon enough."

Evan nodded, "I can't wait."

Jack reached over, patting his hand on Evan's shoulder, "I just hope you're prepared for the other side of this often grim business. It's not pretty and it can be upsetting and I just want you to know that we, Nikki and I, are going to be with you the whole time," a small smile spread across Jack's face. "Anytime you feel overwhelmed, or that you need to have a break. Just let either of us know. We've both been in the position that you are in now so we know what it's like."

"Thank you," Evans lips twitched.

They were soon walking back out of the room and down the hallway. "This then leads us back to the offices and on the other side is our lab. That's where yourself and I will be spending most of our time. Usually being bossed around by the other two," he joked but Evan still seemed unsure. "Any other questions?"

Evan shook his head, "Not at the moment," he let out eventually.

"Well if any more come to mind, don't hesitate to ask myself or Nikki or Sam," he spoke.

"That's right," Nikki walked over to the two of them. "We're here to answer any of your queries so don't be scared. We are going to be your mentors after all, the ones who are going to be with you every step of the way."

"Thank you," Evan's eyes flicked between the two people in front of him. "Again."

"Come on then, what made you want to become a forensic scientist?" Jack asked, throwing the question back at him as he sat down at his desk once again. Evan quick to realise that the tidy desk had actually belonged to him rather than the other way round.

"Well like you," he started. "It's always intrigued me. Of course, you see it all in the movies and it's so fascinating. But as you said earlier, it's people like us who make a difference. Who help people. And that's important. I wanted to be that person who made a difference."

Nikki looked over at Jack, winking at him before turning back to Evan, "Well with that attitude, I think you'll get along just fine."

"It seems you've arrived in perfect time, Nikki, Jack," Sam called out, entering the offices. "We've got a call. Young girl found in the woods, part of a big missing persons case. I've written down the address." She handed a piece of paper to Jack before disappearing once again.

"Let's get going," Jack announced, standing up and grabbing the coat from the back of his chair. Nikki was also quick to move and grab her stuff. Picking her case up along the way.

"You ready?" She turned to Evan who was watching the two of them dash around. He quickly nodded, the eagerness evident on his face. "Just observe Jack and I for now, okay? I'm sure you know the protocols of a crime scene so I shouldn't have to remind you not to touch anything unless you are told to. If you have any questions, we will answer them as best we can but please be patient with us. This is going to be a real crime scene after all so it will need our full attention."

Nikki wasn't usually one for pep talks, Sam had often taken that upon herself. But she felt the need to remind Evan of just exactly what he was getting himself in for. She had been young and excited before so she knew what was running through his head and she had quickly gathered that he was someone who just wanted to get stuck in. But he needed to take a step back, at least for the first couple of days. Just to get used to how things were run around this place.

Jack drove the three of them to the crime scene, Nikki in her place at the front and Evan quickly settling in at the back. He was running his hands slowly up and down his legs as he watched the world go by in the window.

His first real crime scene. He was excited as much as he was nervous. Although there was that nauseous feeling beginning in the pit of his stomach. Sam hadn't exactly specified who the victim was going to be but the words young girl and missing persons case painted quite a clear picture. That eagerness vastly disappearing from Evan. Maybe this wasn't to be what he had quite anticipated.

He had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even realised that they had come to a stop and Jack was now looking over his shoulder at Evan, asking if him if he was ready, once again.

Evan's lips twitched, giving Jack and Nikki a small nod. Better to just get it done and out of the way. That way at least he would have gone through the worst and would be prepared for anything that this job would throw his way. He watched as the two people in front of him shared a look and not a particularly hopeful one. They were both thinking the same thing as him.

This was going to be a tough, hard-hitting case and would more than likely scare anyone away that hadn't been used to this sort of thing. But he was determined now, more than ever, to prove them wrong. He may be young and relatively new to all of this but that didn't mean he wasn't made of hard stuff. He could deal with this, he _would_ deal with this.

Jack and Nikki got out of the car first, Evan following quickly behind them. They all walked around to the boot, pulling out their respective suits. A white one for Nikki and two dark blue ones, one for Jack and the other for Evan.

Once they were all suited up, Jack and Nikki picked up their silver cases and directed the way to the crime scene, flashing their IDs to the police officer before passing under the tape. Jack quickly checked behind him to make sure that Evan was still with them. He was starting to worry about him and they had barely even begun. The first case he had ever worked on had been a child so he knew how damaging this was going to be to him.

He could remember it as if it was yesterday and it still haunted him. It never got better, or easier as the detective had told him back then. But at least Evan now had someone, or rather two people, who were going to be very supportive of him and backing him the whole way. He wished he had that. Maybe he would've turned out to be a different person if someone had been there to remind him that it's okay to feel scared. To feel anxious.

Distracting him from his thoughts was a blonde woman walking over to the three of them, "You must be forensics, I'm DI Zoe Fall," she started, her eyes washing over Nikki, Jack and Evan respectively. "The body is just this way."

She turned away from them and guided them to just exactly where they needed to be, "The victim is Lily Brown, aged ten years old," she let out a breath. "She was reported missing on Tuesday evening and our search for her has led us here. Her disappearance has already caused a massive media stir so if you could wrap up the crime scene as quickly as possible so we can keep the newspapers away from this, I would be very grateful."

"We'll try our best," Nikki spoke softly, already feeling the lump in her throat forming. She had always hated child murders but someone had to fight their corner. Someone had to find them justice. And that was the only thing that kept Nikki going in these cases.

She glanced over at Evan double checking that he was still okay, if she still found it tough even after all these years then she couldn't imagine what was running through his head right now. But she couldn't focus on him too much, she was there to do a job after all and she was meant to be setting a good example. Do your job and don't let anything distract you.

Her eyes surveyed over the body, taking in every little detail. She felt sick at the sight of the girls matted hair, the dark dried blood sticking all the strands together. There was dirt all over her body. The killer had clearly tried to cover her up. Nikki closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she steadied herself.

"You alright?" She heard a whisper coming from her left side. Slowly blinking her eyes open again, they quickly connected with Jack's. A simple nod would suffice for now as she kneeled down to the floor and opened up her case.

She peeled the white gloves on and began her initial examination of the body. Her hands travelled to the girls head, not taking long to conclude that the cause of death had more than likely been blunt force trauma. Although as Nikki looked closer at the body she noticed there were red marks forming around her neck, she had been strangled as well. The panic was rising up in her throat already knowing what she would find when she were to conduct the post mortem later that morning. This girl had been tortured in the run up to her death. This was certainly going to be a hard one.

As she finished taking the temperature, she was able to place time of death to be around twelve to fourteen hours ago, relaying this information to the detective and going on to explain, "Both lividity and rigor mortis has set in so this would support my other findings. This also matches with the timeframe of when she was reported missing. I will be able to give more accurate findings at the post mortem."

Jack was on the other side of the body, using his tweezers to pick up blowfly larvae as Evan held various tubes out for him. But it wasn't long before he was standing back up again and starting to inspect the scene as a whole while Nikki focused on the body. His eyes scanned every inch that had been mapped out, trying to find even the smallest of clues, anything that jumped out to him but there was nothing so far.

Evan was stood next to him and although he was only there in an observational capacity he knew that he was doing the same. He had spent the past couple of years preparing for this moment after all, he should at least get a moment to showcase his skills.

As the two of them walked around the area they had come to spot some tracks, most likely from a car. No other car would've come out this far so it was unlikely to be the fault of the police or themselves. Bending down, Jack took a closer look, spotting some small stones imbedded in the tracks. They were in the middle of the woods and he had failed to spot any of these little stones anywhere else so chances were, they belonged to the person who had killed the little girl.

He gestured to Evan, who was still close to him, to pass him the camera. If this was linked to the murder then it was absolutely necessary that they document it. Plus it may help to identify what car it was that brought her here.

"Evan if you could take a sample from the soil," he looked up at the boy. "I doubt we'll get anything since the body has been here so long but it's better to be safe than sorry."

Evan nodded, doing as he was told. Pulling out another tube, he carefully scooped up a small sample of the soil, including some of the stones that had caught Jack's attention. He couldn't quite describe the feeling that was in his stomach right now. He had wanted to feel excited but now it was all starting to feel very real and he wasn't enjoying himself as much as he thought he would be.

"Do you want to take a minute?" Jack asked.

Evan shook his head, he had get used to that feeling sooner or later. And if he was actually going to do this for the rest of his life then it was definitely going to have to be sooner. Besides, they had been told to wrap this all up pretty quickly and he didn't exactly want to be the one to hold them back. At least, not right now.

"I'm okay," he replied. "It's all just a little bit overwhelming right now. But I'll be fine."

"As long as your sure," Jack continued. "My first case was a child as well, so if there is anyone who is going to understand how you're feeling right now it's going to be me. So please, if there's anything you need then let me know."

He felt as though he was repeating himself but he just wanted to let Evan know that he was far from being alone in all of this. He just wanted to be that person he never had. But he had to trust that if the boy had said he was okay then he was okay. No point in pushing it, he had let him know that he was going to be there with him every step of the way so when he was ready he could talk to either himself or Nikki.

He was distracted by Nikki letting the team know that she was done with the body and she was ready for it to be moved. There wasn't much else for him to look at now, whoever had left the body here had been forensically aware. They had left barely any trace apart from the tracks in the mud but even then they couldn't be sure that they belonged to the killer. Their best bet was what Sam and Nikki would hopefully find on the body.

All three of them packed their stuff up once again and headed back to the Lyell. When they got back Jack and Evan didn't hesitate to test their soil samples and the blowfly larvae in the hope that they would find something quickly and that way they would be able to get this case over sooner.

Evan watched as Jack got to work, doing all the little things he had been taught over the years. He had just wanted to get stuck into it all himself but at the same time it was quite satisfying seeing a professional do it. Someone who was completely lost in the zone and carefully examining every inch. It was almost like watching an artist create a masterpiece, it was so delicate and intricate. No stone going unturned. _This_ is what he came here to do. That nauseous feeling he had earlier had quickly been forgotten about.

"What time is the post mortem?" Evan queried, noting that some time had passed since they had got back.

Jack glanced up from his sample, his eyes washing over Evan, "Are you sure you want to observe that one? There's going to be plenty of others…"

"…I want to do this Jack," Evan interrupted.

"Only if you're sure," Jack continued.

"I'm absolutely sure," Evan gave a small, reassuring smile.

Jack lifted his arm and looked down at his watch, it had been about an hour since they had come back and no doubt Nikki and Sam were getting themselves ready for the post mortem as they spoke. He wasn't completely convinced by Evan's façade but he supposed if he wanted to watch the post mortem then there wasn't much he could do to stop him.

He finished up working on his sample before he started to put his equipment away and the two of them headed in the direction of the observation room. It seemed that they had arrived at the right time as both Nikki and Sam were emerging from the locker room into the morgue. The body prepared for them.

Nikki's eyes connected with Jack who gave her a small nod. She was quite surprised to see the young boy standing next to him. And quite frankly she was disappointed in Jack for not convincing him to stay away. She knew that in this job you are going to face difficulties at every given opportunity but they should at least do their best to slowly introduce him to it. Not allowing the first post mortem he observes to be that of a child. But then she couldn't totally put the blame on Jack, she knew that he had been doing everything he could to make sure that Evan knew exactly what he was getting himself in for. So if the two of them were stood there then there was absolutely nothing Jack could've done to keep him away.

Shaking her thoughts away she turned her attention back to the small girl that now lay on the slab. She took a deep breath and entered the part in her brain that allowed her to get through these horrific and harrowing moments. Shutting her brain off in the way that she does allows her to justify what exactly it is that she does. Something she often struggles to come to terms with.

She looked over at Sam who was watching her closely. Neither of them feeling quite ready but they both supposed that someone had to do it. She edged closer to the body, starting her external examination.

"The victim is a ten year old female confirmed to be that of Lily Brown," she began. "There are significant injuries to the top of the skull most likely to be the cause of death. There also seems to be some bruising on the neck and what appears to be rope marks and various cuts and bruises on the arms. Most likely defence wounds."

Sam moved, picking up the small torch as she lifted the eyelids with her fingers, "Petechial haemorrhaging," she interrupted. "Cause of death may also be asphyxiation."

"Well I don't suppose we'll find out until we open her up," Nikki sighed.

Evan watched the two of them as they got to work, he was completely in awe despite the circumstances. It made him quickly realise what Jack had meant when he said to him this morning that forensics and pathology coincide with one another. One can not necessarily exist without the other. The way in which Sam and Nikki guided themselves around the body made him think of how Jack carried out his own experiments.

Every little detail was important in telling this girls story; what happened to her in the lead up to her death. The body was like their crime scene, giving them hints and clues. But where the body couldn't reveal some things forensics would reveal the other. Making them both as important as one another.

He felt as though he was lost in his own little world as he observed the two of them work away. He was sort of switching his brain off from the fact that the person that was lying on the slab was a young girl that should absolutely not be lying there in the first place. By forgetting who exactly it was, was helping to keep the anxiety down.

He hadn't even noticed that Jack had left him to it, left him in the room on his own. He gripped his hand on the metal even harder as he watched Nikki making cuts along the girls neck, lifting her skin up to reveal the muscles. He winced at that, the nausea creeping back up again. But he did well to swallow that down.

He stayed there until Sam and Nikki started to wrap things up and then he thought he had better go off and find Jack. But as he walked back through to the offices, Jack was nowhere to be seen. He was met, however, by DI Fall and who he assumed was the DS. He quickly came to the conclusion that Jack had gone to get Nikki ready for the briefing.

Jack waited just outside the locker room. Sam was the first to emerge who he informed that the police were there ready for the briefing. Sam nodded, thanking him before disappearing again. Jack checked the watch on his wrist, Nikki was taking her time. Knowing what she was like, he slipped behind the door and slowly walked inside.

"Nikki," he called out, just in case she genuinely hadn't finished getting changed. Thankfully she was ready but he just found her sat on the bench, her head flicking up to meet his. "You okay?" He asked as he sat down next to her.

She just shrugged, feeling her eyes welling up, "You know how it is," she breathed.

Jack was quick to wrap his arm around her, pulling her close into him as she rested her head on his shoulder. She was able to keep most of the tears at bay but a few escaped down her cheeks. She had kept herself grounded during the post mortem but as she came out it had soon sunk in and she couldn't keep the emotions down. Jack was helping, however. His hand smoothing up and down her arm calming her. He always had a way of doing that.

Wiping away at her damp cheeks, "How's Evan? I was surprised to see him there just now."

"I think he's doing alright, you know," Jack replied. "May have underestimated him in that department I won't lie. I keep double checking with him, making sure that he knows he's allowed to have five minutes but he keeps telling me that he's fine."

"Tougher than we thought," she added on. "Probably coping better than me."

"Hey now don't beat yourself up," Jack whispered softly. "We're going to find who did this and trust me they are going to suffer for what they've done. But first, we have to get this briefing over and done with."

Nikki let out a breath, smoothing her hands down her legs before standing up. She waited for a moment until Jack stood with her and the two of them made their way to the observation room. They were met by DI Fall and another man who was heading for them, holding their hand out.

"DS William Hart, you must be Dr Alexander," he spoke, shaking Nikki's hand firmly.

"Shall we get this over with," Nikki smiled, out of politeness. She wasn't feeling all that happy under the circumstances. She walked over to the board, the pictures from the post mortem already uploaded. "We were able to conclude that unlike my initial examination at the scene where I thought that blunt force trauma was the cause of death, we actually found that asphyxiation was the real cause of death." The lump in her throat was forming quickly and she was struggling to keep it together.

Her eyes landed on Jack who was trying his best to reassure her from across the room. She cleared her throat, focusing on the task in hand. "However, there were very obvious signs of torture in the time between her being taken and the time that she had died. We also came to the conclusion that the blow to her head occurred shortly after death. There's a possibility she may have fallen after the incident. Mercifully there were no signs of sexual abuse."

Finished, not needing to go into any more detail; Nikki moved, pulling a chair out and sitting next to Jack. Her hand brushing against his as her arm rested on the desk. She tried to ignore the flutter in her heart as he moved his small finger to wrap around hers, squeezing it gently. A gesture that had gone unnoticed by everyone else in the room. Although, she doubted that it was all that obvious anyway.

"Well, we do have a suspect in mind," DI Fall started. "Mark Woods, he has been suspected to be involved in a number of kidnappings around the area. But until now we haven't been able to actually place him at any of the scenes. Is there any chance that we would be able to do that?"

"I found some tyre tracks at the scene," Jack piped up, his hand moving away from Nikki's as the eyes in the room were now looking in his direction. "The results won't necessarily be conclusive but we may be able to narrow down the model of the car. It would also help if we were to see where he lived. Embedded in the tracks were small stones. Could be a coincidence but considering that I couldn't find any stones similar to those found, it's likely that we would be able to place them at the scene."

"Is there any way we could place him at the scene now?" DS Hart asked.

Nikki opened her mouth to answer but she was quickly interrupted by the ringing coming from her back pocket. She reached around to grab it, sighing to herself as she read the caller ID. She had a feeling she knew what he was going to say. Excusing herself she answered the phone as she left the room.

"Matt, hi," she spoke, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. She couldn't give him any indication as to what she was feeling about their current relationship and she could really do without all the arguing, especially with this case going on.

_"Nikki," Matt began. "I've just landed, are you busy?"_

"Well yes I am actually," she replied. "We've had a massive case come in and they really need my help. Listen, I'll see you after work we can talk then." She did her best to keep the conversation short, she wasn't particularly in the mood to talk to him right now and she couldn't be away from the others for too long. "I didn't think you were back until tonight?" She asked, suddenly remembering what he had messaged her this morning. There was something going on and she didn't like the sound of it.

_"Yeah, we need to talk. I'll see you later." He hung up._

His voice caught her off guard, the sinking feeling forming in the pit of her stomach. She found herself leaning back on to the wall trying her hardest to stop the tears that were welling up in her eyes. It had been on her mind but it scared her to death to think that her thoughts may actually become a reality. She wiped at her face, taking deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth, calming herself down before she had to go back in there. She couldn't do with looking unprofessional.

She smoothed her hands down her clothes and shook her head. Almost as if she was shaking all the negativity away. She wandered back into the room apologising before she sat back down next to Jack. The DI was in the middle of trying to convince Jack to come with them to search this Mark Woods' house in the hope of finding something that would place them at the scene.

"I'm happy to come with you but I doubt we're going to find anything," Jack said firmly. It was way too convenient for it to be this man. And there was nothing on the body. But then he supposed if there was nothing on the body then there was no way they could rule this man out. It wasn't going to do them harm if they just had a look.

"Well there is no time like the present," DI Fall stood up, collecting her notes. "If you could join us Jack, please."

Jack nodded his head slowly as he pursed his lips. But he pushed himself up from the chair regardless and gestured with his head to Evan for him to join him. Evan picked up on that and was joining Jack straight away as they made their way out of the room together.

Jack picked up his case from his desk and shrugged his coat on. Evan too was putting his coat on and they were back in the car, following behind the police car as they headed in the direction of Mark Woods' house.

It wasn't long before they pulling up outside his house and Jack was quick to spot the lack of car and lack of gravel around the house. That little seed of doubt that was already planted in his mind growing. They joined the police by his front door as they knocked.

A man soon opened up the door, he was tall, brown hair and his clothes were all shaggy. Whoever this man was clearly didn't care about his appearance and if he didn't care about his appearance then Jack was struggling to believe that he would be quite so forensically aware at a crime scene. Regardless of that fact, he had to go along with the police for the sake of ruling him out.

Evan listened as the police spoke to the man, asking if he was happy to come in for questioning whilst they had a look around the house. Fortunately for them the man was happy to do so but was adamant that he had nothing to do with it. He reassured them that he had nothing to hide so he would come along and help them to prove that he was innocent.

Both Jack and Evan watched as the man settled in the back of the car and they drove away. Jack sighed, shaking his head. He knew that this was going to be a complete waste of their time but it was something he had to do. Or rather, _they_ had to do.

Walking in through the house the first thing Jack noticed was just how messy the place was. It was disgusting and he couldn't describe the smell that was now settling in his nose. It had almost made him gag. Perhaps he should've worn a mask for this one.

* * *

Back at the Lyell, Nikki had received a phone call from the girls parents requesting for them to see their daughter. She couldn't exactly turn them down, they had probably wanted to confirm that it was actually their daughter. Most parents had the same attitude in this situation, denial. She couldn't blame them. She supposed that if she were in the same position then she would react in the exact same way. That didn't mean it was going to be any easier just because she understood though.

They didn't take long to arrive, her heart dropping as she heard them knocking on the glass. She rested her hands on her desk as she pushed herself back in her chair, allowing herself to stand up. She slowly made her way around the corner, watching as the man comforted the woman. The red rings around her eyes extremely obvious. Her heart ached for them. No parent should have to go through this.

Clicking the button at the side, the door buzzed open.

"Mr and Mrs Brown, I'm Dr Nikki Alexander," she held her arm out, shaking her hand with the man. She guided them to sit down on the sofas so she could brief them before she took them in to see their daughter. "I just wanted to talk to you before we go in there. This can be very distressing so if there is anything that I can do for you in the meantime then please ask. We have already confirmed it to be your daughter through the DNA database."

The woman in front of her began sobbing and Nikki couldn't stop herself from reaching out to take hold of her hand, squeezing it tightly, "I promise you that we are going to find out who did this. I will do everything in my power to get your little girl justice."

"Thank you," Mr Brown spoke for the two of them.

"Are you ready?" Nikki just about got out. The two of them nodded before Nikki stood up and guided them in the direction of the chapel.

She held her breath as she pushed the door open. The girls mother and father following behind her. She picked up a pair of white gloves, slowly pulling them on before she pulled the cloth down, revealing the girls face.

The cry that came from her mother made Nikki's heart break in two and she had to excuse herself from the room, finding herself unable to stay there. She had to keep professional, she had to be the strong one, for them. She was going to be the one fighting for their daughter after all. She waited just outside the door, taking her gloves off, wringing them between her hands. The sound of the latex rubbing together echoing throughout the corridor.

She glanced up at the sound of a door opening and closing. It was Sam and she was heading in her direction picking up on Nikki's change in emotion. She had known that the girls parents were going to come in to see their daughter but she hadn't quite realised that it would be so soon.

"How are they?" She spoke gently, standing opposite from Nikki.

"Heartbroken," Nikki replied, her eyes connecting with Sam's. "It doesn't get any easier, does it? No parent should outlive their child. How could anyone be so cruel? To take someone's child away from them like that."

"Unfortunately the world is a horrible place," Sam shook her head. "Full of horrible people. And unfortunately we can't do much to change that. But at least we get to provide answers. We get to find them some peace. It may not be much but it's something."

Sam edged closer to Nikki, resting her hands on her shoulders briefly before pulling her into a hug. Holding her tightly as the tears slipped down Nikki's face. Sam pulled away, her palm coming to rest on Nikki's cheek, "If you want me to take over for five minutes so you can have a break then I am happy to do so."

Nikki shrugged her shoulders slightly, "I'll be okay."

"If you're sure," Sam reassured her before dropping her hands. "How about we have a cup of tea in my office when they go? You look as though you could get a few things off your chest."

Nikki nodded. Sam had grown to be quite protective of the young woman over the past couple of months. Finding elements of herself within her. And although Nikki would never admit to it, there were times where she allowed herself to be so vulnerable it scared Sam. But it made her that little bit more admirable. And she had felt this maternal need to look out for her and make sure that she was coping with everything.

She had learnt from Jack quite early on that she had lost her mother at a young age and had never been all that close to her father. Jack had also explained to her that Nikki had seen Leo as her only father figure and from her understanding Leo had died in horrific circumstances so that too provided more of an explanation. The woman who was standing in front of her had been through so much and it was only right that she finally had someone looking out for her, someone who could understand and relate to most of the things she had gone through, Sam having lost her mother and father as well.

She left Nikki to it, not wanting to intrude too much. She slowly walked back up the corridor and disappeared behind the door. Nikki swiped her fingers across the corners of her eyes, clearing away the tears that were threatening to fall again.

Nikki hadn't been sure of how long she was stood out there but the parents were soon emerging, somewhat calmer than they had been when they first went in.

"Thank you," Mr Brown spoke, clearing his throat. "There are a few questions we want to ask you."

"Of course," Nikki guided them back down to the sofas, sitting down in the same places they had only moments ago. "What do you want to know?"

"Do you know how it happened?" Mrs Brown asked. She was rubbing her hands together, Nikki guessing that she was trying to keep herself calm.

"Yes," Nikki affirmed. She paused for a moment, mulling over how she was going to sensitively word it to the two people sat in front of her, their eyes glossed over and seconds from breaking down again. "We believe that although she suffered a blow to the head, the cause of death was…" she was biting the inside of her cheek trying to stop the tears spilling over. "I'm really sorry, your daughter was asphyxiated."

"Asphyxi-what? I don't know what that means," the woman shook her head, the emotions becoming too much for her.

"She was strangled," she managed to get out. There wasn't really any other way to put it. She'd much rather be direct than dance around the point. "It would've been quick. I must add that there were signs of torture in the lead up to her death. This may be significant in finding out who did this."

She had started sobbing again, her husband quick to engulf her in his arms. Nikki watched as the man spoke into her ear, his hands running up and down her arms in an attempt to calm her down. Although Nikki doubted that there was much he could do to console her. There was nothing like losing a child. But at least they had each other. And she just hoped that this wouldn't break them apart. She had read all the statistics about child deaths over the years and she knew that the prospect of parents staying together was slim.

Nikki reached out to take hold of the woman's hand again, "Please trust us to do our job and find out who did this."

* * *

Jack and Evan had quickly finished their sweep of the house and it came as no surprise to Jack that they found absolutely nothing that would connect this Mark Woods to the scene of the crime. No matter how much the police had wanted them too.

Both himself and Evan were now on their way to the police station to deliver their findings, or rather, their lack of findings and they were soon pulling up outside the station, making their way through.

This was also the first time, thankfully, that Evan had set foot in a police station. Although it had looked just as he expected. He stood next to Jack as they waited to be let in. Not much had been said between the two of them since the police had left them at the house. They had both been quite busy doing their best to find as much evidence as they could. But that hadn't been possible because it was becoming strikingly obvious that this man hadn't done it. He may have some dodgy history and quite often been at the wrong place at the wrong time but this murder wasn't of his making.

They were lead through the hallway, the police officer opening a random door and telling them to wait whilst they let the DI know that they had arrived. It had turned out to be an observation room and both himself and Jack sat down as they watched Mark Woods on the other side of the glass being interrogated by two of the detectives.

They had soon gone quiet when they had heard the knock at the door. There was a nod from DI Fall and she wrapped up the interview. Walking out of the room, she came around to meet the two of them.

"What have you found?" She asked, her voice sounding hopeful.

Jack had a feeling that they hadn't been getting anywhere during the investigation so had wished for something to pull through on the forensics. Jack was starting to feel bad about letting her down but he couldn't make up evidence. He shook his head slowly, "There was nothing. If Nikki is right with the girl being tortured then we should've found evidence of that in his house."

"But what if he has another house?" She queried, clinging on to anything.

"Given the state of his house then I doubt this is someone who would go to the effort of organising somewhere else to take a victim," Jack breathed. "I wish there was something that I could give you but from my findings, this man didn't do this."

DI Fall looked up at the ceiling, sighing as she folded her arms, "I'm going to have to let him go then," she stormed off, not giving neither Jack nor Evan the chance to respond.

Jack shared a look with Evan, raising his eyebrows at him before leading the way back out again. There was no point hanging around now. Besides, it was about time they got back to the Lyell. He needed to check in on Nikki. He hadn't particularly liked how she was when she had come back into the room after her phone call.

The two of them settled back into the car. Evan turning to Jack, opening his mouth to speak, "Why don't you think it's him? I mean she had a point back there, what if he did have another place he could've taken her to?"

Jack let out a sigh as he changed gear, "It's way too convenient for it to be him. Plus there was no car and I checked if he had any vehicle registered in his name but there was nothing. A car brought the girl to that scene. Now he could've stolen it but there have no reports of stolen cars in the area so it rules that out," he took a moment, gathering his thoughts. "They want it to be him. He hasn't got the best record and it would be easy to put him away. But someone else killed that little girl and they deserve to pay for it."

Evan digested this, it did make sense when he put his mind to it. That was something he was going to have learn in the upcoming months. Judgement. It was all well and good knowing all the science and knowing all the right chemicals to use. But you needed to have a good judgement of people as well. And when to trust your gut feeling. He had learnt in just one day that Jack had a strong gut feeling and he always trusted it. Hence why they didn't find anything at the scene and why Jack had been so adamant about that.

He didn't say much else on the topic, quite satisfied with Jack's answer. So he remained silent in the passenger seat, watching the world go by as they made their way back to the Lyell. It wasn't long before they were pulling into the car park.

Jack glanced over at Evan as he switched the engine off, "I doubt there's going to be anything left for you to do here and there's only ten minutes left until we clock off so why don't you get going. You've had a hard first day so make sure to take some time for yourself tonight. I know what you students are like these days," he joked.

Evan just chuckled at him, "Thank you," he clicked the door open and left Jack to it. Jack gathered himself for a moment before he too left the car and headed into the Lyell. As he walked in and buzzed himself in he was met by various lights turned off and Nikki stood by her desk packing her stuff away. He had assumed that Sam had gone home given that he could only see Nikki's car outside.

He edged around Nikki, perching himself on the side of her desk. She did seem chirpier but her eyes were definitely puffier. He leaned in closer to her so he could get a proper look.

"What's wrong?" He questioned, knowing that there was something wrong anyway but wanting to ease into the conversation.

Nikki looked up at him, one of her eyebrows raising, "Do you really need to ask that?"

Jack rolled his eyes, "I'm guessing it was Matt that was on the phone earlier? Do you want to talk about it?"

"He phoned to let me know that he was back and that he wanted to talk," she started. "And I've got this horrible feeling that it's going to be about what we were talking about earlier."

"Ah," Jack took in, already knowing that it was going to be a sensitive topic. "I didn't think he was coming back until tonight anyway? He missed his flight didn't he?"

"I don't know," she breathed, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm not sure what's going on in his head. I haven't known that for a long time. Hopefully, he'll be able to get it all off his chest tonight." Nikki zipped up her bag, smoothing it underneath her hands.

"Well if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to pick up the phone," he reassured her, placing his hand on top of hers. His fingers wrapping around and squeezing gently. "I'm always here for you Nikki, you know that." He had wanted to add that he would do anything for her but he supposed that she already knew that and it wasn't the time or the place to make such statements. Not with everything going on.

A grin spread across her face, having a feeling she knew what it was he was getting at. She honestly couldn't imagine her life without Jack now that he was in it. He had this ability to cheer her up and make her feel better no matter the situation.

Nothing else was said between the two of them as Nikki left the Lyell. Jack remaining there sat on the edge of her desk as he watched her walk out.

Wanting to get this night over and done with, Nikki made her way back to her house hastily.

She sighed as she pulled up on her drive. There was nothing she could do to prepare for what was going to happen the moment she got on the other side of that door. She knew what was going to happen. She had anticipated it for a while now but it still scared her. It was yet another failure. Another relationship she couldn't keep up with, no matter how long it had lasted so far.

Taking a deep breath, she left the car and headed into the house. It was unlocked so he was definitely here. She called out his name as she wandered down the hallway. She heard an answer when she walked into the kitchen, finding him sat at the breakfast bar. His face just as she had expected. Forlorn. A lot on his mind.

"Hi," she was the first to speak, setting her bag down on the table. "Shall we get this over with?" She didn't want to waste time going through all the small talk. They were both in this room for a reason and she just wanted to get straight to the point.

"You don't hang about do you?" Matt almost laughed which made Nikki get her back up instantly. If her suspicions had been correct then he really shouldn't be the one laughing. "It's not working is it?"

Nikki shook her head, folding her arms as she leant back on the counter, "No. It hasn't been for a long time," she paused trying to read his reactions. "Is there someone else?" Matt dropped his head and she felt her heart fall to the floor.

"Nikki I-" he began but was quickly interrupted by her.

"If there is someone, I just want you to be honest with me," she edged closer to him slowly. She tried her hardest not to come across as intimidating, that was the last thing she wanted to do. "I have a right to know."

Matt's eyes connected with Nikki's as he lifted his head, she could see that he was welling up, "I'm sorry," fell from his lips.

Nikki bit down on her lip as the tears slipped down her cheeks. She hadn't even realised that they were there. But she wouldn't let them get to her, she needed to keep her concentration if she was going to through the next couple of minutes.

"Do you love her?" She asked. She had to know. She had supposed that if he loved her then it would make things a little bit easier to come to terms with. People move on and change and sometimes you fall in love. And sometimes it's inconvenient but there's no point in denying it because the longer you deny it, the worse those feelings will get. And it will end up breaking you. She had learnt that the hard way, too many times if she was being totally honest.

Matt took his time to answer, he was clearly trying to prolong the heartbreak. If only he knew that he was making it worse by stringing it out longer. "Yes," he said eventually. "I didn't ask for it to happen but we've been so distant lately and she was there for me when I needed it. And I'm not saying that you weren't there. You were always there and I am so fond of you Nikki. But I think it's time."

Nikki sniffed, trying to hold in the sobs the best she could, "I agree and I don't blame you at all. These things happen and as much as it hurts you can't help the way you feel. You helped me to get out of a dark place in my life and I will forever be grateful for that," she smiled, a genuine one. She had meant every single word she was saying to him. "So go, be with her. Be happy."

She could see that Matt was quite taken aback by her reaction. He had half expected her to kick off and for there to be blazing rows but here she was telling him to go. And she wasn't putting a front up, there was no malice, she was being completely real with him. She had meant it. He stood up, meeting her in the middle. He placed a hand on her cheek briefly before pulling her into a hug. Holding her close against him.

Nikki hugged him back. It was breaking her heart but she would rather him be happy than stay in a relationship that wasn't working. Because it wasn't. It hadn't been for the past year. They had grown apart. No point clinging on to it. He pulled back from her, his thumb wiping away at her now damp cheek.

"Thank you Nikki Alexander," his lips twitched. "Thank you so much."

"And you," she backed away from him, wanting to put that distance between them now. She wiped at her eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day. "What are you still doing here? Go on, go." She smiled, gesturing her head towards the door.

He picked up a suitcase that he had clearly packed whilst she had been at work. They both said goodbye to each other one last time and she held it all in until the front door clicked shut. Then she felt her whole body drop to the floor as her sobs wracked her. She leaned her back against the counter, her hand covering her mouth, an attempt to keep the sobs down. The tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks and she completely let go.

All the emotions that culminated throughout the whole day escaping her now. She cried for the little girl that had cruelly been taken from the world. She cried for the parents that now had to deal with that reality. And now she cried for another failed relationship.


	2. Fragile is the Heart - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Nikki and Matt's relationship coming to an end, will Nikki allow her personal life to affect her work as the case starts to take a curious turn?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely reviews so far! I am so glad that you're enjoying it :)

Jack had managed to get into work pretty early that day. He had been hoping to catch Nikki and there were a few things from the case that had been playing over and over in his mind as he had laid in bed last night. He had wanted to get in as early as possible to see if he could straighten them out and answer all the questions he had been asking himself.

Evan had been there even earlier than him and Jack couldn't help but quip about how eager he was. He had just said something about wanting to give a good impression. Jack's eyes had scanned the room for Nikki but she was nowhere to be seen which was very unlike her, especially when they were working on a case. She usually wanted to be there hours before them and he had often wondered whether or not she actually stayed overnight in the Lyell sometimes. But she wasn't here and that worried him.

She hadn't been in a good state when she left him last night and if the talk with Matt had gone how she thought it was going to go then she would've been in an even worse state. And that _scared_ him. He knew how she could get when stuff like this happened, she just shuts herself off and pretends that everything is okay. And he had no doubt that that is exactly what she was preparing herself to do before she were to come into work.

Trying not to overthink it, he carefully retrieved an evidence bag from the cupboard of Lily Brown's clothing. They hadn't had chance to sample them yet, with everything that had happened and not enough hours in the day. He laid them all out on the lab table and called Evan over to assist him.

"What do you need me to do?" Evan asked, coming to stand next to Jack as he adjusted his glasses.

"If you could look at the skirt, try and find any trace of DNA, anything you might think is relevant," he spoke gently, watching as Evan peeled a pair of gloves on.

Evan nodded, happy to do what he was told and even happier to finally get on with something he knew he could do somewhat independently. The pair of them worked in silence, taking their time to examine every inch of the pieces of clothing. Jack almost felt his heart drop as he noticed a strand of hair just poking out of the jumper. Picking up a pair of tweezers he pulled the strand out. It was a long brown hair. This had to be the ticket. The girl had blonde hair and there's not a chance of cross contamination as no one else on the case had brown hair. And there was no chance it could belong to Woods, his hair was short. Although there was a possibility that it belonged to someone in her family. He would have to ask Nikki when she came in later, she _had_ met the girls parents after all. Picking up a small dish, he placed the hair back down inside, keeping it safe before they were to test it.

They both continued investigating just in case they found something else but there was nothing so far. All they had to rely on now was this single piece of hair. Jack just had to pray that he would be able to lift some DNA from it and even then he couldn't be sure that the person it belonged to was on the DNA database in the first place. But it would be a step in the right direction.

It wasn't long before Sam arrived, surprised to see that both Evan and Jack were here but there was no Nikki. That was very strange but given the state Nikki had been in for most of the day yesterday then, if she really thought about it, she wasn't that shocked. Not wanting to make it into a big deal, she handed the coffee that was meant for Nikki to Jack lying as she told him that they had given her the wrong order the first time round.

Jack thanked Sam, taking the cup from her, knowing full well that it was meant for Nikki. He didn't mind that the two of them had created a bond between them that he wasn't particularly involved in. If he was being truthful, it was a blessing to know that Nikki had someone else she could turn to if he wasn't around. Plus he supposed it was nice for Nikki to have another woman around the place. She had been just as heartbroken as he was when Clarissa had told them that she was going to be leaving them. Clarissa had come in with him but had left with so many more friendships. Although he didn't miss the two of them winding him up at every given opportunity. Or maybe he did in a way, he just would never admit to that.

His eyes had wandered into the direction of the entrance in the hope of seeing a flash of blonde hair heading their way but there was nothing. He was half tempted to ask Sam, see if Nikki had contacted her. But surely she would've said something if Nikki had told her that she wasn't coming in? It wasn't really his place to worry about her this much but he couldn't help it. He knew how she could get when she was like this and with everything that has happened over the past couple of years he knew he needed to keep an extra eye out for her.

"What are the two of you working on?" Sam asked them joining them again and looking at the clothes that were laid out on the table.

"Just thought we'd sample the clothes see if we could find anything," Jack explained, taking a sip of the coffee. It was alright, although much too sweet for him.

"And have you?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

Jack nodded, picking up the small dish that contained the strand of hair and passing it to Sam, "You were here when the parents came yesterday," he started. "Did the mother have brown hair?"

Sam shrugged, "I didn't get to see them sorry. You'll have to ask Nikki when she comes in."

Both Sam and Jack shared a knowing look between them, something which didn't go unnoticed by Evan. He furrowed his brows as he watched the pair of them, something had happened but he wasn't quite sure what. No doubt it had something to do with the fact that Nikki was late to work but as far as he was concerned she seemed to be fine yesterday. Perhaps a little bit shaken by the case but they all were. Quickly realising that it wasn't really any of his business he turned his attention back to the task at hand.

"Has she spoken to you?" Jack piped up, edging away from Evan and lowering his voice. Nikki was quite a private person and he was sure she wouldn't appreciate her life being aired to a student.

"Not this morning no," Sam shook her head, folding her arms. "I tried to talk to her yesterday but she just told me that she was having trouble with Matt and having this case coming through wasn't helping either."

"You know as much as I do then," Jack huffed, leaning back on the counter. "This really isn't like her, she's not even messaged me. I know she was going to talk to Matt last night and I told her that if there was anything she needed then all she had to do was give me a call."

Sam dropped her arms, moving to place a hand on Jack's, "She knows you're there for her don't worry. I doubt she'll be much longer but if she isn't here in the next hour I'll give her a ring, okay?"

Jack accepted that, he would've messaged her himself. But if things had kicked off with Matt last night then the last thing she would want is him harassing her and overwhelming her. She would come when she was ready and he just had to trust that.

Sam left the two of them to continue the work they had started but it wasn't long before they were being interrupted again. Jack couldn't stop the flutter in his stomach as he heard the buzzer for the door sounding off. His head had instantly flicked up in the direction of the hallway and he could see her blonde curls appearing from around the corner. He remained seated, not wanting to make it obvious that he had been worrying about her.

He did feel somewhat disheartened by the fact she hadn't even looked over at him and he had quickly guessed the reason why. If her and Matt had broken up then no doubt she had been crying all night and probably most of the morning. He had so desperately wanted to close the distance between them and pull her into his arms but he stayed there in the hope she would come over to him first.

He watched her as she took a deep breath and flattened her hair down with the palms of her hands before walking over to the pair of them. He could see the red rings around her eyes and the overwhelming feeling of wanting to engulf her into his chest and protect her from the horrors of the world, was surfacing. But he had to be professional, they were there to do the job and he assumed that Nikki would be grateful for the distraction.

"Have you found anything?" Nikki questioned putting two and two together as she spotted the clothes. Her throat was sore but she tried to mask it as much as she could, she could do without Jack's interrogations today.

"Just this," Jack picked up the dish once again and passed it to Nikki who was examining it carefully. "I wanted to ask you, did the mother have brown hair?"

Nikki shook her head, handing the dish back to Jack, "No she was blonde as well."

Jack digested that information, "So it's likely that this may belong to the killer?"

Nikki shrugged her shoulders, "Possibly. Have you contacted DI Fall about this yet?"

"No," he began. "I wanted to run it past you first. If the hair was likely to have belonged to the mother then it could be easily eliminated. But given that it may not then it's worth investigating, don't you think?"

"Perhaps," she spoke, walking away from him and heading back to her own desk. She sat down at her seat, switching her computer on. She could feel Jack's eyes boring into her, he had a tendency of doing that and it more often than not drove her mad. He would always look at her with such intensity it felt as though he was staring into her soul.

She just shook her head doing her best to ignore him. If she just focused on the case then she'd be able to get through the day and wash away any thoughts of Matt. Her mind had been running over every little detail last night, anything that she may have done wrong that would've caused him to look the other way. She hadn't come up with anything else other than they had just simply drifted apart, she couldn't help herself worrying though.

She could hear Jack speaking on the phone to the detective, his voice sounding more irritated by the second. She just rolled her eyes at him, he had never been the most sociable person and before long he was storming over to her and flopping down on his own seat.

"They still think it's Woods," he breathed, folding his arms as he peered over at Nikki.

Nikki flicked her eyes up at him, "But we haven't found any evidence to even suggest that he was involved," she sighed, leaning back in her chair. "I wonder why they're so determined to blame him?"

"Who knows," Jack raised his eyebrows briefly. "From what I can gather he's been associated with a few kidnappings in the past but he always seems to worm his way out of it. What do you say we go speak to the parents?"

"Why? What will that do?"

"Well for one it would help to eliminate them on the off chance that the strand of hair belongs to one of them," he started. "And two, if this piece of hair belongs to the killer then there is a chance they may know them. You know as well as I do that in these cases they tend to be closer to home."

"It's worth a shot I suppose," Nikki stood up again, knowing that Jack wasn't about to hang about on this one. If he had an idea popping into his head then he was going to investigate it as soon as possible. She pulled the coat back on that she had only taken off moments ago.

She waited for Jack as he spoke to Evan, explaining to him that it was probably best if he stayed at the Lyell for now, he knew how emotional parents could be in these cases and he wasn't sure that Evan was quite ready for that yet.

He turned back to Nikki and the pair of them headed out to Jack's car. Not much was said on the drive to the house although Jack didn't miss how Nikki had subtly wiped at her eyes every now and then. He was desperate to ask her about how it had gone with Matt yesterday but he didn't want to start up a conversation to have it be interrupted the moment they arrived at the house.

They parked up on the street opposite the house. It had been rather ordinary looking. Nothing over the top, just normal. A normal family who had now had this chaos and destruction forced upon them. A family whose lives will be changed by this heartbreaking time. All Jack and Nikki could do now was hopefully bring them a sense of peace. Something to ease their mind in the smallest of ways.

Clicking the door open, Nikki got out of the car first, making sure to have her ID badge ready just in case. Jack was beside her within seconds, his fingers folded into his palms. She had been tempted to rest her hand on top of his for the briefest of seconds but quickly decided against it. She had learnt many of Jack's little mannerisms over the years as he wasn't always one to outwardly portray his emotions most of the time. Clenching his fist was the most common sign that he was agitated.

She shook the thoughts away not wanting to waste any more time. The pair crossed the road and made for the front door. Jack put his fist out, wrapping his knuckles against the hardwood. They didn't have to wait long for someone to answer the door as Mr Brown appeared, his face quite shocked to see the two people standing in front of him.

"Dr Alexander what are you doing here? What's happened?" He asked, the nerves in his voice evident.

"Mr Brown this is my colleague Jack Hodgson, we just wanted to ask you a few questions if that's okay?" She explained, a small smile on her face hoping that she wasn't coming across as rude for intruding them.

"Uh," the man looked behind him for a moment before he turned back to the two of them. "Sure, come in." He stepped back from the door allowing Jack and Nikki to make their way into the home. Mr Brown shut the door after them and then quickly guided them into the living room.

"Lydia, Dr Alexander and," he turned to Jack not quite remembering his name.

"Jack Hodgson," Jack filled in for him.

"Right, Jack Hodgson, want to ask a few questions," Mr Brown finished. His wife just nodding her head slowly, looking at the two incomers, her eyes vacant.

"Sorry we don't normally do this," Nikki started, sitting down on the sofa on the other side of the room. Jack moving to join her as well. "I don't even think we should be here but there are a few things we would like to clear up with the two of you." Nikki rubbed her palms together, suddenly feeling quite nervous, she had no doubt that the two of them would get into serious trouble for going behind the police departments back but if they weren't prepared to follow a lead then they had to take things into their own hands.

"We found a brown hair on your daughters clothes," Jack piped up, noticing Nikki's drop in confidence. "We think this might lead us somewhere, possibly to the killer. The police are trying to pin it on someone else but we're not convinced. We hoped you might be able to help us out. Is there anyone you can think of that has been acting strange lately, something that hasn't felt quite right?"

Jack and Nikki watched as husband and wife shared a look between them. It was hard to gauge their reactions, it had been a mixture of offence that they had the audacity to ask such a question and fear that it may have been someone they knew.

Lydia had just shook her head, "Everyone around us has been so supportive. They would have to be another level of sick and twisted to be able to sit and drink tea with me as I grieve for my daughter," she paused. The tears falling easily down her cheeks. "Who do the police think it is?"

"They believe that it is a man who has been connected with a few kidnappings in the past," Nikki spoke.

"And you don't think he has anything to do with this?" Mr Brown's tone was sharp, taking the pair aback. Maybe they had been wrong to come and do this. They were out of their depth, this wasn't their job. This wasn't what they were trained to do. "Why? I'd say it's pretty likely."

"There is no evidence to suggest that he had anything to do with your daughters murder Mr Brown," Jack's voice was calm, wanting to simmer the tension that was quickly growing in the room. "Trust me I have tried my hardest to find something, anything, that would pin this man to the case but there is nothing. And I'm scared that the more time we waste trying to come up with some evidence to convict him then there's going to be less chance that we'll be able to find the person that _is_ responsible for this. We just want to find out what happened to your daughter so please if there is anyone you can think of, don't hesitate to phone myself or Nikki."

Jack stood up, not wanting to impose on the couple any longer. It was an extremely emotional time for them as it was without them making it even worse. The ball was in their court now and all Nikki and Jack had to do was hope they would be able to come up with a name. Nikki glanced up at Jack, picking up on the hint that it was time for them to leave.

Mr Brown showed them to the door in silence, he wasn't happy with them at all. But he jumped as he turned the handle, finding a woman with long brown hair stood on the doorstep. Nikki had gripped Jack's arm straight away but she had no need to. He was thinking the same as her.

"Rebecca, sorry I was just showing these two out," he stepped aside, letting Jack and Nikki pass.

Jack held his hand out to the woman, "Jack Hodgson I'm a forensic scientist working on the case and this is Dr Alexander the pathologist," he explained.

"Rebecca Martin," she took Jack's hand and shook it firmly. "I do hope you find the person who did this and when you do, I hope they _rot_ in jail."

"We're doing everything we can," Jack smiled, dropping his hand from hers. Both himself and Nikki hastily made their goodbyes and were soon sitting back down in the car.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Nikki questioned, looking over at Jack, their eyes connecting.

"I most certainly am," Jack clicked his belt buckle into place and started the car up, their next stop was the police station. If this wasn't enough to convince the police to follow up on this lead then Jack would be damned.

* * *

Back at the Lyell, Evan had been wandering around trying to find something to do. There was only so many times he could trawl over a piece of evidence after all. He had found himself staring at the various books that had been placed on the bookshelf. Ranging from philosophical ideas about good and evil to the fundamentals of forensic science. He let his finger run along the spines of the books, wondering how long it had been since someone had last picked one up. Judging by the thick layer of dust that now sat on the tip of his index finger he had guessed that it had been quite a while.

He felt his stomach drop as he heard his name being called thinking that he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. But he found himself relieved as Sam rounded the corner making her way over to him.

"Do you want to come into my office for a second?" She spoke softly. "It's nothing serious, I just want to know how you're coping with everything and if you're settling in okay."

She lead the way into her office, walking around her desk and sitting down in her chair. She gestured with her hand that Evan too, made himself comfortable. She could see the nervous look on his face and she knew that she had spooked him.

Wanting to prove to him that she genuinely just wanted to check in on him she continued, "So, how are you feeling? This type of case can be tough on anyone let alone a student who hasn't even qualified yet."

Evan looked around the room, he hadn't been in here yet. If he wasn't having to answer Sam's question he would've taken the time to appreciate the painting on the wall. His eyes returned to the older woman sat opposite from him, trying to think of the words to describe where he was in his head currently.

"I'm not sure really," he pondered for a moment. "It's definitely harder than I expected it to be. Not necessarily the work side of things but definitely having to deal with the emotional side can be quite stressful. But apart from that I think I'm quite enjoying it."

Sam nodded, taking in every word he was saying. It was important for her to know what was going on in his head as well as everyone else's heads. Of course everyone had their own lives and their own struggles that they didn't have to disclose with her. But she had wanted to make it clear to everyone from the moment she arrived that their mental well-being mattered the most. If they were struggling to cope then all they had to do was let her know. She wanted a strong team behind her, a team that could do their job to the best of their ability. And so far, her approach seemed to be working. And slowly but surely they were becoming a solid unit.

"How are you finding it working with Jack? I know he can be quite blunt sometimes but he always has the best intentions at heart," Sam pursued.

"I quite like him actually," Evan chuckled. "He gets straight to the point. But he has been very supportive. Nikki too. I enjoy working with them and seeing how their minds work. How they form conclusions and ideas just from one simple piece of evidence. It's fascinating to watch. I can only hope to have an ounce of that intelligence by the time my year is up here."

"And I'm sure you will, you have a smart head on your shoulders and I can already tell that once you've built up your experience that you are going to be one of the best forensic scientists I know," her lips twitched fondly. "But don't tell Jack I said that."

Evan laughed at that, "I am very grateful that you have allowed me this opportunity to work beside the three of you, this year is definitely going to be very memorable and I will cherish it deeply."

"Well, you're very welcome and to be truthful you're helping us as much as we're helping you," Sam admitted. "Just you being here is going to provide so many benefits for the Lyell so thank you. Are there any questions you want to ask me whilst we've got time before the other two show up again?"

"Do you think we'll actually find the person who did this?" Evan had seen Jack's determination shoot up after he had found that piece of hair. But he was struggling to understand how that single piece of evidence alone would lead them straight to the killer.

"When Jack has his wits about something it usually ends up being right," Sam breathed, avoiding the temptation to roll her eyes. "Jack and Nikki are amazing at their jobs and they will not relent until they solve it."

* * *

Nikki and Jack soon arrived at the police station ready to relay to the detectives their thoughts and theories in the hope that they could convince them to follow another lead. And hence stop clinging on to Mark Woods being the killer, wasting resources and time.

Jack was the first to leave, leading the way as Nikki followed closely behind. Jack felt as though there was a sense of deja vu happening, another round of them telling the police how to do their job. He chuckled to himself, he couldn't help it that they cared more about their status and own personal gain rather than actually finding justice for those who have had their lives ruined. Of course there were the odd few that cared for their work and wanted to make a difference in the world, but they never seemed to last that long unfortunately.

"What are you laughing at?" Nikki asked, noticing the smile on Jack's face as they stood by the front desk waiting for someone to buzz them in.

Jack shook his head, "Nothing, don't worry."

Nikki rolled her eyes, her own lips twitching. It was the first time she had smiled and of course Jack had been the one to cheer her up. She only just realised that she hadn't thought about Matt for a good hour, perhaps this was going to be easier than she had anticipated. Or she was just kidding herself.

Distracting her was DI Fall calling their names out and leading them towards an office.

"I have already told you Jack, Woods did this, if we keep digging we'll eventually find something," she breathed. "He hasn't got the best history and let's just say his movements in the lead up to the kidnapping and consequently the murder have been somewhat out of the ordinary. We just need the evidence to confirm it."

Jack shook his head, resisting the temptation to tut at her, "You have got this wrong and you know it," he made himself as comfortable as possible on one of the plastic chairs. Nikki choosing instead to stand behind him, finding herself taking an interest in the walls. "Nikki and I have been to see the parents."

"You've done what?" DI Fall folded her arms, her tone now fierce.

Nikki's head had flicked up at the sound of her name, suddenly she didn't want to be in the room anymore. She was happy to support Jack and she knew that he was definitely on to something but she really wasn't in the mood for all the repercussions that came along with sticking your nose in where it's not wanted.

Jack held his hands up in defence, "Before you say anything we may have found something," he knew this would intrigue her. She couldn't afford to waste this opportunity, even if she thought it wouldn't lead anywhere. It would be unprofessional of her to ignore a possible lead.

DI Fall sighed, "I'm listening." She sat down in the chair opposite from Jack, reluctantly listening to what the Irishman had to say for himself. He was really starting to grate on her and she was beginning to wonder how Dr Alexander put up with him on a daily basis. But then she supposed he was quite easy on the eye and no doubt they were probably sleeping together.

Jack cleared his throat, preparing himself for what may be a long rant, "As you already know we found a long brown hair on the clothes of Lily Brown," he started. "We have seen so many of these cases and you know as well as I do that they occur a lot closer to home than people want to believe. So we went to ask the parents if anyone around them had been acting odd or out of character over the past week or so, which is something _you_ should be doing," he added in the little dig.

"Jack," Nikki warned, placing a hand on his shoulder briefly. DI Fall watched this little interaction, hiding the grin that was threatening to spread across her face, _definitely sleeping together._

"Now we didn't have any suspicions of the parents, they're both grieving and I highly doubt that they would have the time to notice any change in their friends behaviour," he continued despite the look that DI Fall was giving him. "But as we were leaving we bumped into a Rebecca Martin who just so happened to have long brown hair."

"And?" DI Fall flicked her head, almost throwing her hands into the air. "If she's a family friend then it's not unlikely to find a strand of hair on the clothes that _may_ belong to her. Have you even sent that strand off for DNA?"

"Yes," Jack nodded, holding back the anger that was starting to bubble to the surface. "We should get the results back this afternoon. But I need your permission to collect DNA from the parents and hopefully this Rebecca. I really think this is going to be something that's worth taking a look at."

"And you know that for definite do you?" Fall retorted, she wasn't trying to wind Jack up on purpose but she could feel an argument brewing.

Jack's fist clenched, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Nikki. She knew that she was going to have to take over sooner or later otherwise things were going to get out of hand. Jack had always struggled to keep his head cool, especially when someone wasn't listening to what was clearly in front of them. Fall was annoying her but Nikki had the sense to keep herself composed in these situations and not fly off the handle. Something that she had had to learn over the years. She remained silent for the moment, appreciating that Jack was trying his best to keep calm.

"Look, if I thought that we would be able to get something from this Woods then I would back you the whole way but I have tried my hardest but there is nothing," Jack was digging his fingernails into his palm. "We may have something with this Rebecca Martin, I know it. If it turns out to be nothing then I will take the flack for it but I need you to trust me on this. Please."

Fall looked up at Nikki, waiting to hear her thoughts on this situation and Nikki knew it was time to support her friend.

"Jack's right," Nikki spoke up, clearing her throat. "There was something about her. It was odd. I can't quite put my finger on it but she's definitely a person of interest and it would be idiotic to ignore it."

"Fine," Fall said sharply. "I will give you one day to prove to me that she did this. After that, I'm pinning it on Mark Woods, okay? Do what you need to do but do it quickly. If this turns out to be a dead end I'm not wasting anymore time on it. Have you got it?" She stood up, happy to leave the room without an answer.

"I don't even need a day, you know I'm right," Jack's voice was laced with confidence that could be taken as arrogance depending on where you're sitting. Fall just scoffed at his attitude and left the room. Nikki caught his eye, fighting the urge to hit him on the arm for being such an idiot. He should know better than winding the detectives up. But at least now they could investigate freely and hopefully close this horrific case.

Nikki and Jack didn't hesitate to get out of the building and make their way back to the parents house. Both hoping that Rebecca was still there. If she had been the cause of this whole mess then she couldn't know that they were suspecting her.

They were pulling up in the same spot that they were in not half an hour ago and they walked up to the front door again. This time a silver case in each hand. There was a sense of relief between the pair as the brown haired woman answered the door, they were in luck.

"You're…" she began only to be interrupted by Jack.

"Jack Hodgson and Nikki Alexander again, I'm very sorry," he smiled. Trying to keep up appearances and come across as nice as he could possibly stomach. "But we need to take DNA samples from Mr and Mrs Brown. Just a process of elimination."

"Well I could ask but they were quite upset after you left them just now," her voice was soft, unexpectedly. "I'll see what I can do." She disappeared behind the door, leaving Nikki and Jack stood on the doorstep, staring at each other in disbelief.

It wasn't long before she was coming back to them, "They said it would be fine as long as you're quick," she paused. "Although I thought you already had a suspect? How is this going to help?" Neither could quite place how she was talking to them, but it left them feeling disturbed. If this was her own doing then she was much too confident for their liking.

"Like I said, process of elimination. It's all pretty standard," Jack pushed past Rebecca, Nikki following behind. They both made quick work of getting DNA and fingerprints, Nikki from Mrs Brown and Jack from Mr Brown. Rebecca had watched the pair of them going about their business. Keeping an eye on every movement they made.

She coughed, grabbing Jack's attention whose eyes had flickered in her direction. "Do you need to take my DNA? I am their closest friend and I practically live here. It might be useful if, like you say, you need to eliminate family and friends."

Nikki squinted her eyes, trying to suss out the woman stood in front of them. She was making her feel on edge, something wasn't right. If herself and Jack were on the right wavelength then why on Earth was she offering to give her DNA? Unless she's _that_ confident that she left no trace behind. _Well, no one is that good,_ Nikki thought to herself.

"If you think it will help our enquiries I don't see why not," Jack almost grinned at the fact she had volunteered herself. It for one made things a lot easier and two made her look even more suspicious. She was clearly sure of herself and Jack couldn't wait to scrub that smug smile off her face when she found out that they possibly had a strand of her hair that would put her right at the front of this investigation.

Moving, he pulled out a fresh cotton swab and carefully took Rebecca's DNA. His heart racing as her dark brown eyes glared back at him, almost as if she were staring right into his soul. He had no doubt that the woman in front of him had committed this murder, or at least had something to do it. And if that was the case then she really was a sick and twisted woman, to continue visiting her friends as if she had no idea what happened to their daughter. Jack knew he shouldn't jump to conclusions but he was so sure about this woman as he glared back at her.

Nikki packed up her stuff as she waited for Jack to finish, she was starting to feel unsafe in the room, not just for herself but on behalf of the parents. If they were right then she certainly didn't want to be the one to break it to them that their supposed friend had kidnapped and murdered their daughter. She almost shivered at the thought. It doesn't matter how long you have known someone because there will always be something that they will hold back. Something that they will hold close to their chest. You will never truly know someone inside and out. Nikki had grown to learn that over the years, especially in this job. People can and _will_ surprise you.

"All finished," Jack spoke, breaking the silence in the room. "Thank you all for your co-operation. This may help us a lot." He glanced over at Nikki, giving her a small nod before they were being shown out of the house yet again. Although this time there was less tension in the room, things had certainly calmed down since the last time they were here.

They were soon back in the car and making their way back to the Lyell centre after what had felt like an extremely long morning.

"How sure are you that she did it?" Nikki asked, looking over to Jack. She could almost see the cogs turning in his head. He had been thinking the same thing as her, it was strange that she would offer for her DNA to be taken.

"I don't think I've ever been more sure of something in my life," Jack replied, changing gear as they rounded the corner into the Lyell Centre car park. "She is way too confident for my liking. She knows she's going to get away with this, especially because they told her about Woods. Of course she's going to volunteer her DNA, throw us off the scent."

"I think it will be worth looking into her history, find out where she works, what she's about," Nikki suggested, getting out of the car and closing the door behind her. "You never know, it might give us some insight."

They both made their way inside, "Well you make a start on that and I will send this DNA off to be examined," he held the glass door open for her, letting her in first. "Meet you in the observation room in about ten minutes?"

Nikki nodded her head as she made her way to the meeting room. She placed her case down, pulling her laptop out and connecting it up to the monitor. She had no idea of where to start. It had been so long since she had to do the leg work in one of these cases. She had grown used to just performing the post mortem and leaving it at that for the past couple of months. It was strange how these cases would come along that would require just that little bit more care and consideration. But given the police side of the case being so incompetent then she was quite happy to put in the extra effort. Especially if it meant yielding results.

She started with a simple google search, making her way through various articles and noting down everything she had found and printing off a few things here and there. She was compiling all of her evidence into a neatly arranged folder, slowly building up what seemed to be a very suspicious case. Confirming her and Jack's feelings toward the woman.

Jack made her jump as he walked in, "What have you found?" He asked, resting his hand down on the table and leaning over her shoulder to look at her screen and the various pieces of paper Nikki had now scattered across the table.

"Well this is all I have found so far," she opened up the folder. She turned her head, not quite realising just how close Jack's face was to hers. She felt her breath hitch and she quickly flicked her eyes back to the screen, trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach. "Just from a quick google search, she was involved in a number of cases at the Hamilton Ashe Hospital. It seems that she was a nurse at the time where there were some strange child deaths over the years. Nothing came of it but she was fired for gross misconduct a few months back."

Jack nodded his head slowly, digesting the information. It wasn't looking good so far, "Have you looked at her hospital records?"

"I was just getting on to that," Nikki breathed, pulling up the relevant files on her laptop and searching for Rebecca's name. She was shocked as a long list appeared on her screen. Her eyes quickly scanned over the words, taking in all the things that were standing out to her. "According to this, she had attended a few therapy sessions as a result of childhood trauma." Nikki noted down the name of the therapist on the off chance that she may be able to get into contact with them. "By all accounts the therapy was successful and she was discharged a few years before she got a job at the hospital."

"So what happened after she got a job at the hospital?" Jack pondered. "I'm assuming she's got something to do with those deaths at the hospital, I mean that would have to be a massive coincidence, right?"

"It would explain why she's so forensically aware," Nikki pointed out. "If this isn't her first murder then she would know how to cover one up and get away with it."

"But why target your friends daughter? That's," he stopped. The lump in his throat forming. "Sick." He straightened, his arms folded as he leaned back on the table and looked down at Nikki.

"Well it's like you say, close to home," she pointed out. "They're not going to think twice about her, she's their closest friend. Plus, it's easy access. If she got a tase for killing children whilst she was at the hospital then she wasn't going to last long after she got dismissed, was she? And why go looking elsewhere when there's one right in front of you?" That way of thinking turned Nikki's stomach sick. She hated cases like this, how anyone could kill another person forever baffled her but anyone who could kill a child disgusted her.

"I guess it's just a matter of waiting for the DNA results to come back," Jack let out a sigh. "If DI Fall doesn't believe us now that we've found all of this then…" he trailed off, feeling himself beginning to get quite emotional.

They were interrupted by two figures walking in their direction, it was Evan and Sam.

"I thought I heard the two of you coming in," Sam called out, making her way into the room, her eyes scanning over the table, wondering just what the pair of them had been up to. "What have the two of you been doing? Anything interesting?"

Jack stood up properly and moved so that Nikki could speak, "Well, Jack and I went to go speak to the parents. See if they knew anyone who had been acting strange for the past week," she started, resting her elbows on the table. "They couldn't think of anyone but as we were leaving we bumped into a Rebecca Martin who just so happened to have long, brown hair."

"Just like what Jack found," Evan interrupted, moving to sit down on one of the chairs.

"Exactly," Nikki nodded. "We took our thoughts to DI Fall who at first didn't think much of it but thanks to Jack's persistence, she let us get DNA samples from the parents and consequently Rebecca Martin. We're waiting for those results to get back to us but in the meantime we've been doing some digging on this woman and well, she's starting to look more and more suspicious by the second."

"She worked as a nurse in Hamilton Ashe at the same time they had a high number of child-related deaths but nothing came of it. They ruled it out as just being one of those things, strange coincidences," Jack continued on her behalf. "She was dismissed a few months ago for misconduct."

"You were certainly on the right tracks with this one, weren't you?" Sam raised an eyebrow, walking around the table to take a closer look at the papers spread across the table. "Have you phoned Fall? Told her what you've found?"

"Not yet, no," Nikki shook her head.

"You carry on doing what you're doing and I'll give her a ring," Sam glanced over at Jack. "I can only imagine how you were earlier so it's probably best coming from me." And with that she left.

Nikki couldn't help but chuckle at the look on Jack's face. He wasn't used to having someone around that just told him how it was and brought him up on his behaviour, that had usually been his role. He didn't mind so much, it reminded him of Clarissa in a sense.

Jack edged closer to the table again, his finger picking at the corner of a sheet of paper. He had been desperate to ask Nikki just what happened between her and Matt last night. She did seem to have cheered up since she had arrived in the morning but he could see that she wasn't totally alright. There was still something wrong.

Evan's eyes flicked between the two of them, picking up on a sense of unresolved tension between the pair. He quickly realised that he should probably leave the two of them to it. He stood up, grabbing their attention.

"I was going to make a drink, do either of you want anything?" He asked, a polite smile on his face.

"I'll have a coffee, thanks," Nikki replied. Jack just shook his head, not particularly in the mood for anything.

Evan nodded before making his way out of the room.

Jack continued flicking the corner of the white paper, his nail scraping across the back of it making a noise that sent a shiver down Nikki's spine.

"Can you stop that?" Nikki snapped, placing her hand on top of Jack's, stilling his movements. She quickly removed her hand as she felt as though her heart had skipped a beat.

"Depends, are you going to tell me what happened between you and Matt last night?" Jack questioned, pulling the chair out so he could sit next to her and be on her level.

Nikki took a deep breath, sensing that the question had been coming. At least he had waited until now and let her calm down somewhat. And she supposed she did owe him an explanation since she had involved him, she knew Jack wouldn't leave her alone until he got some kind of an answer from her.

The tears in her eyes began forming again, she had done well to push him to the back of her mind for the most of the morning but now it was all coming back again. She looked over at Jack, the tears slipping down her cheeks as she felt him place a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. She didn't want to crumble but she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms. She couldn't believe that that thought had even entered her mind but she couldn't help it. She had always felt safe in his arms, secure. Like nothing could get to her. Nothing could hurt her. He was her safety net, he was home.

She wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand, "I wasn't wrong," she managed to get out. "There was someone else. Has been for weeks, possibly months. I don't know."

"Shit Nikki I'm so sorry," Jack moved closer so he could wrap an arm around her shoulders and hold her as tightly as their current position would allow him. "What happened? Did he just admit to it?" He dared to ask, he didn't want to upset her more but he knew that things would only get better once they were off your chest.

Nikki found herself resting her head on his shoulder, "I knew that he was going to end things from the moment I got the phone call," her voice was strained as she powered through the tears. "So I asked him. He just said that he was sorry and that he didn't mean for it to happen. We've been so distant lately Jack, I'm surprised we even lasted this long."

"Still doesn't make it right though, does it?"

She shook her head, "But you can't help who you fall in love with, can you?" She moved her head, her eyes connecting with Jack as the words fell from her mouth. "He told me he loved her and I don't want to be the one to hold him back. He may end up being happier with this woman and I don't want to stop him. He deserves to be happy."

Jack couldn't stop himself from reaching out to wipe away the tears that were continuously slipping down her cheeks, his lips twitching, "You are one of the bravest women I know. Only you could switch off your feelings for the sake of others." There were three words hanging off the tip of his tongue. He was desperate to say it, to tell her how he was really feeling but he couldn't. Not right now, not in this state and not with everything between her and Matt being so fresh.

He had come to admire her so much over the past eight years. She had reminded him of his mother, or at least what he could remember of his mother anyway. She was kind, selfless and had a heart of gold. He wished he could tell her or even show her just how much she meant to him. Matt was an idiot to let her slip through his fingers, even worse to find refuge in someone else's bed. If Matt ever had the cheek to turn up here again, then Jack would do everything in his power to make sure that he wouldn't get to speak to Nikki. He hadn't formed that much of an opinion on Matt over the past year him and Nikki had been together, but this put everything into place for him.

"You deserve to be happy as well Nikki, you do know that right?" He leaned in closer to her, to catch her eye again as she dipped her head. "You can put you and your feelings first sometimes. Be selfish."

"But I am being selfish," she retorted. "And I am thinking of myself. I didn't love him Jack, or at least, I don't anymore. I haven't for a long time. We were both just dragging it out for the sake of not wanting to say that it was over. That we failed. And if I'm being honest, I haven't exactly been faithful to him either."

Jack screwed his eyebrows together, suddenly confused, "What do you mean?"

"Cheating doesn't always have to be physical does it?" Nikki couldn't tear her eyes away from him, her heart was beating out of her chest in ways she couldn't explain.

"I…I…What are you getting at Nikki?" Jack stumbled over his words. She always had a way of making things even more confusing than they initially were. And now his mind was racing, thinking where and how Nikki was able to fit in having an affair whilst being tied up with everything that had been going on at work over the past couple of months. Besides, he never had Nikki down as being the cheating type, she had always been fiercely loyal in everything she did.

"Emotional cheating can be just as bad, can't it?" Nikki had no idea of where all of this was coming from. The words were tumbling out of her mouth and her brain was having a hard time to catch up.

She supposed that deep down she knew where it was coming from, Jack had always been the one constant in her life. The one who never seemed to let her down or leave her. He stayed after Leo was cruelly taken from her, he stayed when Thomas had met the same fate, he stayed when Clarissa decided to take a different turn in her life. And now he was here, being her rock as Matt left her like everyone else had.

She knew this wasn't the time nor the place to be having this conversation with him but things seemed to be naturally heading that way. Things were always that way with Jack, natural. Easy. Like how things were meant to be.

"Nikki, are you saying there's someone else?" Jack's eyes were darting across her face, not quite knowing where to look.

She shook her head, almost chuckling, "Not necessarily but…" Her voice was cut off by Evan coming into the room, a mug of coffee in his hands. Jack's arm had quickly dropped from around her shoulders and he'd put a fair distance between them now. She could feel herself shiver from the loss of contact, the atmosphere that had built up in the room between them fizzling out.

"Sorry I didn't mean…" Evan started, placing the mug down on the table.

"It's okay," Nikki interrupted, wiping away the remainder of the tears with her hand. "We were just talking."

Evan's eyes travelled between Jack and Nikki trying to figure out what had transpired between the two. It wasn't really any of his business but he had certainly walked in on _something._ He had his suspicions about the two of them when he first met them the day before but he was sure Nikki had mentioned someone else. He shrugged his thoughts away, it had nothing to do with him.

"Sam told me to tell you that DI Fall and DS Hart are on their way," he spoke. "They'll probably be here in the next five minutes."

"Okay thank you Evan," Jack sniffed, hinting at the boy for him to leave. He watched as he left the room before turning back to Nikki. "Are you going to tell me what the hell that was then?"

Nikki shook her head, the moment gone, "It's nothing Jack, don't worry."

"It obviously is something, why else would you bring it up?" Jack bit the inside of his cheek, he didn't want to lose his temper with her because that would only make things worse but he just wanted to know what she was getting at. He hoped that they were more on the same wavelength than he thought. What if his feelings for her were mutual? What if she felt the same as him?

"Jack please," she breathed. "It's nothing."

Jack opened his mouth to speak but they were interrupted again as DI Fall stormed through into the observation room. DS Hart hot on her tail.

"Right let's get this over with, what have you found?" Her face like steel, she was not impressed that Jack and Nikki had found more about the possible killer in such a short space of time. Her arms were crossed as she stood opposite from where Nikki and Jack had been sat. Her eyebrows were sharp and even Nikki could feel her blood boiling at the woman's stare.

Both Jack and Nikki relayed the information to the detectives just as they had done for Evan and Sam. The detectives had shared a look between them, both of them knowing that they had messed up and been too stubborn. As Nikki and Jack led them through their findings it was becoming more and more obvious that Rebecca Martin might just be the person they were looking for.

"We better go get the address, don't you think?" DI Fall turned to Hart, looking deflated. "Have the DNA results come back in?" She asked Jack.

Jack shook his head, "Not yet, but I wouldn't imagine they'd be much longer."

"Once they come in, if they match, I want you to come down to the station right away and hand them to me personally," she spoke firmly. "I'll be able to keep her talking, see if she'll admit to anything but I'm going to need the hard evidence, okay? The evidence comes to me straight away," She reaffirmed, emphasising each word. "Jack, I'm going to need you to come with me, I want you to do a sweep of the house."

Jack fought the temptation to roll his eyes, instead choosing to nod his head. His fist was clenching again as he controlled his anger. This woman had ignored all of his ideas that he had thrown in her direction and now she had the cheek to boss him around like she had found everything out herself. He raised his eyebrows at Nikki before he stood up himself and followed the two detectives out of the room. He called out to Evan as he passed through the office, telling him that he was joining them.

Just as they had the previous day, Jack and Evan followed behind the police, this time making their way to Rebecca Martin's house. As they pulled up outside her house, the first thing Jack noticed was her car and the gravel on her drive. That was all the confirmation that he needed. This woman had definitely done it.

Himself and Evan left the car and waited just outside as the police spoke to Rebecca. She had briefly made eye contact with Jack, sending a shiver down his spine. She knew that it was all over for her and it was a result of Jack. Jack just shook his head, he couldn't believe her. She killed her supposed best friends daughter yet he was the one in the wrong. Some people were really unbelievable, something he could never get used to.

He watched as they put her in the back of the police car and drove off. Jack walked over to her car, carefully taking his phone out of his pocket to take photos of her front wheels. Evan joined him, squatting down as he looked at the gravel on the floor. Jack handed him a pot to gather a few of the stones so they could double check back at the lab if they were a match but Jack was certain they were.

Standing back up, they made their way inside the house. Unlike Woods' house, this was neat, tidy. As though everything had it's place. They walked through the hallway and into the kitchen, nothing jumping out to them as of yet. Jack's eyes expertly wandered around the room. Looking out the window, his stomach dropped as he spotted the shed in the back garden.

Opening the back door, Jack led the way down the stone path, eventually reaching a wooden shed. It was stained a dark brown but looked fairly new. It hadn't been weathered by the storms. He pulled the handle down, pushing the door open, revealing an open space. There was a mattress in the corner of the room, made up. There was also a set of draws. Moving into the room he opened them up to reveal various articles of clothing inside. Jack felt sick. He turned back to face Evan who had already started taking pictures of the scene. This was most definitely where she had brought Lily.

He breathed in, he couldn't smell bleach. She hadn't cleaned the room, _that_ he was sure of. He looked down at the floor, quickly spotting the red stain. This was the murder scene.

"Evan," he spoke, breaking the silence.

Evan glanced up at Jack before following his line of sight. He took a picture of it as Jack squatted down, swabbing the area to pick up the blood in order to test it against Lily's. Although Jack knew that he wouldn't have to. Jack and Evan continued the sweep of the area, finding a few fingerprints and even a blonde hair on the bed. Knowing that he had found everything that he needed to, Jack packed his stuff up and headed back to the Lyell to get everything tested as quickly as possible.

They were met back at the Lyell by Nikki. Jack didn't hesitate to get things running, he pulled out the tube containing the stones and passed them to Evan for him to compare whilst he set about getting the blood tested. Luckily Nikki had already sampled the girls blood before so it wasn't going to take him long to get a match. He also ran a DNA test on the strand of hair he found on the bed.

Just as he started, he heard an email come through on his laptop. He gave Nikki one look and she was already rounding his desk to read the email, knowing what it was going to tell him. She printed off the details and passed the sheets to Jack.

He felt relief wash over him as he took in the information. The DNA of Rebecca Martin matched the strand of hair they had found on the girls clothes. Now all they needed to do was wait for the results to come back on the tests Jack had started running, which hopefully wouldn't take too long as Jack had taken the shortcut with these ones for the sake of saving time.

He was sat down on the stool in front of the computer, his hands tapping against the metal as he waited for the results to come in. Nikki had debated on making him a cup of tea to pass the time but she had a feeling that the moment she made it the results would come through and he would be shooting out of the room again.

"I'm not an expert but," Evan spoke, walking over to Jack and Nikki from the other side of the room. "I'm certain that they're the same," he handed the stone samples to Jack who just nodded before passing them over to Nikki.

"Another brick in our wall of evidence, we need everything we're going to get," Jack breathed. "But it's looking pretty unlucky for her. She's going to have a lot of explaining to do if she thinks she can get out of this one."

"Fat chance of that," Nikki exclaimed, placing the samples down on the table. Jack had quickly caught Nikki's eye at the sound of her voice before he dropped them again. He didn't miss how her breath had hitched and how awkward she had become. She was going to tell him something earlier but now that the moment had gone, he'd probably never find out.

The computer started beeping and Nikki had never seen Jack move so fast. He was at the printer within an instant, watching as the paper left the machine with all the information that they needed to convict the woman. He carefully checked over the evidence, double checking that every thing was in order and as he had expected. His suspicions confirmed, he was grabbing his coat and heading back out of the Lyell, Evan towing behind him.

As they came to the car park, Jack shot out of the car, not bothering to wait for someone to buzz them in. Although he was sure that they recognised him at this point and he couldn't exactly waste anymore time. An officer led them into the observation room as they knocked the door on the other side to let DI Fall know they had arrived.

Fall rounded the corner, her face somewhat more hopeful than the last time Jack and Evan had found themselves here. He passed all the relevant papers to Fall, along with photos they had managed to print out of the scene.

"There was a shed in her garden," Jack started. "In it we found hair that matched Lily Brown, along with her dried blood on the floor. The long brown hair found on her clothes was also a match for Rebecca Martin. Along with that, the gravel in her drive matched the stones found at the scene and the tyre tracks are a match as well. That woman in there killed that girl."

DI Fall nodded, "Thank you. I mean it," and she had, Jack knew that. Sometimes you could get your head lost in an idea and he was stubborn enough to know that sometimes no one can change your mind.

He felt himself relax as he sat down in the chair behind him, his gaze moving to the double-sided mirror as he watched the woman being interrogated. He couldn't help the smile on his face as he noticed her own smirk drop. She had been caught out, finally.

"Would you care to explain how Lily Brown's blood ended up on the floor in your shed, at the back of your garden?" Fall asked, leaning forward on her elbows. "Perhaps how a strand of her hair was in the bed also in the shed?"

Rebecca had bowed her head, not bothering to look in the direction of her lawyer, knowing that it was pointless trying to come up with a lie to try and cover herself up. They had found everything and she had so wished that she had been more careful. She had been so careless, so idiotic.

"Rebecca?" Hart pushed. He was obviously playing good cop given the softness in the tone of his voice.

"Fine," she spoke eventually, lifting her head up again. "I don't know why I did it. I was angry, I just lost my job and I didn't know what to do with those feelings."

"We also have reason to believe that you were involved in a number of deaths that happened at Hamilton Ashe when you were a nurse there," Fall got out as she pulled out the relevant files detailing the evidence Nikki had found against the woman.

"It's why I lost my job," Rebecca sighed. "They thought that some of my actions had caused the death of various children. It was always on my shift so they ended up putting two and two together."

"Why didn't they investigate it properly?" Hart interrupted.

Rebecca shrugged her shoulders, "I had taken a long break after I had qualified as a nurse, I was in and out of therapy but you probably already know that. I had just gone back into nursing when I lost control of everything again. I didn't know what had came over me the first time. I suppose they asked me one too many questions and I snapped. I let go," she was staring blankly, almost as if she was having an out of body experience.

"I killed them," she continued. Fall and Hart remained silent, wanting to let her talk. "I killed them all. It was like something ticked inside of me that first time and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't fight the urge. They thought that I had made too many mistakes but I hadn't. I did it all on purpose. I wanted them to suffer like how I suffered. Because I suffered. When I lost my job, I tried to push those feelings down. Those urges. Those temptations. But I couldn't. I had got the taste for it and I couldn't let that go. So I took her and I killed her. I killed Lily Brown."

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. He glanced over at Evan checking that he was okay. He hadn't even considered that this was the first time he would've witnessed something like this. He was pale and he looked as though he was going to throw up. Jack couldn't blame him, he was feeling the same himself. They had seen enough though, there was no need to hang around now. They had got what they came for.

Standing up, he gestured for Evan to follow him as they headed back out of the police station and into Jack's car.

"You alright?" Jack queried.

"I can't believe she just admitted to it," Evan managed to get out. "Like it was nothing. Almost as if she forgot to turn the oven off. How can anyone be so heartless to kill children and feel nothing? You have got to be seriously damaged." The tears slipped down his cheek.

"By the sounds of it, she probably was," Jack sighed, reaching over the threshold to take hold of Evan's shoulder and squeezing it gently. "I will admit, she's probably the worst I've ever seen. But unfortunately there are people out there that are like that. But the question is, are you prepared to deal with people like that?"

Evan pondered over the question for a moment, not quite sure of how to answer it. But he spoke eventually, "As much as people like that frighten me. The feeling I got, knowing that I helped to find that little girl justice and her parents some peace. That feeling beats anything else. I made a difference in the world today, albeit I only played a small part in that. But, I got to see an evil woman be put away today. To serve time for her crimes. And that only encourages me more."

"Good," Jack smiled. "Back to the Lyell?"

Evan nodded as Jack started the engine. They were back at the Lyell in no time, now feeling as though a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Jack let Evan lead the way this time as they were met by both Nikki and Sam sat at the desks in the offices. Sam turned around in her seat to look at the two who had just walked in.

"How did it go?" She asked eagerly.

Jack raised his eyebrows at Evan, encouraging him to speak.

"Well," he began, suddenly feeling quite nervous. "She admitted to everything, including the murders she committed at the hospital. All it took was us giving them our evidence and she cracked. Although, she's a deeply troubled person, I can say that for sure."

Sam winked at Nikki before standing up, "And how are you feeling?" She walked over to Evan.

"A bit shaken," he chuckled. "But we did good today and we've found closure for the family. And that is what I came here to do."

"I think that's cause for celebration, don't you think?" Sam suggested, looking round to the other two in the room. "Think I might have a bottle of something in my draw."

Sam led the way as Evan followed behind her. Jack and Nikki lingered for a moment, both of them just staring at each other.

"I will get it out of you," Jack grinned.

"What?" Nikki's eyebrows furrowed as she stood up, making her way towards Sam's office.

"What you were going to say to me earlier, I will get it out of you Nikki Alexander," he said smugly, joining her side.

"Is that so?" Nikki threw back, stopping in her tracks as she tilted her head to look up at him.

Jack nodded, full of confidence, as he stepped closer to her, anticipating her. He leaned forward slowly, his hand coming to rest on the back of her neck. He let his lips linger on her cheek for a moment, feeling the change in the temperature before he quickly backed off and headed into Sam's office.

He left Nikki standing there in complete bewilderment, her face now a very bright shade of red. And the feeling of Jack's lips burned into her cheek. She just shook her head and tried to calm her breathing before she too made her way into Sam's office, joining the other three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Blast From the Past - A familiar face returns in Sam's life as they find a woman's body on the train tracks. But is it all what it seems?


	3. Blast From the Past - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face returns in Sam's life as they find a woman's body on the train tracks. But is it all what it seems?

The alarm sounding off had grabbed her attention. Reaching over to her bedside table, Sam switched the snooze button on her phone. She had been awake for quite a while now, always one to wake up before her alarm. She'd just been lying in bed, letting her thoughts gather. It had been a good few months since she had started back at the Lyell and she was beginning to wonder why she left in the first place.

She hadn't quite realised just how much she missed it. It wasn't until she had set foot back in there and worked on her first case had it hit her. This was always where she was meant to be, always what she was meant to do. It was as though it was in her blood. She had thought she'd had enough of it, that she was fed up of dealing with death all the time. But, she had come to see that it wasn't something she could escape. So instead she chose to embrace it.

Pulling herself out of bed, she made her way into the kitchen. Since taking up the new position she had had to find herself a new house and almost start fresh. Which felt weird when she thought about how this had been her life for so long. But at least now she had an opportunity to inspire a new generation and build up a passion or fire within them to find answers for desperate people. She supposed that was what had brought her back, she needed the change and a purpose for something. Not just sat in an office pushing papers.

Evan had seemed to be settling in, or at least that was what Sam had gathered. She had tried not to pester him too much, rather wanting to give him the opportunity to get used to the place. With their line of work that's the only thing you can do, throw yourself into the deep end. Get used to the heartache first. That way you'll harden and you'll be able to deal with the stuff that is hurled at you. But from what she had seen, Sam could see that Evan had been dealing with it pretty well. And she knew that he was going to become a great forensic scientist once he got his degree.

She was about to pour the milk over her cereal when she could hear her phone buzzing on the counter. She walked over to it, her face screwing up as she didn't recognise the number. Swiping across, she pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hello Sam Ryan," she spoke. She listened to the voice on the other end of the line, a body had been found. Only one thankfully so there was no need to call Nikki in, she knew the woman could do with a break. She wrote down the address on a piece of paper and hung up.

Forgetting about the bowl of cereal that sat on her counter, she made her way into her bedroom, getting ready as quickly as possible and heading out to her car.

It didn't take her long to find the crime scene and she could see that Jack, and she assumed Evan, had already made it to the scene. She had thought that was unusually quick for Jack, he was normally the one turning up to late to crime scenes unless he was with Nikki. But she couldn't complain, it was nice to see Jack setting a good example for Evan.

Rounding her car to the boot, she pulled out her silver case and slipped on her white suit. She set about getting her gloves on as she let the boot of her car close. They hadn't given much information on the phone apart from that it was a young woman who had looked as though she had jumped in front of one of the passing trains. It was more than likely a suicide so Sam was struggling to see how a detective was getting involved. But she had come to stop questioning things so much these days, instead choosing to get on with what she was there to do. Provide scientific facts.

_He watched as another person arrived. This one was obviously the pathologist, the colour of her suit giving that away. He had been counting the cars and the people. He had almost laughed to himself, all these people getting involved and not a single one of them were ever going to find him. They had no chance of figuring him out. He had done everything so carefully, so meticulously that they would never catch on. They'd never notice. He'd been getting away with it for so long now and he was free to do as he pleased. That freedom only spurred him on more, he knew he could get away with it. He refreshed the app on his phone, nothing new had been published, they still thought it was a suicide. And now this woman had turned up, he knew that she would be the one to confirm it. To confirm that he had done it again and he had gotten away with it._

_This was the first time he had returned to the scene, he had wanted to know what it felt like. To actually get to see people interpreting your hard work. And it felt amazing, that feeling was like nothing else. It almost matched the feeling from the first time he had first set foot there. He continued watching for a couple of minutes, until he had caught eyes with the police officer and then he started his car and sped off. As though he was just some passerby interested in why police vans had parked up in the street._

She flashed her ID card to the police officer who had been standing next to the tape. She waited for him to tick her name off and then she was able to pass under it. Walking across the gravel she was could see Jack talking to Evan as he was photographing something and there was a detective stood behind them. No doubt he was questioning what they were doing.

Approaching them, she cleared her throat to grab their attention, "Professor Sam Ryan," she called out. She had already put her gloves on so she didn't bother holding her hand out to shake anyone's hand.

She could feel her stomach drop to the floor as the detective turned around. Now that was a face she hadn't seen for a very long time. She'd go as far to say that she had forgotten he even existed. She cursed herself for that terrible thought. Her eyes scanned over his face, taking him in as she stared back at him in utter disbelief.

"Michael?" She questioned, trying to keep her voice calm. She could see Jack in the corner of her eye flicking his head between them, trying to gauge what exactly was going on here and how these two people knew each other.

"Sam," Michael replied, a smile growing across his face. "You're still here then? I can't say I'm surprised."

"And what about you?" Sam could feel her cheeks getting warmer, she bowed her head trying her best to shrug off the growing embarrassment, "It's been a while hasn't it?" She was trying to divert the conversation.

Michael's face didn't drop as he watched the woman in front of him, quite happy to know that despite all these years being put in between them, they had not changed that much and he somehow still had an effect on her.

Those fifteen years since the last time she had seen him had felt like nothing now that he was stood in front of her. Rather feeling like a couple of months. And she could tell that the feelings she had for him all that time ago were going to resurface. He was one of the few people she had struggled to shake off and she still thought about him for years after. Not so much anymore but the spark was still there. The way her heart was racing right now was proof of that.

But she shook her head, remembering that she had a job to do and reminiscing on times gone could be done in her spare time; not when there was a body in front of her that needed to be examined in order to find answers. She tried to ignore the fact that he was watching her every move as she turned to look down at the body. Her face barely resembling a person as a result of the train hitting her at such a speed.

All the hallmarks of suicide seemed to be in the evidence around the body and nothing was jumping out to her that was out of the ordinary right now. As she bent down to have a closer look, the smell of alcohol had hit her in the face, the woman had been drinking. But there was no bottle to be seen.

"Have you taken anything from the scene yet Jack?" She asked, straining her neck to look up at the much taller man.

He shook his head whilst pursing his lips, "No," he replied, matter of factly before turning back to Evan who was taking more pictures.

"So it's likely that she had been out drinking before she came down here," she was now speaking to Michael. "And she is wearing what looks to be clothes one might wear on a night out so it's plausible. She must've gone out with someone. Have there been any missing persons reports in the area?"

"Nothing yet," Michael started. "At least, nothing that's matching her descriptions. We'll probably get something soon though. If she had been out with friends then somebody's going to be wondering where she ended up."

"It's going to be hard to get an ID but we might get something from the DNA but unless she's on the system we won't get much," she went on to explain. "Although if she was going out, I should expect to find some form of ID on the body. She can't be much older than twenty. Jack did you find anything?"

"No, I've not taken anything from the body," he answered before walking over to the embankment, gesturing with his finger. "This does look flattened though, could it be possible that she slipped down here first?"

Sam's brows furrowed, this was strange. Unless, she dropped her ID somewhere else? Or maybe there was another explanation as to what happened? If so, was this actually a suicide? Quickly remembering that Jack had asked her a question she went on to provide him with some kind of an answer, "There's a lot of mud on the body and on her clothes so I'd say so yeah." She must've dropped her stuff along the way, Sam thought to herself. "Jack, can you and Evan do a search of the area? See if there's anything that might belong to her; an ID card, a phone, a bag. Anything."

"Yes boss," Jack quipped, winking at her before nudging Evan in the direction away from the body.

Sam shook her head, rolling her eyes at the two of them walking away. Jack had been a difficult one to get used to, he was very standoffish towards her in the beginning. Not quite ready to move on from Thomas, but he had slowly succumbed to Sam. Although she thought that that had something to do with Nikki. She couldn't put her finger on those two, they were very close but nothing had seemed to have given. And now Nikki had supposedly broken up with this Matt, Sam was struggling to see why nothing had happened yet. Although she couldn't exactly say much, not with her situation with Michael over the years.

Turning back to him, she offered him a small smile before continuing her initial examination of the body. And it wasn't long before she had finished and was asking for the body to be moved, all the questions she had running through her head could only be answered when she was doing the post mortem. Standing up and peeling her gloves off, she made her way over to Michael.

"It's more than likely a suicide," she began to explain. "There are a few queries I have that need to be investigated so we can paint a better picture. But that can be done back at the Lyell."

Michael dug into his back pocket, pulling out a small card and handing it over to Sam, "That's my number if you need to give me a ring," he grinned, the blush growing on his cheeks. "I'm going to clear up a few things back at the station but I should be there in time for the post mortem. Can't wait to see you in action again."

Sam bit the inside of her cheek to stop the smile threatening to emerge. She nodded her head slowly, not wanting to give him an answer before she stepped back and headed towards her car.

Evan and Jack were in the middle of their sweep of the area, taking the time to walk up side streets, trying to find the possible path she took. Jack stopped as he spotted a shoe in the middle of an alleyway, he placed his arm in front of Evan stilling him.

"Have you got a bag?" He asked but Evan was already handing it to him. Taking it from him, Jack squatted down and picked up the shoe, placing it into the plastic evidence bag. "That has to be hers, right?"

Jack's eyes continued to scan the area, if this was the way she walked then they just had to follow this route and hopefully something else would pop up. Standing up straight again, he started walking further along, Evan close behind him almost like his third eye; ready to spot if he had missed anything. And it seemed as though he had as Evan called his name just as they reached the other end of the alleyway. Jack's eyes travelled to where Evan had been pointing at, _bingo._

He patted Evan on the back briefly before moving to pluck the ID card up with his fingers. He scanned over the information, _Frankie Jones, D.O.B 21st April 1998._ Jack sighed, she was only twenty-two. He almost felt angry, she was just getting her life started and someone had ripped that away from her. But life had a funny way of doing that.

His mind had instantly been drawn to Thomas, he had tried not to think of him because it hurt too much. To know that he had died to save him. He knew Nikki and Clarissa had been there, watched it unfold in front of their very eyes. But neither of them spoke about it, just told him that Thomas' dying wishes was for him to be saved and for them to say goodbye to Rosie for him. He wished it had never happened, he wished that he had never gone to that crime scene. Then maybe, just maybe, Thomas would still be alive.

Thomas had died for him and he couldn't help but feel guilty about that. It was his fault. When he had met up with Clarissa and Nikki that day and they sat and watched Rosie with the kite, he couldn't look her in the eye. Because they all knew that he was the reason Thomas had taken that risk. He wanted to be the hero. That was always Thomas, taking on everyone's burden. Sorting everything out himself.

Jack closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he felt the panic rising up his throat. It had been like this for months, ever since he had been discharged from hospital. He didn't know how to deal with it, it had never gotten this bad before. Although, when he thought about it, those few months after Mexico were tough. It had been his fault then. If he hadn't gone out there to get Nikki, Eva would never have taken her. Because there wouldn't have been anyone else that loved Nikki so much they would risk life and limb to get her back.

He had failed Nikki then and he had failed Thomas now. And in many ways he had failed Clarissa. If he had been a better friend to her, supported her more when she was going through it all with her mother then maybe she would've stayed as well. But she left him too. Just like everyone leaves him in the end. Nikki left him for Matt, granted she's not with him anymore but she still tried to make a go of her life outside of the Lyell, away from him. Clarissa had left to focus on her life more. Thomas died fighting to save his life. His mother walked away from him. Ryan doesn't speak to him anymore. And his dad is, well, his dad.

He jumped as he felt a hand coming to rest on his shoulder, "Is everything okay Jack?" Evan asked softly.

Jack looked up at the young boy, he was jealous of his innocence. He wished to go back to when he was that age and knew nothing more than going out with his mates and trying to see how many girls he could pull in one night. Not that he ever went out that much. He was too focused on his studies, doing everything he could to make his mother proud. But even that didn't convince her enough to stay. He hadn't spoken to her since that day, he didn't know where she ended up. He didn't even know if she would be proud if she could see him now and the mess of a life he had had.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jack spoke eventually, standing up and placing the ID card in another evidence bag. "We best get this back to Sam," he started making his way back towards the car, knowing that this was probably all they were going to find. And Jack needed some space, to clear his mind.

Evan watched as he left, his face full of confusion at the Irishman. He liked Jack, found him easy to get on with, but there were moments where he scared him. He would have this look on his face that Evan couldn't quite understand and he didn't know what to make of it. He knew something had happened not long before he had joined the Lyell but whatever it was, nobody spoke about it. He did some research and found out that someone called Thomas Chamberlain had died as a result of some cover up within the military but that was it. He had no idea of who this Thomas was but it must've had an effect on both Jack and Nikki but neither of them talked about it. Both preferring to keep it bottled up. Shaking his head he caught up with Jack as they reached the car and left the scene.

* * *

Back at the Lyell, both Nikki and Sam were in the locker room getting ready to perform the post mortem. Nikki had managed to persuade Sam to let her help out, something about wanting to learn from the best. Sam had brushed that comment off, reminding Nikki that she didn't need to learn from anyone, she was already one of the best pathologists in the country. If her appearances in court were anything to go by at least.

Sam had been mindful to look into the people she was going to have working under her and she had found the various articles of Nikki. And from what she could gather, Nikki had her way with the courts and she could certainly work a crowd. And despite having many of her cases being questioned, she always managed to turn them around and prove herself to be better than before. In many ways, Nikki had reminded Sam of herself and she couldn't wait to get to work with this wonderful woman. And after being here for the past couple of months, she had found that Nikki was even more fastidious in person.

The articles she had managed to dig out about Jack were from his time in Yorkshire, long before he had set foot in the Lyell. Although she didn't think much of them, she knew it would be best to take them on board. She had gathered that he was a very driven person and if he had a theory then he clung onto it unless there was hard evidence to prove that he was wrong. And from what she had gathered in the first week of being here, he hadn't changed much. She wasn't complaining though, she knew that you needed someone like that on the team because they usually ended up being right.

She could feel the hairs on the back of her neck standing up on end as her and Nikki walked into the mortuary. Michael was stood in the observation room, keeping a beady eye on every little movement she made. Nikki stood opposite from Sam next to the body, her eyebrows furrowing as her eyes flicked between Michael and Sam. Her lips twitched into a smirk as she caught the slight blush on the tips of Sam's ears.

"Who's he?" She quizzed, raising an eyebrow.

"Just an old friend," Sam replied bluntly but she didn't miss the twinkle in Nikki's eyes and she knew she was in for a questionnaire. "We worked on a few cases in the past. I was quite surprised to see him actually, didn't think he'd still be working."

Nikki nodded, deciding now wasn't really the time for push for more of an answer, "So, what have we got so far?" She asked, glancing down at the body that lay on the slab.

Sam moved to push the button in order to turn the microphone on so that Michael could now hear them, "We have an unidentified female, found on the train tracks. Unfortunately her face was hit by the train so a facial ID is out of the question. But I have taken some DNA from her hair so we might able to get a match if she's on the system," Sam started. "From what we can gather, it seems as though she may have jumped in front of the train and at the scene, I struggled to find any evidence that would go against that theory. But to be thorough I will take some blood samples for toxicology. Nikki do you want to?" Sam gestured with her hand towards the scalpel that lay on the small table.

Nikki nodded, picking up the sharp blade. She made her first incisions into the body, ones she had lost count of how many times she had done. It coming second nature to her, she barely had to give it a thought. A couple of minutes later and the whole of this woman's body was on display. She had often wondered what had possessed her to do this job, that there must have been this sick side to her to want to stare at a persons insides all day. But then she supposed it's not that much different to being a doctor and someone had to do it.

Pulling her from her thoughts was Sam, taking the scalpel from her and beginning to remove each organ to examine individually. The two of them worked in silence, only speaking to confirm or describe what they had found. Nothing they had found had seemed suspicious. From what they could gather, this was a physically healthy young woman. As they set about closing her up, Sam was quick to notice faint lines on her arms.

"There are some markings on her arms," she spoke, gesturing for Nikki to join her to take a closer look. "They're very old, can barely make them out but I would say that they're self inflicted wounds, wouldn't you?" She looked up at Nikki who just nodded and grabbed the camera so they could document it.

Just as Sam moved to speak directly to Michael; Jack and Evan were joining him in the observation room. Sam turned her attention to them, a hopeful look on her face, praying that they had managed to find something.

"Her name's Frankie," Jack announced. "Frankie Jones, she's got previous for various drug convictions and she was in and out of care homes when she was younger. We found her ID a couple of streets away, along with a heel."

"That might explain why she had been self harming," Nikki pointed out. "But those wounds are years old, there's nothing physically to suggest that she had been struggling recently."

"Something might have happened to trigger it all again," Jack breathed, his eyes connecting with Nikki's briefly before facing DCI Connor. "It would help if we could get a bit more of a background on this woman, that was the only information I could get. We need to know why she wanted to kill herself, her last movements and what led her to the train tracks."

"I didn't realise you were the detective Jack," Michael quipped, causing a chuckle from Sam, Evan and Nikki.

Jack's head flicked between the three people, confusion on his face, "I was just trying to help that's all. Get things moving so we can wrap it up."

"I'm in charge of this Jack, you do what I tell you to do, not the other way round," Michael explained, taking a step forward. "But, just this once, I will take what you have said on board and that's only because I was going to say the same thing."

"Actually there were signs of recent sexual activity," Nikki interrupted. "I can swab the vagina for any DNA but it would be useful if we could find out if she had a partner."

Jack huffed as he watched how Michael didn't remark at Nikki suggesting for him to do something, he didn't think much of the man when he first met him but now he had certainly formed his opinion. It was always the detectives that rubbed him up the wrong way. He knew Nikki was going to end up telling him off for it but he couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault if most of them were incapable of their jobs and only wanted to solve the cases that would benefit their own careers. He had seen it happen too often.

Although Jack had a feeling that this wasn't going to be the last time that he was going to be dealing with this DCI Connor, given the way Sam had reacted to him at the scene. So maybe he should back off a little and give the man a break. Only a little though, Jack still needed to have something to get annoyed at.

As he sat down at his desk, Nikki and Sam were emerging from the hallway, Michael following closely behind them. Sam and Michael continued to talk whilst Nikki diverged and joined Jack, perching herself on the edge of his desk. She looked around, pursing her lips as she noticed that someone was missing.

"Where's Evan?" She asked, looking down at Jack.

"I told him he can go have his lunch early. He's worked hard this morning so I thought he deserved a longer break," he explained. Placing his elbows on the glass, Jack leaned forward and lowered his voice. "So, who is he?"

"It's not like you to be so interested in someone's personal life Jack," she teased, leaning closer to him ever so slightly.

"Not as if there's anything interesting going on in mine," he sighed, pushing himself back on his chair and putting a distance between them.

Nikki straightened her back up before standing up and rounding the desk to her own chair, "Well, she didn't say much. Just that he was an old friend and she wasn't expecting to see him," she started but was cut off by a giggling coming from the direction of Sam's office.

"I wasn't on about," Jack began, his eyes glancing towards the office and then back to Nikki who's face was now turning a shade of red. He still hadn't managed to get it out of her, the conversation from a few weeks ago still playing on his mind. He hadn't stopped pestering her about it but Nikki being the stubborn person that she is, still kept her cards close to her chest. He just wanted her to say it, to hear those words come out of her mouth.

He watched as Nikki dropped the eye contact, switching her attention to the paperwork that sat in front of her. Jack bit down on his lip as he remained silent, it was going to have to wait for another day.

"It's been so lovely to see you again Sam," Michael spoke softly, his hand coming up to brush against Sam's arm. "I can't believe it's been so long."

Sam's breath hitched as she took a step away from Michael, his hand dropping. She walked around her desk and sat down in the chair, her elbows resting on the table with her hands clasped together, "Look Michael, what happened between us was a long time ago. I thought we settled it then, do we really have to go over it all again?"

Michael took a deep breath but nodded, "I know. I just didn't think I'd ever see you again. Especially not here, the last I heard you'd moved back up to Ireland."

"I did, for a long time," Sam replied. "I wanted to be with my son. I had spent too many years away from him and I wanted to fix that but it was too late. He didn't want anything to do with me so I tried my best but I found myself missing this place. Missing the chaos. And when I seen that they were looking for someone to take over, I couldn't turn that opportunity down."

"And are you enjoying it?" He asked, his hands resting on the back of the chair opposite Sam.

"Even more than I did before," she grinned. "Speaking of which, I have a report to write up so, if you don't mind." She pointed her heads towards the door, indicating to Michael that it was time for him to leave.

Michael chuckled, shaking his head, "You haven't changed, have you?" He didn't bother waiting for a reply, knowing all too well that he wouldn't get one.

Sam watched as he walked out of her office, shutting the door behind him. The moment she heard the door click her hands came up to run over her face, feeling her body relax despite her heart still racing. It had been so long, how was he still doing this to her? The phrase 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' coming to mind. It had always been him but like before, he was probably still married and she'd still be second best. The mistress. The hidden secret. She tried to put the thought to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the blank page in front of her, trying to think of the words that would start her report.

* * *

_He had been watching this one for a while. Keeping tabs on her. He knew that she was going to be a difficult one to get but the reward was going to be worth it. He followed behind as she walked through the park, keeping a safe distance so she wouldn't notice. He'd been doing this every day for the past two weeks. Keeping track of her movements and her habits, making sure he knew every key detail before he struck. He was itching to do it, to get it over with and feed off that ecstasy but he knew he had to wait. Otherwise they would connect it. They would know straight away that something wasn't right and then he would be in trouble. No, he had to keep a low profile for the next couple of weeks. That didn't mean he couldn't have his fun though._

* * *

It was later on that afternoon when they were able to get the test results back from toxicology. Nikki had taken the results in to Sam straight away, worried after she had quickly glanced over them herself. She placed them down on her desk in front of her.

"She couldn't have killed herself," Nikki stated. She glanced over her shoulder after hearing movement behind her, only to see that Jack had followed her in. Evan hot on his tail. She turned back to Sam, watching the older woman reading over the graphs. "She was so intoxicated she probably couldn't even walk, let alone take herself to the nearest train track."

"It's not out of the realms of possibilities though," Jack pointed out, moving to sit down on the back of the sofa. "She could've been so intoxicated she didn't know what she was doing in the first place, she could've thought she was somewhere else entirely."

Nikki shook her head and opened her mouth to speak but Sam had beaten her to it, "This a lethal mixture of drugs; ketamine, cocaine, ecstasy. A couple of minutes later and that would've been what killed her," Sam sighed. "I knew there was something that wasn't right. At the scene, it felt staged but staged well, I'll give them that."

"We need to find out her movements, who she was with? Where did she go? And how exactly did she get those drugs in her system?" Nikki folded her arms, her eyes looking around the room at the various faces staring at her.

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "I told DCI Connor that's what we needed, have we heard back from him yet?" He asked, his head turning to face Sam who just shook her head. "Well maybe you can have a word with him?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sam's face screwed up, not quite liking Jack's insinuation. She rolled her eyes, breathing heavily out of her nose. "There is nothing going on between DCI Connor and I, okay? As I told Nikki earlier, we've just worked on some cases in the past and he is an old friend. That is it."

"But, as an _old friend_ , you can push him to find our answers a bit quicker," Jack smiled innocently, looking up at Nikki and giving her a quick wink. Nikki put her tongue to the roof of her mouth in the hopes of stopping the smile that was threatening to spread across her face. For once, she wasn't on the receiving end of one of Jack's wind ups.

Sam had flared her nostrils preparing herself for an answer back but they were quickly interrupted by a DCI Connor standing in the middle of the doorway, "Jack. Evan, is it?" He pointed his finger towards Evan who had just simply nodded. "I need the two of you to come with me. Collect DNA and fingerprints. It seems we have found a boyfriend. What's happened?" He asked, noticing that the four of them were staring at him, concern all over their faces.

"We have doubts that it was a suicide," Nikki piped up since everyone else had seemed to lose their voices. Moving, she picked the piece of paper up from Sam's desk and handed it to Michael. "There was cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine in her system. They would've had an effect on her pretty much straight away so it's unlikely that she would've been able to even walk let alone jump in front of a moving train."

"But what if she stumbled her way there, what if it was an accident?" He challenged, passing the piece of paper back to Nikki. "Didn't you say that there were signs she may have fallen and there was mud on the body. Plus Jack found her shoes and her ID a couple of streets away. What if she took the drugs as she got there?"

"We would've found evidence of that," Sam spoke. "There was no drug paraphernalia around the body. If she took the drugs there and then we should've found them, unless there was someone there that cleaned up. And if someone was there then that would suggest intent. And as Nikki said, if she took the drugs before, it would've been very unlikely that she'd make it to the train tracks on time. She would've been dead in a matter of minutes."

"I have to agree with that actually," Jack breathed. "When Evan and I were walking through the streets, it did take us a good while to find our bearings and that's without any alcohol and drugs in our system. Someone put her there and made it look like a suicide."

Michael sighed, running his hands through his hair, "We best go see this boyfriend quickly, see if he had anything to do with it."

Jack, Evan and DCI Connor all made their way to the house. As they pulled up, Jack could already tell that it was going to be a difficult one, the estate was pretty rough. Nothing he hadn't been used to before but he knew that the guy they were about to meet wasn't going to be happy about seeing them. Leaving the car, the three men headed towards the small house, it wasn't much to look at. Basic. Jack's eyes had glanced over the front garden, all kinds of rubbish littering the floor. He held on to his silver case just that little bit tighter as he looked over at Evan. Jack sighed, he wished he could still have that innocent look on his face. No judgement, everything being completely new. They stood behind DCI Connor as he knocked on the door. It was a couple of minutes before a man revealed himself behind the wooden frame. His hair closely shaved and no care taken for what he was wearing.

"Mr Paul Stewart?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, who's asking?" The man spat, his arms crossing as he stared back at the three of them.

Connor dug into his pocket before pulling out his wallet containing his police badge, he flashed it to the man, not that surprised to see that he didn't react much except jut his chin out further and straightened his back, in an attempt to assert himself more, "We need to ask you a few questions about your girlfriend, Frankie. And we're going to need a DNA sample from you, can we come in?"

Jack was shifting his weight on his feet, catching his attention. He tried to ignore the bubbling inside him, he just knew this man wanted a fight and he knew that Jack would be the one to target, to push over the edge. But Jack kept his cool, not wanting to rise to the bait. He had been trying to control that side of him recently and he wasn't about to let it all out on some random man who was pushing for a punch.

"If you have to," the man stepped back, allowing the three of them to walk in. He had moved on from Jack, now eyeballing Evan as they walked in to the living room.

Jack took hold of Evan's arm just as he moved to grab the case, "You don't have to do this," he warned, keeping his voice low. "There's going to be plenty of others."

Evan offered him a smile, shaking his head slightly, "I'll be fine Jack, I've got to get used to it sooner or later haven't I?" Opening up the suitcase, Evan pulled on some fresh gloves before picking up the test tube and walking over to Paul. Jack watched him attentively, wary of what this man might do.

"Would you mind telling us where you were last night Mr Stewart?" DCI Connor questioned as he walked into the living room.

"Are you sure he's old enough to be doing this?" He scoffed, looking at DCI Connor and then at Jack. "He looks about twelve. If I end up in prison because he's messed this up well," his eyes connected with Evans. "I'd watch your back son."

"Mr Stewart I asked you a question," Connor pushed, not quite liking the man and wanting to get this over and done with so they could leave sooner. He could see that he was trying to push buttons and see who was going to crack first and he had already spotted that it wasn't going to take Jack long to snap. And quite frankly, he didn't want to let that happen. It didn't take a genius to work out that the man could pack a punch and along with his arrogant attitude, Michael was beginning to wonder what Dr Alexander could see in him.

Evan clenched his jaw, ignoring the remarks he was making and just getting on with the job. He ran the swab up and down the inside of both cheeks, although Paul didn't give him much time as he flicked his head away and sat down on the sofa behind him.

"I was here, all night," he huffed.

"And can anyone confirm that alibi for you?" Michael queried as he wrote down what the man was saying to him.

He shook his head, his annoyance quickly growing, "Is anyone going to tell me what's going on?"

DCI Connor took a deep breath before perching on the arm of the chair, "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but I'm afraid your girlfriend was found on the train tracks early hours this morning," he explained. "Do you think you might be able to tell us what her movements were the night before? We had gathered that she may have been on a night out, there was alcohol in her system, along with a concoction of various drugs."

"And you think I had something to do with it, don't you?" He stood, walking to the other side of the room. Jack squinted his eyes as they followed him around the place.

"We didn't say that," Jack quipped. "We just want to find out what happened the night before and what led her to the train tracks."

The man shrugged, completely unbothered by this shocking news. That wasn't sitting well with Jack at all, that wasn't how you reacted to finding out your girlfriend's died and there's a possibility she'd been murdered. If Jack was on the receiving end of that news, he would be losing his mind and doing everything in his power to find out what happened.

"I wasn't there," he eventually spoke. "The bitch probably deserved it anyway."

Jack made to take a step forward ready to pin the man up against the wall but he felt a hand pushing into his chest, stopping him. Evan remained quiet as he watched the scene unfold in front of him, he had never seen Jack like this before. He had gathered he had a short temper from what Nikki had said in passing comments but he didn't expect anything like this. And why now? Why today? Why was this particular person irking him? It wasn't as if he didn't have to deal with people like this on a regular basis, Evan was sure Jack had seen these kinds of people a million times before so why was this one different? That and how he was at the scene this morning, something wasn't adding up.

He shook his thoughts away, turning his focus on DCI Connor who was trying to diffuse the situation and get some kind of an answer out of this man, "Do you know where she went or who she might have been with?"

"Some girl named Katie I think, I don't know," he rolled his eyes. "I come home from work and she said she was going out. I seen her for all of two seconds, she mentioned a Katie and that's all I know."

"Do you have an address or a number for this Katie?" Connor pushed.

"What did I just tell you?" He answered back, flinging his arms into the air. "She's never mentioned a Katie before, I don't know who she is."

Connor nodded, "Okay. Can you tell us what Frankie was like for the past couple of weeks, her mental state?" He paused, waiting for an answer but Paul just stared blankly at him. "There was evidence of previous self inflicted wounds. Can you tell us anything about them?"

Paul chuckled, "That was all attention seeking that was," he was shaking his head, the smile on his face causing a chill to travel down Evans spine. "She'd switch the waterworks on and off whenever it suited her. She started doing all that when I told her I was leaving a couple of years ago, that I had met someone else. She's seemed fine, her usual bitchy self."

Evan raised an eyebrow at that and quickly caught Jack's eye. The look hadn't gone unnoticed by Paul however, "Sorry have you got something to say mate?"

Evan looked in the mans direction, panic all over his face as he shook his head, unable to form any words in his mouth. He gasped as Paul grabbed hold of his arm but it wasn't for very long as he was being pushed away by Jack. Evan stepped back as Paul squared up to Jack, getting close to his face.

"What are you going to do big man?" He taunted Jack. Evan thought he was going to keep his cool but it was like something had flipped in his brain and he now had the man by the scruff of his collar and he was pushing him down on to the table in the middle of the room. He could see that Paul hadn't been expecting that as he struggled against him, trying to prise Jack's hands off his t-shirt.

It felt like everything was moving in slow motion as DCI Connor was pulling Jack away with all his might. He eventually let go and headed out of the room. Michael made his apologies and warned that they were probably going to come back at some point if they had anymore questions. Evan and Michael made their way outside. Jack had already got in the car, ready to make a quick get away.

As Michael sat behind the wheel, he turned to face Jack, "What the hell was that?"

"He was asking for it," Jack brushed off, his jaw clenching as he focused on the car parked in front of them. Determined not to look in the direction of Michael.

"But you don't give it to him," he was trying his hardest not to raise his voice as he started the car. "He's a potential suspect Jack, if this ends up going to court…"

"Yeah, yeah I know," Jack interrupted. "I'm sorry. I'll write a formal apology."

"Let's just hope he doesn't make a complaint otherwise this whole investigation is going to be screwed," Michael got in as he pulled away and started their journey back to the Lyell.

* * *

"I will get it out of you, you know," Nikki teased, winking at her fellow colleague as she took a sip from her mug. "Something must've happened between the two of you because there's been a few detectives that you've known from before and none of them have had this effect on you."

Sam shook her head, trying her best to ignore the smirk that was spreading across Nikki's face. She sighed, accepting defeat, Nikki was only going to keep asking questions until she got an answer. So the sooner she gave her an answer the sooner she'd leave her alone, "Fine," she took a breath, chuckling as she watched Nikki sit up eagerly. "It was years ago and he was married at the time so it never went any further. Seeing him again brought all that back for me. Made me realise that," she stopped, not quite sure of what words to use.

"That he was the one that got away?" Nikki finished for her to which Sam pressed her lips together and nodded. "I used to think that about Harry. There'd be days where I would just pick up the phone but I couldn't bring myself to dial his number. He had his own life to get on with, he had moved away from this place. Moved away from me. But then when I'd go out to Washington to see Matt, I'd head in to New York before I had to come back here and," she took a breath, suddenly noticing that her eyes were welling up.

"Well, that first time I seen him after so long, I realised it then. He wasn't the one that got away," she smiled, a genuine smile. "He was my best friend and for years I thought, I hoped, that we would be more but now, I can't see that. I still have all this love for him but it feels different now and I don't understand that."

Sam's mouth opened slightly as she stared back at Nikki, an incredulous look on her face, "I have one word to say to that, Jack," she said bluntly.

Nikki's eyebrows knitted together, "Sorry?"

"Oh come off it Nikki," she scoffed. "You and Jack. You're telling me that nothing's ever happened between the two of you?"

"No," Nikki answered, almost too quickly and with too much defence as she straightened up.

Sam raised an eyebrow, the smirk on _her_ face now, "I told you. It's only fair that you tell me."

Nikki huffed, realising the hole she had now dug herself. She should've known that Sam would find a way to turn this back around on her, Nikki wasn't the only one who could expertly sway a jury after all, "Okay, fine. Something may have happened a couple of years ago but we haven't spoken about it since and nothing came of it. And when I got with Matt that was it, history."

Sam laughed, "From what I've seen of the two of you, that isn't history," she leaned back in her chair, taking a sip of her own coffee. "So, what happened?"

Nikki gulped, she hadn't told a soul about what happened between her and Jack in Mexico. She had sworn down that she would never speak about it and she certainly wouldn't let it happen again. She didn't want to ruin the friendship between her and Jack. But she felt this sense of trust welling up inside her as she looked over at Sam, as if she could tell her her deepest, darkest secrets. There was something comforting about the woman, something almost maternal. And that something was what Nikki had yearned for her whole life, ever since she had lost her mother.

"A few years ago, Jack and I went out to work on a case in Mexico," she began. Despite it being years ago, the memories and emotions were all still so clear and raw to her. She had spoken about her trauma countless of times with her therapist but there were certain details she had kept to herself, certain details that involved Jack. Because it was their secret, their shared memory. "To cut a long story short and I know this sounds absurd but, I got trapped in a box for fifteen hours. And the only thing I could do was talk to Jack on the phone," she started to pick at the skin around her fingernails subconsciously.

"I heard his heart break over the phone and obviously I managed to find my way out," she would almost chuckle at that if it weren't such an awful situation that still haunted her to this day. "When we found each other, emotions were running high and it just sort of happened. It was like we needed to be so close to one another because we were both scared of losing each other," she let the tears slip down her face now, wiping them away with the back of her hand.

Sam opened the draw in her desk and pulled out a box of tissues, placing them on the desk in front of Nikki, "I'm sorry. If I thought that this was going to be an emotional topic for you, I would never have pushed you for an answer."

Nikki shook her head, her lips twitching, "No it's fine honestly. I've just never told anyone about it before. Not even Clarissa," the image of the woman flashing across her mind, a smile creeping across her face. "Jack and I haven't even spoken about it. It just got buried amongst all the other things that happened out there."

"I think it would be good for the two of you to talk about it, you know. Get things out in the open, you never know what might happen. And you're not exactly tied down in a relationship anymore are you? You're free to do what you want so if Jack's what you want then do something about it before it's too late," she was half expecting Nikki to kick off and tell her that she was wrong but she was surprised to find that the woman agreed with her, nodding her head.

"Has that CCTV footage come through yet?" Jack asked making the two women jump as he stood in the doorway. Nikki noticed the hardness in his face straight away and she quickly came to the realisation that something had probably happened.

"Is everything okay? You look a bit pissed off," she asked, standing up and making her way over to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he brushed off as he moved aside to let Nikki pass. Nikki's face screwed up at his sudden coldness towards her and she just shook her head at him, leaving the room. She wasn't in the mood for one of his tantrums. Jack looked over at Sam, waiting for an answer.

Sam clicked the button on her laptop, noticing that she had a new email. Selecting it, she had found Jack's answer, "Yes, I'll forward it to you now."

"Great, thanks," was all he replied with and then he was off again. Sam watched as he left, confusion all over her face, she had no idea of what had just happened and knowing Jack, she didn't particularly want to find out either.

Nikki sat down at her desk, perturbed by Jack's attitude. She would've asked what had happened in the time they had gone but he seemed to have disappeared. She didn't have to think twice about where he had gone and she knew better than to go and hassle him now. He needed some time to work the anger out of his system. Glancing up from her screen, she looked over at Evan noticing that he too seemed somewhat upset. Curiosity taking over, she stood up and walked around to him.

"How are you finding it all?" She spoke softly. "Not struggling too much I hope. I know this place can be a whirlwind sometimes. I can't imagine having to study a degree on top of it as well."

Evan shrugged his shoulders, "I think I'm doing okay. Everything seems to happen so quickly around here."

Nikki smiled at that, he was spot on, "Are you sure there's nothing else bothering you? We are here to answer any of your questions after all."

"There is something actually," Evan looked up at Nikki, his hands rubbing together nervously. "When we went to go take a DNA sample from the boyfriend, Jack sort of lost his temper with him and pinned him down on the table. I mean the man wasn't the nicest I'll admit and I think Jack was just defending me but it took me by surprise that's all. I've never seen him like that before."

Nikki nodded slowly, taking it all in before reaching out and taking hold of Evan's shoulder, "Jack has a short fuse and often flies off the handle so I wouldn't worry too much about it," she swallowed, starting to feel a little more panicked now. Jack had been known to lose control but he hadn't been like that for a long time. Not since those last few months after Mexico. "Did he hurt this man?"

Evan shook his head, "No I think he just surprised him that's all," he explained. "He was taunting Jack as well, it was like he wanted a fight."

"Well in that case he probably deserved it," she joked. Although she thought Jack had been doing a better job at not rising to the bait being thrown his way. It worried her less now that she knew this man had being trying his best to wind Jack up but all the same, he had been acting strange recently. Like he was reverting to his old, self destructive ways. And that worried her more because she knew how much Jack could beat himself up about things, literally speaking. Her eyebrows furrowed, noticing that the tension in Evan's face was still there, "Is that all that's bothering you?"

He shook his head, "This morning, he didn't seem right," he breathed. "When we found the ID, he zoned out like he had been reminded of something. He just went quiet and after I got his attention he wanted to leave, he didn't want to look anymore even if there was more evidence out there."

Nikki listened carefully, up until now what she had seen of Jack hadn't worried her. He had seemed fine when they spoke this morning but from the way Evan had described him, it seemed so like Jack it was scary. She wasn't too sure of what to say that would comfort Evan.

"Nikki can I ask you something?" He spoke, interrupting her thoughts.

"Of course."

"Who's Thomas?" He felt the adrenaline surge through him as he watched Nikki's face drop, he knew he shouldn't have asked but it had been playing on his mind ever since he had found the article.

"Thomas," fell from Nikki's mouth. She hadn't spoken about him, the image of him lying on the mortuary floor still burned into her memory. A smile spread across her face as she thought about him, she had tried for months to look back on his death in a positive light. She had so much death and destruction in her life over the years she didn't know if she could cope anymore. And when Thomas had died she thought that would've been it but Thomas died with a purpose, with reason. His death wasn't in vain and it gave her Jack. The one person she couldn't live without, even if she wasn't totally ready to openly admit that just yet.

Her eyes soon settled on Evan who had been looking up at her, slightly panicked as she went silent just as Jack had earlier, "Thomas was a wonderful man," she started. "And even though I think I wound him up most of the time, he would've done anything for anyone. Always one to fight your corner. I don't know what you've read but Thomas died a few months before you and even before Sam came here. We were working on a case involving a nerve agent and Jack had been sucked into the middle of it."

She took a deep breath trying to control her emotions, she was determined to not cry for a second time that day as she continued, "He was in hospital for a while, fighting for his life. But as Thomas was performing a post mortem, we found a vial of that nerve agent and so he tested it in the mortuary since we had the equipment," she swallowed the lump in her throat. "This particular strain of nerve agent was able to pass through the filters on the suits. Which meant that it had gotten into Thomas' system pretty quickly but not before he could find out what exactly was in the nerve agent. And because of him," she stopped, struggling to get the last words out.

"Jack survived," Evan finished for her, he let out a breath, things starting to click into place. "So Thomas died to save Jack? That must be hard to live with, to know that the only reason you're walking around today is because somebody died."

Nikki nodded, "Jack often takes that burden on himself," she sighed. "Even when things aren't remotely his fault. Thomas made the decision to not get any help even when I begged him. So there was nothing Jack could've done to change what happened."

She was wearing a sad smile now, memories of the past couple of years seeming to creep up on her today. She hadn't thought about Mexico in a long time and she hadn't thought about Thomas either, so it was strange for everything to be raked up today. "Don't worry too much about him, okay?" Her hand was back on Evan's shoulder, reassuring him. "Jack can be a funny character when it comes to stuff like this so I'll deal with him." She stood up, smoothing her hands down her legs. "How about a cup of tea?"

"Yes please," Evan answered, feeling a little lighter now that he had got things off his chest. And things were starting to make sense a bit more now. And it would explain why Nikki and Jack were as close as they were if that is what they've had to deal with over the past year.

Jack had soon re-emerged from the locker room a couple of hours later, his face not so tense now and it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Nikki watched him as he moved to sit down in his chair, not a single word passing his lips as he logged onto his computer. It was after a couple of minutes when Jack was calling Evan's name.

Evan shot up instantly, worried that he had done something wrong. He had all but rushed over to Jack's side, "What's wrong?" He questioned, feeling his heart rate quickening.

"Does he look familiar to you?" Jack pointed at the screen. Evan squinted, it was hard to tell who it was since he was wearing a hoodie so you couldn't make out any of the details in his face. He took a closer look and he realised what - or rather who - Jack was getting at. It was plausible, he seemed to be the same height and build and given the way he had been acting, it wouldn't have surprised him if he had killed his girlfriend. But if Evan was being frank, it could've been anyone on there.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I suppose it does look a bit like him," he said eventually.

They had grabbed Nikki's attention who was now rounding the corner to look for herself, she folded her arms as she stared at the image of the man on the screen from behind Jack, "You think that's the boyfriend?"

"It has to be him," Jack sighed. "The way he was earlier, it wasn't normal. He hadn't even reported her missing, he didn't care about this woman at all. He was almost relieved when we told him that she was dead."

"Shock has different effects on people, you should know," Nikki pointed out without even thinking. Jack snapped his head to catch her eye. Nikki almost felt the need to take a step back knowing that she had crossed that line, something which hadn't gone unnoticed by Evan who was closely watching the pair of them.

Jack dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone, his fingers tapping in DCI Connor's number. The dial tone rang as Nikki and Evan went back to their seats.

It wasn't long before DCI Connor was pulling up at the Lyell again. His knuckles knocking on the glass doors before Nikki made to let him in. He didn't waste much time as he walked to Jack's desk asking him just what he had found. He let out a breath as he watched the footage, "It's hard to tell it's not the best quality but I suppose it could be him," he agreed. "And he doesn't have an alibi for last night either. If we get anything back on those fingerprints and DNA I reckon we can charge him. Good job Jack."

"Even if we get a match on the DNA it doesn't prove anything," Nikki was quick to point out. "It just proves that they were together before she went out."

Jack's face screwed up as he thought over what the man had said earlier, "But they couldn't have been together before they went out?" Jack questioned looking up at Michael. "He said that she was on her way out when he came home and from the sounds of it there wasn't enough time in between for anything to have happened between them."

"Well he must be lying then," Michael quipped. "Look if we get his DNA on her body then it will be enough for me to charge him and take him into questioning and that's all I need. Once I get him in that station I will crack him, you'll see."

Nikki's eyes caught with Jack's, knowing that they were both thinking the same thing. Sam's friend or not, this was just another detective who wanted a gold star on his badge. Nikki shook her head. She hated when they were like this, it always made trying to find the right evidence even harder. Because they were all usually reluctant to admit that they were wrong and so don't want to spend the extra money to catch the right person. Rather wanting the case to wrap up quickly.

Sam emerged from her office hearing the familiar voice, "What's happened?" She asked as she looked around the room.

"Jack may have caught our suspect in the act," Michael grinned, walking over to her. "I'm glad I'm here actually, can we have a word?"

Sam and Michael walked into her office, Michael closing the door behind him.

"What's this about?" She queried, turning to face him. She could see that he had grown nervous all of a sudden and she instantly recognised that look. She felt her stomach drop to the floor as she took a deep breath but she remained silent, wanting him to squirm and actually say it.

"I was wondering," he paused. He had to word it carefully, he didn't want to scare her off. He had done that too many times in the past. "Sorry. I know this is going to sound a bit forward but there's so much history between us I can't help but feel as though the universe is pulling us together."

Sam beamed, chuckling at his words, "When do you get so philosophical?"

He tried to ignore the fact that her laugh had sent shivers down his spine as he opened his mouth to speak again, "Sam Ryan, do you want to go to dinner with me, tonight," he held his hands up in defence. "It's not a date per say, just a meal between two old friends who want to catch up on lost time."

Sam bit down on her lip as she let him stumble over his words and trying to come up with excuses so that she would be more likely to say yes. Unbeknownst to him, she had already made her mind up by the time he had walked into the room. After her conversation with Nikki earlier she had been toying with the idea of phoning him up anyway.

She glanced down at the floor briefly, her eyes slowly travelling up to meet his, "I'd love to," her lips twitched as she noticed him relax at her answer. Walking over to him she planted her lips on his cheek for a moment before pulling back. "It's a date, as long as your wife doesn't mind."

Michael couldn't hide the smile or the sudden increase in his temperature, he just knew that his cheeks were now a burning red, "Oh right," he stuttered, glancing down at his left hand, the lack of a ring blindingly obvious. "I'll get something organised then and I'll let you know the time and place," he finished, looking back up at Sam.

"Sounds good to me," she grinned, stepping away from him now and moving to perch on the edge of her desk. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, see you later," and then he was disappearing out of the door, his mouth as wide as the Cheshire Cat.

Nikki's eyes had followed him as he left the Lyell, taking note of the man's sudden happiness. A smile gracing her face as she realised what had just happened. She chuckled to herself as her mind turned back to the paperwork she was writing up. Sam deserved a bit of happiness, even if it was with one of those typical detectives. Although Nikki was the last person who could pass judgment given her previous fleeting romances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Romance is blossoming between Michael and Sam. But as more things are revealed about the case, how will Jack cope when Nikki places herself at the centre?


	4. Blast From the Past - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romance is blossoming between Michael and Sam. But as more things are revealed about the case, how will Jack cope when Nikki places herself at the centre?

She laughed as she took a sip of her wine, the corners of her eyes creasing as they connected with Michaels. She had missed this, just the ability to feel free and happy. Sam had loved the intensity of being back at the Lyell but being older and wiser now had come with it's benefits. She now knew that she could take a step back, she didn't have to take her work home with her.

In the days gone past, she would let the cases grind her down. She'd see all the faces in her dreams but now she could just turn up for work, get the job done and go home. It was one of the first things she had noticed after being back there for a couple of weeks. Things weren't getting to her as much as they used to. Of course there was the odd case that would get under her skin, that was inevitable with the job, but it certainly wasn't as bad as it used to be.

That warm feeling in her stomach grew as she continued to gaze over at Michael, why she ever pushed him away all those years ago she'd never understand. She should've stood her ground and been selfish for a change and stop putting other peoples feelings before her own.

She watched as Michael's hand moved across the table, stopping as it reached her own. He carefully turned her hand over, her palm facing the ceiling now as his fingers traced along the lines. The goosebumps erupted all over her skin as the shiver travelled down her spine.

"It's always been you Sam," he breathed, smiling as her lips twitched. "I should never have let you go."

"But you were married," she was quick to put in. "And you had David to think about. I couldn't ask you to walk from either of them, that wouldn't have been fair."

"I just wish that I had been honest with myself and with you, David would've understood," he spoke, his eyes not leaving hers. "He wasn't that young and he knew me and Helen were over long before we even realised it. Look, I didn't come here to talk about my ex-wife. How are you finding it all, being back in London and having to chase down criminals again?"

"Well things have certainly changed since the last time I was here," she started, moving her hand away so she could brush her hair out of her eyes. "And it has taken me a while to settle in and get used to all this new technology after being stuck in an office for so long but it's honestly the best decision I've ever made. I'm beginning to question why I left in the first place."

"Sometimes you need to take a step back from things to realise how much they actually mean to you," he quipped, lifting his own glass to his lips. "And you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder," he winked at her.

Sam could feel her cheeks growing warmer, she had said the same thing to herself when she'd seen him that morning, she raised an eyebrow at him, "It certainly does."

Michael opened his mouth to speak but stopped when he spotted the waitress heading in their direction, the plates of food carefully balanced on her arms. They remained fairly silent as the two of them devoured the meals. Although Sam didn't miss how Michael had kept stealing looks from her at every given opportunity. It had been so long since anyone had looked at her like that. She had given up with relationships in recent years, finding herself unbothered about looking to have someone else in her life. Quite content being by herself.

But sat here, with Michael opposite her, making her legs feel like jelly she was beginning to wonder why she had starved herself of affection for so long. She wiped her finger across the plate, picking up the rest of the chocolate sauce left behind as she gazed over at him. He was pulling the various notes out of his wallet and placing them down on the table. She grabbed hold of her bag that hung on the back of her chair and pulled her own purse out.

"What are you doing?" Michael asked suddenly. Realising what she was doing, he reached out and plucked her purse from her hands. "I am paying, okay?"

"But that's not fair," she retorted, pulling a face. "This place is quite expensive, I can't expect you to pay for it all."

He shook his head at her, rolling his eyes, "Professor Sam Ryan, you're not an uneducated woman," he teased, a smirk slowly spreading across his face as he watched her mouth hang open, ready to spit an insult at him. "Don't you know the rules of a first date?"

She stole her purse back, "Of course I do but this isn't exactly our first date now is it?" She said smugly, retrieving some notes and handing them over to Michael who had just folded his arms. "Take it." She pushed them further into his face.

"No," he replied bluntly. They stayed staring at each other for a few good minutes before Michael sighed and took the money from her, placing into his pocket knowing he was going to have to come up with a way of sneaking it back to her. He pushed his chair back so that he could stand up and the two of them were soon heading out of the restaurant, Michael's hand resting on the small of her back as he guided the two of them down the hallway.

Before they knew it, the pair were pulling up outside Sam's house. She could feel the awkwardness growing, it was the part she always hated. Did she let him go? Or did she invite him inside for a coffee? She mulled over the options for a few moments, it was always a decision she hated having to make but as she looked over at him, his dark brown eyes enticing her she realised that she was far from wanting this 'date' to be over.

"Do you…" she began, almost feeling flustered. She wish she could've shaken herself for acting like such a teenager, her cheeks now feeling very warm. She chuckled as she watched the smile on his face grow, "Do you want to come in?"

"I'd love to," he grinned.

The pair left his car and made their way into Sam's house. Michael followed behind her as she walked through into her kitchen, switching on the kettle as she went past. Sam peeled off her coat, draping it on the back of her chair before setting about making the two of them some coffees. She could feel Michael watching her every move as she spooned the sugar into his mug, remembering how he liked his coffee despite not having made him one for over fifteen years.

Her skin tingled as she felt him come up behind her, his hands smoothing down her arms. He tucked his face into the crook of her neck, his lips connecting with her flesh. Sam's breath hitched, the metal spoon clattering against the china. The idea of coffee escaping her mind as she spun around in his grasp, their faces inches apart. She could feel his breath running along her top lip as she closed the gap between them, her lips crashing into his.

Her hands came to cup his cheeks as his wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her closer as the kiss deepened. Sam could feel herself growing breathless, pulling away from him, her eyes searched his. This had really been a long time coming. Her hand travelled down his body, her fingers wrapping around his hand as she tugged him away, heading in the direction of her bedroom.

Michael remained where he was, his arm now outstretched, he grinned at her, "I'll be up in a minute," he breathed. Sam nodded, unable to hide the redness in her face. But she turned and left the kitchen slowly, feeling his eyes boring into the back of her. Michael smiled as he dug into his pocket. Pulling out the notes he had taken from Sam earlier; he carefully placed them into one of the mugs, chuckling to himself as his feet took off in the same path as Sam's.

* * *

_He stood up, the blood dripping off the tip of the knife as he loomed over her perfect body. Her face peaceful, almost as if she was asleep. He took a deep breath, the tang of metal hanging in the air. He felt alive and on top of the world. He wiped the back of his hand across his face, smearing the scarlet liquid. There was a sense of regret filling his veins as he realised that it had been too soon. He had been too eager. But as he looked down at her slim frame, the ecstasy surging through him, he knew that the time had come. He was never going to get that feeling ever again. The high he had got from plunging the knife into her flesh was like nothing else._

_Now he really knew of the pleasure one could get from taking a life. Looking down at his hands, the blood still bubbling at the tips of his fingers and dropping onto the grass. Lifting his hands he brought them to his lips, running them over his face, painting his lips red. He flicked his tongue out and he could feel the goosebumps erupting all over his skin as the liquid trickled down his throat. He had told him that it would feel like this._

_He wanted to scream from the rooftops, to tell everyone just exactly what he had done. He was proud of this. But he knew this would be the last one. He wasn't going to get another like this. He knew he could get away with it, he didn't doubt that for a second. The detectives were too stupid to even link the others let alone find him now. But he knew the feeling that was pouring through his body right now was never going to be matched._

_He jumped as he heard a siren blazing, the knife had slipped from his hands as he ran as fast as his legs could take him. It wasn't until he had stopped to catch his breath did he realise that the knife had fallen but it was too late. He couldn't go back, not now. He breathed deeply through his nose before he was running again. Running to his apartment._

_Once inside, he didn't make any hesitations. Ripping his clothes off as he walked up the stairs, he pulled apart the razor and ran the bath. Kneeling down, he watched as the water rose, threatening to spill over the top; the steam rising to the ceiling. His finger danced along the surface before switching the taps off._

_Standing up once again, he let all the air escape his lungs as he slipped one foot into the scorching water. He clenched his teeth together. It was like someone was poking a million needles into his feet. But he powered through the pain as he lowered himself into the water, his whole body submerged bar his head. He let the heat penetrate his skin for a few minutes, waiting for the bead of sweat to dribble down his forehead. He gazed at his hand, tightening his grip on the blade. The last thing he seen was his face, staring at him._

* * *

It had been a few days since that first murder had been thrust upon them and since Michael and Sam had been on their 'first' date. They hadn't gotten very far in their findings and the case Michael had been trying to build up against Frankie's boyfriend Paul was being knocked down very quickly. Even more so when the DNA results came back and they had found that the last person Frankie had sex with hadn't been Paul and what was making things even worse, nobody could seem to find this 'Katie' that Paul had mentioned.

It was looking more and more likely that whoever this person was that Frankie had gone to meet, they may have been the one who killed her. But none of them knew where they would start with that and given that the DNA they found wasn't on any database, it was making the task even more difficult.

Sam was being shaken awake, jolting her eyes open they were met by Michael's staring down at her, "What's happened?" She asked, her voice hoarse. She could see the panic in his face and she knew instantly that something was wrong.

"They've found another body," he breathed, standing up and taking a step back as he watched Sam getting out of bed. "They think it might be linked to the other one but they can't be sure. We need to get down there as soon as possible, I'll meet you there yeah?"

Sam nodded, "Just text me the address, I'll be as quick as I can," she was already pulling out all the clothes from her wardrobe, not worrying too much about what she was going to wear so long as it was warm. Michael quickly planted his lips on her cheek before he was disappearing downstairs.

Sam let out a breath as she caught sight of herself in the mirror, her hair sticking up everywhere. She did her best to smooth everything down which didn't do much but made it look less like she had just rolled out of bed. Hooking her bag around her and fishing her car keys out of her bag she made her way to the crime scene.

She was met by Jack, Nikki and Evan as she got there. Jack and Evan reviewing the scene whilst Nikki was taking pictures of the body. Straight away Sam knew that this was completely different to the previous one and she was beginning to wonder how the hell they were linking these two murders. She bent down, her face now level with Nikki's as her eyes looked up and down the woman's body, all bloodied and bruised.

"How are they linked?" She questioned, looking directly at Nikki.

Nikki shrugged her shoulders, "She looks like Frankie. The park is a five minute walk from the train station it's not _unlikely_ , is it?" She answered, she knew that they would probably find more similarities when they did the post mortem. But as of right now, everything was just supposition.

Sam nodded slowly, knowing that Nikki was having her doubts as well. This woman had been brutally murdered, Sam could see that. The sheer amount of stab wounds showed the passion behind it. Frankie's murder had been thought out, meticulously executed. They had gone to the effort of making it look as though she had taken her own life. This was a different MO. No attempt was made to cover this one up.

"Has a knife been found?" She spoke into the air in the hopes that someone who would know the answer would speak.

It seemed as though it was Jack who took on that role as he walked over to her, "Nothing as of yet but I have noticed that there is some flattened grass just over in that direction," Jack pointed in the distance, Sam's eyes following his finger. "If the killer went that way in a hurry, it's likely that we'll find the knife. He may have left a blood trail as well."

"Well I should've thought so considering the volume of blood around the body," she commented, turning back to the woman. She looked young as well, probably the same age as Frankie. In a way she hoped they were linked because at least then, if they found the murderer behind all of this, these young women would be safe. "Any ID this time?"

"Yes," Nikki interrupted. "Her name's Melanie Wilson, twenty-three."

Sam sighed, only a year older than Frankie. Coming to terms with death was always the hardest part of this job. Shaking the thoughts away, her and Nikki continued with the examination whilst Jack and Evan disappeared in search of the knife. Nothing had been found by the time that Sam and Nikki had finished so they left the two of them to it as they headed back to the Lyell.

As they arrived back at the Lyell, Nikki was being called away again. They had found a body of a young male in his apartment. _Suicide._ Nikki made her goodbyes and quickly left Sam to it as she made her way to the apartment.

When she got there, she couldn't help but think about how close this was to the scene she had been at not half an hour ago. Her eyebrows furrowed over that thought, it wasn't uncommon to have more than one death in an area but they were never usually this close in timeframe without being linked. Shaking her head, she parked up outside and retrieved her silver case from the boot and zipped up her white SOCO suit.

She greeted the police officers as she passed under the tape and made her way up the stairs. Her eyes quick to spot the drops of blood on the carpet along with some clothes that had been strewn across the floor. From what she had been told so far, it was more than likely going to be his own blood. And as she rounded the corner into the bathroom her suspicions were confirmed. She gulped as she took in the sight, his pale body slumped in the water. The blood painting the room a bright red.

She passed the threshold into the room, her eyes scanning over every inch. She had no doubt that this man had taken his own life. She had seen this type of scene one too many times and there was nothing so far to suggest otherwise. She picked up his arms, checking the wounds, the one on his left being deep and straight, the one on his right much messier. But she could see that he had used all of his might to break through into the skin.

"Do we have a name for him?" She asked the constable as she looked up at him.

"Yes, Matthew Sullivan, aged thirty-one," he replied before leaving the room again, his face tinging a light green colour.

Nikki nodded, taking in the information before continuing. His body was still warm to the touch but that was no surprise given that his body had been submerged in the water for so long. And given how his skin was pink with burns she had guessed that he had wanted to torture himself further by letting the heat attack him first.

She sighed, wondering what drove someone to do something like this. She had never understood it, she had been in so many dark places in her head but suicide was never an option for her. Despite all the things she had been through, she had still come to appreciate life and how precious it is. Seeing people being ripped away from opportunities and seeing families torn by grief on a daily basis was enough to think against it.

Her eyes glanced over at the man, his own eyes still open as they stared back at her. She could feel the shiver crawl down her spine, his whole body lifeless and with no soul. She thought about what may have happened had someone caught him at the right time, saved him from this. From himself. She could almost feel the lump forming in her throat. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and focused her mind as she continued with her assessment.

* * *

Sam was well underway with the post mortem back at the Lyell, Michael in the observation room watching her. She hadn't heard anything back from Jack as of yet so she assumed that he hadn't found anything. She inspected every wound carefully, measuring the depth of each one. All fifteen of them were consistent with each other so she had no doubts that they were caused by the same knife. But as she reached the last one, she felt the metal rod clash against something.

Picking up the tweezers from her trolley, she fished inside the wound, retrieving a shard of metal. Turning to face Michael and holding her hand out for him to see, "The tip of the knife," she spoke. "I need to get on the phone to Jack, let him know what to look out for." She passed the piece of evidence over to the technician who placed it into a tray.

She pulled off her gloves as she walked over to the phone and dialled Jack's number from the piece of paper that sat on the counter. The dial tone rang twice before she heard him on the other end, "Boss, what's happened?" Jack answered, Sam could hear that he was short of breath and she was beginning to wonder what _he_ had been doing.

"We've found the tip of the blade," she began. "It looks to be flat so now you have some idea of what to be looking for."

Jack almost chuckled as he looked down at the evidence bag he was clutching in his hands, "Don't think we'll need to worry about that now," he breathed, passing the bag over to Evan who was placing it carefully into the case. "We'll be there in about ten minutes."

Sam put the phone down before moving back to the body and continuing the post mortem. Thoughts of Frankie came to her mind as her eyes scanned the girl's arms. There were no signs of previous self-inflicted wounds but something did catch her attention. There was a carving, almost looked like a star, etched into the inside of her upper arm. Lifting it up so she could have a closer look she called for the technician to take a photograph, "There's a mark on her arm," she pointed out. "It could be nothing, possibly just some trend going around. But it would be worth checking to see if there were any markings on Frankie, see if anything's been missed."

Michael listened carefully, quite surprised to hear Sam admitting that she may have done something wrong. It made him realise that although she wasn't unlike her past self she had changed, grown. Before she would be so stubborn and would never admit defeat. But now here she was, happy to criticise her own work. He felt a sense of pride washing over him as he gazed at the woman in front of him, his heart rate picking up.

She stopped as she reached the woman's fingers, spotting the skin embedded under the nails. Reaching for the swab she swiped it, collecting the evidence before handing it over to the technician for analysis.

Sam was soon finishing up on the post mortem, not finding much else. Like Frankie, Melanie had been physically in good shape. She had taken the necessary tests for toxicology and then she was heading back to the changing room.

Nikki sighed as she punched the numbers into the device on the wall, her card was buried somewhere in her bag and she wasn't really in the mood for digging around. She waited for the door to click before pushing her way in and rounding the corner to her desk. She looked over her shoulder to find Jack sat in the lab, his focus completely taken up by whatever was in front of him. She watched him for a moment, his mind tuned into this one thing. She felt the flutter in her stomach as he looked over at her, their eyes connecting.

She hadn't spoken to him about her and Evan's conversation the other day. All of them being too wrapped in this case to take the time to pull him aside and check in on him. Her lips twitched as she peeled her coat off and draped it on the back of her chair. She crossed the hall and joined him, her eyes drawn to the knife that lay in front of him, the tip missing.

"Is that the murder weapon?" She asked, walking around him before leaning her elbows on the counter, their shoulders pressed together.

Jack nodded, reaching out to grab the dish and passing it to Nikki, "And that is the tip Sam found in one of the wounds," he explained. "I'm just trying to see if we can lift anything from this."

Nikki took a deep breath as she placed the dish back down. She could feel the air growing thick around them as she remained silent, milling over the right words to use. She could never judge Jack sometimes, she had known him for so long but she knew he had a short temper and the littlest of things would upset him. He'd never take it out on her of course, but if she had been the cause of his outburst then it would just play on her mind for the rest of the day.

She could feel Jack's eyes on her, his mind elsewhere other than the knife sat on the table. Nikki blinked slowly before turning to face him, her breath hitching as she realised just how close they had been. She suddenly stood up straight, putting that little bit of distance between them but his eyes still followed her as she looked down at him.

"Evan told me what happened the other day," she barely got out. Her throat felt tight. She had never been like this with him before, she'd always been able to say whatever she wanted without fear. But things were different between them now. Ever since Mexico. Ever since what happened. She knew that she had been so close to admitting that one thing she had always wanted to tell him the other week but she still couldn't find the confidence to bring it up again. The conversation never calling for it.

Her mind had played over the three words ever since they fell from Jack's mouth all those months ago. She hadn't been able to get it off her mind and she was beginning to wonder if he could even remember saying it in the first place. Or if he was just doing that typical Jack thing and pretending as though it never happened.

"He said that you had pinned the man down onto the table," she continued as Jack stayed quiet, his eyes searching hers. "That you had lost your temper. I think you scared him."

Jack dropped his head, breaking that contact. His thoughts raced, he should've known that Evan would say something. He couldn't blame the kid though, really he was doing the right thing and what he thought was for the best. But now that meant an interrogation from Nikki that he could do without. The other day had just been a blip, a fraction in time where he allowed his thoughts about everything from the past couple of years to fill his brain. He didn't mean for it to happen but it did and he didn't cope with it very well. But now he had time to compress everything again, he was doing better.

But having Nikki stood next to him now, her brown eyes soft and caring, he could feel himself cracking. The emotions seeping out. He swallowed the lump in his throat as his vision blurred, "I lost myself in the moment," he sighed. "The guy was winding me up and I wasn't having the best morning and it just happened."

"Oh Jack," she breathed, fighting against the temptation to cup his face with her hands. She could see the tears sitting in his eyes and she was desperate to close that gap, to pull him into her arms and comfort him for a change. He had always been the one to hold her when she was crying, when she was distraught. And now, it was her turn to return the favour. But she couldn't. She was scared of what might happen if she did. "Was it about Thomas?"

"No," he shook his head. "Well yes and no."

"Jack just talk to me," she spoke, her voice firm. "Let me in. If anyone's going to understand what's going on and how you're feeling it's going to be me. After everything in…" she trailed off, not wanting to dig all that up again. Not after the last time they had spoken about it.

Jack took a deep breath, feigning a smile as he straightened his back, "It's nothing, I'm fine," he lied. Nikki watched as his head turned away from her. Her hand had moved before her mind had time to catch up. Her fingers wrapped around his hand, her thumb grazing across his skin. She could feel the blood rushing to her head as his eyes caught hers again and his hand tightened around hers.

She had opened her mouth to say something, anything. But nothing came out, her mind completely blank and her feet now glued to the floor. She jumped as she heard a voice interrupting them, Nikki retreating her hand straight away and holding it against her side.

"Sorry, again," Evan let out, holding his hands up as he watched the pair in front of them exchanging awkward looks. He always had rubbish timing and he was cursing himself for walking in on whatever it was that was going on between them. He shook his head as he tried to remember just what exactly it was he had come in there for in the first place. He squinted his eyes as he looked over at Nikki and then it suddenly all came back. "Nikki, they wanted to let you know that the mortuary is ready for you," he pointed behind him. He could feel his cheeks growing a bright shade of pink as he headed out of the room, wanting to get away as quickly as possible.

Nikki gulped as she stared down at Jack, he was broken. She could see that. She could see that he was desperate to talk, to tell her how he was really feeling. But he couldn't find it within himself to admit defeat, to admit that he needed help. Nikki had known that all too well, it had taken her years to come to terms with the fact that there were some things you just can't deal with on your own.

She wanted to reach out and hold him but she couldn't. She smoothed her hands down her legs before stepping back and heading down the hallway that lead to the mortuary. She had tried her best to shake the thoughts of Jack out of her mind so that she could concentrate on the upcoming post mortem but she was struggling. She didn't want to see Jack going through what she had gone through, she had known how it felt and she wouldn't wish it upon anyone. She wanted to be there for him in anyway she possibly could.

She quickly got changed and before she knew it she was stepping foot into the mortuary. The body lying on the slab ready for her assessment. She glanced briefly up at the constable whom she had met previously at the scene.

She began by taking photos, documenting everything before she were to have to clean away the blood in order to get a closer look at the wounds. As she wiped away the blood on the left arm she spotted a small marking just at the top of the incision. It was a star. She pulled her eyebrows together in confusion but still took a photograph. It was very recent, more than likely made not long before he had taken his own life. The thought that it could've been made after did pop into her head for a moment, but that was something that was always so hard to gauge. Even harder considering how the body was found.

Nikki doubted how much relevancy it would have but still chose to make a point of it on the off chance that it would have some other-worldly meaning. She had to stop herself from calling Clarissa's name out, she knew that the woman would have the perfect answer to this one. Always full of random facts and knowledge. Nikki supposed that she would have to find the answer for herself but she had no idea of where to begin.

Not dwelling on the marking too much she continued the investigation. The external examination finding only small scratches on his arms. They looked recent as well but it was hard to get a clear idea as a result of the burns from the boiling water. She took photos regardless before starting the internal examination. She manoeuvred her way around each organ, taking note of the fact that the constable had left the room. She looked over at Evan who would had also been watching, indicating that he should go make the man a cup of tea to settle his stomach.

She carried on despite the lack of audience. As she reached the brain she could instantly see the problem and as she inspected further her suspicions had been confirmed. And just in time apparently as the constable returned, looking somewhat perkier.

"He had a small tumour in his frontal lobe," she stated. "Might account for a change in his behaviour. May be the reason he took his life. Do we have his hospital records?"

The constable shook his head, "No but I can get them for you if you like?"

Nikki nodded, "Please, it might be useful to know if he was aware of his condition," she smiled politely. "Apart from that I am one hundred percent sure that this man took his own life. Are there any family or friends who could formally ID him?"

"No," he replied. "From what we can gather from the neighbours, the guy was a bit of a loner. He would have the odd girl around every couple of months but that was about it. He lived on his own and minded his own business."

"Poor guy," Nikki sighed, looking down at him. "To die and have no one miss you."

* * *

It had been a couple of hours since both Nikki and Sam had performed their respective post mortems and the two women were currently in the midst of writing up their reports and waiting for all the necessary test results to come rolling in their way. Nikki yawned, leaning back in her chair as she raised her hands above her head. Her eyes landing on the empty desk opposite her, she hadn't seen him for hours. Not since their last conversation.

He had disappeared when she came out of the post mortem and she didn't need to think twice about where he might've been. She had debated on ringing him, to find out if that was really where he was but she also knew that when he was like this, it was best just to leave him to work it out of his system. She wished she could shake him and tell him that that wasn't the only option, he could just talk to her. But she knew if he wanted to talk then he would.

Her legs were starting to feel tired and she knew she needed to stretch them. Pushing herself backwards she stood up and headed towards Sam's office, poking her head through the doorway.

"Cup of coffee?" She asked, smiling as she spotted the familiar look on the older woman's face, knowing that her own face was carrying a similar expression.

Sam's lips twitched as she nodded her head, she certainly needed some sort of boost to get her through the next couple of hours and it seemed as though great minds think alike as she was just about to do the same. She let her fingers rest from all the typing as she ran her hands over her face. Pulling her sleeve up, her eyes widened as she noticed the time, _had it really been that long?_

It was only a few minutes later and Nikki was returning with two cups of coffee. Walking in, Nikki placed Sam's down in front of her whilst she settled down in one of the chairs opposite from Sam's desk. She took a sip from her mug, her eyebrows furrowing as she caught sight of one of the photos spread out on the table. She laid her mug down as she reached over and picked up the photo to look at it more closely.

"How have you got this?" She asked, recognising the star that had been drawn into the skin.

"What do you mean?" Sam retorted, now very confused.

Nikki looked up at Sam, the earlier thought about how it had been so strange having the two crime scenes being so close together filling her mind again, "I found the same markings on Matthew Sullivan, the suicide this morning," Nikki explained as she stood up and ran to her own desk. Shuffling through the various pictures, she found the one she was looking for and rushed back to Sam, slamming them down on the desk. "I knew it couldn't have been a coincidence that they were so close together, not just in location but in time as well."

Sam eyes flicked between the two photos, the markings were identical, "We need to check Frankie's body. See if she's got the same markings. Do you think this Matthew may have been murdered by the same person who murdered the other two?"

Nikki shrugged her shoulders as she folded her arms, "It's possible but he's completely different to the others. He's male, he's older. How would he have become a target?"

"Do you have any doubts that it was anything but a suicide?" Sam pushed.

Nikki shook her head, "No," she placed her hand against her forehead as she moved around the room. "This doesn't make sense. With Frankie, the scene was set up to look like a suicide. The drugs in her body, throwing herself in front of the train. Even went to the effort of making it look as though she had slipped down the embankment. Then with Melanie, it was cold and calculated. They had wanted it to look like a murder, no care was taken, the knife was dropped a few kilometres away. And now this Matthew, there were no signs at all to suggest anything other than a suicide. How can you be so up and down? Strategic one minute, frenzied the next and then returning back to this sense of calm."

"But that was just how the bodies were found," Sam pointed out. "When did you place time of death?"

"It's hard to be accurate because he was submerged in the water for so long but at an estimate I would say between nine o'clock in the evening and three o'clock in the morning," she answered.

Sam digested the information, looking down at her notes, "I placed time of death between ten and twelve. So it's possible that the person may have killed Matthew first and then Melanie," she suggested.

Nikki thought over it for a moment, the theories clicking into place as she caught on to Sam's wavelength, "So if this person murders Matthew, Melanie walks in and encounters the scene. She's scared, she runs away. He catches her and murders her, leaves the same way they came and drops the knife. This attack is frenzied because it isn't planned, he didn't expect to kill her," Nikki moves to sit down in the chair again. "If someone had killed him, that might explain why I found blood on the carpet. There were drops of blood on the stairs and across the hallway. I took some samples for analysis so we should be getting those back soon."

"In the meantime," Sam interrupted, placing her hands on her desk and standing up. "We should take a look at Frankie's body and check to see if she too had the same markings on her."

Nikki followed behind Sam as the pair of them headed back to the mortuary. The technician helped retrieve Frankie's body from the fridge and pulled the zip down, revealing the woman's lifeless body. Sam started forensically checking her arms whilst Nikki watched. She sighed, _nothing._ But she wasn't about to give up so she continued. She suddenly felt as though someone had squeezed all the air out of her lungs as she spotted it.

It was tiny, very easy to brush over but it was still there. And now it was sticking out like a sore thumb. Pulling the phone out of her back pocket, Nikki took a photo as Sam held the hair back, the star marked into the woman's skin just behind her ear.

"That's the link," Sam let out. "These three people were killed by the same person."

They quickly put the body back, Nikki emailing the photo over to Sam. They were back in the office and Sam had just picked up the phone to call DCI Connor to let him know of this latest development.

"I'm going to see if I can rush those samples from the carpet," Nikki chirped before heading back to her own desk and ringing through to the lab. They answered pretty quickly, shocking Nikki. "Hi, it's Nikki Alexander, I was wondering if I could chase up those results from the Sullivan case."

She listened as the person on the other end responded, almost feeling something bubbling up inside her, "What do you mean they've lost them? How am I meant to get anything done around here when your team are too incompetent to get one thing done," she spat, she glanced up to see Jack walking into the room, a cut above his eyebrow.

He eyed Nikki as she perched on the edge of her desk, her face screwed up and he just knew that he walked in at the wrong time.

"Well, I'm going to head down to the scene again and collect some fresh samples," she started. "When I send these ones off, I expect them to be a priority. This could be a key piece of evidence in a murder enquiry after all."

She slammed the phone down so hard, Jack was surprised it didn't smash into a million pieces. It wasn't often that he seen Nikki like this, even at all if he was being honest. She very rarely lost her temper, he was usually the one for the outbursts so he was quite taken aback to see her in this state. Nikki moved, yanking her coat off the back of her chair.

"Are you coming?" She asked as she glared at Jack who she knew had been watching her again.

"Okay," was all Jack could reply with, he didn't know how to deal with her when she was like this but from his experience of women he knew that it was probably best to remain quiet. "Are you going to tell me what's happened?" He questioned as he pulled the seatbelt over him in her car.

Nikki sighed as she started up the car, "Sam and I found these markings on Frankie, Melanie and Matthew. All of them in different places but the same marking," she explained.

"So you think they may have been killed by the same person?" Jack interrupted.

"Yes," Nikki continued. "I went to go chase the results of the blood I found on the carpet in his apartment but they seemed to have lost them. Sam and I were trying to paint some kind of a picture of what may have happened. I couldn't understand why Melanie had been found in a completely different state to that of Matthew and Frankie. The attack on Melanie was brutal but with Matthew and Frankie, it was thought through. Care was taken to make them look like a suicide."

Jack nodded slowly, trying to make sense of it, "Right," he let out as he thought over it. Trying to see it from Nikki's perspective. "Are you thinking that Matthew might have been murdered first and Melanie saw something she shouldn't have?"

"Exactly," Nikki confirmed as she rounded the corner onto Matthew's street. As she parked up and left the car, Jack trailed behind her making their way into his apartment. Nikki didn't say much, knowing exactly where she was headed and what she needed to do.

But Jack hung back for a moment, his forensic brain switching on as he looked around the apartment. He rounded the corner into what looked like the man's room. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, or was striking him as of yet. But his face screwed up as he spotted that the wardrobe door was ajar. Pulling the spare gloves out of his pocket, he slipped them on and opened the door.

"Shit," fell from his mouth as spotted the broken laptop in pieces at the bottom. "Nikki," he called out.

"What is it?" She queried, walking into the room and edging closer to Jack who was now picking up what was left of the laptop. "Why would he have a broken laptop?" Now she was really confused, nothing about this situation made any sense. "Do you think you'll be able to recover anything from it?"

Jack blew his cheeks out, "I don't know," he shook his head. "If the hard drive isn't too damaged we might be able to pick up something. Max has taught me a few things over the years so I'll see what I can do. Have you got those samples again?"

Nikki nodded, not hesitating to get back to the Lyell and start all the tests so they could make sense of whatever the hell was going on.

It was a couple of hours later, both Sam and Evan had gone home but Jack and Nikki stayed. Nikki wanted to be there for when the results came in and Jack had been slaving away trying to recover some data from the laptop. He had toyed with the idea of phoning Max but he knew he would receive some comment from Clarissa about how he wasn't able to cope without her. And he knew that she would mean no harm in that but it would be a harsh reminder of the fact he wasn't coping without her.

He had missed her in ways he never thought he would. She had been this huge person in his life, his rock. Someone he could turn to no matter what. And now she was gone, admittedly not that far away. And if he really wanted to see her he could just drive to her house. But it wasn't the same as to when she was at work and just there for when he had moments like this. He knew he shouldn't rely on people as much as he did but Clarissa was his best friend and that one person who could make him smile no matter what was going on around him.

He looked over at Nikki, sat at her desk and staring at her screen. _Why was it always them? The ones who couldn't just let things be._ They didn't need to be here, they could wait until tomorrow to get everything, but that stubborn streak that was inherent in both of them always shone through during cases like this.

Jack was beginning to grow frustrated with the laptop now and he could almost hear his bed calling his name. It wasn't in his nature to give up but he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He started to pack all the stuff away when he heard her speak. Glancing up he could see that she was making her way over to him.

"When were you going to tell me that you had started all that again?" She asked, pointing to the cut above his eyebrow. Jack just stared back at her, unable to find the words. "I wish you wouldn't. I wish you would just talk to me instead of beating yourself up about everything."

Jack took a breath, shrugging his shoulders slightly, "It's just my way of coping with things. You of all people should know that."

"But it scares me," she let out. "It scares me because one wrong punch and that could be it. All that because you felt guilty about something you couldn't control," she dared. She knew that she would hit a nerve. She was giving a voice to his worries and she knew exactly how he was going to react but she needed to get it out in the open. She needed him to know how much she truly cared about him.

He felt his back straightening as the defensiveness kicked in, "Well it's my guilt Nikki and I'll do what I want with it," he quipped standing up and grabbing his bag. He pushed past her, only stopping when he felt her hand on his arm.

"Jack please," she begged.

"You can't fix me Nikki. I know you like to think that you can but you can't," he spat. He could feel the anger flowing around his body now, the lack of sleep getting to him. He took a step back from her, her arm dropping. "I'm not one of your little projects that you use to make yourself feel better. I mean, I don't even know why you do it. Have you ever considered that some people don't want to be fixed?"

Nikki's lips parted slightly, not quite believing what was coming out of his mouth. The tears slipping down her cheeks as she stared back at him. She had nothing to say back, she wanted to hit him, to push him away. He had never been like this with her, not even after Mexico. She had expected a reaction when she brought the topic up but she never expected him to stoop that low.

"I'm going home," Jack breathed, turning and making his way out of the entrance.

She felt as though her heart had broken in two as she watched him walk away. Although she didn't have too long to think about it as the phone was ringing. She swiped the back of her hand across her face, removing the streaks as she picked up the phone and placed it to her ear.

"Dr Nikki Alexander," she sighed, doing her best not to let the sobs escape. It was the test results, she noted down all the information before giving her thanks and putting the phone down again. She could feel herself letting go. She cried, for what felt like the millionth time that year.

As Jack got outside and the cold air hit him, he felt nothing but regret. He knew he shouldn't have said it and he urged his body to turn around and find her. Tell her that he was sorry and that he knew exactly why she was so hell bent on protecting everyone around her and going out of her way to better the lives of the countless children who had lost everything. He knew what it had boiled down to even if she never chose to speak about it.

He shook his head, wanting to kick himself for being an idiot but he continued on his path towards the car. Knowing that it was pointless trying to win Nikki back now, he needed to let her calm down first.

* * *

It was the next day and the tension between Jack and Nikki had been picked up on straight away. The frostiness between the pair painfully obvious as Evan had turned up that morning, he had caught wind of one of the glares Nikki was giving Jack. And now his mind was racing over what had transpired between the two considering they had been perfectly fine yesterday.

Gathering up her evidence, Nikki walked into Sam's office, making a point of catching Jack's eye and looking away as she passed, "I got the results back on the blood test last night," she announced, edging into the room. "The blood belongs to Melanie."

Sam's face screwed up, "But that can't be right," she looked down at the pieces of paper Nikki had handed to her. "Unless he had caught her as she was leaving but there were no signs of that. All the wounds I found on her body were relatively the same depth."

"And if she was bleeding when she was at the apartment, I would expect to see a lot more blood," Nikki pointed out.

"There were no other signs of a struggle either," Sam ran her hands through her hair as she wracked her brains. "Apart from the skin under the fingernails."

"Wait, you didn't mention that?" Nikki tilted her head, a puzzled look on her face before she disappeared. She returned not a minute later, carrying photos from the post mortem of Matthew Sullivan. "I found defence wounds on Matthew."

"But that would suggest that _he_ killed Melanie," Sam felt as though her head was going to explode. She was about to continue her point when Jack interrupted them, leaning on the doorframe. She didn't miss how he was expertly avoiding Nikki's eye however and if weren't for the fact that this case had suddenly become more pressing she would've knocked their heads together.

"The results have come back from the skin you found under her fingernails," he started. "They match the DNA I found on the knife. However, they don't match the DNA found on Frankie's body."

Nikki's head flicked between Sam and Jack, "So if we're now saying that Matthew killed Melanie, then his DNA should match those results right?" She waited for someone to nod before she continued. "So who's DNA is on Frankie's body?"

"There has to be a third person," Sam spoke. "Any luck with that laptop?"

Jack shook his head, "Just give me another hour and I might be able to get something," and with that he disappeared.

Nikki bit down on the inside of her cheek, trying to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes. The anger she had felt last night had not dissipated in the slightest, if anything she was feeling even worse and she just wanted to scream. It was so unlike Jack to be this cold. Something was wrong and she just wished that he would stop pushing her away.

Sam's eyes connected with Nikki's, "Is everything okay between you two?" She asked.

Nikki did her best to plaster a smile on her face, "Peachy," was all she could come up with before she too was leaving the room. Although she didn't stop to sit at her desk, she continued past them, making her way to the observation room, wanting a quiet moment to herself. Away from everyone else.

After what felt like a lifetime Jack finally managed to recover most of the data from the hard drive. He felt the relief washing over him as he looked through the history. He stumbled across what looked to be some kind of messaging website. He felt his heart dropping as the various messages and pictures started popping up.

"Sam," he shouted. "You might want to see this."

* * *

"So, go over this again," DCI Connor chirped, his face full of confusion just like everyone else's.

Jack was leaning against the wall next to the board that was displaying the messages he found between Matthew and another person who was going under the alias of 'thevulture.'

"Matthew for the past couple of months has been messaging this person on a website people use to make friends and speak to people," Jack explained. "There was nothing interesting in the first couple of weeks but slowly this guy starts sharing things. He openly admits to killing people and he explicitly explains the feeling of it all. From what I could gather from the messages, Matthew's mother had died not long before he started messaging this person."

"And as we know, he was diagnosed with a brain tumour around that time," Nikki piped up. "He obviously was in a vulnerable place and this person took advantage of that."

DCI Connor's eyes moved between Jack, Nikki and the screen, "So this person killed Frankie and then somehow managed to persuade Matthew to kill Melanie," he said slowly, trying to make sense of it. "But what about Matthew? Dr Alexander, you said that you were sure he had killed himself, there were no other signs that someone else was involved."

"When we read further into the messages," Jack interrupted, not giving Nikki the chance to answer. "This person explains to Matthew that once he kills someone and gets that feeling then there is no point in being alive, because you'll never get that feeling again. I think this person made Matthew murder Melanie and then kill himself."

"And the marks?"

"His way of leaving a stamp I suppose," Sam suggested.

"Is it possible that he made that same mark on Matthew? That he was there when Matthew killed himself?" Michael asked.

"It's possible," Nikki picked up the photo of the star left on Matthew's arm. "It's hard to tell because the body was left in the water for so long but if that is what this person leaves behind. A kind of symbol, then he could've done the same with Matthew. It could've been done post mortem but very shortly after."

"So how do we find this person?" Michael looked at the faces around the room, in the hopes that someone would have some kind of idea of tracking them down.

Nikki stood up, walking over to the board and scrolling all the way to the first messages shared between this person and Matthew, "We know that Matthew reached out first, he sent the initial message," she could feel herself growing breathless, knowing that this probably wasn't going to be the best idea but they didn't exactly have very many options. "I think it might be worth trying to reach out to him."

Jack scoffed, shaking his head at her, "You can't be serious," he was glaring at her now. "Nikki that's such a stupid idea, do you realise the danger of that?"

"Come on Jack," Michael interrupted but Jack didn't take his eyes off Nikki. "I don't see why we can't do it and there's not really any other way of doing this."

Jack huffed, standing up and heading out of the room. Nikki watched him, fighting against the temptation to run after him and really have it out with him. There was a time and a place for that and now wasn't it.

He hated when him and Nikki were like this and he knew it was his fault. And he knew that he could just apologise and things would be okay again but she was as stubborn as he was. And he knew he wouldn't be able to get through to her.

"So, where do we start?" Michael queried as he glanced over at Nikki back in the observation room.

* * *

The police department had spent the past couple of days messaging back and forth with this person and they had seemed to be doing a good job. Eventually leading them to today, where they were finally going to meet up with the person. Unfortunately that had come at the cost of Nikki. She had volunteered herself out of spite; to piss Jack off. She knew it was a stupid idea to bait herself like she was but she was also prepared to do anything to get this man put away for good. To get this case over and done with. It was also to prove Jack wrong, that she could do this and she could catch the killer.

She had considered that she would just be proving him right however. How this was just another one of her 'projects' - as he had so aptly put it. But this wasn't a project, this was her job. The people who got caught up in the middle were part of her job as well. That didn't mean there wasn't any truth in what he had said however. She knew deep down she could be overbearing in her need to fix everyone but she had her reasons and he should understand that. Out of everyone in her life, he should understand that the most.

They hadn't spoken to each other at all, the tension growing even more between them as the days had passed. That didn't stop Jack from going along with them however, he may not have been on the best terms with her but he was not about to leave her stranded with a murderer.

She let out a breath as she sat on the bench in the park, she knew she wasn't alone. She knew that the police had strategically placed themselves around the area. She knew that Jack was lurking somewhere with them. But she couldn't help the panic that was rising up her throat. Her hands were shaking as she adjusted the microphone they had strapped to her. She was now starting to regret suggesting this in the first place.

All the air left her lungs as the person sat down next to her, "Are you Clare?" He asked to which Nikki nodded, doing her best to smile and not look so nervous. He stuck his hand out to shake hers, "I'm Owen. Do you want to walk?"

"Sure," she spoke, standing up and letting him guide the way as they headed down the pathway.

He stayed quiet as they walked and Nikki could feel her heart pounding out of her chest. It had felt like a lifetime as they continued, the trees closing in around them as the path came to an end. Nikki was glancing around her, praying that they were still close, still watching them.

"What are you looking for Nikki?"

Nikki tried to take a step back as he heard her name coming out of his mouth but he had already grabbed hold of her. His fingers digging into her skin as he twisted her arm. She let out a scream as his free arm closed around her neck. She clawed at his arm trying to fight him off but she could see the black spots forming. She hadn't even realised who she had been calling out for her until she seen his dark figure in the distance, approaching them.

Jack had heard her screams and that was enough for him, he was running as fast as his legs could take him. As he saw the two, the man's arm held around Nikki's neck, it was like something had snapped. Just like it had in those months after Mexico, when they had gone to chase down the suspect. When he had lost all sense and had pounded his fists into the man. It was just like the other day, when he lost his temper with the man. And it was just like the times he had stepped into the cage, when he'd let himself be pushed around and beaten up. When he'd let himself suffer for all the things he had done to people.

Everything that had happened between himself and Nikki had quickly disappeared as he lurched forward pushing the man to the floor. What had happened didn't matter now, all that mattered was that Nikki was safe and no more harm was coming to her. He could worry about the rest of it later on. The man had swiftly let go of Nikki, the blow from Jack taking him by surprise.

The police officers had caught up before Jack had the chance to really lay into him. Jack stood there watching as the officers cuffed him, his chest rising and falling. And then he heard her voice, trying to reassure DCI Connor that she was fine and Jack was turning to her. His heart sinking as he caught sight of her, her face full of fear. He hated the fact that he seen her like this before. Scared, frightened and broken. He hated that he had done this to her. If they never argued then she wouldn't have been so stubborn as to go out and do this in the first place. It was another thing on top of a long list of things that were his fault.

He was by her side instantly, his hands cupping her cheeks as he pulled her into his chest, "I'm so sorry Nikki," he spoke softly, closing his eyes as he felt her hands grabbing at him, trying to bring him closer to her. The feeling of her clawing at him, reminding him of the moment they had found each other in Mexico. When he finally had her in front of him and she wasn't just a voice on the phone. He tried to block out those memories, he had been trying for years. Because they hurt too much. Because he knew what they could've been but he let her slip away. He pushed her away.

She couldn't stop the sobs that escaped her now. Jack held onto her as tightly as he could, all the words spoken between the two of them forgotten about. He waited until she was ready and then he was lifting her up from the floor. He wrapped his arm around her, keeping her close to his side as they made their way back to the car and back to the Lyell.

He settled down next to her on one of the sofas in Sam's office, his arm never leaving her shoulder and her hand not moving from his chest as she played with the button on his shirt. Sam had left the two of them to it, knowing that they needed to sort out whatever had happened between them.

She only interrupted them to let them know that they had charged this Owen and that he had admitted to everything. Including all the murders he had committed long before Frankie, which meant that Sam was now going to have to look into all these different cases and double check over them. But she reassured Nikki that that was going to be a problem for another day and that she should just focus on herself.

Sam left them in her office, a smile growing across her face as she spotted Michael heading towards her. He slipped his arm around her waist, their lips connecting briefly.

"Well this is a nice surprise," she grinned.

"It wasn't you I came to see actually," he replied, his arm moving from around her as he looked over her shoulder, spotting the two people he had been after. "I wanted to see if Nikki was okay and to say thank you for everything she's done."

He went to move forward but Sam stopped him with a hand on his arm, "Best just to leave them to it," she said softly, her eyes catching Michael's. "Nikki knows that you're grateful but she needs to rest. Besides, I want to know where you're taking me tonight."

Michael raised an eyebrow at her as he clocked the smirk on her face. He stepped forward again, his hands on her hips, "I didn't realise I was taking you anywhere Professor Ryan," he chuckled in between kisses.

Sam stepped away from him, almost feeling a shiver from the loss of contact but there was a twinkle in her eye, "Well then, you'll have to think of something quick because I'm starving." She started making her way out, leaving Michael standing there, an incredulous look on his face but he soon caught up to her, his fingers wrapping around hers as the pair left the Lyell.

Jack's hand was running up and down her arm, calming her as the cries subsided. He could kick himself for the way he had been acting towards her for the past couple of days. He had managed to push her away _again_. The only sense of relief was that she was here right now and hadn't whisked herself off to America like she had after Mexico.

"I'm sorry Nikki," he let out eventually. His voice rumbling against her ear as he spoke. "I shouldn't have said what I said."

"You were only telling me what I needed to hear," she breathed, sitting up so she could look at him now. "I do try and fix people. I jump into things thinking I can solve them and I don't take the time to consider whether or not I'm doing more harm by that."

She almost chuckled at herself causing Jack to raise an eyebrow, "Someone once told me that I was just trying to find myself in those people. Trying to save that little girl. Motherless, fatherless. The lost child," she swallowed the lump in her throat, doing her best to not cry as she remembered the words spoken by her old teacher all those years ago.

It had played on her mind so often because she had known it was true and it infuriated her that he had got it so right. "I suppose, when I see those people, lost and alone. With no hope. I know what that feels like and I want to protect them from that. I miss her Jack. I miss her so much. Not a day goes by where I don't think of her, of what she would be saying of me now. I was so angry with her, for leaving me behind. For leaving me with my father."

Jack stayed silent, letting her speak. He had known that she had lost her mother when she was young but she never really spoke about it, not properly. That had been the only information he managed to prise out of her over the years. But now he didn't know what to say, how to react. He thought back to the time he had seen those hospital notes, how her doctor had commented about her defensiveness when it came to her mother. And now she was here, opening up and he didn't know how to deal with that.

"I think she would be proud of me and for what I've achieved," she continued. "I'd give everything to see her again. To have her hold me like she used to when I was younger. The type of hug that made you feel safe, protected and like nothing could hurt you. Like home," she paused, her mind racing. But there was one question that continued to stick out to her, it always had but she had never dared to ask it out loud. "Why is it that everybody always leaves me?"

"Right you're going to have to explain that one to me," the smallest of smiles spread across his face as Nikki's lips twitched. But he knew what she was getting at, he had felt it too. That feeling had known him too well.

"First it was my mother, then my father abandoned me at every given opportunity," she explained. "Then I finally feel as though I had a family in this place, with Harry and Leo. Then Harry left and so did Leo. But then there was you and Clarissa and Thomas. My family. The best family I've ever known. But they left me too."

"I'm still here," Jack whispered, suddenly feeling breathless, as he tucked a blonde lock behind her ear.

"And why is that?" She pondered, her eyes not leaving his. "How come you've never left?"

"I suppose I could say the same thing about you," he answered. "You're the only one who hasn't left me yet."

"Yet? You say that as if you've found a way to get rid of me," she laughed as she moved to rest her head on his chest again. Her arm wrapping around him so she could feel as close to him as possible. "You couldn't get rid of me Jack Hodgson. Not even if you tried."

Jack couldn't help the grin that was filling his face as he tightened his grasp on her, his lips resting against the top of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Taken Too Soon - Evan is thrown into the middle of a case after a night out with a friend takes a deadly turn. Will Nikki and Jack be able to support him during this harrowing time? Or will he just make things worse for himself?


	5. Taken Too Soon - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan is thrown into the middle of a case after a night out with a friend takes a deadly turn. Will Nikki and Jack be able to support him during this harrowing time? Or will he just make things worse for himself?

"Have you managed to get hold of Evan yet?" Nikki asked as she manoeuvred herself into the passenger seat of Jack's car.

Jack shook his head, glancing at her, "No but it is two o'clock in the morning so he's probably passed out somewhere on someone's sofa."

Nikki chuckled at him, rolling her eyes even though it was probably true. She clicked her seatbelt into place and tried to suppress the yawn that was threatening to emerge. She didn't have to think twice about the address they had been given, she had guessed what it had been from the time. A young boy found dead just outside a nightclub, police suspecting a drug overdose and they wouldn't be far off. But someone had to do it and unfortunately for them, it was Jack and Nikki's turn. Sam having the pleasure of staying in bed, blissfully unaware.

It didn't take them long to arrive at the club, Jack parking only two minutes away. They had seen the blue flashing lights and could hear the muffled beat of the music. Nikki always thought she missed those days, going out on the town every weekend and getting drunk. But when she got there she'd quickly realise that those days are long over and she'd much rather stay at home with a bottle of wine and a tub of ice cream.

She looked over at Jack, the two of them heading to the crime scene after getting their suits on ready, "Do you miss it?" She queried, a small smirk on her face.

"Sometimes," Jack sighed, already knowing what she was getting at. "But then one whiff of aniseed and then all the horrible memories of throwing my guts up in a side street puts paid to that. No I'm happier with a beer in front of the TV these days."

"Gosh, when did we get so old?" Nikki laughed, flashing her badge at the police officer who let them pass under the tape. She waited for Jack but her eyebrows furrowed when he'd stopped dead, staring into the distance. She was about to ask what was wrong but when her eyes followed his line of sight, she quickly realised what was going on. Although it wasn't that hard to work out.

She let out a breath, feeling her stomach drop to the floor as her eyes connected with Evan's on the other side of the street. The tears streaming down his cheeks and his face full of panic. Placing her hand on Jack's arm, she grabbed his attention, "Why don't you go speak to him, find out what's happened and I'll make a start?"

Jack nodded, not quite finding the right words as he stepped forward, making his way to Evan. He had recognised that look in his face and he felt his heart breaking for the kid. Suddenly that innocence had disappeared. Evan was now starting to see the downsides of this place, the grief that it can cause.

And now he was going to be at the centre of it all, with his colleagues looking into his friends death. Losing a friend was hard enough but now he was going to be completely surrounded by it. Jack knew he was going to have to step up, to do everything in his power to not let Evan end up like him, bottling all his feelings up in the hopes that it would go away. He needed Evan to know that he had them and that they were going to be there the whole time. He didn't have to do this on his own.

He placed his hand on the police officer's shoulder who was trying their best to calm Evan down but they were having no such luck.

"I think I can deal with this," Jack spoke, his voice low. The police officer looked back at him, confusion all over her face. But she quickly decided that she didn't care enough to question it so she just backed off and left Evan and Jack to it. "Come here," Jack breathed, wrapping an arm around Evan's shoulder and pulling him into a hug. Holding him tightly as the boy sobbed.

He let Evan cry for a few minutes, Jack's hand running up and down his back until he went quiet and then he was guiding him to sit on the pavement. Jack sat next to him, their shoulders pressed against each others, "Now are you going to tell me what's happened?"

Evan shrugged, the back of his hand wiping the tears away, "One minute he was fine and then the next minute I come outside and he's on the floor," he began, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. "I tried to save him Jack but I knew. I knew that there was nothing I could do. The ambulance took ages to arrive and it was too late."

Jack nodded slowly, digesting the information, "Evan I have to ask, did your friend," he paused. It wasn't the easiest of questions to ask and especially when the boy was close to having a breakdown. His friend had just died in front of him and nobody should have to experience that. But Jack needed all the details so they could paint somewhat of a picture. And if Evan knew something, it would make everything that little bit easier. "Did he take any drugs?"

"No," Evan replied quickly, his head snapping up towards Jack's. "Theo would never. He hated drugs, he promised me that he would never touch them. I don't know what's happened but it's not Theo's fault." He could feel the irritation bubbling up inside him. He was angry at himself for leaving Theo alone, even if was only for a couple of minutes. He had spent the best part of an hour going over all the things he could've done wrong. All the people that Theo had spoken to but his mind had gone blank. There was nothing there, he couldn't remember a thing or any faces. The last thing he could remember was walking out and seeing his friend dead on the floor, people surrounding him shouting for help.

Jack placed his hand on Evan's shoulder, noticing the agitation growing again, "Sorry, I had to ask. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes there is actually," Evan nodded, gulping. "Find out who did this." He knew it wasn't Theo's fault, he had sworn down to him that he would never take drugs of any kind. He had told Evan of all the times he had watched his mother suffer as a result of them and he never wanted to end up like that. So Evan was growing really confused as to why this was happening now and why he was in this situation. Why he was having to defend his friend. Someone had done this to him and they needed to pay for what they'd done.

"Okay," was all Jack answered with before he stood up. "The police will probably want to speak to you so it's best just to hang around for now. But if you want, I can give you a lift back or you can stay at mine if you don't feel like going home."

"Thanks Jack," the smallest of smiles on his faces, his mind busy with all the thoughts. But he was grateful and it was a relief to know that at least someone had his back. And if anyone was going to fight his corner then it was going to be Jack, _that_ he was sure of.

Jack offered a smile back before heading towards Nikki who was still examining the body. She stood up as she spotted Jack walking in her direction, "Is he okay?" She asked eagerly, her face full of concern.

Jack's face forlorn as he shook his head at her, "From what I can gather he was a close friend of Evan's. He doesn't think it's got anything to do with drugs, he's adamant that Theo was against them and would never touch them."

Nikki couldn't stop the heavy breath coming out of her nose as her eyes connected with Jack's; his face telling her that he already knew what she was going to say. She bent down briefly before pulling out an evidence bag from her case. Inside, a small packet containing what looked like some kind of white powdered substance, "I found this in his pocket." She passed the bag over to Jack who inspected it carefully.

He could feel his heart racing as he brought the bag closer to his face, this wasn't looking good. And he really didn't want to have to be the one to break it to Evan that he might not know his friend as well as he thought he did, "Do you know the cause of death yet?"

"Not yet no," Nikki answered. "But it's more than likely an overdose. It usually is. There's nothing on the body to suggest that he had been in any kind of fight. There's a small wound on his forehead, most likely from when he fell but…"

"You'll know more at the post mortem," Jack finished for her, passing the bag back to Nikki who was placing it in her case once again. "He's not going to take this well."

"Did he see what happened?" Nikki pushed, her eyes brushing over the body that lay in front of them before moving to Jack's.

"He just said that he was fine but when he came outside he was on the floor," he explained. "He tried to save him but it was too late. But Nikki, he is adamant that this has got nothing to do with drugs, he thinks something else has happened."

Nikki took a deep breath, "Poor kid. We're going to have to tell Sam about this you know? He can't be anywhere near this case."

"I know. Leave it till the morning, yeah?" He waited for a nod from Nikki before he moved to collect any evidence from around the body. There wasn't much he could find, not that he expected much. There never was in cases like this. With so many people walking around it was highly unlikely that he would find anything that would be of any use to them.

He could hear Evan talking to the police in the distance. He watched, concern all over his face as the boy grew more and more annoyed by the second. It was when the police had asked if Evan had supplied the drugs he lost his temper. Jack moving quickly to put a hand on Evan's chest, pushing him back.

"This isn't going to help anyone," he warned, his voice quiet so that only Evan could hear him.

"What has Nikki found?" Evan asked, knowing that the police would only be asking such questions if Nikki had found something on his body. His eyes searched Jack's as the Irishman remained silent. "Tell me Jack," he said through gritted teeth, his nostrils flaring as the anger built up inside him.

Jack closed his eyes briefly, "She found a bag in his pockets," he admitted. "It looks like cocaine," his voice barely a whisper.

Evan shook his head aggressively, "No. No, you're wrong," Evan spat. "It's not his. It can't be his. Someone has planted it. He would never take drugs, his mum was an addict, he knows the effect of them. He would never."

"Evan I'm so sorry," Jack sighed. He went to place a hand on the boys shoulder but Evan flinched away from him. Evan's eyes moved over the scene before they connected with Nikki's. She had given him a sorrowful look and that was all it took for him to storm over to her.

"I want to see what you've found," his jaw clenched. His eyes catching sight of his friends body, the bile rising up his throat. He tried to swallow it down as best he could. It was strange, it wasn't the first dead body he had seen but being his friend it was different. It was almost making him question if he was really up for this job. If this was something he could deal with, the possibility of someone he knew ending up on the slab.

Nikki stood, holding her hands up to take hold of Evan's arms and push him away from the body. His DNA may be all over the scene anyway but they could do without making it worse. And he shouldn't have to see his friend in this state, it wouldn't be good for him at all. Jack was quick to join them, standing next to Nikki, trying to hide the boy's body from Evan as much as possible.

"Please Nikki," Evan begged, the tears welling up in his eyes.

"Evan I found it in his pockets, I'm sorry," her voice was as soft as she could make it, doing her best to soothe him. "Look, when I do the post mortem it could show something completely different you know that. We're just making assumptions on what we've found so far. Jack and I have seen these types of cases so many times, they all look the same," her eyes connected with Jack's for a moment before turning back to Evan. "Take him home Jack, I can finish up here."

Jack nodded, knowing it was for the best. His hands coming to rest on the boys shoulders, turning him away from the scene and heading back out the way him and Nikki came. As they were leaving they heard someone calling Jack's name. Spinning on his heel, he could see it was DI Morgan, the man in charge of the case.

"Where are you going?" He asked, his eyes flicking between Jack and Evan.

"I'm taking him home," Jack responded. "Look, Evan works with us at the Lyell and he's just witnessed his friend die in front of him. So, if you don't mind, I think it would be best for him to get away from this for a few hours. If you need to question him I'm sure you can do it tomorrow."

"Fine and what about the scene? You're the lead forensic scientist I need you here," DI Morgan put his hands on his hips, his face stern.

"There's nothing of any use there, you know that as much as I do," Jack raised an eyebrow at the older man. "Besides, Dr Alexander's more than capable. If she finds anything useful she'll be sure to document it." Not wanting to talk anymore he turned back to Evan as he guided him to his car.

He waited for Evan to settle in, in the passenger seat, before he started the engine up, "Right, you're coming home with me. I'm not leaving you on your own tonight." And with that, the pair of them made their way back to Jack's apartment.

Nikki pulled out her phone from her pocket. Dialling Sam's number, she put the phone to her ear, not surprised when it had rung through to her voicemail, "Sam, it's Nikki," she began. "We've got a bit of a problem with Evan. I'll explain it a bit more in the morning but I thought I should give you the heads up..."

* * *

Jack parked up in the car park for his apartment. His head turned to face Evan, the boy's forehead pressing against the window. He let out a sigh before reaching over the threshold to take hold of his arm, doing his best to try and comfort him. He wasn't sure of what he should do or say, he had known how Evan had been feeling but he didn't know how to deal with it. Nikki he could handle, he was used to her emotions but Evan was different. And Jack hadn't known him for that long, he didn't want to end up saying something and offending the boy.

"Come on," Jack breathed, breaking the silence that had settled in the car. "Let's get you inside." Jack unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door, waiting for a moment for Evan to do the same. Once he got out of the car, Jack led the way to his apartment. Evan moping behind him, no expression on his face, just the red rings that had formed around his eyes.

Jack dropped his keys down on the kitchen counter, the clash against the marble echoing throughout the room, "Um," Jack stuttered, suddenly feeling awkward. "The bathroom's just through there if you want to have a shower or whatever," he pointed towards a room just to the right. "The spare room is the door next to it. Do you want a drink or something to eat?"

Evan looked around the room, not really sure of what was going on. He had never felt so empty before. In one night it felt as though he had lost everything. He had gone out, on top of the world. And he come back feeling as though his life wasn't worth living for much anymore. He had barely registered anything that Jack had said to him but he shook his head regardless, knowing that there was nothing Jack could do to take the pain away.

"I was going to make myself a hot chocolate or something if you want one?" Jack pushed, walking over to the boy. He stopped in front of him as Evan's eyes connected with his. He took one look at the tears forming in the boy's eyes and he was pulling him into a hug. He felt Evan wrapping his arms around him, holding him tightly as he sobbed just as he had earlier. His hand ran up and down his back, an attempt to console him.

He eventually let go as the cries subsided, "How about that hot chocolate?" Evan gave him a small nod. "Right, well, make yourself comfortable on the chair I won't be a minute." Jack moved away from him and into the kitchen area. He flicked the kettle on before glancing over his shoulder, the boy had actually sat down, the back of his hand swiping the tears away.

He had thought about phoning Nikki for some advice but he knew that she was still going to be at the scene and it was getting later and later and she'd probably just want to go home and to bed. And he couldn't exactly blame her for that, that was all he wanted to do. But he needed to be there for Evan.

Spooning the powder into the mugs, he continued to wait for the water to boil. But as the kettle clicked, he looked over at Evan once again, just to double check that nothing had happened. But the boy had fallen asleep, his body slumped. He made his way over, taking his glasses off and placing them on the coffee table before lowering him down so he'd be more comfortable. He pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and draped it over Evan before he headed to his room, forgetting about the hot chocolate he had started making.

As he lay in bed, he scrolled through his phone, his finger hovering over Nikki's name. He had so desperately wanted to call her but he decided against it, letting his phone drop down beside him. He tried to clear his mind as he closed his eyes, allowing the sleep to wash over him.

* * *

Nikki could hardly call it the next day when it had merely been a few hours since she had been at the crime scene. And she had hardly slept during those hours, her mind busy with thoughts of Evan. She had been tempted to phone Jack to ask how he was doing but she knew that he would be sleeping and she didn't want to disturb him.

But it turns out she didn't have to worry about how Evan was too much as he was sat at his desk when she walked in. Her face screwed up as she failed to spot Jack and she knew that the two would've come in together since Evan had stayed with Jack last night.

"Evan," she breathed, walking over to him. "How are you?"

Evan shrugged his shoulders, the rims around his eyes a bright red, "I didn't think it would be this hard," he replied as he continued to stare mindlessly at the blank screen in front of him. "It still hasn't sunk in yet."

Nikki gave him a sad smile, she had seen many a friend lying on a slab and it never got easier. It had been a long time since the first but she could remember it as if it was yesterday. And that pain, that heartbreak, never went away. Even if you work with dead bodies daily, it's always different when it's someone you know. She reached out, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it tightly, "We're going to be there with you every step of the way, okay? Anytime you ever want to talk…" she trailed off.

Evan nodded slowly, "Thanks," was all he could manage as a tear slipped down his cheek.

As Nikki stood to make her way over to her own desk, Jack walked into the room; their eyes sharing a look briefly before they both sat down at their respective desks. The silence in the room was deafening, both too scared of saying something. And they could hardly discuss the case, especially with Evan in the room.

Thankfully it didn't stay quiet for too long as Sam burst into the room. Her eyes looking round at all the faces before settling on Evan. She let out a sigh as she saw the boy in front of her, broken and defeated.

"Evan," she spoke, breaking the silence and causing the young boy to meet her eye. She gestured her head towards her office. "I think we better have a word, don't you?"

Evan pushed himself up off his chair and followed behind Sam as they walked into her office. He could feel his heart racing, he knew what was about to happen and he had been dreading it for the past couple of hours. He knew he wouldn't be able to work on the case and he understood that but he just wanted to be around. To make sure that Theo was getting justice. He had to know that they wouldn't throw this to the side thinking it was just another drug overdose. Because it wasn't and Evan was sure of that.

He sat down in the chair opposite to Sam's desk, waiting as she rounded the corner and settled down in her own chair. Her face serious and full of concern. Sam looked at the boy in front of her, her heart breaking for him. She had been here before, she had known that feeling and she had known the fight that was currently going on inside him. She had had to stand back and watch as her colleagues investigated her friend's death. But back then she had done everything she could to be involved and she almost risked her career for it. And she didn't want Evan to make the same mistake as she did.

"First off I just want to say that I'm so sorry, no one should have to go through what you're going through right now," she started. Taking a deep breath, gathering herself before what she had to say next, she continued. "Secondly, and I think you know what I'm going to say, but you're going to have to take a step back from this one. I can't have you risking your career before it's even had a chance to begin. And I don't need to go into all the conflicts of interest because you already know about that."

Evan nodded, trying to swallow the lump in his throat and rid his eyes of the tears forming.

Sam clasped her hands together, leaning her elbows on her desk as she carried on, "I am going to suggest that you take a couple of days off, to get your head around the whole ordeal and to give yourself time to grieve. Plus being here, surrounded by it all is just going to make things worse for you," her eyes searched his, trying to gauge some kind of reaction but he stayed silent. "How do you feel about that?"

Evan thought over it for a moment, the tears finally spilling over the edge. He was quick to wipe them off his cheek as he shook his head, "I'm happy to take a step back and not get involved but I want to stay here."

"I strongly advise you to have some time off," Sam interrupted, her voice firm. "Evan you're young, you need to think about your future. If you want to do this for the rest of your life, you really need to stay away from this case and that means taking time away as well."

"You think I had something to do with this don't you?" Evan snapped his head up to her, the annoyance bubbling up inside him as he jumped to conclusions.

Sam put her hands up in defence, "That is not what I'm saying. You're just too close to this case already and if something happens, if it becomes something bigger, you can't be involved."

"You think I gave him the drugs?" Evan pushed to which Sam sighed. She had been informed by Nikki of the questions Evan had been asked by the police and she knew she was going to have to get him away from all of this as quickly as possible; a sort of damage limitation. Evan almost jumped to his feet, his face full of fury as he looked down at Sam. "I would never take drugs and I would _never_ supply them. Theo was against drugs as much as I was. Someone has done this and I hope that you and everyone else can look past your ignorance to see that."

Evan clenched his jaw as he stormed out of the room. He didn't give Jack or Nikki the chance to open their mouths before he was ripping his coat from the back of his chair and moving quickly out of the Lyell. He didn't know where he was going, he didn't particularly care. He just needed some air and to be on his own. He needed some time to himself, to think.

Nikki stared at Jack, their faces mirroring each other as Sam slowly emerged from her office. She let out a breath as she made her way over to the pair, her arms folded and her eyes flicking between them.

"We're going to have keep an eye on him," she exhaled. "Just give him some time to cool off, no doubt he'll be back. If he's anything like the three of us, he won't stay away for very long."

There were small smiles on the three faces, all of them knowing that what Sam had said had been true. Neither of them being able to _let things be._ They all hoped that Evan would have a little bit more sense than them though and not go to the lengths that they would often go to get an answer and find out the truth. Although they hadn't been setting great examples so far, especially with Nikki putting herself in the line of sight of a murderer not the other week.

Sam left them as quickly as she had joined them and Nikki was looking over in his direction. "How was he last night?" She asked, causing Jack to look up at her.

"Not good," he shook his head.

"Did he say anything?" She pushed.

Jack leaned back in his chair, letting out a sigh, "No," he started. "I didn't want to harass him with too many questions. I think losing his friend was enough for one night, me trying to interrogate him for answers would probably tip him over the edge. Did you manage to find anything else at the scene?"

It was Nikki's turn to shake her head, "Nothing and it's not helping that DI Morgan was trying to wash his hands of the case before it had even started," she rolled her eyes. "I'll be very surprised if he turns up for the post mortem this afternoon. Although there is something bugging me about the scene."

"What do you mean?" Jack's brows furrowed.

"The wound on his forehead, I can't be totally sure but it seems as though he hit his head as he fell," she explained, leaning forward on her desk. "But that's not common in these cases. Usually the person's body will slowly break down, he wouldn't have fallen. I also would've expected to have seen vomiting at the scene but there were no signs of that on or around the body. Plus, his skin hadn't developed any changes in colour, not how I would've expected anyway. I don't think this was an overdose."

Jack squinted his eyes as the thought about it for a moment, "So Evan could be right?"

"Right about it not being an overdose yes. As for taking the drugs, I can't rule that out at the moment. Not with what we found on his body," she let out as she quickly remembered another question that had been playing on her mind. "Did Evan mention seeing Theo having a seizure? That's usually common as well."

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "He didn't mention anything to me but from what I can gather he can't really remember much from that night."

Nikki sighed, turning back to her computer, her brain completely puzzled now.

It wasn't long before Nikki was performing the post mortem. The only person in the observation room being Jack. She knew that the police were already ruling this one out as being an accidental overdose and she couldn't blame them entirely. That was the first thing she had thought of when the call had come through. That's what they usually ended up being in these cases. But it was Evan's determination and adamancy that was swaying her judgement.

She had recognised that look in his face, it had been on hers many times. And there was nothing worse than having people not taking you seriously when you were so sure of something. It was possibly one of the most infuriating situations to be in, when you know you're right about something but everyone around is telling you that you're wrong. She hoped that the body would find at least some of the answers, and she hoped that Evan wasn't just trying to defend his friend to make him look better. But with what they had found so far, it was unlikely that Evan was completely right.

"The body is that of a twenty-one year old male, confirmed to be Theo Weir," she started, speaking into her dictaphone. She carried out her external examination, taking a closer look at the wound on his forehead. She confirmed it to be as a result of him hitting the floor as he fell. She continued but there were no signs of any needle marks, nor any signs that he had ingested any drugs nasally, although she did swab the area just in case.

She then moved on to her internal examination of the body but she was surprised at what she had found as she looked at the boys throat. Her face screwed together as she thought over the possibilities. Wanting to see if she may have been on to something, she checked the heart, taking a sample to be tested. She continued in search of the evidence for her theory and finding just that.

Noticing that she now had that look on her face Jack spoke, "What have you found?"

Nikki glanced up at Jack, her eyebrows furrowed, "I can't be sure until I get everything tested but it's possible that he died of anaphylaxis."

"Anaphylaxis?" Jack tilted his head, not expecting that. Nikki nodded in reply. There was a hopeful spark in her eye and Jack knew exactly why. But he also knew that there could be a million explanations as to how he could've ended up this way. "Nikki I know what you're thinking, but there's a chance he didn't even know that he was allergic to anything. He still could've taken those drugs himself. And if what Evan is saying is true, that he was against drugs and had never taken them before. What if, for just this one night he decided to try it. He wouldn't know that he was allergic?"

Nikki sighed, knowing that he had a point. But that was only one line of enquiry, there was still a chance that someone could've administered the drugs to him. And for all she knew, the anaphylactic shock could've been brought on by something else entirely. They were just assuming that it was drug related because the body was found outside of a night club at two in the morning and they just so happened to have found drugs on the body.

She let her thoughts wander as she turned back to the body and continued with the post mortem. She took all the necessary samples for testing and before she knew it she was wrapping it all up again.

* * *

It was the next day when the results were coming through on the tests she had sent off yesterday. She had rushed to open them as they arrived, her eyes scanning over the paper as she digested the information. Her stomach dropped as she realised what they had been telling her.

Jack walked in, two coffees in his hand, panic setting in as he watched Nikki slumping down in her chair; her hand covering her mouth, "What's wrong?" He asked as he set the coffee down on the desk in front of her. Nikki passed the paper over to him after he placed his own cup down and was now perching himself on the edge of her desk.

His eyes flicked over the various graphs and words and now he realised why she had been so gobsmacked, "So there was no cocaine in his system at all?"

Nikki shook her head, standing up so she could look at the graphs again. She pointed at one of the lines, "But there was flunitrazepam," she eyed him. "And there were traces of it in his stomach contents as well so that was how it got into his system which is expected."

"Rohypnol?" He retorted. "So what about the drugs you found on him?"

Nikki shrugged, "I don't know. It's definitely cocaine and he definitely died of an allergic reaction," she pulled out another piece of paper to hand to Jack. "There were histamines present in the samples I took of the heart. I'll have to test the allergen to be sure that it was the rohypnol that brought on the anaphylaxis."

Jack nodded, the two of them already heading towards the mortuary to confirm their suspicions and to get their answers as soon as possible. His mind had swiftly turned back to Evan.

He hadn't returned yesterday and he had been ignoring Jack's phone calls. Jack hadn't pushed it though, also knowing how he would've been feeling in this situation and it was often worse when people kept harassing you to ask how you were. That didn't stop him from worrying however.

He had tried not to let the thoughts bother him too much but he was beginning to panic over whether or not something may have happened to Evan. He had been in a right state when he left yesterday and anything could've happened. There was a sense of relief when Sam mentioned this morning that she had managed to get hold of him eventually and he had told her that he will take some time off.

Jack and Nikki walked into the mortuary, the pair now adorning their scrubs. Jack smiled briefly as he remembered the first case they had ever worked on and how in that case he had also assisted her when she was trying to ascertain a deadly allergen. But that smile soon disappeared as he remembered just why they had been here.

He held the equipment for her as she carried out her tests as meticulously as she always had. He had found this side of her just as captivating as when she was carrying out post mortems. She was watching the machine work it's magic for a moment before she was looking up at him.

"What do we do if Evan is involved?" She queried.

"He's not involved Nikki," he shook his head.

"But you can't know that for definite Jack," she pointed out. She didn't want to speak ill of Evan and she knew deep down that he would have nothing to do with this but she had to ask the questions. She had to be sure. Just incase.

"He doesn't seem the type to be into that sort of thing," Jack sighed, his elbow leaning against the machine as he gazed down at the smaller woman. "You should've seen him the other night, he was so distraught I nearly phoned you because I didn't know what to do."

Nikki raised an eyebrow, not expecting that. She had a shiver as she remembered that she too had debated on phoning Jack as well.

"I was scared that he might do something," Jack admitted. "I suppose that's why I asked him round. I didn't want him to be on his own. Not in that state."

She couldn't help her lips twitching fondly as her eyes flickered over Jack's face. He was a good person and quite frankly, she had never met someone with a bigger heart. She was glad to have him in her life because she honestly didn't know what she would do without him. The beeping from the machine brought her from her thoughts. She waited for the paper to print, nodding as it confirmed their suspicions.

Jack, Nikki and Sam were now all gathered in the observation room, ready for their briefing with the police. Jack was watching Nikki as she set up the folders and pictures on the screen. They were still waiting for the detectives to turn up and it had reached the point where they were beginning to wonder if they would even show up at all. They hadn't made an appearance at the post mortem after all, so they clearly weren't bothered about this case. And that pissed Jack off to no end. If Evan was right and this death _was_ suspicious then Theo should have people fighting his corner and doing everything they can to get him justice. Not just writing him off at the first hurdle.

But then he supposed that both himself and Nikki had been guilty of that in a sense, they had both assumed what had happened before they got to the scene. On the other hand, he knew that they were much more open to other possibilities and ideas than the detectives would be. The detectives only wanting an open and shut case; not wanting to muddy the waters.

He chuckled as he caught Nikki jumping at the sound of the detectives finally turning up. He recognised DI Morgan from the other day but not the smaller one trailing behind him, he hadn't seen him before.

"DI Morgan," he announced, nodding at the others before sitting down on a chair. His hand gestured to his colleague. "This is DS Turner, my partner."

"Hello," DS Turner's lips twitched before he too was sitting down, next to his partner.

"Right shall we get this over with?" His elbows leaning on the desk, his face full of boredom already. Nikki had opened her mouth to speak but he was quickly interrupting, Sam avoiding the temptation to roll her eyes as they caught with Jack's. "Let me guess, overdose?"

"No actually," Nikki shook her head, the beginnings of a smug look on her face. She turned around, selecting different photos she had taken from the post mortem. "I initially found edema, or swelling, in the larynx and glottis which caused restriction to the airways. Along with dilation of the peripheral blood vessels in the arms and legs, I was led to believe that anaphylaxis was the cause of death. I ran further tests and found the presence of high levels of histamines in the heart which further prove that."

"So he had an allergic reaction to the drugs he took?" DS Turner questioned.

"Yes," Nikki confirmed. "The wound I found on his forehead was caused by the fall brought on by the anaphylaxis as well." She moved to bring up more photos but DI Morgan was speaking again. Nikki bit down on her lip to stop the exasperated sigh threatening to escape as she faced him.

"So what is the problem here?" He looked around the room. "Why am I here? He tried to act like the big man, took some drugs and had an allergic reaction to it. I'd say that's pretty self explanatory don't you? I mean come on, you found the evidence on the body. Why are you wasting my time?"

"Well that's it," Nikki piped up. "I tested the drugs we found on his body and it was definitely cocaine. But the drug in his system was flunitrazepam or more commonly known as rohypnol. And I don't think I need to explain to you how people use that type of drug."

Jack hid the smile as he spotted DI Morgan's face drop, suddenly realising that this case wasn't going to be a simple open and shut. And in true Nikki style she had brought the detective down with cold hard facts that he couldn't argue against.

"I tested for the allergen also and he did have an allergic reaction the rohypnol," she clarified further as the detective remained silent.

"So you think that someone may have slipped him this drug?" He asked.

"Given the common use of the drug then I'd say so yes," she explained. "And given that the drugs were found on his body then it's possible that someone may have planted it to make it look like as though he had taken them."

"I could run a fingerprint analysis on the bag," Jack piped up. "Find out if he came into contact with it and see if it was planted or if it did belong to him."

"It didn't belong to him," Evan snapped, causing everyone in the room to look in his direction as he stood in the doorway.

Sam shot a look to Jack who was standing up already and making his way over to Evan, his hand on his chest guiding him out of the room.

"I thought he wasn't meant to be here?" DI Morgan quipped. "Look, even if someone drugged him, there's no way we would be able to track them down. They could be anyone and they could be anywhere by now."

"But isn't it worth looking into?" Nikki pushed. "God knows how many people this has happened to and you're going to allow them to continue to walk around freely, no harm done?" She could feel herself growing annoyed at the detectives attitude. Before she had sat on the fence about this case, knowing that it could've gone in any direction but as the truths started to reveal themselves it was becoming more and more obvious as to where this was headed. And if there was someone going around slipping drugs into people's drinks to take advantage of them, they needed to be caught as soon as possible before more damage could be done.

"What do you want me to do?" He retorted. "We get cases upon cases of this, we never find the person. It's impossible. And we don't even know if that is what has happened. For all we know his friend could've given it to him or he could've taken it himself. You know kids this days, will do anything to get a buzz."

Nikki's mouth hung open, an incredulous look on her face as she scoffed, "Unbelievable," she said under her breath. "I think it's fairly obvious that this has got nothing to do with Evan, he tried to save his life."

"Because he felt guilty about slipping him the drugs," DI Morgan threw back. "You seen how he was that night Dr Alexander and that was not how an innocent person behaves…"

"With all due respect DI Morgan," Nikki quipped, her hands leaning on the table in an attempt to assert her authority more. "Evan had just lost his friend, I'd be more worried if he wasn't reacting."

DI Morgan tutted, shaking his head, "Fatal mistake Dr Alexander. You're a smart woman, I can see that," he remarked, causing Nikki to straighten her back as she glared at the detective; her arms folded. "But please don't be an idiot in trying to defend him. I've given the Lyell the benefit of the doubt here. I could've gone to a different lab, one that didn't have a conflict of interest but I thought that you would provide the truth no matter how hard hitting it was. Now if you're going to continue on this crusade by trying to prove Evan's innocence rather than finding the evidence then I'm going to have consider taking this further."

That was when Sam piped up, clearing her throat, "That won't be necessary," she interrupted, shooting a warning look towards Nikki. "Dr Alexander knows what she needs to do but you also have to accept that there is no evidence to prove that Evan was behind this. So Nikki is well within her rights to dispute your accusations, especially when they are being detrimental to the case and causing you to look elsewhere other than in the right direction."

DI Morgan huffed, not impressed by either woman's attitude but he chose to remain silent knowing that he had no other leg to stand on.

Jack guided Evan into the offices, sitting him down on his chair before perching himself on the edge of his desk, "Look I'm not going to have a go at you, I know Sam has already warned you off," he started. "But take it from someone who knows how this feels, stay away. You'll only make things worse by putting yourself in the middle of it all. You're a good forensic scientist Evan, please don't mess it all up now."

Evan shook his head, "It wasn't his fault Jack."

"I know," Jack agreed, sighing. "But we're going to have to convince the detectives of that and we can't do that whilst you're still sniffing around. If they think that you're trying to influence the investigation they're going to start pointing the finger at you."

"What?" Evan stood up, his face like thunder. "All I want to do is find the person responsible for this. To stop them from doing it to more people," he paused, his chest rising and falling before looking back up at Jack. "How did he die?"

Jack took a deep breath, he knew he shouldn't be telling him this. It was a conflict of interest. But as he caught the desperation in Evan's eyes, he knew he needed to give the boy some kind of answer. Some kind of reassurance, "It was anaphylaxis," he explained. "He had rohypnol in his system and it had set off an allergic reaction."

Evan's face screwed up as his mind ran over the information. He still couldn't remember a thing from that night. Nothing from before what had happened and barely anything after. He couldn't wrap his head around any of this. None of it made sense. He didn't have anything to say, unable to find the words. He pushed past Jack, making his way out of the Lyell once again. His anger bubbling to the surface.

Jack's eyes followed after him but he didn't move, knowing that there was no point in chasing after him when he was like this. He didn't have much time to think however as Nikki and Sam were emerging from the observation room, the detectives following closely behind. It took one look at Nikki to know how she was feeling and it didn't seem good.

They waited for the detectives to leave before Sam was calling Jack and Nikki into her office, the two of them sitting down on the chairs opposite her desk.

"What has he said?" Sam asked as she settled down in her own chair. "Come on Jack, I haven't got all day. This investigation is starting to get messy and I need to clean it up before it's too late."

Jack briefly glanced at Nikki before facing Sam, "He's still adamant that Theo didn't take those drugs," he rested his chin on his hand. "I told him how he died but he just walked off, didn't say anything after that. Which I thought was a bit weird."

Sam ran her fingers through her hair, "I don't know what to do about him," he eyes flitted between Jack and Nikki. "Do you think he could've had anything to do with this?" She directed at Jack.

He shook his head, "No, he's just in shock. He watched his friend die last night and that would be enough for anyone to react in the way he has," he stopped, milling over his words. "Please don't give up on him Sam, he's a good kid."

Sam nodded slowly, knowing that Jack was right. But she also had to protect the Lyell and it's reputation. They couldn't do with having one her staff being at the centre of the case, possibly even being a suspect. She wanted to support Evan as much as she possibly could but she had to think of the bigger picture at the moment. At least until they could prove that he was completely innocent.

"I'm going to do my best Jack," she replied. "But there's only so much I can do, you know that."

Jack stood up, needing to get some air. He liked Evan, he was almost a reflection of his younger self and he felt this almost paternal side coming out of him. Like he wanted to protect Evan and look out for him. He had never had that feeling before but now it was staring him in the face. He was reminded of that conversation he had shared with Nikki when she thought she was pregnant last year. She had asked if he wanted children and he hadn't considered it much before then. But now, with everything going on with Evan, he couldn't get it off his mind. Maybe he was ready to be a dad.

He almost chuckled as he thought about how it taken him trying to look out for Evan for him to realise that he had wanted kids. This feeling of fatherhood had washed over him so suddenly and taken him by surprise. He had never thought he would ever get those feelings but now here he was.

Nikki remained sitting in Sam's office, looking over at the older woman. This was why she didn't want to take the job. Because she knew she wouldn't be able to make the decision, to protect her staff or the Lyell's reputation. It would be even harder if that said staff member had ended up being Jack. She let out a breath.

There was a part of her that wished that this had been an overdose, that Evan had simply not known his friend as much as he thought he had. At least then they'd be able to wrap up this case and wouldn't be suspicious of the kid. She never liked drug cases but she supposed that was because she had never quite grasped the concept of drug taking, never having been one for it.

"I will never understand why people feel the need to take drugs in order to feel as though they will have a good night," she pondered as she thought more about the topic. "It never appealed to me when I was younger. Even less so now, after seeing the damages drugs cause."

"I don't know, I think I was probably tempted at some point during my youth," Sam answered. "Not that I can remember much of that time," she chuckled. "Nikki can you do me a favour?"

"Sure."

"Do everything you can to prove that Evan wasn't involved in this please," her eyes pleading as they connected with Nikki's. It was a big ask, especially after the detectives outburst in the observation room. But she knew that Evan wasn't involved and she didn't want to see his career being ruined so early on. "I can't be seen to be taking sides, I have to remain neutral in this. But you don't have to. So please, do what you can."

"You don't need to ask me twice," Nikki responded. She didn't care for what DI Morgan had said just now, she knew she was right and she certainly wasn't going to let a man shoot her down or get in her way of her finding the answers. "It's blatantly obvious that he didn't have anything to do with this. Admittedly he hasn't reacted well but it's completely within reason. You know, this was the reason why I didn't want to do this job. I had seen it eat away at Leo and subsequently Thomas. The politics of it all, the decision making. Having to stay impartial despite the facts staring you in the face. I couldn't do it."

"Don't put yourself down, I think you would be great actually," Sam's lips upturned. "You're better than you give yourself credit for. Okay, it's always a hard decision to make and it's not always nice to have to choose a side but I've seen how you work Nikki and I know that you'd make the right choice."

Nikki could feel the blush creeping up on her at Sam's compliments.

"Although I think you may struggle in learning to take a step back from time to time," Nikki laughed at that, rolling her eyes now. "I can't exactly say that I'm not glad you didn't take the job though because if you had I wouldn't be here."

"You're welcome, I guess," Nikki smiled. "I'm happy you're here though, the place has needed a woman's touch for a while now," her eyes wandered around the room.

"Do you miss him? Leo that is," Sam queried as she thought about her late friend.

"Of course, not a day goes by where I don't think of him. More so now after Thomas," her lips twitched fondly as she thought about the man. He was always on her mind in one way or another. "You know, as much as he hated me saying it, he was the closest thing I had to a father."

"I wish I could've come to the funeral," Sam let out, almost feeling a lump in her throat. She had always been close to Leo, seeing him as an equal; the two of them coming together to parent Harry in their own unconventional way. She chuckled as she remembered the jokes often shared between them. "When Harry told me what had happened, I couldn't believe it. But then it would be just like Leo to die saving others."

"That was Leo, always the hero," Nikki commented. "I often wonder what he would be saying now. What advice he'd be throwing my way. If he'd be giving me that look he'd always give me."

"Oh I know that look," Sam laughed, the man's face flashing across her mind.

The room grew silent as both women reminisced on the times they had respectively shared with Leo, both almost wishing that he could see the two of them working together now. How he would probably be fearing for his life to see Sam and Nikki in a room together, the pair both being forces to be reckoned with.

Nikki pushed herself up on her chair, "Do you want a coffee?"

"Please," Sam nodded, watching the younger woman leaving the room.

Nikki walked out to find Jack sitting at the lab, everything sprawled out in front of him but his eyes staring blankly at the wall. She made her way over to him, stopping just next to him.

"He didn't do it Nikki," Jack said eventually, moving his head to catch her eye.

"I know," she replied softly. Her hand coming to rest on his arm briefly before she pulled it away again; noticing how his breath had hitched at her touch. "Sam's asked for us to do everything we can to prove that. She knows it too but you know how it is."

"Unfortunately I do," Jack's eyes moved to the bag sitting in front of him, ready to process it for DNA. "Hopefully we can find something on this that will help us." He waited until Nikki continued past him before starting the task at hand. Praying that it would give them something conclusive.

* * *

Evan checked the ID in his wallet and double checked that his phone was in his pocket before making his way out of his apartment. This was something that he needed to do, as much as it was going to hurt to go back there. Back to the spot where he had seen it all happen. But he needed to do something to jog his mind, to bring back the memories that his brain was so clearly repressing.

Walking down the streets, the lights flashing and the music blaring. He had been so excited to go out the other night, it was the first time Theo and him were actually going out as a sort of couple. Nothing had been officially been confirmed between them but after months and almost a year of pining after each other, they had finally made the decision to make a go of things. That was what had made it worse. The moment they'd actually given into their feelings, he had been ripped away from him.

He waited in the line of the club he had been in not forty eight hours ago. He looked around him, it was like nothing had happened. Not a single person bothered that a dead body had been lying out on the floor. Nobody cared. He wanted to scream at that, because it made it seem as though Theo didn't matter. And he did. He was the most caring person Evan had ever met, someone who would do everything and anything for everyone. He had never met a more kinder soul.

And now he was going to be accused of killing himself by taking those drugs. But Theo had sworn down to Evan that he would never touch drugs, not after his mother. When he seen that Nikki had found a bag of cocaine on his body, he couldn't believe it. It didn't make sense. If Theo had been so against drugs then how was there drugs on his body? It didn't even prove anything because the drugs they had found in his system didn't match.

He could feel himself growing more annoyed, he knew Nikki and Jack would do everything they could to argue his case but he also knew how these detectives work. He had seen it over the few months he had been working at the Lyell. Once they had made their mind up about something then that was it, there was no changing it.

He supposed that was why he was here now, to help. Jack and Sam had told him not to but he couldn't just sit back and let things happen. He had to be there in any way he could. He needed to prove to the police that they had been wrong to judge Theo and they had been wrong to judge _him_.

He stepped forward, the queue getting shorter. He eventually reached the front as he flashed his ID card to the bouncer. He was then let in, the pumping music getting louder. He made his way down the stairs just as he had done yesterday, except this time he walked alone. He didn't have someone holding on to his hand. He couldn't stop the lump forming in his throat at the thought, his hand twitching in the hopes that he had been dreaming. That it had all been made up. Some horrible nightmare.

But as someone pushed past him he was quickly brought back into the room. He swallowed, shaking his head as he continued down the steps. He could feel the memories slowly coming back to him, slowly resurfacing.

_"Come on then Evan," Theo all but shouted, the beat of the music drowning out their voices. He moved, capturing Evan's lips with his. His hands cupping his face before travelling down to take hold of Evan's hand, tugging him towards the dance floor. "And don't tell me you don't dance because I have seen you. I know you've got the moves," he winked._

_Evan could feel the warmth creeping up his cheeks but he let his body move to the music, his hand never leaving Theo's. The drinks consumed back at his flat slowly sinking into their bloodstream now. Their lips met in the middle, Evan's heart racing. It felt like they were the only two in the room despite the various bodies bumping into them. This had been a long time coming. A whole year of teasing and they had finally reached this moment and Evan couldn't been happier._

_It seemed as though his life was looking up at the minute, he had nearly reached the end of his degree, he had a sort of job doing the thing he had loved the most. And he found someone who understood him completely. Who made him wake up in the morning. The grin spread across his face as his eyes met with Theo's._

Evan let out a breath as he stood by the balcony, looking over at the dance floor. People dancing without a single care. If he closed his eyes he could see the two of them in the middle of the floor, in a world of their own. He had been so happy that night. The happiest he had been in a long time.

_"Do you want a drink?" Theo whispered in his ear, his hand resting on the side of Evan's face._

_Evan pulled back, nodding before mentioning that he was going to go the toilet. The two of them parted, heading in opposite directions. He could feel himself growing flustered as he walked into the bathroom. He removed his glasses so he could splash cold water on his face in the hopes of cooling him down. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that this was actually happening, that he was here with the person he loved most in the world._

Evan took the same route to the bathroom, just as he had done two nights ago. He walked around the bathroom on the off chance that something would jog his memory. Maybe someone he had bumped into, someone he may have inadvertently pissed off without realising. Someone who had seen him and Theo and decided to take revenge. But as he strolled past the stalls, there was nothing. He left, making his way back out.

_Something, or rather someone had caught his eye as he glanced over at the bar after leaving the bathroom. Someone was talking to Theo. His heart dropped as he watched the older man say something to which Theo had laughed. Evan's brows furrowed. There was almost a slither of jealousy running through him, he knew he had no reason to feel that way. But he couldn't help it._

_He headed over to them standing in between them, planting his lips on Theo's cheek, "Which one's mine?" He pointed at the drinks that sat on the bar._

_"Whichever," Theo shrugged. Evan picked up the one closest to him, taking a sip._

_"Do you want to dance?" Evan gestured his head towards the dance floor. Wanting to get away from the man that was glaring at the pair of them. He had sent a shiver down Evan's spine, something wasn't right._

_Theo's lips twitched, standing up, his drink in his hand as the pair returned to the dance floor. Evan watched as Theo downed his drink. Placing his cup on the side, he was whispering in Evan's ear again, "I'm going to get some air." Theo walked away stumbling. Evan couldn't help but chuckle as he followed him leaving, the drinks consumed really starting to go to their heads._

Evan gulped as everything started to click into place. The strange man, the drinks at the bar. Theo wanting to get some air. The stumbling. He could feel the panic rising up his throat as he realised that it could've been him. He could've picked the drink the man had drugged. Because it must've happened then, there were no other possible explanations.

He snapped his eyes shut, desperately trying to remember anything about the man, any distinguishing features. But there was nothing. All he could remember was that for the most part he was ordinary looking. Nothing special about him apart from how he had made Evan uncomfortable. He continued on the path, hoping that something else would reveal itself.

_He was hot on Theo's tail as the two headed towards the smoking area but he stopped when he heard his full name being called. He turned, the beam spreading across his face as he seen his childhood friend running in his direction. He wrapped his arms around her, holding on to her tightly._

_"Lucy oh my gosh," he exclaimed, picking her up and almost squeezing all of the breath out of her. He eventually put her down. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were in Manchester?"_

_"I was, but I wanted to come down to London for the week," she was speaking into his ear, the music seeming to have gotten louder. "How have you been? You're doing forensics aren't you?"_

_"Yeah," Evan replied. His mind wandered back to Theo, knowing that he should probably go and find him because no doubt he was throwing up somewhere and getting himself chucked out in the process. "Look, I'll meet up with you later okay? Or better still, have my number, we can have a proper catch up then." He pulled his phone out of his pocket, selecting his number so Lucy could copy it down onto her own._

_He leaned forward, pressing his lips into her cheek before backing off and making his way outside. That was when he seen the commotion, the crowd forming, people screaming. Worried, he pushed his way to the front, Theo was on the floor. His stomach dropped as he rushed to his side, turning his body over._

_"Theo?" He panicked, trying to shake him but he wouldn't wake up. "Somebody help, call an ambulance!" He shouted as loud as he could as his mind raced over all the things that he should probably be doing now. He checked that Theo was breathing, placing his ear over his mouth. But he couldn't feel his breath and he couldn't see his chest rising and falling. Evan could feel his body shaking now. This couldn't be happening, not now. Not now that they had finally started to make a go of things._

_The tears fell from his eyes as he started the compressions. He didn't even know if he was doing it right, he had been trained to do it but he never imagined that he would ever actually have to perform it, at least not on someone he knew and loved._

_He pushed into his chest a few more times before he attempted to blow air into his mouth. Nothing seemed to be happening, "Come on Theo, don't do this to me. Please," he begged, choking on his sobs._

_Evan's ears pricked up as he heard the ambulance sirens in the distance. He continued until the paramedics rounded the corner and he backed off, letting the professionals take control._

_But they didn't stay for long, or even attempt much. They had known as soon as they got there that it was too late. Theo was dead. Evan had felt his body go limp as he fell to the floor, his hands holding on to Theo's face as he cried. The tears pouring out of him. He had felt one of the paramedics trying to prise him away but he couldn't let go. Because that would mean that it was real._

_The police soon arrived and he knew it wouldn't be long before Jack and Nikki would turn up as well. It was in their area so it was going to be their shout. But he couldn't leave. He didn't want to leave._

_An officer had pulled him to one side, doing her best to comfort him as his eyes stayed fixed in the direction of Theo's body. He couldn't even hear what she was saying to him; he didn't care for what she was saying to him. He only cared for the person that had just been ripped from him. He couldn't believe it, none of it felt real. That's when he seen Jack and Nikki, wearing their suits. Their eyes connecting with his. That's when he knew that he had to accept that this was really happening. That he had just lost his best friend, his lover._

Evan stood where Theo's body had been, the tears streaming down his cheeks now. It had felt as though all the air had left his lungs. It wasn't fair. Theo had so much potential, he had so many plans. So many ideas about life. He was taken too soon. He was just getting his life started and someone had selfishly taken that away from him. All for their own pleasure.

Of course, they weren't to know that Theo had been allergic to the drug. But Evan had wished it had been him who had taken the drink. At least there would be a chance that Theo would be alive and he would give anything for that. If it had been him, Theo would have been there. He would've phoned an ambulance for him. They would've gotten through that. They'd probably be curled up in bed watching some boxset with no worries.

But now Evan was stood in the spot Theo had died, where he had lost his life. But that still didn't explain the drugs Nikki found on him. Unless, he didn't know Theo as well he thought he did and maybe they were his. But he supposed that didn't matter now. What mattered was trying to find the person responsible for his boyfriend's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Things go from bad to worse as the detectives start pointing the finger at Evan. And what happens when Jack finds a crucial piece of evidence that could ruin reputations?


	6. Taken Too Soon - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from bad to worse as the detectives start pointing the finger at Evan. And what happens when Jack finds a crucial piece of evidence that could ruin reputations?

Evan shot up in his bed. He could feel the sweat dribbling down his face and he couldn't get enough air into his lungs. He hadn't been able to form the picture of that man in his head last night but he had managed to worm his way into his dreams and now his image was fixed on Evan's brain. He had dark blonde hair, dark brown eyes and Evan was sure he had a piercing in his left ear. He closed his eyes, trying to piece together his face once again but it wouldn't come. All he had was what he could remember. But he was sure that he'd be able to spot him out in a crowd.

And if he could spot him out in a crowd then he would be able to spot him from CCTV. But he knew he was going to have to do a lot in order to get the access to that CCTV and the club were hardly going to hand it over to him no questions asked. He didn't have the authority. But he knew who did, it was just a matter of trying to persuade him.

Evan was sure that he would be able to, it was Jack after all. And despite Jack doing his best to keep Evan away from the case for the sake of his career. He knew that if he pushed the right buttons then he'd be able to get Jack on side. He wasn't unlike Evan after all and if this case had proven anything at all, then it was that Jack and Evan were a lot more similar than they had first realised.

Evan set about getting himself ready, changing into the clothes that he would usually wear when he'd go to the Lyell. He knew Sam wouldn't be happy about seeing him there, he wasn't meant to be anywhere near the place. But he needed to do something and now he had something that could be vital in the case. Vital to proving that Theo didn't take a drug overdose, Evan hadn't provided him the drugs and that there was in fact, someone else entirely to blame.

He jotted down the key features of the man's face whilst he could still remember before shoving the piece of paper into his back pocket and heading in the usual direction he'd make to the Lyell Centre.

As he took the walk he wished, almost prayed, that he would be able to convince Jack. He could be rather unpredictable on times but Evan just hoped that even he could see that there wasn't something right about Theo's death. And that the police were just wasting their time in trying brush it off as another death caused by stupidity. Theo wasn't stupid and Evan was damned to prove it.

He swiped his card at the entrance, the door buzzing as he pushed his way in. He couldn't see anyone as he walked in, the desks vacant apart from the coats hanging on the back of chairs. They were definitely here but he just didn't know where. He lifted his head to look in the direction of Sam's office but she seemed to be elsewhere as well.

Sighing, he wandered around, peering at their desks in the hope that they had left a case file hanging around that he could have a look at. But there was nothing. He moved to his own desk, sitting down on his chair. He would've gone looking for them but if they were having a meeting with the police then he knew that he should stay out of sight, for his sake as much as theirs.

He fiddled with the stapler on his desk for what felt like the best part of half an hour before Jack was finally emerging from the hallway. He hadn't noticed Evan at first but as he heard a clunk, his head snapped to meet the boy; his eyebrows furrowing.

"Evan we've told you," he spoke, keeping his voice low. But Evan was quickly interrupting him, holding his hands up in defence as he stood up and edged closer to Jack.

"I know, I know," Evan started. "But I needed to ask you a favour."

Jack glanced over his shoulder, checking to see if anyone else had left the meeting room yet. But luckily he seemed to be the only one as of yet. He placed a hand on Evan's shoulder and guided him out of through the entrance and to the chairs just outside. He sat down opposite to Evan, holding his hands together as he looked over at him.

"Make it quick," Jack breathed. If DI Morgan or DS Turner seen them now, he was going to have a lot of explaining to do so he wanted to get this conversation over with as soon as possible.

"I was hoping that you would be able to get hold of the CCTV footage for me," he explained. He watched as Jack clenched his jaw. Knowing that he was going to retort back with something, he continued quickly. "Hear me out. I went back to the club last night to retrace my steps, in the chance that something would jog my memory. I can vaguely remember some guy talking to Theo at the bar and I think if I saw his face I'd be able to spot him out."

Jack slowly shook his head, straightening his back, "I don't know about this Evan," he breathed. "Memories aren't always that great and you don't know if this man had done anything, he could've just been having an innocent chat."

"But what if it wasn't?" Evan pushed. "If nothing comes of it then nothing comes of it but I think it'll be worth checking out. Please Jack, there was something about him when I got to the bar. He made me feel, I don't know, nervous I guess."

Evan bit down on his bottom lip trying to stop the tears, "If he put something in Theo's drink," he could feel himself choking up as he said the words out loud. He took a deep breath to try and gather himself, "If he put something in Theo's drink. It could've been mine. It could've been mine Jack. And if it had, then maybe Theo would still be alive."

The tears fell from his eyes as Jack wrapped an arm around his shoulders, holding him close as the boy sobbed once again. He could feel Evan's pain too well. It was the same pain that he had been carrying with him for the past few months, ever since Thomas. He could almost feel himself welling up as he soothed the boy but he did well to hold it all in. He needed to be the strong one for Evan's sake.

He waited for the cries to stop before he removed his arm, looking down at the boy, "Fine," he relented. "I'll see what I can do. I can't promise anything but I'll try. I'll let you know when I get hold of them."

Evan closed his eyes, feeling his body relax now that he knew he had at least one person on his side, "Thank you," his lips twitched, he was getting somewhere; finally. He went to open his mouth to speak again but his focus switched to the two people leaving the elevator. He recognised them straight away, he had seen them in many photos.

The tears that had subsided were now quickly making a return. He stared at them, unable to move from where he was seated. He wanted to rush over to them, to comfort them. To tell them that he felt their grief. That he loved Theo. But he couldn't do it.

Nikki had soon come out, noticing the two of them standing outside, "Mr and Mrs Weir?" She asked, her voice soft. "I'm very sorry for your loss. If you would just like to follow me." She gestured her head in the direction of the chapel of rest but she was quick to notice Evan watching her. Her brows furrowed as her eyes flicked between Evan and Jack, confused as to why he had suddenly turned up again. Deciding now wasn't the time to be asking questions, she continued down the hall and into the chapel.

"I'd just stay away if I were you," Jack advised, grabbing Evan's attention again. "This is a really emotional time for them, you don't how they would react speaking to you."

"But I can offer them some kind of an explanation, I was the last person to see him," Evan expressed. He pushed himself up onto his feet now, his hands smoothing down his thighs. He didn't really give Jack much chance to speak before he was making his way down the hall, following after them. He knocked on the glass. Nikki opened the door; giving Evan a disapproving look.

"Please," Evan almost whispered, trying to keep his voice calm. Nikki sighed, taking a step back to let the boy in. She probably shouldn't have but she knew that he had his best intentions at heart.

The man and the woman looked up at the sound of Evan's voice, their faces full of confusion as they stared at the young boy that had now joined them.

Evan moved into the room, "Hi," he started, his voice quiet. "You probably don't know but Theo and I, we were sort of together. I was there when he died."

Mr and Mrs Weir glanced at each other before the woman, Theo's step-mother, edged forward; engulfing Evan in her arms. The sobs were escaping him again as the woman ran her hands up and down his back.

Nikki bowed her head, leaving the room and allowing the three of them to have a moment to themselves.

"I'm so sorry," Evan weeped. "I did everything I could to save him."

"It's okay," she replied, pulling back from him and holding his arms with her hands. "Thank you."

Evan wiped the back of his hand across his eyes, removing the tears.

Mr Weir crossed the room, moving closer to Evan, "I want to ask you something though," he piped up. "And I want you to be honest with me, son. I'm not judging you and I am past judging Theo. It's too late for that. Was this to do with drugs? Was he taking them?"

Evan shook his head, "No. I can assure you that Theo didn't take any drugs. He swore down to me that he wouldn't do that," he let out a breath. "He told me about his mum and what happened to him. He said that that was the reason why he never wanted anything to do with him. He had seen it destroy her."

"So you think someone else did this?" Mr Weir pushed as Nikki walked back into the room.

Evan looked over his shoulder briefly before facing the two people, he nodded, "Yes. There's no other possible explanation," he stated. Trying to ignore the fact that he could feel Nikki's eyes boring into the back of his skull, he finished. "I'm going to do everything I can to prove that, I promise."

Nikki's lips parted as she heard what he'd said. She avoided the temptation to walk over to him and shake him. She settled with clearing her throat and grabbing his attention. Once their eyes connected, she made for the door, encouraging him to follow behind her. Luckily he seemed to have got the hint as he was hot on her tail.

"You can't make promises that you can't keep," she warned, her tone firm. Evan opened his mouth to speak but Nikki hadn't finished yet. "Why are you here? You're just making things worse for yourself," she took a deep breath. He was starting to remind her of Jack and that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Jack was painfully stubborn as it was, they didn't need another maverick running around the place. She sighed, her voice much calmer now. "I know you want to help and prove that Theo was a good person but _you_ can't do that. You can't be anywhere near this. If you want to help, you stay away."

"Nikki I," he began but he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with her. And she wasn't wrong, he knew that deep down. He just wasn't quite ready to admit it yet. "I came here to ask Jack to look at the CCTV. I can remember seeing someone talking to Theo that night and I just think it might be worth looking into."

Nikki nodded, she understood how he was feeling. She'd be lying if she said that she hadn't been in this position a million times before. And in those times she had lost all objectivity and she could never understand why Jack would get so frustrated with her. But now she was on the outside looking in, it was much more obvious. And it was heartbreaking to watch.

"Just leave it at that okay?" Nikki said harshly. "Now go home." She turned back into the chapel, not giving him the chance to answer her. Evan ran his hand over his head before making his way out of the Lyell.

* * *

It wasn't until the next day that Jack could get hold of the CCTV footage from the club, the fact he was having to go behind the detectives back made it that little bit harder. Once the footage had been emailed through he was on the phone to Evan straight away. He was going to look through it himself but he didn't know what he was looking out for but of course, there was one person who did know.

Evan didn't hesitate to make his way to the Lyell, wanting to get there as quickly as possible and confirm his suspicions. He swiped his card and he was barging his way into the building, finding Jack sat his desk. Nikki and Sam were nowhere to be seen.

"What have you got so far?" He asked, pulling his chair around to sit at Jack's desk.

"Nothing yet, I was waiting for you," Jack's lips twitched as he moved over to make more room for Evan. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Evan nodded, his eye catching Jacks, "Positive. I need to do this, I need to be sure."

Jack let out a deep breath, he couldn't be bothered to argue against the boy now. He had his doubts with the way he had been reacting to the whole situation but he had known that determination. And he had known that frustration. He couldn't exactly keep telling Evan to take a step back when he had been in that position so many times and he would never dream of backing off.

He turned to his computer, clicking on the email with the various clips of the CCTV. There were so many from that night from all the different cameras. Jack sighed, knowing that this was going to take forever and they couldn't even be sure that this man Evan was talking about had allowed himself to be seen on camera.

"I'm going to make us a drink," Jack announced, standing up and making his way over to the kitchen. If they were going to be sat there all day looking through footage then they were going to need something to keep themselves awake.

It had been a few good hours since they had started, not much had transpired between them; both too busy trying to spot out anything suspicious. There was nothing so far and Jack was beginning to grow sick of seeing people dancing and exchanging saliva. A stark reminder of how lonely he had been feeling recently.

Trying not to think about that too much, he faced Evan, "How did you know this Theo?" He spoke, breaking the silence that had settled amongst them.

Evan almost jumped at the sound of Jack's voice, his mind completely focused on the footage playing in front of him. He gulped, not expecting the question. In between his fight for Theo's justice he had forgotten to even talk about him properly. And tell everyone just how much he had meant to him. But he supposed they would've guessed by his determination throughout this whole case, "I don't know where to begin," he chuckled. "I met him about a year ago, through a friend. We clicked straight away but nothing happened till that night," he could feel the lump in his throat forming, he swallowed it down.

"We had been dancing around each other the whole time, too scared of what might happen if we took things further," he explained, the tears forming all over again. "But I guess we were right to be scared. I just can't believe this has happened. I get a chance to share my life with someone and then it's ripped away from me. How is that fair?"

Jack shook his head slowly, "Life, unfortunately, isn't fair," he breathed, Evan's words striking a nerve. He couldn't stop his mind from wandering to Nikki and how they had spent the best part of eight years pining for each other but never actually doing anything about it, both too stubborn for their own good. "But listen to me Evan, you're young. You've got your whole life ahead of you and there are going to be people that you meet that will take you by surprise without you even knowing it. I lost someone, I was a couple of years younger than you but I loved her. She was my whole world and she was taken from me. And I still think about her and what could've been if she made different decisions. Or if I had made different decisions. But it does get better, trust me. The pain eases."

Evan smiled at Jack's words knowing that he truly meant it, "And you've got Nikki now," he dared to put forward, his eyes searching Jack's face for a reaction. He had always been skeptical about their relationship, always feeling as though he had walked in on them having a moment. But Jack being true to himself didn't give much away, just letting out a breath and letting his lips twitch fondly. "She told me about Thomas and about what happened," he didn't know where that had come from. But he supposed, given the circumstances, that Jack would be able to understand how he was feeling. He'd probably be one of the few people who would.

"Did she?" Jack raised an eyebrow, curious as to when and how that conversation happened. "What did she tell you?"

"She told me that Thomas died to save your life," he began. He bowed his head, regretting bringing the topic up now. "Sorry I shouldn't have said anything."

"No it's okay," Jack interrupted quickly. "It's just I haven't spoken about it since. Well, since it happened really." He didn't really want to talk about it, the pain still very much there but as he looked at Evan he knew that the boy was just trying to seek some comfort. For someone to really know how he was feeling. So, for the first time since he had found out that Thomas had died fighting to save his life, he spoke about it.

"Thomas was…well, he was _Thomas_ ," Jack laughed, unable to find the right word that would be best to describe the man. "We didn't always see eye to eye but he'd be there, supporting you no matter what. When Nikki told me about what had happened, I didn't process it for a while. It didn't feel real. But then, I'd lie in bed thinking about it. And thinking about how Thomas would still be alive if I didn't go to that crime scene. If I didn't end up in hospital."

Jack could feel himself growing breathless, the panic rising up his throat. But he did his best to carry on, "I'd be awake for hours, just wondering. Over thinking every little detail," he allowed himself to slow his breathing, taking deep breaths. "I still can't process it now. Every time I walk into the meeting room, I expect to see his stupid, smug grin staring back at me. But I don't. And it still hurts. And then I think about Nikki and Clarissa and how much worse it is for them. They watched him die."

"Just because they watched him die doesn't mean it's any worse for them than it is for you," Evan offered. "You're allowed to suffer too, Jack."

Jack looked away from him, not wanting his emotions to get the better of him, he needed to be the strong one here. He was meant to be supporting Evan through his time of need not the other way round, "It's my fault Thomas died," he barely let out.

"No it's not Jack," Evan placed a hand on his arm. "From what Nikki said, Thomas didn't want to be saved. He didn't want help. You can't blame yourself and I suppose that I can't blame myself for what happened to Theo. I wish it didn't and I hope now that we can find this man but it's like you say. Life is cruel. It takes the ones we love. But that is not of _our_ making."

Jack's eyes scanned over the young boy in front of him. He was amazed at how someone so young could be so wise. Not moments ago he was all but blaming himself for Theo's death and now he was here telling him that it wasn't and that Jack shouldn't blame himself for what happened to Thomas. He wished he could have had that mentality at that age. But then he suspected that that was the innocence coming out of Evan. The innocence that Jack craved.

She didn't know why she had stopped to listen, it wasn't any of her business. But she couldn't stop the tear slipping down her cheek as she heard Jack speaking. As she heard Jack actually getting things off his chest and talking about Thomas. She almost felt offended that he had chosen Evan to open up to but with everything that had happened in the past couple of days she wasn't surprised. Of course he was going to open up to someone that was going through almost the same thing as him.

She couldn't help but feel hurt by that however, she had talked about her mother with him. That wasn't something that she had done often. She had hoped that by her getting things off her chest then it would encourage Jack to do the same. She tried not to feel that way, it was down to Jack who he wanted to speak to after all but it still got to her. She wiped the tears away, turning and heading back in the direction of the observation room, wanting a moment to herself.

Jack opened his mouth to speak but Evan was suddenly pointing at the screen, "That's him!" He exclaimed. Jack was quick to pause the footage and zoomed in on the mans face. It was the same man Evan had seen in his dreams, the exact same man. The dark blonde hair and the dark eyes. Now they knew what he looked liked, it was much easier for them to search for him in the crowds of people.

They continued sifting through the various videos in the hopes of finding something that would incriminate this man but there was nothing. They had caught a moment where the man had spoken to Theo but that was it. There was not a single thing to suggest that he had tampered with Theo's drink, much to Evan's disappointment.

But that wasn't going to stop him or throw him off. Now he knew exactly what he was looking for, it was going to be easier to spot him out now. Evan plucked his coat from the back of his chair and pushed himself up to his feet.

Jack furrowed his brows, "Where are you going?" His eyes following the boy.

"I've got something I need to do," and then he was rushing out of the door again without a second glance. He had a plan now, all he had to do was execute it.

Jack dug into his pocket, pulling out his phone and dialling DI Morgans number. Just as he put the phone down from informing the detectives of the new development, he received an email notification. He clicked the tab open, the results were back on the test that he did for the bag of cocaine.

"Shit," he said under his breath as the name popped up on his screen. His heart was racing. "Nikki," he shouted, knowing that she was hanging around somewhere.

Nikki pulled her eyebrows together at Jack's panicked face as she walked into the room, "What's wrong?" She asked, stopping by his desk.

Jack had placed the phone to his ear, calling through to the lab for a retest. He pointed at the screen for Nikki to have a look for herself. Her stomach dropped to the floor as she realised what it had meant.

"You don't think there could have been any cross contamination?" Her eyes connected with Jack's. "He was so sure that Theo hadn't taken anything and that he hadn't known it was there so how are his fingerprints on there?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "You're guess is as good as mine but I'm not going to be happy if we find out that he's been lying to us."

Jack managed to get through to the lab and he ordered a retest as soon as possible, wanting to get the results back today so they could be absolutely sure. He decided that it was probably best to sit on the information for the time being, just until they were certain. But if Evan's fingerprints were on the bag then Jack would have no choice but to turn him in.

The detectives arrived soon after, both of them wanting to review this footage for themselves. Jack had set up the monitor in the observation room and selected the clips containing the images of this man.

"What is it about this guy then?" DI Morgan looked at the faces around the room. "I haven't seen anything wrong so far, it's just a man in a club."

Jack glanced over at Nikki briefly before turning back to DI Morgan, "Evan thinks that he may have been the one to spike Theo's drink," he explained. "He had seen him talking to Theo when he came out of the bathroom, there were two drinks on the bar. It would've been a perfect opportunity for that to happen."

"Is there any physical evidence of this?" DI Morgan retorted, now pointing his finger at the video. "Is there anything on that to prove this?"

Jack shook his head, "No."

"Right," DI Morgan stood up, DS Turner copying his actions. "I think it's about time we had an official chat with this Evan Myles, don't you? Where is he?"

The panic was rising up inside Jack as his eye caught with Sam's, "I don't know. He left when he saw the man. He said he had something to do."

"And you're only telling me this now?" He spat. He was now looking at Sam. "I need an address."

Sam moved, the last thing she wanted to do was hand Evan over to the police but she couldn't say no. She'd be in as much trouble otherwise. She left Jack and Nikki behind as she went to go find an address.

"You're going to have to tell them Jack," Nikki warned, making her way over to him. "When are the results coming back?"

"In the next hour or so," he sighed. "It can't be him Nikki. The way he was talking about him earlier, he," he stopped. He didn't know what to say. What to believe. He thought he could trust Evan, that he had been true to his word. But you can't hide from facts and you can't hide from evidence. He wanted to scream. If Evan had been behind all of this then he had well and truly played them.

Jack pushed past Nikki, leaving the room in search of a quiet place to get some air.

* * *

The detectives were able to track down Evan, finding him at his apartment. They had brought him down to the station although he was somewhat reluctant about the whole ordeal. Evan was tapping his foot up and down as he waited for them to come in.

"Right," DI Morgan announced, slamming a file down on the table before sitting down in his chair. "I want a rundown of the events from that night please. Every little detail you can possibly think of," he was leaning his elbows on the desk, his hands clasped together.

Evan glanced at the two men in front of him, wondering what was happening. And just why they had brought him in. He had known Jack would phone them eventually to let them know about the CCTV, he just hadn't quite anticipated that they would be pulling him in for questioning.

"Well," Evan cleared his throat. "Theo and I got to the club at around twelve, half twelve. I can't quite remember. Everything was fine, we danced for a bit and then he went to go get us some drinks whilst I went to the toilet. When I came out, I seen a man talking to him. Our drinks were on the bar."

"Did you see him do anything to the drinks?" DS Turner piped up, taking DI Morgan by surprise who just shot him a look.

Evan shook his head, "No. But it didn't seem right, there was something about him," he furrowed his brows as he thought harder about the moment. "I went to get Theo, we danced and had our drinks. Then he said he was going to go get some air. I remember that he was stumbling as he left. I didn't think anything of it at the time, we'd been drinking a fair bit beforehand. I went to follow him but I bumped into an old friend. We talked for a few minutes and then I went outside. And that's when I seen Theo lying on the floor."

He swallowed the lump in his throat; the images flashing through his mind again. "I tried to save him but I knew it was too late. And by the time the ambulance arrived, he was gone. There was nothing I could've done to bring him back."

"That's what happened?" DI Morgan pushed.

"Of what I can remember anyway, it's still a little hazy here and there," he continued. "I assume that Jack has shown you the footage of the man?"

"Yes," DI Morgan confirmed. "But he also failed to show me anything incriminating. From what we can see this man was just spending his night out in a club. You, on the other hand, I have my doubts. For all we know you could've slipped the rohypnol to him yourself."

"Why would I do that?" Evan threw back, straightening himself up in the chair. Almost feeling the hairs on the back of his neck standing up on end.

DI Morgan shrugged, "I don't know, you tell me," he spoke with a calmness about him. As if he knew he was right and he had no worries about that. "Maybe you thought he wouldn't like you unless you drugged him. Now you weren't to know that he'd be allergic to the stuff. You've worked on crime scenes, you know how they work so you formulate this story. You use Jack to get you the CCTV and you pick out a random person to use as a scapegoat. It's very clever, I'll give you that but I can see through it. You even went to the effort of planting drugs."

"Well you're wrong and you have no hard evidence to prove that I had anything to do with it," Evan replied firmly, his lips set in a straight line as he glared at the detective; the anger bubbling up inside him. It was bad enough that Theo had been drugged and henceforth killed but the moment he finds the person who could be responsible for it, the police start pointing the finger at him. He jumped at the knock at the door.

DI Morgan did all the formalities for the sake of the tape and left the room. Evan watched the door carefully, his eyes glancing over at the mirror. He prayed for evidence that would put him in the clear. He hoped that Jack had managed to find something that would prove his innocence. But as he caught the smile on DI Morgan's face as he walked back into the room, Evan couldn't stop his heart sinking to the floor.

DS Turner clicked play on the tape as they carried on with the interview.

DI Morgan placed a new piece of paper down on the desk, finding himself grinning at this new piece of evidence as if it was gold dust, "I think I gave you too much credit then. Not as clever as I thought. So, do you want to tell me more about this bag of cocaine that we found in Theo's pockets."

Evan shrugged his shoulders, "What about it? It wasn't his, he didn't take drugs."

"So whose was it?"

"I don't know," Evan retorted. "I don't know how it got there. He didn't have it when we went in."

"Okay," DI Morgan strung out. "Different question. How did your fingerprints end up on the bag?"

"What?" Fell from his lips in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He couldn't understand how any of it was possible. He had never touched drugs in his life yet somehow his fingerprints ended up on a bag of cocaine that he never seen in his life. He ran his hands through his hair.

"Talk to us Evan, there's no hiding from this," DI Morgan pursued. "Explain to us how they ended up there. Did you plant them after you realised that you were the one who killed him? Were you hoping that if we found them then we would just write this off as a drug overdose and that you'd get away with it?"

"Have you not been listening to what I've been saying since this happened?" Evan's eyes darted between the detectives, an incredulous look on his face as he flung his hands into the air. "You were the ones who wanted to leave it, I was the one who told you not to. Who told you that Theo would never do that, would never take drugs. So why would I do that if I killed him? Surely I would just sit back and let it happen. Let you jump to that conclusion."

"You wanted to cover your own back," DI Morgan suggested. "But you ended up shooting yourself in the foot by constantly arguing against our findings. You though that if you stayed quiet, then we'd suspect you more. You've played a dangerous game Evan but unfortunately you haven't won."

"This is bullshit," he shook his head, almost wanting to laugh at the ridiculous situation he had now found himself in.

"So please, tell us how your fingerprints ended up on a piece of evidence we found on your friends dead body," DI Morgan pushed further, hoping that his choice of words would strike a nerve and cause the young boy to snap and admit everything. It didn't seem to do the trick however.

Evan closed his eyes, his memory running through every event that night. There was not a single moment he could think of when he may have come into contact with drugs. His first thought had been when he went to the bathroom, but there was nothing. He walked around in his brain, to the moment Theo left and he had bumped into Lucy. And then it clicked into place.

_He turned, the beam spreading across his face as he seen his childhood friend running in his direction. He wrapped his arms around her, holding on to her tightly._

_"Lucy oh my gosh," he exclaimed, picking her up and almost squeezing all of the breath out of her. He eventually put her down. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were in Manchester?"_

_"I was, but I wanted to come down to London for the week," she was speaking into his ear, the music seeming to have gotten louder._

_His attention was grabbed by someone bumping into him, a bag of white powder dropping to the floor. Without thinking, Evan bent down and picked the bag up; handing it back to the man._

_"Sorry about that," the man had spoken, taking the bag and heading outside._

_Evan didn't have much time to think over the odd interaction as Lucy's voice was pulling him back into the conversation._

_"How have you been? You're doing forensics aren't you?"_

Her voice trailed off in his memory as his heart started racing. The image being so clear and vivid in his mind now. It had been the man he had seen talking to Theo, the man who they had found on the CCTV. It was him. He opened his eyes, connecting them with DI Morgan's.

"When I was speaking to my old friend," he began. "The man who I had seen speaking to Theo pushed past me. He dropped a bag, it must've been the same one. I picked it up and I handed it back to him. That's how my fingerprints got on there."

DI Morgan pursed his lips, "And you've just conveniently remembered that? Are you sure it was this man that you've been talking about? Clubs are dark, you often mistake people in them."

"I am sure," he spoke through gritted teeth. "I can see it so clearly now. He must've seen Theo leaving on his own so he followed after him but seen him on the floor. My fingerprints being on that bag would've been the perfect alibi so he put it in his pocket. So, if it came to it, you'd just point the finger at me and he'd get away with it."

DI Morgan laughed with a mocking tone, "You expect us to believe that?"

"I'm about to become a forensic scientist, why on earth would I be stupid enough to plant drugs on someone that had my fingerprints on?" Evan threw back.

"But you were panicking," DI Morgan raised an eyebrow at him. "You didn't expect him to have an allergic reaction. You did what you thought was best in the moment."

"I didn't do this," Evan interrupted, feeling his anger getting the better of him as he slammed a fist down on the table. He rested his forehead against his palm. "You need to talk to Lucy, she'll confirm it. I have her number somewhere."

"Fine," DI Morgan relented, standing up and pausing the tape again.

It had been a couple of hours since the police had questioned Evan, they had been in the middle of talking to Lucy when Jack had phoned them to tell them that he had found something they should take a look at.

Sam, Nikki, Jack and the detectives had set themselves up in the observation room just as they had that morning. Jack clicked to the footage from the hallway, he had managed to spot out Evan talking to a girl when a man had pushed past him, dropping something that looked remarkably like the drugs they found on Theo's body. The tape played out to show Evan picking it up and handing it back to the man before he continued his conversation with the girl.

The sigh that came from DI Morgan caught their attention.

"What is it?" Jack questioned, his face screwing up.

"It still could've been him boss," DS Turner piped up. "For all we know they could've cooked up this whole plan to make it look like that. To make them look innocent."

DI Morgan shook his head, "It won't stand up in court. Besides that girl confirmed it. We're going to have let him go."

"Finally," Jack exasperated. Facing the screen again to pull up the picture he'd managed to get of the man. "Now please tell me you're going to try and find this man."

"Were there any other fingerprints or DNA on the bag?" DI Morgan questioned, feeling deflated now.

Jack shook his head, "He could've been wearing gloves, it's quite hard to tell on the tape because it's so dark so I can't confirm it but I say it's pretty likely given that only Evan's were on there and we can see the man handling the bag."

"But how would he know that Theo was going to have an allergic reaction?" DS Turner queried. "If you're saying that he went to the effort of planting the drugs to incriminate Evan, then how did he know?"

"Maybe he didn't," Nikki interrupted. "Maybe he panicked and saw his opportunity. It doesn't look as though he bumped into Evan on purpose and Evan did mention that this man had been at the bar when he spoke to Theo."

"Why would he be wearing gloves then?"

"He's just drugged a young boy's drink," Nikki could almost feel herself getting annoyed at the fact that she was having to spell it out to them. "I'm sure what you can guess what his intentions were, he wouldn't want his DNA to be traced so he wears the gloves."

DI Morgan gathered the notes up in front of him as he stood up, "Well we best start looking into it then and don't worry, we'll let your friend go," he quipped as he left the room.

Sam, Nikki and Jack shared a look between them, rolling their eyes but all feeling rather relieved now that they had hard proof that showed Evan had nothing to do with this. He was innocent.

* * *

They spent the next couple of days trying to track down this man but they had no such luck. Evan had managed to convince himself to stay away but he was still itching to do something. To do anything to help. He had been on the phone to Jack every couple of hours to check in and see if there were any news. But nothing.

He knew that the police were slowly starting to give up. All they had was a picture of his face after all. They had nothing else to trace him. The footage they had found wasn't exactly incriminating either, they just had Evan's word to go off.

He had received a phone call from Jack that morning, asking him to come in. When he got there he couldn't understand why Jack had even bothered telling him to come into the Lyell, he had only wanted to inform him that the police were going to be taking a step back from the search until anything started to yield results.

"I doubt that they're going to find him," Jack tried to speak as calmly as possible. "They're going to give it another couple of days and then they're going to close the case."

"What?" Evan took a step back in surprise.

"These people know how to work the system and unfortunately they know how to get away with it," Jack sighed. "He's probably a million miles away by now."

"This is bullshit," Evan spat.

"I know," Jack bowed his head.

"Can't you do anything?" Evan pushed.

"What do you want me to do?" Jack huffed. "There's nothing I can do, it's all down to the police now. It's their job to find him."

"If it was Nikki in my position you'd do something," Evan retorted, not quite knowing where he was going with this but he could feel himself growing annoyed.

"Now that's not fair," Jack stood, holding his hands up as he edged closer to Evan. He didn't want to lose his temper, the boy was distraught and that was understandable. But he was starting to hit a nerve now. "I know you're upset but this is just the truth of the matter unfortunately. I wanted to let you know because I know how much this whole situation is hurting you."

"If this was anyone else you would be going out of your way to help them," Evan scoffed, backing away and heading out of the building.

Jack called after him, not wanting to leave things the way they were but he knew that there was no point in chasing him. He was angry, he needed to calm down. Jack shook his head as he made his way down the hall, in the direction of the locker room.

This was starting to become a daily occurrence now, a way to beat the emotions out of himself. But at least now he wasn't in some gym five miles away so if he was needed then he could be found straight away. His mind wandered to Thomas as he remembered the day he had brought the punch bag in. It had been a sort of Christmas present from Thomas, Nikki and Clarissa; the three of them clubbing together to give him something that would benefit them as much as it would him.

Nikki walked down the hallway, she had been searching for Jack. She'd been unable to find him at his desk so she had guessed that he was elsewhere. She just wanted to talk to him, the conversation she had overheard between Evan and Jack the other day still playing on her mind.

As she pushed the door into the locker room, she gasped as she shut her eyes quickly, bringing her hands up in defence, "Sorry," she managed to get out as she started backing up to the door.

Jack secured the towel around the lower half of his body as he chuckled, his whole body now a bright red as he watched the small blonde woman trying to manoeuvre her way out of the room with her eyes closed.

"Nikki it's alright," he breathed, moving to sit down on the bench in the middle of the room. "You can open your eyes."

Nikki cautiously opened her eyes again, feeling the blush creeping up her neck. She had seen him topless more times than she would like to admit but she would never get used to it. To that stirring in the pit of her stomach that made every nerve in her body tingle. She gulped, trying to calm herself as she stepped further into the room and sitting down next to him. She could feel the heat from his shower radiating off him. Either that or her own temperature was rising.

"What did you want?" Jack asked, thankful that his voice remained steady.

She had been so distracted that she had completely forgotten what she had even came in here for. Her breath hitched as his eyes connected with hers, finding her eyes drifting from his and down to his lips. The goosebumps erupted all over her skin as she realised that he was doing the same.

It suddenly came back to her, the reason she had come here in the first place, "I just wanted to talk," she let out.

"About what?"

Nikki turned her head away from him, breaking the contact. She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. She wasn't sure why she was psyching herself up, it was just Jack. She supposed that she didn't want it to come across in a way that made her sound annoyed because she wasn't. She just wanted to understand.

"I heard you talking the other day," she started, looking at him once again. "You and Evan. You were talking about Thomas."

Jack's eyes searched hers, wondering where this was suddenly coming from. It had been a good few days since that conversation and Jack hadn't really thought twice about it. If anything it had slipped his mind despite him feeling better for it. He stayed silent, wanting Nikki to continue with her point.

"I'm not offended Jack," she clarified, noticing the confusion in his face. "I suppose I just wanted to know how you've known me for the best part of eight years yet you found yourself trusting and opening up to someone you've only known for a few months."

Jack's face screwed up briefly as he shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I guess I knew that he understood how I had been feeling for the past couple of months."

Nikki nodded slowly, trying to make sense of it, "Do you feel better? Now that you've got things off your chest."

"I suppose," Jack answered. "It's got nothing to do with you though Nikki. He was struggling and I wanted to let him know that he wasn't on his own. That he knew that there was at least one person who knew what it felt like to lose someone so suddenly and have it feel as though it was your own fault."

"Good. You can talk to me as well," she offered. "You know that."

"It's just different with you Nikki," he was growing breathless now. The situation they were currently in dawning on him. He was sat there half naked, only a towel covering him and she was insisting on having a heart to heart with him. He wanted to chuckle, she always chose the best moments to talk. He tried to tear his eyes away from her, knowing that if he kept the eye contact things would start spilling over the edge. Things they had buried years ago.

She wanted to stay quiet, to let him speak but there was nothing coming out of his mouth. His lips were parted as if he wanted to say something but he was too scared to. She urged for him to say it, for them to start that conversation but it never came. The two of them being too stubborn to let that happen. She smoothed her hands down her legs before standing up. She was looking down at him now, something she didn't get to do often.

"I better get going," her voice an almost whisper. She swallowed. "Leave you to actually get some clothes on." Her lips twitched at the faint smile on his face. She moved her body around, heading in the direction of the door. Her hand stopped on the handle, the temptation to turn back around, to let it happen, bearing too much for her.

She had managed to bury it all down when she started her relationship with Matt. It had taken months to scrub away the feeling of his lips pressed into her skin. The feeling of his hands caressing every curve of her body. He had been so unexpectedly gentle with her. She had seen the force behind his punches, she knew how much damage he could do with his fists. But when it was just the two of them, in that room in Mexico, he was soft. Delicate. Like she was made of glass and he was scared of breaking her.

His mouth had kissed away all the cuts and bruises she had managed to gain from that box. He stayed with her all night. He held her when she cried; when she woke up in the middle of the night, the panic attack taking over her. He calmed her down, he soothed her with his voice. But she left him behind, she booked a flight to New York and she left him. She had so desperately wanted to stay, to let him protect her with his arms but she was scared. She was scared that if she gave in to her feelings, gave in to what her heart had so desperately yearned for, then he would just leave her like everyone else had.

Nikki could feel his eyes burning in the back of her head, he was watching her. Waiting for her to turn around, to give in. But just as she had left him before, she left him again. She pulled the door open, swiping the tears away as she made her way down the hallway once again.

Jack let out a breath as he watched her go, watched her walk away again. He ran his hand through his hair, thinking about all the things he could've said. All the things he had wanted to say. He thought things would be different after he got released from the hospital. After he had finally said those three words that he had been wanting to tell her for years. But she never brought it up, probably thinking that it wasn't intended for her. But then, he never brought it up either.

He knew that she wasn't angry with him for talking to Evan, she just felt left out and he couldn't blame her. She had opened up about her mother, something she had never done before. She welcomed him into that part of her life and he turned away from her. But it wasn't that. That wasn't his intention. He did want to talk to her.

He wanted to tell her every little detail about his life. He wanted to share every part of him with her. But he was scared, as she was. The moment they took that step over the line was the moment they would have to actually talk about what happened. He had tried to forget about it, finding himself growing interested in other people just so he could remove the image of her that was burned into his memory.

But he'd close his eyes and she was there. His fingers running through her blonde hair. Her breathless kisses. The taste of her tears on the tip of his tongue. The way she had left marks in his flesh for weeks after. She had been like no one else and that made it harder to get her off his mind. No one compared to the way she had made him feel.

It had been years of pent up frustration, he had her finally calling out his name in ecstasy. But it was the wrong time, it was too soon. It got mixed up with all the trauma. Mixed up with all the things that Nikki had trained herself to move away from, to forget. But it wasn't just Nikki, he had blocked it off in his mind as well. Convinced himself that he would only hurt her if he continued to love her.

And now here they were, the feelings bubbling under the surface again; waiting for something to give way. They both knew how it felt to be completely exposed to one another but they were both absolutely terrified of letting go. Of letting things happen. He pushed the thoughts down as best he could.

* * *

The bright lights and blaring music were bringing it all back again. He knew that this would be the one way to find this man. He didn't want to do it, he didn't want to put himself at risk. But he had to do it for Theo. And if the police didn't want to do it then he was going to have to be the one.

Evan got to the front of the queue, flashing his ID to the bouncers just as he had countless of times. He wandered through the hall, pushing down the memories that were threatening to flash across his mind. He needed to concentrate, he needed to keep his mind focused on one face. He had no doubts that he would be here, looking for his next victim. Especially if he had been doing this regularly and especially if he thought that he had gotten away with what had happened to Theo.

He walked to the bar, the place most likely to find him. He ordered himself a soft drink, he needed to keep his head clear. He sat down on one of the stools, his eyes eager and alert to see the face that he hadn't been able to get off his mind ever since he had remembered it. He could feel his heart racing, he knew this was risky and who knew what trouble he could land himself in but he felt as though this was something he needed to do.

He sat there for what must've been two hours, he had lost count of how many glasses of coke he had managed to get through but he knew that the toilet was starting to call his name. He didn't want to leave, just in case. It would be just his luck that the moment that he left the bar the guy would appear. But he needed to go and he supposed that if he was quick it wouldn't matter.

He pushed himself away from the bar and made his way to the bathroom. His heart stopped as he looked up from washing his hands, it was him. He could almost feel his whole body shaking and suddenly he didn't know what to do with himself. His mind had gone over and over about all the things he had wanted to say, wanted to do. But now that he had seen him, he froze. He glared at him as he went about his business.

And then he followed him to the bar, he sat a few seats away, needing a few more moments to formulate his plan. He watched his movements carefully, wondering what was going on in his head. He was looking around the room, no doubt trying to pick out someone else he was going to take advantage of. That's when their eyes connected from across the bar. Evan's breath hitched but he knew it was time. He plastered the best smile on his face that he could manage and he headed towards the man.

He sat down on the stool next to him, "I'm Evan," he held his hand out for the man to shake. He took it, shaking it firmly.

"Jamie," he replied, a sickly smug smirk on his face.

Evan wanted to be sick, he wanted to punch him. He wanted to do anything. The different scenarios ran through his head, the vivid images worrying him. But he continued, he needed to sweeten this _Jamie_ up before he stuck the knife in.

"So what brings you here Jamie?" He asked, doing his best to come across as friendly as possible. He was biting the inside of his cheek to try and keep it all in.

"Probably the same reason you're here, _Evan,_ is it?" He winked making Evan's skin crawl.

Evan shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, I suppose," he sighed, knowing that he was going to have to start getting the ball rolling otherwise he wasn't going to get anywhere. "I lost someone recently actually."

"Oh I'm so sorry," Jamie reached over, placing a hand on Evan's arm. Evan was quick to flinch away. "That can't have been easy for you."

He shook his head, "No it wasn't," Evan bit his lip as he thought of all the ways he was going to word it. How he was going to do it slowly, to catch him out. To actually hear the man admit to what he had done. "It was just under two weeks ago now." He looked at the man, trying to gauge a reaction. But there was nothing, the man's face remaining stoic.

Evan carried on, "Do you want to go outside for some air?"

"Sure," Jamie nodded but he grabbed Evan's arm stopping him from heading in the direction of the smoking area. "Not there, come with me."

Evan had no choice but to follow him. He couldn't exactly abandon ship now, so he trailed after him as they walked back out of the club entrance. He was expecting for them to come to a halt but Jamie kept going. He urged for him to stop, rather wanting to stay near crowds of people that would see them if anything started happening. But that was the exact opposite of what Jamie wanted.

Evan's heart was racing now and the panic was rising up his throat. He reached into his pocket, scrolling down to Jack's name. He was about to click on the number when he felt everything going black and his body tumbling down to the floor. There was a crack as his head connected with the ground. His nose was throbbing as he clawed his hands out in front of him, trying to find something, anything, to get away. He couldn't see anything, his eyes fused shut. He slowly opened them, the blur of the man looming over him. His hands gripped at his chin.

"You think I don't know who you are," he spat. "I knew straight away. You and your stupid prick of a boyfriend. Why couldn't you just leave it alone?"

Evan dug his fingernails into the mans wrist, trying to get his hands off him, "You killed him. Just admit it," he struggled to get out as the mans hands moved to his neck, pushing down on his airway. "You drugged his drink. You wanted to take advantage of him. But it didn't go your way. You panicked. You knew I had touched those drugs. So you put them in his pocket."

Evan gasped for breath as the mans hands tightened. He struggled even more, his body squirming underneath him.

"You know, you're not really in a position to be accusing me of anything," Jamie spoke though gritted teeth, watching the blood draining from Evan's face. "You should've just left it alone and then maybe I wouldn't be having to do this."

He could see the dark spots forming in his eyes and he couldn't get the air in his lungs quick enough, he was losing. He grappled more, trying to use his last ounce of power to get the man off him but it was no use. He was losing his energy quickly. He gave up, letting it happen, letting the darkness take over him. His body relaxed, "Screw you," managed to escape his mouth before it went black.

* * *

Jack and Nikki had spent the whole day ignoring each other. Not necessarily on purpose just more out of the fact that neither wanted that conversation to come up again. It had made things rather awkward, especially when Jack had been making his goodbyes. The two of them working late and into the early hours of the morning. Jack had been the first to cave, his bed calling him. But as he heard his phone ringing and Evan's name popping up, he stopped. His face screwed up as he wondered why on earth Evan would be ringing him at this time in the morning.

He answered the phone, he couldn't hear much and at first he thought he had just accidentally called him. But as he listened more closely he could hear someone speaking and it almost sounded like they were fighting. He ran back into Nikki, his face full of panic as he put his phone on speaker so she could hear as well.

Nikki looked up at Jack, "Shit," she was already pulling her coat from the back of her chair and grabbing her car keys without a second thought. "Do you know where he is?"

"No but I can probably guess," the both of them were moving quickly to Nikki's car as she started the engine and sped off in the direction of the club they had gone to not two weeks ago. Jack kept his phone on just in case they had got the wrong end of the stick but he called out for Evan's name and didn't get an answer.

Nikki pulled up in a spot as the two of them headed down the street shouting for Evan. To any passerby they probably looked insane but that was the least of their worries. Nikki stopped, trying to focus her mind as she heard scuffles coming from an alleyway. Her head turned, her stomach dropping as she saw a man looming over someone and it looked as though he was strangling whoever was underneath him. Her body didn't move as she called for Jack as loudly as she possibly could.

That's when her body seemed to kick in but Jack had beaten her to it. He was ripping the man off Evan and pushing him down to the ground, not hesitating to pummel his fist into his face. Jack felt the fury surge through his body, seeing the man trying kill Evan striking something up inside him again and he let rip.

Nikki didn't know who to go to first, she needed to see if Evan was okay, if he was still alive but he needed to stop Jack before he ended up committing a murder. She was reassured when she caught Evan moving, coughing and spluttering as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes connected with Nikki's and she knew he was telling her to see to Jack.

She did her best to pull Jack away from the man and it wasn't exactly easy given the difference between her and Jack. But with all her might she managed to prise him away from him. She got in between the two of them, her hands resting on Jack as she pushed him away. His chest rising and falling against her palm. Happy that Jack wasn't going to do anything she turned her attention back to Evan. He needed to get into hospital as soon as possible, he was breathing which was a good sign but anything could've happened. She seen the blood on the floor and she had caught sight of the wound on his head.

She was by his side as Jack was on the phone, calling for the police and the ambulance. The man hadn't moved much. He just groaned as he rolled around the floor. Not that she cared all that much but she was glad he wasn't dead because at least it meant that Jack was safe.

Her one hand was rested on Evan's cheek as she tried her best to soothe the boy, her other hand squeezing his, "It's okay, you're going to be okay," she whispered, feeling herself welling up. She glanced over at Jack checking that he was still there. Thankfully he was.

They heard the sirens in the distance and everything seemed to move so fast. The red and blue flashing lights, the paramedics bundling Evan into the back of the ambulance. Nikki decided to go with him as Jack stayed behind to give his statement to the police. Nikki handed him her car keys saying that she will meet him at the hospital.

She hadn't let go of Evan's hand the whole way there. He was awake and alive but he had no idea of what was going on. She tried to talk to him, to calm him down. His eyes had stayed connected with hers and she just hoped that he wasn't looking at her in confusion. She wished that he knew who she was.

They eventually reached the hospital, Nikki sitting in the waiting area just outside his room as they checked him over. She'd bought herself one of the coffees from the machine, finding that the moment she relaxed was the moment she realised just how tired she was. She still hadn't heard anything from Jack either and she was starting to get worried. She was about to get her phone out when she heard him bursting through the door not looking particularly happy.

He huffed as he sat down on the seat next to her.

"Everything okay?" Nikki questioned as she glanced over at him, she was quick to spot the graze on his cheek and she knew he was going to have a black eye in the morning.

"Perfect," he rolled his eyes.

"What did the police say?" She pushed, handing the coffee over to him. He took a sip from the plastic cup before he passed it back to her.

"Nothing. They've arrested him. I've been on the phone to DI Morgan to let him know what had happened, they're going to question him tomorrow," he explained before he looked at her. He noticed the bags under her eyes and he avoided the temptation to reach out and tuck the piece of hair that was hanging down behind her ear. "How is he?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "They're still checking him over. I think they're going to send him off for a CT scan soon," Nikki moved her hand out, her finger brushing across his cheek. She expected him to flinch away from her but he stayed there. "You should probably get that checked out."

Jack took hold of her wrist, the smile spreading across his face as he caught her breath hitching at the contact, "Well I just so happen to know this brilliant doctor who would take a look at it for me."

Nikki raised an eyebrow at him as she rolled her eyes. Only Jack would choose to start flirting in this situation, "And how do you know that this doctor wants to _take a look at it?_ " she mocked his Irish accent causing him to chuckle as she dropped her hand.

"Well, _this_ doctor likes to look after me all the time," he threw back but his smile dropped as his eyes danced between her eyes and lips. Things growing serious between them again. "Nikki, what we were talking about earlier. I do want to talk to you-"

"Jack it's okay I understand-" she interjected.

"No Nikki," he paused, trying to gather himself. Perhaps the waiting area of the hospital wasn't the best place to let everything spill over the edge but he supposed that this was the place to get everything off your chest. Or at least it was for him. "I'm just scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I think you know," the air was thick around them, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He inched closer to her slowly, expecting her to back away but he found that she was copying his actions.

"Well you shouldn't be scared," she whispered, the goosebumps erupting as she felt his breath running along her lip. Their noses brushed against each other as their lips met in the middle for the briefest of seconds. She had known how they felt under hers. Their softness. She had felt them hot against her skin. Her stomach flipped as those memories were becoming a reality again. But the moment was short lived as the nurse came out of the room asking for her.

She could see Jack bowing his head in the corner of her eye as she faced the nurse. "He's awake and asking for you," she smiled sweetly.

Nikki looked over her shoulder at Jack who just nodded as the two of them stood up and headed into the room. The sight of the young boy bloodied and bruised breaking her heart but the smile was still there underneath his swollen face. She edged closer into the room, feeling Jack close behind her. But he had walked around to the other side of the bed.

"You and me need to have a word," he warned jokingly as Evan watched him. "But I think that can wait until later, eh?"

"How are you feeling?" Nikki asked softly as she perched herself on the edge of his bed, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it gently.

"Like shit," Evan chuckled, wincing at the pain that was surging around his body despite the amount of painkillers that had been pumped into him.

"Well you did it," Nikki beamed. "He's been arrested. They're going to question him tomorrow but he's not going to get away with it, not after this."

"You did good," Jack piped up. Nikki looked over at him, the smile spreading across her face as their eyes connected. But there was a sadness behind them and she knew that she was wearing the same expression. They were both thinking the same thing, what had just happened - or rather, what nearly happened - wasn't going to happen again. It was just going to be another one of those things they swept under the carpet and forgot about. Another one of those things they buried, amongst all the other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Moment of Truth - Memories are resurfaced as a face brings everything back for Jack and Nikki. Will this be the tipping point for Jack? Or will Nikki catch him before he falls?


	7. Moment of Truth - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories are resurfaced as a face brings everything back for Jack and Nikki. Will this be the tipping point for Jack? Or will Nikki catch him before he falls?

_Bang. It all went black. His body dropped to the floor with a thud. The rest of them scurried away like rats. The body lying in the middle, the blood pooling around him. The gunman lowered his arm, his chest rising and falling. He felt people tugging at him, shouting in his ear. Telling him they had to go as the sirens sounded off in the distance. He eventually moved, now running for his life, the money stashed away in his pocket._

* * *

"Oh come on Jack," Sam rolled her eyes at her fellow colleague. Smiling as she caught the glint in Nikki's eye. "Look, I'm paying for it and we all deserve to have at least one night off. We could do with cheering up after what happened last month," she looked over at Evan.

He'd only come back last week, still recovering from his injuries. But he was doing better and he was coming to terms with Theo's death now that they had managed to convict the man and he was doing time for his crime. Jack and Nikki had been doing their best to look after him as well. Constantly checking up on him and making sure that he was looking after himself. He did seem to be getting on with things well but Sam kept that extra eye on him so she could be sure he was coping and wasn't doing too much.

Jack opened his mouth to speak but they were interrupted by the shrill of the phone. Sam moved, picking the phone up and pressing it to her ear, "Professor Ryan," she answered. She nodded as she wrote down the address the person on the other end of the line was reeling off to her. She eventually hung up; her eyes flicking between the other three people in the room. "They've found a body, about ten minutes from here," she was looking at Nikki now. "I think I'll do this one. If you don't mind."

"Go ahead," Nikki shook her head as she sat down at her desk; the coffee cup held firmly in her hands. "I've got plenty to be getting on with. I can still help with the post mortem though if you want."

"Of course," she beamed before heading into her office to collect her stuff. She buttoned her coat up as she walked past Nikki once again and made her goodbyes. She was met outside in the car by Jack and Evan who were raring to go.

They arrived at the scene quickly despite the traffic that was beginning to build up. All three suited up before they passed under the tape. It was in the middle of a park, the man just left to die on the floor. They had set up a tent over the body to prevent onlookers from having to see the body. And as Jack looked around, he could see the crowd forming already.

Sam led the way but he felt his heart dropping as he laid eyes on the detective, _this was going to be a barrel of laughs,_ he thought to himself.

"DI Kate Ashton," she held her hand out to greet Sam, her eyes moving to connect with Jack's. "Hello Jack."

"Professor Sam Ryan," Sam shook her hand, her head turning to Jack as he gave the woman a grunt in response; his fingers gripping the handle on his case harder. She shook her head, not wanting the gory details of how he knew her. "Shall we got on with it then?"

"Of course," Kate smiled sweetly as she guided them to the tent.

Jack stopped by the entrance, feeling all the air being pushed out of his lungs. The panic was rising up his throat as he stared at the body on the floor; his knuckles turning white against the handle now. He swallowed, his eyes scanning up and down the body. He closed his eyes but that made it worse, the memories flashing in his mind all over again.

_The crack of the gun, the man's body dropping to the floor. The anger surging through him as he thought of how he was now further away from finding Nikki than he was before. He had phoned her, promised her that he would find her. But he didn't know how. Didn't know where to start. Getting El Buitre out of prison was his way of getting her back. And now he was dead. And that was his fault. He'd still be alive if Jack stuck his ground and went against their wishes._

_But it was Nikki. The woman he loved. The woman that he would do absolutely anything for. Even get a man killed. He was angry at her. At her stubbornness. At her unwillingness to let things go; to take a step back and realise that it wasn't her place to get involved. This whole situation had nothing to do with them, they shouldn't be here. Nikki shouldn't be in a box in the middle of the ground. But that was Nikki all over, unable to say no. Unable to leave things alone._

_He was angry at himself. Angry at being unable to stop himself from loving her. He recalled Gustavo mentioning to Nikki how they take the ones you love. He had thought over all the little moments he had given that away in the short time they had been there. The lingering touches, the bickering. The way he would do anything to protect her._

_Eva had seen that, she had watched them. She had known that he would go to great lengths to make sure that Nikki was safe. And he had proven her right. He had got a man killed just so he wouldn't lose her. So he would be able to touch her and hold her in his arms again._

_He had thought about that early morning, when they were sat on the terrace, watching the sunrise. He had wanted to kiss her then, he didn't know why it had been that moment specifically. Perhaps it was because it had just been the two of them for the past couple of days, no one to interrupt or distract them. Being away from England, allowing themselves to see each other in a different light. Perhaps it had been the way she had rested her head on his shoulder, very nearly admitting defeat. Or perhaps he thought that if he had kissed her, then he would've been able to convince her to go back with him, to get out of this country and go home._

_He tried not to think about how his bedroom was next to hers, how she would wander in and sit on the end of his bed because she couldn't sleep and she needed to reel off all her theories she had managed to conjure up. It had only been a couple of days but she had thrown herself head first into it all, typical Nikki. He would never admit to the times he had wanted to take her hand in his, pull her towards him and capture her lips with his own. It had been too tempting. And it wasn't as if these people knew them. Not that well anyway. Nobody would pass judgement and if Jack was being honest, most of them probably thought they were together anyway._

_But then he'd remind himself of the fact he had gone out there, on Thomas' wishes, to bring her home. To be the one to tell her to walk away. To give up. But she was his Achilles heel. All she had to do was give him a certain look and he would be eating out of her palm. And that was what had brought them here. More people were dead and more people were lost. He wished he was stronger, that he would be able to say no to her. But he loved her and he would do anything for her._

He was brought from his thoughts by a hand on his arm and Sam calling his name. He gulped as his eyes connected with hers, he urged for the tears to not spill over the edge. She had asked if he was alright. Or at least that's what he thought she had said, he had given her a nod of his head, excusing himself as he walked away.

He had mumbled something about needing to get some space as Sam watched him walk away, confusion all over her face. She had her fair share of anxiety inducing crime scenes but there was something about this one in particular that was affecting Jack and she couldn't understand why. They had seen plenty of bodies with gun shot wounds, this wasn't that different to any other. And then there was the detective, definitely some history there which probably wasn't helping. Jack had never been like this at a crime scene before - or at least, she had never known him to be like this.

If it wasn't for the fact that she needed to get on with the job she would've followed after him; make sure he didn't do anything stupid. But she patted Evan on the back and encouraged him to _just get on with it._ Jack will be back in five minutes and he'll have some kind of an explanation for his behaviour.

His chest tightened as he reached the car. He rested his hands against the windows, needing something solid to ground him as the panic surged through him. His heart was beating rapidly as he struggled to catch his breath. He was scared to close his eyes again, not wanting to see the vivid images. But he needed to do something that would calm him. He pattered for his phone in his pocket, he needed to hear her voice. Her soft, dulcet tones that had an incredible way of soothing him when he was like this.

But he was distracted by DI Ashton calling his name and heading in his direction. _This was the last thing he needed._

"How is everything Jack?" she asked softly, stopping by the car.

"Fine," he replied through gritted teeth. He didn't want to lose his temper, he had swiftly forgotten about what happened between himself and DI Ashton; happy to put it to bed in the hopes that he'd never have to see her again. But now she was here, he could feel himself growing annoyed again. And he could do without that, especially with his mind already whirring with bad memories.

"Look Jack if there's going to be a problem I can ask-"

"No, there's not a problem," he interrupted, straightening his back up. He'd be damned to let her get her own way. She was the one in the wrong after all, if anyone should be taking a step back it should be her. She was the one who took advantage of him so why should he be punished? He picked his case up from the floor and made his way to the crime scene once again.

He pushed all of his thoughts down despite them threatening to escape and fill his mind. He wasn't going to let DI Ashton win and he wasn't going to let the memories of Mexico win either. It was all in the past now, buried, he had moved on.

Sam was taking photos of the body when he returned. Evan had been collecting blowfly larvae from the body and placing them in various tubes. He took a deep breath, calming himself as the tattoos on the body stared back at him. They were similar to the ones on El Buitre which wasn't making any of it easier. The man's face decorated to look like a skull, every inch of his body decorated with some kind of image. His nostrils flared as the shiver ran down his spine. He counted to ten in his head and stepped into the tent.

Sam watched him closely, trying to gauge any emotion from him. He remained fairly stoic but she could see that he was trying his best to not let his mind get the better of him. She made a mental note to bring him up on it later. If this case was going to bother him then she would rather he take a step back. Although she doubted that she would be able to convince him to do that. She had barely been able to convince Evan and although the two were similar, Jack was a completely different kettle of fish to the young boy.

* * *

It had been a few hours since they had been at the scene and Jack had seemed to have disappeared. Sam didn't question it, half expecting him to wander off after seeing his reaction to the body. She just hoped that once he had sorted everything out that he would come back to her with some kind of an explanation.

She was sat on the bench waiting for Nikki to finish getting ready, "Have you spoken to Jack yet?" She called out as Nikki emerged from around the corner.

Nikki shook her head at the older woman. She did wonder where Jack had gone but she had just assumed that it had something to do with the case but evidently not, given Sam's question.

"Something wasn't right at the scene earlier," Sam explained.

Nikki listened closely, the worry that had been buried in the pit of her stomach soon resurfacing as she remembered the conversation she'd had with Evan not too long ago. When he told her that Jack had pinned a potential suspect down onto his table. And she couldn't exactly forget when he'd knocked fifty bells into the man who had been trying to strangle Evan. But both those times could be justified so she didn't over think them too much.

Sam continued as Nikki remained silent; curious to know more. "He took one look at the body and he left, it looked as though he was having a panic attack."

Nikki's brows furrowed, that wasn't like Jack at all. And unlike those other times she couldn't explain this one. At least with them, someone had provoked him into reacting in the ways that he did. But from the sounds of it so far, nothing could've provoked him and he didn't lose his temper. He just walked away. She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know."

"When you find him or manage to get hold of him, tell him I need to speak to him please," Sam stood up, leading the way into the mortuary. The thick plastic sheeting shuffling as they passed through it. "If there's something wrong then I need to know so I can provide…" she trailed off, noticing that Nikki had stopped walking.

That was it. That was why Jack had walked away. It had felt as though someone had squeezed her lungs and the bile was rising up her throat. She swallowed it down, reaching out to grab onto the side before she fell to the ground. She could feel her whole body shaking as Sam stared at her, the expression on her face was a baffled one. Nikki tried her best to take a deep breath but it was as though there was no air around her. She was breathless again. She was trapped again. She daren't close her eyes, knowing that the moment the darkness took her was the moment she'd be back in the box; screaming and clawing for her life.

Sam walked over to her, placing a gentle hand on her arm, "Nikki what's wrong?" She questioned, her voice slow and calm. This was starting to get weird. Both Jack and Nikki having the same visceral reaction to the sight of a body was strange and she was beginning to wonder what the hell had happened between them that involved a heavily tattooed man.

Nikki's eyes searched Sam's as the tears dripped down her cheeks, the feeling of her hand on hers pulling her back into the room. Her sight focused on the body behind Sam's shoulder again. She knew it wasn't him, she knew that there wasn't a single chance that it could be him. Jack had told her that he had died out there. He never explained how and she never asked. She didn't care. But his face had remained ingrained on her brain, she'd see him in the reflection of glasses, in mirrors. His face haunting her dreams. And he wasn't exactly easy to forget.

She had been in close contact with him so many times. He had spat in her face. She had saved his life against her own wishes. He didn't deserve to be saved but she had to do it to get her friend back. She had threatened him with a needle as she begged him to tell her where Luisa was. He was the reason she had ended up in the box, she had lost her temper. She had been banned from giving him his medication. She had lost the access that Eva needed. The access that had passed over to Jack. He had been the only person who would be able to break El Buitre out of prison and he wouldn't do it unless he had a reason to. Nikki was his reason.

As she looked over at the man lying on the slab she couldn't help but spot out the similarities and for the first time since Mexico she felt scared. Truly scared. She took a step back from Sam, no longer being able to keep herself in the room. She pushed past the plastic sheeting; not bothering to get changed as she made her way back to the offices.

Her hands reached out to lean on her desk, she took deep breaths. In through her nose and out through her mouth. She calmed herself slowly, feeling her rate reaching a normal pace. She let out a sigh as she glanced over at his empty desk. He hadn't come back yet. And right at this present moment she wished he would. She needed to hear his voice, the voice that had kept her sane for the fifteen hours. The voice that said so much despite saying so little. It was moments like this where she realised she needed Jack more than anything. He was her rock, her soulmate. _Her equal._

She ran her hands through her hair as she flopped down on her seat. The picture of herself, Jack, Clarissa and Thomas that sat on her desk staring back at her. Her lips twitched fondly as she thought about her makeshift, surrogate family. The happy memories diminishing as she remembered how quickly it had been destroyed and taken away from her just like everything else. And now she was scared of losing Jack, that this would be the final straw. The thing to tip him over the edge. She picked up the phone on her desk, dialling the number she had memorised.

The dial tone rang out for what felt like forever before eventually reaching his voicemail. The small hint of his voice bringing some kind of comfort to her but she needed more than that. She placed the phone back down in it's holder; knowing it would be pointless trying to bombard him with phone calls. If he didn't answer the first time then he wasn't going to answer the fifth time.

Sam had made good progress with the post mortem as DI Ashton watched from the observation room. For the most part he was healthy, there was slight cirrhosis of the liver and she had found atheroma in the heart. She was able to place his age around mid to late thirties. The gun shot wound to the head was the definite cause of death; there were no other injuries on the body. No signs of a struggle. There was no powder tattooing around the entrance of the bullet so it hadn't been a close range shot. The lack of an exit wound meant Sam had found a bullet lodged into the back of his skull. She collected all her evidence and took blood samples for toxicology.

"Any luck on an ID?" DI Ashton asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

Sam shook her head, "But I doubt we're going to struggle finding out who he is," she glanced briefly at the body. "He's not exactly going to blend into a crowd. I will check against dental records and I've sent off bloods, so we might get something back on DNA if he's on the system."

DI Ashton noted down the information, "Before you go," she started, grabbing Sam's attention. "I'm going to ask for Jack to be taken off the case. After last time I don't feel comfortable working so closely with him."

Sam's eyebrows knitted together. This was turning out to be a very bizarre day. She waited for DI Kate Ashton to provide an explanation as to why she wanted Jack to be removed off the case but she had disappeared, obviously wanting to keep the conversation short and sweet. She scoffed to herself as she peeled her gloves off, someone was going to have to start telling her what the hell was going on.

She got changed, her mind whirring with thoughts and ideas. Nothing from this day was making sense. Both Nikki and Jack had walked away after seeing the body and now DI Ashton was asking for Jack to be removed from the case. She shook the thoughts from her head, trying not to overthink it too much; she knew someone would give her an answer one way or another.

As she walked down the hallway she was met by Nikki sat at her desk; still in her scrubs. She was staring blankly in front of her as though she was lost in her own world. And from the expression on her face, it clearly wasn't a world she wanted to be stuck in. Sam edged closer, not wanting to startle the woman. But she seemed to have gathered her attention from her presence; their eyes connecting.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked softly.

Nikki jumped, her head flicking to look behind her shoulder. She sighed, closing her eyes as she realised that it was just a reflection. She turned back to Sam, "When's Jack getting back, do you know?" She diverted, not particularly in the mood of wanting to bring up the whole Mexico ordeal even more; at least, not with someone who hadn't been through it all with her. Because Jack would understand her in ways that Sam wouldn't be able to. He had been there, he had experienced it all with her. She trusted Sam and she knew she could talk about anything with her but this was a conversation she needed to have with Jack.

Sam raised her eyebrows at Nikki, "Don't change the subject," she warned. But Nikki was standing up, putting the files that were spread out on her desk away. She quickly remembered that all her stuff was still in her locker. She tried to push past Sam but the older woman stopped her with an arm out in front of her. "Nikki."

Nikki gulped, her eyes searching Sam's, "I need to find Jack," she replied bluntly. Sam waited a moment, debating on whether to keep her there for an answer or to let her go. She decided on the latter, dropping her arm. Nikki moved quickly, not wanting to waste anymore time.

She got changed as fast as she could possibly manage and she was soon making her way back up the hallway and towards the entrance of the Lyell. She gasped as she was met by Jack on the other side of the door. He was wearing the same expression as her. She swallowed, opening the door to let him in.

"Where have you been?" She barely got out for the lump in her throat. But he didn't answer her, just continued through to his desk. She followed after him, hot on his tail. "Jack, please."

"I went back to the scene," he eventually answered, pulling out various evidence bags. "I found bullet casings. I didn't have much chance to look earlier."

She waited for him to continue, expected it almost. But it didn't come, "Jack I've seen the body."

Jack didn't look in her direction, finding himself being unable to. He just clenched his jaw, sticking his tongue to the roof of his mouth in an attempt to stop the tears that were threatening to escape. Nikki moved, perching herself on the edge of his desk and taking his hand in hers. She squeezed it tightly. Her heart dropped as the tears slipped down his cheeks. Without thinking her free hand came out to cup his cheek, her thumb wiping them away. She was pulling him into her then, her arms engulfing him as his arms wrapped around her waist. She ran her hands through his hair as he cried.

"I watched him die Nikki," he mumbled into her body. She loosened her grip on him but her hands remained at the back of his neck, her fingers brushing the short strands of hair at the nape. "It was my fault he was killed. I brought him to them. I watched them shoot him."

Nikki's eyebrows furrowed, "What?" She knew he hadn't been talking about the body that had arrived today. But she hadn't been expecting him to say that. This was news to her.

"I just wanted to get you back. I did everything I could but he died because of me," he let out, his voice wavering with each word. "Eva died because of me."

"Did you put those bullets in their heads Jack?" She spoke bluntly, her eyes fixed on his. He opened his mouth to argue against her point but she interrupted him. "They were going to kill them anyway, whether you broke him out of prison or not. This wasn't your fault Jack you just got caught up in the middle of it all. And that was _my_ fault. If I hadn't gone out there in the first place, you would never have come after me."

Jack scoffed, "We're both as bad as each other then aren't we?"

Nikki smiled, it was a sad smile. She tried to hold the tears back but she could feel them forming as she gazed down at him, his cheeks still wet. She went to speak, she wasn't totally sure of what she was going to say. There was so much to be said, so many things she wanted to get off her chest and out in the open. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't bring herself to put words to those thoughts. She didn't have much time to think about it as Sam emerged from her office, heading towards the pair. Nikki was quick to drop Jack's hand. The back of her hand wiping away the tears.

"Jack I need to have a word," Sam announced, her arms folding. But he didn't move, just stared back at her. She glanced at Nikki briefly who too was just watching the woman, knowing that whatever she was about to say, Nikki wanted to be a part of it. Sam let out a deep breath, "DI Ashton has asked for you to be removed from the case."

"Excuse me?" he retorted, not anticipating her to come out with that one. Nikki's head flicked towards him, taken back by this sudden news. She knew something had happened between Jack and DI Ashton during the last case but she never thought it had ended badly enough for her to want him off the case.

"Did something happen?" Sam pushed, wanting an explanation to at least one of her questions from today. She had known DI Ashton had gone in search for Jack at the crime scene and now she was wondering if he had said anything to her that would cause this sudden reaction.

"This is bullshit," he huffed, feeling the annoyance growing inside him. He pulled himself up to his feet; wanting to escape and get out of the room. He shook his head, "If anyone should be taking a step back from this case it should be her. She's the one with the problem not me."

"I don't care what happened between you and her, Jack," Sam rose her voice to stand her ground against the taller man. "I agreed to taking you off the case on the basis of how you reacted earlier. Something about this particular case is clearly affecting you and I can't have that. I need people who are going to be objective and are going to have a clear mindset. So, for this case I want you to step away. You too, Nikki. I don't know what it is and it's your business but I can't let it have an effect on the case."

She walked away, not wanting an argument from either of them. She heard Jack storming off and Nikki calling after him. She sighed, _this was going to be a long couple of days._

Nikki had pottered around for about ten minutes, wondering if it would be worth trying to find him. Her head told her just to leave it, he needed space to work things out in his head and in his own way. But her heart couldn't leave it alone and she had spent so long giving him space, she knew it was about time she stepped in and did something. He was suffering and he needed help and she needed to push him in the right direction.

She picked her bag up from the back of her chair and left the Lyell, making her way to the one place she knew he would be. She got there eventually, the cheers and the grunts bouncing off the walls. She could smell the sweat and testosterone. She had known which room it was, she'd come here more times than she would like to count.

She waited for a reply as she banged on the door but there was nothing. Pressing her ear against the wood she tried to listen out for any movement but it remained silent on the other side of the room. Her hand pushed down on the handle but it wouldn't budge; it was locked. Her face screwed up, _he wasn't there._ And she hadn't seen him in the cage so he couldn't be elsewhere.

"Can I help you love?" She heard a voice heading in her direction, she vaguely recognised him from before. His bald head and cockney accent. The man looked her up and down, pulling a face. "You're Jack's girl aren't you?"

Nikki's mouth hung open at his words, wondering what Jack had being saying for him to jump to that conclusion. She knew she had been here a lot over the years but not enough for him to suspect that they were a thing. "Uh, Jack and I aren't," she shook her head; her lips twitching. She changed the subject trying not to let it get in the way of the real reason she was here. "Have you seen him?"

"No, he hasn't been here for a couple of months, why?" The man answered, confusion all over his face. The last time he had seen Jack had actually been a few weeks ago, he had a feeling that he was losing his best fighter because of the blonde woman stood in front of him so he spared her that small detail. He had seen her face a fair few times over the years. Whenever he would bring her up in the conversation Jack would just brush it off - much like she was doing now. But they always seemed to be close and he just assumed, from the way that they were with each other, that they were together. Clearly not.

Nikki pondered for a moment, she had got it wrong. She could almost kick herself for not trusting him. He had promised her that he wouldn't come back here after all and it was a relief to know that he had stuck to his word, "It doesn't matter," she brushed off, pushing past the man.

"You're welcome," she heard him calling after her, she just rolled her eyes; her mind too busy worrying where Jack had gone.

* * *

He went home first. He wasn't totally sure why, he knew that that was the last place he needed or wanted to be. Being at home, on his own, allowed him to be lost with his thoughts. And that was the last thing he needed. His mind had been racing all day, the memories being stirred up once again. Except this time Jack wasn't sure he'd be able to squash them down. They were too strong. Too powerful. They were too much.

He tried to fight against it, he didn't want to succumb to the fear. His leg was shaking almost in a way to expel the emotions, something to distract him. But his chest was tightening and it was like the air was being sucked out of him. He ran his hands through his hair, he just wanted it to stop. He wanted the images to disappear, he wanted her screams silenced. But they didn't stop. They just got louder and louder until he couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and grabbed his bag from the counter; pulling it over his shoulder before heading out of the door.

There was one place that would get rid of the thoughts. One place that would take the pain away. He'd been to the gym a countless number of times but he tried not to do the fights so much anymore. Until recently. What happened to Thomas had brought it all back for him. And he had quickly returned to his self destructive ways; getting the life kicked out of him so he couldn't remember anything the next day. But it would soon come back and the vicious cycle would start again.

He couldn't even remember the car journey but he had somehow made it there. He pushed his way through the front doors and towards his substitute 'changing room' which was just a toilet with a piece of paper stuck over the door. He pushed the handle down, shocked to find it had been locked. Looking over his shoulder, his eyes caught with George, the man behind the whole thing.

"Jack Hodgson what are you doing here?" George asked, walking over to him. His face full of glee to see his best fighter. They shook hands. But then he was quickly reminded of the woman who had been here a mere few minutes ago. "That pretty blonde doctor was here looking for you."

Jack furrowed his brows but he wasn't completely surprised, "Nikki?"

"How many pretty blonde doctors do you know?" George chuckled, the man flicked his eyes to his watch. "You've only missed her by about ten minutes actually, I'm sure you can catch her up," he gave him a wink.

Jack shook his head, "Have you got any fights lined up for me?" He queried.

"For you Jack, yes," George grinned, plunging his hand into his pocket and pulling out a key. He passed it over to Jack. "Twenty minutes?"

Jack nodded, taking the key from the man and placing it into the lock. It hadn't changed at all, everything was in the same place. Almost as if no one else had been in here since the last time he had come here a couple of weeks ago.

He got changed, the cold air attacking his bare skin now as he bandaged his hands. As he wrapped the cloth around his knuckles he couldn't help but let his mind wander to the time Nikki had been here to do it. Her delicate fingers brushing against his skin as she expertly wrapped his hands whilst spouting off about the case they had been working on. He'd asked if she came to see him fight, he hadn't been able to hide his disappointment when she said no. He wanted her to watch him, he would've been sure to put in more effort if she had. But he had won that night anyway and he'd called her his lucky charm.

Then there was the time Ryan had sprung back into his life and in typical Nikki fashion, she had gone digging into his past; adamant to find out what had happened. She turned up at the gym as he beat his fists into the punch bag. He had nearly knocked her over when she appeared from behind it. He had cursed himself at the time for imagining how it would feel to push her up against the wall. To hear how her body would thud on the bricks as his teeth attacked her flesh. How she would gasp and grip at his skin. His thoughts and feelings had always been heightened when he was at the gym and her turning up out of the blue only made them more vivid. He hadn't fought that day, although he had been tempted. He would've asked her again but she would've said no.

He couldn't blame her for not wanting to watch though, things could get pretty nasty in the ring and he's had countless cuts and bruises over the years to prove that. Jack let out a sigh, he'd promised her he wouldn't do this. But she had known that he would end up here after everything that's happened today. She had known before him. It was like she was living inside of his mind, knowing every single thought that belonged to him.

But he supposed that he had let her do that; worm her way into every bit of his life. There wasn't a day that went by where she wasn't on his mind. She was always there. And he wasn't sure of how much more of it he could take. And now with all of this stuff from Mexico being brought up it meant other things were going to crawl out of the woodwork. Those sacred moments shared between them had been on his mind anyway, but seeing that dead man today made them so much more clear.

Her fingernails dragging against his flesh, her breath in his ear. The way she had squirmed under his touch. The small wounds he wished he could kiss away. He wanted the moment to last forever, to hold onto her and keep her safe; to protect her from the horrors in the world.

But he let her slip out of his grasp, he let her walk away. It was why he didn't speak to her for months, because he was scared that he wouldn't be able to control himself around her. There was a reason why she left that day, they had taken it too far. Overstepped the mark. Crossed the boundary they had so expertly put up.

The banging on the door interrupted his thoughts, _it was time._ He yanked the door open, nearly pulling it off its hinges. He was hyping himself up, trying to get into the mindset. He picked up the mouthguard from the counter and then he was following behind George. The adrenaline pumping around him now as he walked down the hallway he had made his way through a countless number of times. He could hear the shouting from the people and his heart was racing now. All thoughts of Nikki to the back of his head.

He reached the cage, his opponent already circling; riling the crowd. George was patting him on the back, "You've got this mate, he's got nothing on you," he grinned, pushing Jack into the cage. That was all he needed, a push in the right direction - or as Nikki would say, the _wrong_ direction. He shot the thought down, he couldn't let her cloud his vision.

He paced around the cage as he sized his opponent up. George was right, this guy had nothing on him, he barely looked as though he could tie his own shoelaces. This was going to be an easy fight and Jack couldn't help but feel disappointed by that. He wanted a battle, he wanted someone to beat the guilt out of him.

Both men stopped, waiting for the announcement so they could start. The room was silent with anticipation and Jack's heart pounded even harder. He had missed this feeling, the thrill seconds before a fight. Nothing ever beat it. The blood coursing through his veins, the sweat dripping down his back.

And then they started, Jacks fists were up. His feet stepping around the perimeter of the cage, wondering who was going to throw the first punch. Jack waited, giving the other man the opportunity and the chance to make the move. But he could hear his name being chanted and it was spurring him on. He edged forward, closing the distance. His fist collided with the man's face, his body crumbling to the floor. There were cheers all around him. His breathing was heavy as he backed off; waiting for the man to pick himself up. He was worried for a split second as the man remained still but he was soon groaning and pushing himself up. Jack continued to walk around, trying to keep things moving.

What he hadn't quite anticipated was the force behind the mans punch. It had knocked him for six as he stumbled backwards. His back hitting the cage. He could feel the blood dribbling down his cheek already and his head was whirring. He had underestimated the other man, this wasn't going to be the easy fight he had thought it was going to be. _This_ is what he came here for.

* * *

Nikki was sat on her chair in her living room, a glass of wine in one hand, her phone in the other. She had Jack's contact details open, her thumb hovering over his number. She had tried his apartment on her way home but there was no answer. And she hadn't seen his car either. He wasn't at the gym and he wasn't at his house. So, where was he? She didn't know where else she could've looked and she was starting to worry. And the last thing she wanted to do was ask his father if he had seen him, that would only start the questions and she didn't need to panic him; not after what happened last year.

She shook her head, chuckling at herself. He was a grown man she didn't need to keep tabs on him. But she also knew him better than she knew herself sometimes and she knew what kinds of trouble he could get himself in when these sorts of things happened. When he had allowed the guilt to take over him.

She hadn't been able to get any of it off her mind. All the ghosts coming back to haunt her. Every time she closed her eyes she would be back in the box and the panic attack would come along. In a selfish way that was why she wanted Jack. Of course she wanted to check he was doing okay and wasn't tipping over the edge, but she needed him. She needed him to hold her in the way he had when they found each other. The way he had gripped onto her as if she was going to disappear before his very eyes. It had made her feel wanted, important almost.

That was the first time their lips brushed. It had been an accident. Caught up in the moment. But then he had pressed his lips into hers hard; almost as if to confirm that she was actually there in front of him. Nikki hadn't had much time to react but she kissed him back with twice as much force. It was all she had thought about when she'd been stuck in that box. She thought she'd never get the chance to tell him, to show him, just how much he meant to her. Her hands had raked through his hair and she could taste the salt from his tears, or maybe it had been from the sea. She couldn't tell. Her mind more occupied by the fact his tongue was running along her bottom lip.

It had been then when it clicked for her that this was just more than a heat of the moment thing. This was something that had been building up for a long time. Something that had been threatening to spill since the first day she had met him. Deep down Nikki had always known how he felt towards her. The way he'd react when she'd introduce a new man to him was proof enough of that.

But she thought it was just going to be another Harry situation so she pushed her feelings down; to protect herself from the heartbreak. But with time it just got worse. She'd find herself feeling compelled to be in his presence, to be by his side. She'd stay up late worrying that he was beating himself into a coma - much like she was doing now. Her skin would tingle with excitement every time he'd brush past her. His voice would send shivers down her spine. Jack Hodgson had got under her skin and stolen her heart.

Being stuck in that box for fifteen hours with only his voice to pull her through had sent her mind in all kinds of directions. Had made her think about things she hadn't thought about in years. All the things she had tried to ignore. And then she'd hear his voice on the other end of the line and she yearned even more to have him with her. She could hear the desperation in his voice, the way he was trying to hold back the tears and she wanted to hold him more than she wanted him to hold her. She knew then that she loved him.

When he found her on the beach, when they kissed she thought that would be it. That would be the tipping point; they would finally admit everything to each other. But that moment never came. They had spent the night with each other. Jack had clawed at her skin, his lips had kissed every part of her. He had made her feel like she was the most important being in his world. Like she was the be all and end all. He made her feel whole. But at some point, some random hour in the morning. When his arm had wrapped around her waist; their bodies pressed together. The panic set in. She looked over at him, he looked peaceful; at one with the world.

But she couldn't do it. She knew that she would ruin that peace and end up breaking him. She had done that already by dragging him out there. He was sent there to bring her home but as usual she didn't want to listen. She didn't want to leave things alone. She had put him under all this stress because she still hadn't learned to let things be. And she was scared that it would be worse next time and she couldn't do that to him. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she knew that she been the reason for his heartache.

She kissed him one last time and then she left, booking the next flight to New York. She wanted to see Harry, to speak to him. He would be able to make sense of it all. Someone on the outside that would tell her she's being an idiot.

When she had eventually got there, they had stayed up all night talking. She told him about everything that had happened, everything she had felt. Everything except what had happened between her and Jack. She couldn't bring herself to say it, to admit out loud that she felt anything more than just a friendship with the man. She knew that Harry would make the leap though, he wasn't stupid. And over the years they had talked on the phone, she had found herself being unable to stop mentioning Jack. She hadn't realised she'd been doing it until Harry pointed it out; she could almost hear his smile as he had said it. She had wanted to pinch herself for allowing her heart to get carried away with itself.

Harry had told her to get over herself and that if she loved Jack then she should make a go of things, "Allow yourself to be happy Nikki. Be selfish and put yourself first," he had said. She had taken it on board, a spring in her step as she made her way back to the UK.

But then he wouldn't answer. She'd ring and ring and ring but he would never pick up the phone. Months had passed and the nightmares got worse. When she had been in America she thought Mexico would just be another thing she would get through with no problems. Something she would look back on in a couple of years and chuckle about. But the moment she set foot back onto English soil, it hit her. This wasn't something she was going to get over in a hurry.

Jack ignoring her messages and phone calls didn't help the situation. She knew he was angry with her. She knew that she shouldn't have left or at the very least she should've given him a decent explanation as to why she had. But she thought that of all the people that would understand it would be him.

Those few months had been the worst, she had been suffering and she hadn't been able to reach out to the one person who would feel her pain. Who would know what she was going through. They had drifted apart, they were further away from each other than they had ever been before. And knowing now that she loved him with every fibre of her being, that made it even harder. She wasn't able to show him all the love she had for him.

Then they eventually made up and Nikki thought they could start again. Build their relationship up back to where it had been before. It would take time and it would take a lot of effort to get there but she was willing to do that. They would never be the same, too many things had happened but she knew it would make them stronger in the long run.

But then Matt happened, this mysterious man entered her life like a whirlwind and whisked her off her feet. What had been even more unexpected was Jack's approval. He encouraged her to go for this relationship, to make a go of something. Perhaps he thought it would be for the best. She couldn't help but to agree with him. She ran because she was scared of breaking his heart but she couldn't break his heart if she was in a relationship with someone else. And he wanted this for her, he wanted to let her go.

So that's what she did. She dived head first into her relationship with Matt. A whirlwind romance. She fell in love fast, _she always did_. But this time he stayed, he didn't leave her like all the other ones had. She even thought she had been pregnant at one point. Her first serious relationship yet she couldn't stop thinking about Jack.

She tried so hard to quash down all the thoughts of him. All the things he had made her feel. But she sat opposite from him everyday. She had his piercing green eyes staring into her soul on a daily basis. And he had seen her at her most vulnerable, in more ways than one. He had been easy to forget at the beginning of her relationship with Matt but slowly but surely he wormed his way in again.

She knew it was wrong but there were times where she'd lie in bed, with Matt's arms around her, and she'd close her eyes and pretend it was Jack. But then he would speak and the illusion would disappear. It only got worse towards the end. When Matt drifted away and Nikki found herself spending more and more time at work, with Jack. They were growing closer again, closer than they had ever been. And those feelings were lurking.

She recalled a conversation she had with him after her and Matt split up, "Cheating doesn't always have to be physical does it?" She had tried to tell him then, in her own funny little way. But just like always their moment had been interrupted and they never spoke of it again.

Then she thought about that kiss - albeit brief - they shared a couple of weeks ago. They were cracking, both of them. They weren't going to last much longer, the feelings were seeping through. The touches lasted longer, the stares were getting deeper. And now the past was being dug up. Neither of them were going to be able to run and hide from this much longer. They were going to have to start to facing facts. Their moment of truth.

When that was to be Nikki wasn't quite sure but the way things had been going for the past couple of months it wasn't going to be long. She gulped down the rest of the wine and clicked the lock button on her phone. Wherever he was, he'll find his way back to her, he always did.

* * *

He caught sight of himself in his car window. It was the worst he had looked in a very long time. His head was pounding and he knew he was going to have two very black eyes the next morning. At least the blood had dried over the multiple cuts on his face. He still won though. The other guy had given as good as he got but he wasn't a match for Jack. And despite the circumstances Jack couldn't help but feel proud of himself, a small victory.

He shouldn't have driven him home, he could barely see. But there was no one else around and he wasn't going to phone Nikki, not when he had only just managed to drown the thoughts out. But he had found his way home without a hitch thankfully.

Jack stumbled up the stairs, the sleep taking over him now as he fumbled with the key in the door. He had never felt so exhausted. His bag dropped to the floor as the door shut behind him. He wandered over to his sofa, his body flopping down onto the cushions. His hand rested on his forehead; the room spinning. He closed his eyes and he slowly slipped away.

_"Jack!" He could hear her calling his name, her voice strained and desperate. It had happened again, his fingers gripped the phone to his ear. "Jack please help me."_

_He didn't know what to do, he never thought this would happen again. He never thought he'd had to listen to her cries on the other end of the line while he frantically searched for the evidence that would lead him to her. The last he had seen her they had argued, he couldn't remember what about. They had just argued. She was angry at him and she walked out._

_The man's face flashed across his mind, El Buitre, the tattoos on his face sending a shiver down Jack's spine. He had taken her again. Stolen her away from him. He was being punished. He had let it get out of control again, he allowed himself to fall in love with her. He allowed her to wiggle her way into his life. He had told her he loved her, he knew he shouldn't have done it. He should've had more self control. But he was dying and he needed her to know before he went. He couldn't die without her knowing how he felt. He just hadn't quite anticipated that he would make it through. And now he wished he hadn't because maybe then she would be safe. She was better off without him. She was safer when he wasn't around._

_Whatever he had said to her to make her run, he so desperately wished he could take it all back now. He needed to find her. Loving her was hurting her but he didn't know if he could go through all of this again. It had broken him last time, he had lost it. He had reached depths he never thought he was capable of. He had learnt things about himself, things he never wanted to know about. He had got a man killed to get her back._

_But now that man was back, to get his revenge. To haunt him for what happened, for what Jack let happen. "Love is weakness," Gustavo's voice rang around his head. Jack took El Buitre's life so El Buitre was taking something that meant more to Jack. He could've just killed him but he wanted Jack to suffer. He had wanted Jack to know how it felt. But Jack had already known, he had already been through this before. He had felt that pain. He had been damned to not let it happen again but here he was._

_"Nikki I'm going to find you I promise," he reassured her, trying to keep his voice calm._

_"What? Like last time?" she had spat back, her voice angry._

_"Nikki please, I mean it. I'm not going to let you slip away again," he pleaded. But he turned, feeling someone tapping him on the shoulder. His heart dropped as his eyes landed on the older man. "Thomas?"_

_"Give me the phone Jack," Thomas held his hand out. "I sent you out there to get her last time and you failed so how can I trust you to get her back this time?"_

_Jack shook his head, the tears slipping down his cheeks, "No Thomas I can do this," his eyes were stinging now. He couldn't believe that this was happening. "Nikki, describe to me where you are."_

_"I don't know Jack," she sobbed. "I'm scared. Why is this happening again? Jack I can't lose you, I can't go months without speaking to you again. Please don't let it be like last time."_

_"Nikki, darling, you listen to me," he started, trying to remain calm. "I'm not going to let it be like last time. I'm coming to get you, I'm going to save you. I love you Nikki and I'm not letting you go. Is there anything you can remember? Tell me what happened."_

_"I don't know he grabbed me from behind, he covered my mouth," she explained. "Jack it was him. From Mexico. How has he got here Jack? I thought he was dead. I thought you killed him."_

_Jack nodded, almost forgetting he was on the phone whilst he watched the CCTV footage of El Buitre taking Nikki. It had been just outside the Lyell but they hadn't been able to track anything after that. Jack looked around the room, trying to find Clarissa but she wasn't there. And Thomas had disappeared as well. It was just the two of them again. The only contact being over the phone._

_"I'm so sorry Nikki."_

_"Just get me out of here Jack," she screamed. Jack could hear a scuffle on the other end of the line. He could hear her struggling. He was shouting her name but she wasn't replying. He kept shouting and shouting. Then he heard a gunshot. Jack's stomach fell to the floor and he felt his body drop to his chair._

_"Nikki?" Fell from his mouth. It was silent. Then the phone was being picked up, a heavy accent talking back at him._

_"She's dead."_

Jack shot up, his heart racing and the sweat pouring down his face. He reached out in front of him, trying to find something solid to hold onto as the panic ripped through his body; his chest rising and falling rapidly. He couldn't think straight, his eyes full to the brim with tears. He called her name again. He wasn't sure why, it wasn't as if she was here to answer him. His head was still pounding.

He reached for his phone in his pocket, his finger hovering over her name. He needed to call her, he needed to hear her voice. He needed to know if she was safe. That was the worst dream he had had in a long time. They had been getting worse as of late but as the weeks past they had been getting more and more vivid. He'd be lucky if he could get through the whole night without having to wake up and make himself a hot chocolate.

But this wasn't a dream he could recover from with a hot drink. He needed something more than that, he needed to see Nikki. He needed to hold her in his arms, to see if she was still alive and hadn't been taken from him again. He checked the time on his phone, _2:13am._ He knew he shouldn't, she was probably fast asleep but he had to be sure. He had to know. He had to hold her face in his hands.

He didn't give it a second thought as he headed out of his apartment. The rain was heavy outside, the droplets bouncing off the floor. He patted his pockets, _shit._ He had left his car keys in the house. He shook his head, it didn't matter now. He stepped out onto the pavement, his hair was dripping already. He hadn't thought about a coat either. The rain soaking through his shirt and attacking his skin.

But he walked, almost ran, the route towards Nikki's house. He had known the directions like the back of his hand. He didn't have to think about it thankfully, his thoughts were consumed by her at the moment. The dream had felt so real. His heart ached at the thought that he had lost her all over again. He wouldn't cope without her in his life. Not now that he had grown so used to having her around.

As he made his way there, his mind raced over all the moments they had shared over the years. He had fallen in love with her the moment he had set eyes on her. When she walked into that hotel room, in her white suit, he had blown her away. When she spouted off about her theory in the middle of the sewers, he had wanted to kiss her there and then. That moment feeling oddly romantic despite the circumstances.

Then as every day had passed he fell in love with her even more. The way she could work a crowd to her favour, the way she would chew her pen when she was concentrating. The way she would just throw herself into every case she would work on and she wouldn't give up until she had got her answer.

The downside to that was the fact she was constantly getting herself in trouble and into tricky situations that he would have to help her out of. He didn't mind so much, if it meant that he could protect her then he would do anything. And at least now she let him help her, she didn't keep him at arms length and demand that she do it all by herself. She actually reached out to him, she wanted him to be by her side.

He had seen this change in her, he didn't know what it meant. He hoped that it was because of him but he couldn't be sure. Not totally. Even if they shared a kiss the other week. It may have only lasted a second but she made the first move. She wanted to kiss him, but she never brought it up again. Just like how they never brought up what happened in Mexico. And just like how they never spoke about what was said in the hospital. When he had finally said those three words.

He was halfway there, he thought. His body was shivering but he couldn't tell if it was from the rain or the adrenaline surging through him. He knew this was a stupid idea but it was too late now, he either turned around and went home or he carried on. But the feeling of needing to see Nikki was too strong so he continued. Walking up and down various streets. There was no one around which wasn't surprising given the time. There was the odd car zooming past him but that was about it.

Thoughts about Afghanistan had managed to enter his head. He had held her while she sobbed for the only decent father figure in her life. They hadn't known each other that well at that point; still at the stage where they were unsure of each other and still learning new things. But Leo's death had brought them closer so suddenly. They had been thrown together, the shared experience binding them to one another. He hadn't left her side in the few weeks after. He had felt this responsibility to look after her, _for Leo._

And he ended up having to be the one to phone Harry and tell him, she had been trying for weeks but she couldn't formulate the words. He sounded just as he had expected, posh, smarmy. But he had asked him to keep an eye out for Nikki, to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. Harry couldn't come to the funeral, too busy with work commitments. Jack hadn't thought much of that, surely under the circumstances he could've made an exception. And of course, he had to tell Nikki. He was angry at Harry for burdening him with that responsibility but Nikki seemed to not let it bother her, almost as if she had expected it.

Then he thought about Thomas. Sweet, caring, loving Thomas. The man that didn't have a single bad bone in his body. Who, yes, could wind Jack up something rotten. But he was always right in the end, he just had a different way of going about things. Jack would give anything to bring him back, to change the past. Thomas didn't deserve to die. He deserved to watch his daughter grow and go off to university and build a life of her own. He hated himself for being the reason that Rosie now mourned for her father everyday. He hated himself for ruining everyone's lives in one way or another. Even Clarissa had left him in the end.

He never let his thoughts get this far, he had always been quick to shut them down. But he hadn't been able to this time. They were occupying his mind rapidly and he couldn't stop them.

It wasn't long before he had reached her street. It felt different on foot compared to being in the car and for a moment he worried that he wouldn't be able to remember the right house. He let out a breath as he spotted her car on her drive. There were no lights on in her house. He stopped on the street, staring at her house. He was debating it even more now, he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time again. _2:46am._ He closed his eyes, she was going to kill him for doing this but he needed to see her.

He stepped onto the drive and made his way towards her front door. He closed his eyes, his hand hovering for a moment before his knuckles were wrapping against the wood. He waited for a few minutes and listened out carefully. When he couldn't hear any movement from inside he knocked again.

Nikki shot up out of bed as she heard the banging on the door downstairs. Her heart raced as she wondered who on earth was knocking on her door at this time in the morning and more to the point, what could they possibly want? She glanced at the clock that sat on her desk, _2:52am._ She ran her hands through her hair as she let out a sigh.

She knew it could only be one person annoying enough that would want to come to her house at this time in the morning. She shook her head, she would've let out a smile if she hadn't just been woken up. "Alright!" She called out as she heard the knocking sounding off again.

Pulling the blankets from around her body, she picked up her dressing gown from the end of her bed and made her way downstairs. She could see his frame in the door and she was beginning to worry about the fact that he was here. He never came here unless it was important. And if he was here at three in the morning then it was for a reason.

She flicked the light on in the hallway and headed towards her front door. Turning the lock she pulled it open, her breath hitching as she caught sight of him. His brown hair stuck to his face, the rain droplets dripping off the ends of his ears and nose. He looked soaked to the skin and the look on his face panicked her. He was pale and his eyes were sunken, something wasn't right.

"Jack?" Fell from her mouth as she moved back to let him in, unable to bear staring at him in the torrential rain for much longer. "What the hell are you doing here? It's three o'clock in the morning."

Jack couldn't take his eyes off her, even at an ungodly hour she was the most beautiful woman he had ever had the pleasure to know. He wanted to pull her into his arms, hold her tightly to be absolutely sure that he wasn't dreaming this moment as well. But he was now suddenly aware that he was dripping from head to toe. There were goosebumps all over his body and he was shaking.

"Jack you are soaking," Nikki stepped forward, her hand on his arm as she guided him to her living room. All the air had escaped his lungs as he felt her hand on him, now he wasn't sure of what he was shaking from. "Take your shirt off, I'm going to get you some towels. I think one of Matt's old dressing gowns is still here…" she trailed off, leaving him stood in the middle of the room; water droplets wetting the carpet.

His eyes glanced around the room, he hadn't really been in her house before. At least, not for longer than five minutes at a time. He spotted all the little trinkets laid out on her mantelpiece, all of them very Nikki in their own strange way. He chuckled to himself as his eyes landed on the bug in a glass frame placed front and centre. Then he heard the creak from upstairs and he quickly remembered that he needed to rid himself of his clothes before he ended up catching a cold.

He peeled his shirt off before his fingers made work with the buttons on his jeans. It didn't sink in that he was stood in Nikki's house with nothing but his underwear on until she was stepping into the room again, a bundle of towels and what looked like a dark blue dressing gown in her arms.

Nikki's lips parted as she took him in, it wasn't the fact that he was stood half naked - although that did take her by surprise - it was his broken face. He looked distraught, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. _Typical Jack._ The way his body was shaking had caught her attention and she was edging forward, throwing the towel around him. Her hands ran up down his arms as she attempted to warm him up. She gulped as her eyes connected with his; she noticed the tears welling up and she pulled him into her. Her arms wrapping around his neck as his arms came around her waist; his face tucked into her neck as he let go.

He sobbed, all the emotions escaping him. He let himself cry, everything that had been building up for the past couple of months taking over him. He felt her arms tightening around him and for the first time in a long time, he felt safe. Secure. He felt as though he was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: It's time to face up to their feelings, it's time to be honest with one another. Or will the revelations push them further apart?


	8. Moment of Truth - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to face up to their feelings, it's time to be honest with one another. Or will the revelations push them further apart?

Nikki walked into her living room, two hot drinks in her hand. He had made himself comfortable on her sofa, Matt's dressing gown wrapped around him. She did her best to ignore the fact that it was too small for him, the sleeves tight around his muscles. She recalled the memory of herself wearing it the night after she had slept with Matt for the first time. She had been wearing only that for the whole morning they questioned her but somehow the only thing - or person rather - that had made her nervous was Jack.

She hadn't realised it at the time, her mind too busy with the fact that yet another person she had taken an interest in had very nearly ended up dead. But in the moments she thought of nothing, she thought of Jack and how his hand had burned her skin when he'd comforted her. She knew the last person that should've been on her mind was Jack, but he was always there. Lurking around in her brain.

She snapped out of it, hearing Jack clearing his throat at the fact she had stopped dead. Her lips twitched, _she wasn't doing a very good job of being a shoulder to cry on._ She moved, handing the mug over to him which he took from her; grateful for the extra warmth seeping through the china. The goosebumps had disappeared and he could feel his toes again but he was still shaking. Although he was beginning to doubt that it had anything to do with him being cold.

He watched her carefully as she sat down next to him, she was avoiding his eye. He couldn't tell why, but the silence was settling amongst them. There was a sense of awkwardness now and he knew that she had plenty of questions she had wanted to ask him. Most important being why had he turned up on her doorstep at three in the morning with red rings around his eyes and the rain soaked through to his bones.

She was looking at him now, taking in the full state he had rocked up in. There was a wound above his eyebrow, the same spot it always was; obviously weak from where it had been broken so many times over the years. She wanted to chuckle at the fact that that pretty much summed the two of them up. _Broken. Damaged._ Words that the pair had carried with them for so long.

They were both as bad as each other. Maybe that was what brought them together, two lost souls in the darkness; both trying to find an ounce of happiness between them. Jack had his guilt and Nikki had hers. Perhaps they could cancel out each others. Nikki shook her head at that thought, knowing she was getting ahead of herself now.

The silence was getting agonising now and she wasn't sure how much more of it she could take; her mind whirring with thoughts and questions. She reached a point where she didn't know which one to ask first. Which one will give her the best answer. She settled on the why for now.

"Why are you here Jack?" He jumps at her question, her voice filling the room.

His eyes connected with hers and the lump was already forming in his throat; he hadn't even started talking yet. And now he was beginning to regret coming here, his subconscious had obviously been telling him that it was time to face his demons. But his fight or flight was kicking in and he'd lost his nerve now. A chill wafted into the room, sending a shiver down his spine; a reminder that he was going to have to fight whether he liked it or not, he wasn't exactly in the right attire to be running off again and he'd only just warmed up.

He took a deep breath, her soft brown eyes boring into him. He couldn't run away, even if he had more than just an old dressing gown on. It was always her, keeping him there. Keeping him from falling off the edge. He waited for the words to form in his head, he wanted them to come out right. He didn't want her to get the wrong end of the stick. But his mind was jumbled, all the different events from over the years merging into one. He heard her voice again, gentle. Like the hand that's now resting on his forearm. It brings him back into the room and out of his head. The question is more clear now, he knows where to start; the reason why he had rushed here just to see her face in the first place.

"I thought they had taken you away from me again," he began, his voice rough from all the crying. "We had argued, I was angry. And then you disappeared. It was like Mexico all over again, your voice on the phone. Your cries and your screams. And Thomas. A reminder of how I failed him as well, I let him down."

She stayed quiet, wanting to let him speak and get it off his chest. But she could feel her heart breaking. She had known he was suffering, from the very beginning. But he had been too stubborn to do anything about it. He thought he could cope with it, deal with it in his own destructive way. But even she knew that this wasn't something that you could forget about in a week. She had done the therapy, she had talked about it countless times but it still haunted her. It still creeped up on her at her weakest moments. Today had been proof of that.

"It felt so real and it terrified me," he continued. "I really thought I had managed to lose you a second time round. Only this time, I thought, I might not get you back. That you had gone forever. That's why I came here, I needed to see that you were still here. That you hadn't been taken and that you were okay. That you weren't tr-" He closed his eyes, determined to not let the tears take over him again. But as he screwed up his face, he felt the sharp pain above his eyebrow and he knew that it had opened. The blood soon dribbling down the side of his face.

Without thinking, Nikki reached out, her thumb stopping the scarlet liquid in its travels. She had a first aid box somewhere but she found herself glued to the spot. She didn't want to leave him. It would only be a thirty second walk to the kitchen and back but even that felt too long. His eyes opened again as he looked up at her. She couldn't stop the way her own had drifted down to his lips, she cursed herself. There was a time and a place and this really wasn't it. Not when he was like this, not when he was as vulnerable as this.

She moved now, knowing that something would happen if she didn't. But she couldn't tell who would've made the first move. Either possibility scared her. Her feet carried her to the kitchen as she retrieved the green box from under her sink and made her way back to him. He hadn't moved an inch. She didn't know what she had been worrying about.

Nikki placed herself next to him, trying to ignore the flutters as her leg rested on his. Using her hand, she pulled him to face her so she could look at the wound properly. It wasn't deep but it did look nasty. As she sat the first aid box in between them she could feel a burning sensation on her thigh. She looked down to see that it had been his palm. She was growing breathless and she hated the fact that he could have this much of an effect on her, _it was just his hand._

But it had been the same hand that had explored her whole body, touched her in ways no one else had. The same hand that had wrapped around her neck as he pushed her over the edge. She had felt the power behind those fingers, she had had them tugging at her hair.

She wanted to shake herself for allowing her mind to wander again, but these were always the thoughts she had at this time of the night. But unlike the other times, Jack was actually here and the temptation to let him have his way with her was becoming too much to bear.

However, the blood that was still trickling down his cheek was a much more pressing matter. She snapped out of it, her face growing more serious as she switched her doctors brain on. She carefully cleaned the wound, not missing how his breathing had become shallow the closer she inched towards him.

His hand was itching to move, he didn't know why he had put it there in the first place. He knew it was risky and crossing the boundary again but she didn't appear to have a problem with it. And he knew Nikki, if she had a problem she would tell him. Her face was getting closer to his as she cleared away the blood. The stinging had stopped, or at least the beating of his heart was distracting him enough that he couldn't feel it anymore. A chill ran down his spine as her other hand rested at his jawline, trying to stop his head from moving.

The feeling of her thumb against his cheek was beginning to become too much for him to handle and he knew that he was about to do something stupid. He reached up, taking hold of her wrist, stilling her movements as she placed butterfly stitches over the wound. She looked down at him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I've never stopped thinking about it," his voice was low, barely a whisper. They hadn't actually spoken about what happened since, well, since it happened. When Jack came back from Mexico and Nikki had stayed out in New York he thought that that was it. That it was their one and only chance but it wasn't meant to be. So when she came back he had just assumed that she didn't want to talk about it. But over the past few months, he couldn't get it out of his head and it was driving him round the bend.

She doesn't need to ask, she already knows what he's talking about. It was as though their minds were in sync with each other. Her heart skipped a beat as she suddenly remembered something her mother had said to her when she was younger. It had been whimsical and at her young age she didn't take it seriously but as she looked at him, she realised then that it was true.

_"They say that when two people are destined to be together, they are joined by an invisible thread. The thread will stretch across the world, it might even tangle but it will never break," Carol's voice soothing Nikki as her fingers ran through her daughters blonde locks._

_"That's just silly mum," Nikki replied, the South African accent still strong at that age._

_"You say that now Nicola Alexander but one day you will meet someone who will take you by surprise," Carol continued despite the curious expression on her daughters face. "You won't realise it at first but one day it will click and you'll feel the thread; pulling you towards them. And you won't be able to stop it because no matter what happens you'll always be connected."_

Her mother had been right, this whole time. Everything made sense now. Why he had been the one to never leave her, why he had always stuck around. Why she had always been drawn to him, even from the very beginning. She had never been one to believe in destiny or fate, she had always been let down. And that innocence that she had tried to hold on to for so long disappeared after her mother died. The cynic inside her relished and clouded her judgement at every given opportunity.

But she could feel herself changing, Jack chipping away at her and allowing her to see a light at the end of the tunnel. A sort of hope that she had lost a lifetime ago. Her thoughts were racing now but they couldn't formulate a single word let alone string a sentence together so she stayed quiet, letting Jack speak.

"Why did you go?" He asked. She had been anticipating that questions for years, surprised that it had taken him this long to come up with it. And he deserved an answer, but he wasn't going to come out of this unscathed. She was ready to give him an answer the moment she got home but he had been the one who didn't want to talk.

"Why did you ignore me for two months?" She quipped, she didn't want to come across annoyed but given the look on his face now, she knew that she had. She let out a sigh as she bowed her head and dropped her arm from his grasp. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. But I wanted to talk to you the moment I got home. I wanted to explain everything. But then you wouldn't answer and it all caught up with me. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't breathe. I kept seeing his face in every reflection. And all I wanted was to hear your voice," there was a sense of anger bubbling up inside her. A rage that she had squashed down at the time because she didn't want to make things worse than they already were. "The only voice that kept me sane in that box."

It was all coming out now and she couldn't tell if that was going to be a good thing or a bad thing. This was an unfinished conversation that they needed to complete years ago. But whereas before, they got interrupted and it was never brought up again. This time, there was no chance of that. They were completely alone, sat in Nikki's living room at three in the morning. Who was going to interrupt them?

"Nikki I'm so sorry," he started; she could tell that he was trying his hardest to hold it together. "Eva put you in that box because she knew that I would do _anything_ to get you back. I even got a man killed just so I could see you again…" he trailed off not quite sure of where he was going with this. But he glanced up at her and he could almost see the cogs turning in her head as she listened intently and without judgement. "When I seen you on that beach I didn't know what to do with myself. I suppose I got caught up in the moment. When you went to New York, after what happened, I thought that we had taken things too far. I went out there to bring you home and I came back without you and our friendship ruined. I failed you, in more ways than one."

Nikki took hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly in hers, "Jack you haven't failed me at all. I left because I needed some time to sort everything out in my head," she explained. "We slept together Jack. It was a heat of the moment thing and it took me by surprise because you're Jack. Sweet, caring and loving Jack. And I destroy things, I destroy people. I didn't want to destroy you. I didn't want to lose you so I ran before I could hurt you even more." The tears slipped down her cheeks as she took a deep breath.

"After I spoke to Harry, he made me realise that I need to stop running away from things that make me happy," her lips twitched and her heart raced. "And _even if_ something went wrong, I wouldn't lose you because I wouldn't let it happen. You mean too much to me."

"Nikki what I said in the hospital," he paused, his eyes transfixed on hers now. But he didn't need to say anything more, she already knew. Nikki gave him the smallest of nods, the smile growing across her face.

She felt like a teenager again, her whole body tingling with excitement as she leaned forward, closing that gap between them. Their lips met in the middle, Jack's hand shooting up to cup her cheek, wanting to hold her close. He could feel the relief washing over him and he felt himself relax for the first time in a long time; the adrenaline coursing through his veins as her mouth melted against his.

She was pushing him back so she could straddle his lap, memories from that night in Mexico flashing in her mind; the pictures more vivid than before. She could feel his fingers running through her hair again as a groan escaped the base of her throat. Their movements frantic as her hand clawed at the dressing gown he still had on.

The hand that wasn't gripping at her, slowly travelled down the curves of her body. He pushed against her as she bucked her hips. They had done this before, they had known how it felt. They had quickly learnt what makes the other tick. The blood was rushing around and he knew that he wasn't going to last much longer, not when he already knew the memory of her touch.

But suddenly her lips left his with a look on her face that made his body run cold, "This is wrong," her voice barely a whisper. "You're vulnerable right now and I don't want to take advantage of that."

His hands were smoothing her hair down now as he stared into her eyes; the contact was strong, he needed her to know that what he was about to say, he meant every word of it, "I came here because I needed to see you, I needed to be with you. It wasn't my intention to let this happen but it was always going to," he was tucking his face into her neck, his lips tracing over her skin. A satisfied smirk spread across his face as she moved, giving him more access.

"I need you Nikki Alexander, more than bloody life itself. And if there's one person who's going to help me get through all of this, it's you," he had mumbled into her flesh.

The vibrations of his voice ran through her body, making her shiver with anticipation. But she couldn't help but get distracted by his words, was he finally admitting that he needed help and that he couldn't do this completely on his own? Her eyes were searching his now as he removed his lips from her jawline. The silence settled around them, they didn't need to say anything else.

* * *

They hadn't slept, by the time they had got upstairs it was only another hour and a half before they had to be at work. So instead, they lay there in each other's arms; their bodies entwined. Nikki's fingers were smoothing over the hair on Jack's arm as it rested across her bare waist.

There had been one other question that had been playing on her mind for the whole day. She hadn't wanted to bring it up earlier, she'd wanted Jack to get everything off his chest that he needed to and, she had figured, that he hadn't given the woman a second thought with everything else going on. But she was still wracking her brain over why DI Ashton had asked for Jack to be removed. She had known something happened between them, she had seen them flirt with each other often throughout the case but she never thought it got serious enough for her to act in such a way. Not even Chrissie had pushed him out like that.

"Are you still awake?" She let out, a smile spreading across her face as his arm tightened around her and his face burrowed further into her neck. She turned in his grasp so she could see him properly.

His eyes had been closed, enjoying the feeling of her body pressed against his and he was at peace, knowing that she wasn't going anywhere. He still held her close though, just in case. But he could sense her glaring at him and he knew the exact look she had on her face. It was the same look she always had when she was about to ask a serious question, and he wasn't sure if he was going to like it or not. He reluctantly opened his eyes but as he caught sight of her, his lips twitched involuntary and he was sure his heart had skipped a beat.

Jack didn't give her a chance to ask her question, his mouth on hers for no other reason other than the fact that he was just able to. Nikki welcomed it, her body unable to fight against him; she liked the way he felt too much. She stilled his hand as it brushed her side. As much as she wanted to give in to him she did want some kind of an answer to a question she was yet to ask.

"Jack," she spoke into his mouth, trying to stop the kiss. She couldn't help but chuckle as he continued with his intentions. His lips left hers as they started their own journey; peppering across her jawline. She could feel herself slowly succumbing to his movements, her fingers knitting through his short, brown hair as his body loomed over hers. She gasped as he bit down into her skin and the pleasure ripped through her. "What happened between you and DI Ashton?" She finally managed to get out.

He stopped dead, not expecting that to come out of her mouth and he was beginning to wonder when she had the time to think over it. He lifted his head, his eyes connected with hers.

"Where's that come from?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, _as if it wasn't obvious,_ "She removed you from the case yesterday Jack, she wouldn't do that unless something serious had happened," she breathed. "It's fine if you don't want to talk about it, it's just I don't remember you saying anything at the time."

Jack bowed his head, he should've known Nikki would question it at some point; she is Nikki after all. It hadn't been something he'd thought twice about at the time, finding it easier to put it to the back of his head. It had all been put to bed then and things had been forgiven between himself and Kate, he never thought she'd boot him off a case because of it however.

As much as he wanted to try, he knew he wasn't going to get out of this question so he settled down next to her, his head returning to the pillow. He reached out, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she gazed back at him.

"You remember that day when I went to the crime scene and ended up in hospital?" He began, waiting for her to respond before he continued; Nikki just settled with a simple nod, her fingers brushing over the small scar on his torso. Jack's breath hitched at her touch, he could feel the goosebumps. "When we were doing a sweep of the area, she tried to kiss me."

Nikki pulled her eyebrows together, "I'm assuming you didn't want her to kiss you?"

Jack shook his head, "I said that I could report her for it but she told me that she would just turn it back around on me," he sighed, he recalled how he had joked about it with Clarissa; he was starting to miss her making light of dark moments, her quick and wistful quotes. "I left it because I just thought, who are they going to believe? Her word against mine Nikki, doesn't stand for much."

"I would've backed you. Clarissa and Thomas too," Nikki pointed out.

"I know," he gave her a soft smile as his arms moved to bring her closer to him, her body now flush against his. Her hand rested on his chest, his heart beating under her palm. "It was just a kiss, no big deal. Forgot about it within a week anyway."

"She still took advantage of you though and it's not exactly fair that she's punishing you for something _she_ did," she spoke. She opened her mouth, still not finished with her point, but he was quickly interrupting her.

"Nikki I know what you're going to say and don't," he warned, although his tone wasn't completely serious. "I don't want you raking it all up, it's done now, forgotten about. I'm not bothered about the case, it's really not that big of a deal."

"I just think it's out of order that she-" his lips were on hers again, stopping her. Despite having more to say, she found herself relaxing into the kiss, her hand cupping his cheek as he moved on top of her again; their bodies fitting together as though they were perfectly matched. The last pieces of a puzzle.

* * *

It had been a week. A week since Jack and Nikki had started this unofficial relationship. They weren't really sure of how to treat it but Jack hadn't been able to keep his hands off her, stealing a kiss from her every time they happened to be alone. Nikki had cursed him on more than one occasion; knowing that someone could walk in at any moment. She didn't want to rush anything and she wanted to keep it to themselves for a little while yet.

She'd dived in head first with her relationship with Matt, wanting to cling onto everything with all her might. She had nearly lost her life in Mexico and she came back appreciating life to the fullest. Matt was a beacon in her cave of darkness and she didn't want to let that go.

But things were different with Jack, she wasn't in that place anymore. She didn't need to grasp onto the moments that brought her happiness because she was already happy. Content. She now had everything she had ever wanted. She hadn't seen a future with Matt, not really - she had been merely living in the moment. But when she looked at Jack she could see it all; her past, her present _and_ her future.

The case hadn't progressed much further but they had managed to track down a name, _Jacob Simons._ That had been just about it, no other information. No family, no history. Nothing else about this man that they could find. It was as though he didn't exist in the first place.

That was until they had a phone call, they had found another body and the police seem to think it's linked to the first murder. It had been found not five minutes away from the original crime scene and they had found a gun lying next to the body. A gun that could well be the exact gun that killed Jacob; all they had to do was to find out if the bullets matched. And if so, if there was any DNA on the handle that would prove that the now dead man had in fact been the killer of _Jacob Simons._

Nikki had taken a step back, for both herself and for Jack. She had managed to keep herself away from DI Ashton, not trusting herself to hold her tongue around the woman; she promised Jack that she wouldn't get involved after all. That hadn't stopped her glares from across the room every time they ended up in the same one. Daggers that hadn't gone unnoticed by Evan whose curiosity peaked even more when he had caught Jack and Nikki leaving the Lyell centre one night, their hands brushing before Jack had slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him and dropping a kiss to her head. Evan had just nodded to himself, finally getting an answer to a question he had had from the moment he'd set foot in the place.

Sam had been in the middle of performing the post mortem when Nikki walked into the observation room. She instantly regretted her decision when she clocked the back of DI Ashton's head. But Kate was already turning around, offering Nikki a small smile.

"Nikki is there a problem?" She asked, noticing the irritated expression on Nikki's face.

Nikki bit the inside of her cheek, she was stuck now and she knew that she wouldn't be able to hold herself back, "Excuse me?" She replied innocently.

Kate raised an eyebrow at her as she folded her arms, "There's clearly an issue so please, whatever it is, get it off your chest."

Nikki's chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath; her mouth set in a straight line. She didn't want this conversation, she had promised Jack. But when has that ever stopped her before? She had always been one to stick her nose into other people's business, unable to stop herself; it had been the investigator inside her, always searching for some kind of an answer.

"Okay," she sighed, taking a step forward and placing her hands on the railings. Her eyes were focused on Sam in the mortuary as she manoeuvred herself around the body. She couldn't meet Kate's eye, she was scared of what she might do if she did. "Why did you take Jack off this case?"

Kate scoffed, expecting that question, "Jack Hodgson is not the man you think he is," she spat, her own hands coming to rest on the metal bar now. "I don't know how long you've known him but I've seen him up close and personal and trust me, I would stay as far away from him as possible."

Nikki shook her head, trying to control her temper as she heard the words coming out of the woman's mouth, "What actually happened between the two of you?" She pushed, intrigued by what she was actually going to come up with. "It must've been serious enough for you to remove him."

Kate's head dipped before she looked over at Nikki, catching her eye, "He tried to kiss me at one of the crime scenes," she said bluntly. "I didn't report it because I didn't want to make a fuss and truthfully, I never thought I would see him again. When I seen him last week it brought it all back and I didn't want him anywhere near me."

She turned away, the irritation bubbling now and she couldn't stop herself, she couldn't hold it in any longer, "That's very different from Jack's version," Nikki pointed out. "Quite the opposite in fact."

"What has he said?" Kate queried, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Enough," Nikki took a step forward, lowering her voice now. "I have known Jack for a long time and although on the outside he can be abrasive and he can lose his temper easily, on the inside he is as soft as butter. And he would never do anything to hurt anyone, nor would he take advantage of anyone. So know this, if you ever decide to take your accusation further, I will be by his side the whole time. It's women like you that make men scared to come forward when they have been abused, in fear that they won't be believed."

A satisfied smile spread across Nikki's face as she watched Kate gulp; suddenly feeling threatened by the shorter, blonde woman. Nikki blinked slowly before pushing past Kate. She continued through the hallway and into the offices, finding Jack sat at his desk. She stopped, watching him for a moment as he studied the piece of paper sitting in front of him. He had been lumbered with the paperwork for the time being, a job he had always hated.

She slowly edged into the room but the heel of her shoes gave her away, his gaze meeting hers as his head snapped up. Her stomach flipped as she watched his whole face light up, his eyes quickly looking around the room. He was checking they were alone before he held his hand out, encouraging her to make her way over to him. Nikki tilted her head as she gave in, her lips twitching as she took hold of his hand and perched herself on his desk.

"Why are you looking so pleased with yourself?" He questioned, recognising that look on Nikki's face.

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Just reminding people of their place that's all," her eyes searched his, waiting for him to click onto it. Once he opened his mouth to speak she knew he had. "Now before you say anything, I only told her that if she were to take it any further then, I would support you the whole way."

"I told you not to get involved," Jack huffed, releasing her hand from his.

"Jack," she let out. "I asked her why she had taken you off the case and she started saying things about you, things that I knew weren't true. And I'm not going to stand back and let her ruin the reputation of a man that I," she paused, feeling breathless now. "That I really care about."

Jack went to say something but he was cut off by the sound of footsteps heading in their direction. His eyes looked around the room, noticing that it had been Kate who came into the room, her face emotionless.

"Jack, can we have a word?" She stopped a few metres from him. She glanced at Nikki briefly before turning to Jack again. "In private?"

His eyes flicked between the two women. He knew Nikki wasn't going to budge and in a way he didn't want her to. She had always been a part of his life but she was even more now. And he wanted to share every part of him with her, so if there was anything that DI Ashton wanted to say to him, she could say it in front of Nikki as well, "Go on, I've nothing to hide so, say what you have to say."

Kate breathed deeply, her hands held together in front of her, "I'm sorry for what happened between us Jack, I misjudged the situation and I took advantage of you," she began. "And I'm sorry for punishing you by taking you off the case as a result of my own actions. So, I'm happy to put this all behind us and to let you back on the case. It does seem idiotic of me to remove a more than capable and brilliant forensic scientist."

Jack nodded slowly, digesting her words, "Thank you," was all he could come up with, it was all she really deserved. There was nothing else to be said about the matter, she had apologised and that's all he needed. She stayed quiet as she left the room, knowing that there was nothing else to be discussed.

He watched as she left, Nikki still sat on the edge of his desk. Her eyes were boring into him. He didn't know how to feel, he was relieved that he finally had something else to do other than paperwork Sam had thrown in his direction. But he couldn't help but feel somewhat annoyed by Nikki, but then he should've known that she would go digging. It was very typical of her. He rolled his eyes as he chuckled at himself, his head bowing.

His hand was taking hold of hers again, squeezing it tightly, "I suppose I should thank you for that," he breathed. Nikki didn't say much else, she just leaned forward; her hands resting either side of his face as her lips captured his. He was taken back, not expecting the public display of affection but he wasn't complaining.

Her lips left his, a twinkle in her eye, "I could think of many ways you could thank me," she whispered, winking at him.

Jack's eyes widened and he knew his face had turned a bright red. He had been acting like a teenager for the past week, unable to get her off his mind and unable to keep his hands away from her. He couldn't help it, she had occupied his mind for the past eight years but now those thoughts were even worse, now that he was able to freely love her as he pleased.

Nikki gasped as he felt his hand snaking up her thigh, she was quick to stop him in his movements, remembering just exactly where they were. And just who could walk in at any moment.

She pulled away from him, not keen on taking things too far at this present moment in time but she couldn't stop the grin that was spreading across her face as she stared back into his eyes. She could feel her cheeks burning pink and she knew that she was going to have to move before things went too far.

She stood, making her way round to her own desk and sitting down on her chair. Although she couldn't bring herself to tear her eyes away from his.

Their gaze was quickly broken, however, by Evan bustling into the room; bags of evidence in his hands. He didn't take much notice of the pair for once, his mind too busy with all the tests he was going to have to run over the next hour. He was surprised when Jack walked over to him, picking up one of the bags, "Do you want me to help?"

Evan's head snapped up, "But I thought you were-"

"Just a big misunderstanding," Jack corrected, winking at Nikki before carrying the knife over to the lab. "Come on then Evan lets get cracking."

Evan's eyes were flicking between Jack and Nikki, his mind whirring with so many thoughts; unable to understand how so much had happened in so little time. And why DI Ashton had suddenly changed her mind about having Jack on the case.

It had been a few hours after Evan and Jack had started processing all the evidence Evan had managed to gather from the second crime scene. But given the fact that they currently still had a dead man with a bullet wound in their freezer and another dead boy found with a gun in his hands, they knew where this was going. They just needed the hard evidence to prove that. They had also recovered a knife from the scene, no doubt the same knife that was used to kill the boy. But at least this time they had a weapon they could work from and hopefully get some evidence.

They were still waiting on the results as Sam called them to the observation room, along with DI Ashton, for a briefing about the post mortem she had just performed. Sam glared at Jack as he walked into the room, making himself comfortable next to Nikki. She was quick to notice that he had slipped a hand underneath the table and she had to stop herself from rolling her eyes as she guessed instantly where it had gone. She was even more shocked by the lack of reaction from DI Ashton, she had asked for Jack to take a step back from the case but she seemingly didn't have a problem with him sitting in now.

Her eyes flicked between them all before she caved and asked, "Is someone going to tell me what's going on?"

Jack's head shot up at Kate's before turning to Sam's, the hand that was now resting on Nikki's thigh tightening. He opened his mouth to speak but DI Ashton had beaten him to it, "I asked Jack if he wanted to join the case again now that we have sorted out our issues."

He avoided the temptation to scoff, _she_ was the one with an issue after all. But he knew it wasn't worth it and he agreed to put it all behind him and forget about it so that was what he was going to do.

Sam nodded slowly, not entirely convinced but not caring all that much in the moment. As long as everyone was getting along with each other then she wasn't bothered about all the formalities. And frankly, she was glad to have Jack back, he always brought insight to the team and it wasn't the same without him.

"Well I'll just get started then," she turned, pressing her fingers on the board to bring up the photos from the post mortem. "I'm still waiting on blood results and DNA analysis to confirm the ID but cause of death was a fatal stab wound to the femoral artery in his left leg. The size of the wound corresponds with the measurements of the knife we found at the scene so it's pretty likely that that was the weapon used. Obviously the tests will confirm if the blood on the knife does belong to our victim."

"Do we know how old he is?" DI Ashton asked.

"I placed his age to be between twenty-five to twenty-eight," Sam confirmed, edging closer to the table in the middle of the room. "Any luck with those witnesses?"

Kate pulled up her notepad, "A woman walking her dog in the area seen a group of young boys running away from around the area of the crime scene. She couldn't be sure but she thought she seen blood on one of them," she explained before looking over at Evan. "Have you checked the gun or knife for fingerprints?"

Evan nodded, "I sent off the samples a couple of hours ago, we should get them back soon," he spoke.

"Did you swab his hands for gunshot residue?" Nikki piped up, directing her question at Sam.

"Yes," Sam answered quickly. "Positive. His right hand."

"So we can say that he is the one who shot Jacob Simons, yes?" DI Ashton queried, her eyes looking around the room.

"We'll have to wait for the test results to come back but I would say that it was pretty likely," Sam spoke, nodding her head.

"So who stabbed _him_?" DI Ashton pondered, letting out a sigh. "If this woman saw a group of boys running away from the scene, is it possible that it's gang related? Possibly even drugs?"

"An eye for an eye," Jack breathed. Nikki had rested her own hand on top of his where it still sat on her leg. "They kill Jacob so they take one of theirs. This could go on and on for a long time. We'll have to hope that whoever's fingerprints are on that knife, they've been charged before so we can nip this in the bud quickly."

"Who's to say that will be it though?" Nikki pointed out. "How many times have we seen this? Groups of young boys having turf wars, it never ends. They just learn how to work the system and you can't arrest them all."

"No," Kate agreed. "But we can make a small difference and we can teach them that they have to pay for their crimes. We can't defeat them all in one go but we can make a start, make them realise that maybe this isn't the lifestyle they want, give them a chance to make a change."

Nikki listened, knowing that the fellow woman was right. But she had lost count of how many young boys and men she had to do post mortems on over the years. People throwing their lives away for the sake of staying loyal to a group. She supposed it wasn't their fault, society had failed them, failed to give them any decent opportunities in life. Forced them into a world of crime just so they can get by and entertain themselves. She hated it.

She wished with all her power that she could change it, change how the system worked. But she knew that there was little she could do because the cycle would just continue. Again and again. She took a deep breath, trying not to let it get to her too much otherwise she'd be up all night thinking about it and she'd only just caught up on the sleep she lost the night Jack came round. Not that she was complaining, not in the slightest.

The room had gone quiet, there was not much else to say. DI Ashton had been in the middle of packing her stuff up ready to leave when a notification sounded off on Evan's phone. Picking it up from the desk, his eyes widened as he read through the email; the results had come back on the tests he'd run.

"What is it?" Sam urged, noticing the look on his face.

"The boy's name is Akash Khan, he's got previous drug convictions, been in and out of prison," he started, his eyes reading over the words. "It was definitely his prints on the gun. The prints on the knife however, belong to a Charlie Graham. I'll pull his file up now."

Evan moved, typing the name into the laptop in the middle of the desk. A picture of the boy popped up; blonde hair, brown eyes, an almost innocent look on his face. Not at all like the person you would expect to have been involved in drug crimes and at least two murders. "He also has previous for drug convictions," Evan explained. "In his notes it says that he has been known to be involved in various local gangs. All of which are associated with the supplying and selling of drugs."

"Do we have an address for him?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," Evan nodded, already typing it into his phone to send over to the detective, already knowing what she was going to do.

"Jack, will you?" She started but Jack had stood up, raring to go. He knew officially he would be going to do a forensic sweep of the area and to collect DNA from the suspect but he also knew that DI Ashton was going to need an extra pair of hands; should anything happen.

He didn't miss the worried look on Nikki's face however and from the way she was clenching her fist against her thigh he knew that she was itching to take hold of his hand. Ever since that night he found that it had always been her reaching to hold his hand, or resting her head on his shoulder. He'd never seen her like it before, it had always been him; something he had a hard time controlling over the years. Her soft touch made his heart flutter in ways he never thought it could and he was beginning to wonder why they had wasted so much time getting to this point.

As his eyes caught with hers, he suddenly realised that he didn't care if people knew about them. It had only been a week but they lived in their own world anyway, it didn't matter if people were aware of their change in relationship. Leaning down he pressed his lips onto the top of her head.

Nikki almost jumped, her eyes darting around the room. But no one was taking much notice of them; they had all probably guessed anyway, they hadn't been doing that great of a job hiding it. She leaned into his touch; she knew that he would be fine and he could protect himself but after everything that had happened, she just wished that he wouldn't put himself into unnecessary danger. Anything could happen and the last thing she wanted - or needed - right now was to sit next to Jack in yet another hospital bed. She wasn't sure if she would be able to cope this time, not after so much had been said between them. Not now when they were finally at the place they had always wanted to be. Not now when she was finally happy.

She didn't say anything to him, she didn't need to. Jack already knew what she was thinking, every single word. And she hoped that he was listening. And that he wasn't just going to go charging in there all heroic and wanting to be the one to save the day. A shiver ran down her spine as he walked away from her, the loss of contact between them giving her chills.

She was baffled at how much had changed between them in such a short space of time. But when she dug into it, not that much had changed. They were just being open and honest with each other; allowing themselves to love freely and show affection - something she had caught a glimpse of with her relationship with Matt. But that didn't feel genuine. It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself that she loved him to crush down the feelings she had for Jack.

But with Jack it all felt so easy; natural. She didn't have to try or make an effort. She could just simply _be._ Her lips twitched fondly as she watched him leave through the doorway; her cheeks growing warmer by the second. She felt like a teenager all over again, but she was going to cling onto that feeling with all her might. And although she could hear the voice at the back of her head, telling her of what might happen if it all went wrong, she ignored it. Even if it did go wrong they'd still be friends; that she was sure of.

Sam watched the interaction between the pair, a smirk spreading across her as she nodded her head to herself, _finally_ , she thought. She had been wondering just how long it was going to take before they cracked and after what had happened last week she wasn't surprised. Seeing that body had obviously brought up memories for the both of them and from what Nikki had mentioned over the past couple of months she assumed that it had something to do with that case in Mexico. And if it did then other things would've been brought up as well. She was happy for them, it was about time they'd stopped dancing around each other. She chuckled as she thought about what their previous colleagues would be saying now, no doubt feeling just as relieved as she was - and she'd only been here for the best part of a year.

Her eyes had connected with Evan's briefly, the two of them thinking the same thing as they too left the observation room; leaving Nikki alone with her thoughts.

* * *

DI Ashton and Jack drove to the address Evan had sent over to them. It wasn't that far away and from what Jack could gather, it was in the middle of the two crime scenes; give or take a few metres.

Not much was said on the journey; there was nothing worth saying. And despite the fact they had made up and agreed to forget about it, Jack was hoping that they could wrap up the case pretty soon. The less time he spent with DI Ashton the better. He still didn't trust her completely.

But he didn't have much time to think over it as they were pulling up into the street; both shocked to find that it was rather ordinary. Almost middle class Jack would argue. Certainly not what he expected a 'leader of the gang' to live. Although this Charlie Graham did seem to look very young in the photos so no doubt he still lived with his parents and no doubt he was just some young lad that had gotten too big for his boots.

Jack and Kate shared a brief look between them before they made their way to the front door of the house. They were shocked to be greeted by a short, pleasant looking woman who still had a smile on her face despite her eyebrows furrowing at the pair staring back at her.

Kate was pulling out her badge from her pocket, "My name is DI Ashton, can we have a word with your son Charlie please?"

Jack almost felt his ears prick up as he heard the sound of a gate crashing in the distance, he slowly turned his head only to see a young boy running; one who looked rather like the young boy in the photo. _Innocent people don't run,_ he thought to himself as he patted Kate on the arm before chasing after the boy.

His mum was calling after her son and he knew that Kate was trying to hold her back and take control of the situation. The boy had managed to get a bit of a head start but Jack was catching up quickly. He could hear sirens approaching them and he knew that if he didn't catch him then somebody would. But that didn't stop him though as his legs continued to carry him through the small side streets and alleyways. He was losing his breath; a reminder that despite making sure to keep himself as fit as possible, he wasn't getting any younger.

Jack took a few strides into the road, his hand reaching out to grab the boys jacket when he felt himself being pushed down to the floor; his whole body crashing against the concrete. He groaned as he felt a sharp pain in his side. He could see the people getting out of their car, ready to help him but he was trying to push himself off the floor, trying to keep an eye on the young boy that was quickly disappearing.

He relaxed when he spotted the police surrounding him, stopping him and handcuffing him. He could feel a hand on his back and some woman trying to ask if he was okay but he was brushing her off still attempting to lift himself back up to his feet. He eventually managed it but the pain in his side hadn't disappeared; no doubt he had gone and given himself a few cracked ribs.

"Jack are you alright?" DI Ashton called out, catching up to him - out of breath herself.

Jack just nodded slowly, breathing through the pain, "I'll be fine," he muttered, he could really do without everyone fussing over him.

* * *

"Do you know, I can't remember the last time I had an afternoon off," Nikki chuckled as she walked into her room, two mugs in her hands and Jack's flannel shirt hung over her slim frame and scraping her knees. She placed the cups down on the side before joining him as he lay in her bed, the covers draped over the lower half of his body.

She moved slowly, the bruises on his sides a bright purple. She had panicked when he'd returned to the Lyell wincing in pain and she had marched him straight to the locker room so she could look over his injuries properly and make sure that he hadn't done too much damage to himself.

As she had watched him undress earlier, she was quickly reminded of the last time they had been in this position. The locker room, the bruised ribs. She had rushed there after hearing about what had happened despite her mind being occupied with someone else. Hearing the words "Jack has been hurt," had thrown everything else to the side.

When he had been run over the last time, she nearly lost him. She had seen him on that hospital bed, all the wires coming out of him. She had held his hand, she had cried for him. She should've realised it then. How much he meant to her, how much she couldn't bear to live without him. But she pushed those feelings down then, he had too much on his plate let alone having her admitting her feelings for him in the midst of everything.

Then he had been stabbed yet somehow it didn't seem to get to her much then, or at least, she tried to not let it get to her. He had survived these things before so what difference did it make? He had been beaten and run over yet he still made it out the other end. Her heart had broken more for Clarissa than it had Jack. It was then she truly realised how much Mexico had changed and damaged their relationship; they had apologised and forgave each other but there was still that wedge between them.

It could've been Matt. It could've been the fact that they were too stubborn to let their guard down to one another again. She didn't know. She supposed it didn't matter now though. Nearly losing him again last year had hit her with all the realisation she needed.

Matt aside, it was Jack that she had wanted. This whole time. She had denied and pretended for too long. But seeing him in that hospital bed again, hearing him struggle to get those words out; as if that was going to be his only chance to say them. It had hit her like a tonne of bricks.

She didn't speak to Matt for weeks, only able to hear Jack's voice in her head. She visited him nearly every day once she was allowed to actually sit in with him. She held his hand and promised him that she would never leave. She had sworn down to him that she would be there for his dad. And she had been.

She'd pick him up to take him to the hospital, she had gone round to make him some food and keep him company whilst he worried about his son. She listened to him and offered comforting words. He'd quipped about how many times her phone would ring in one night but she brushed it off, "It's no one important." That's why Matt, she supposed, had gone looking elsewhere, she could see it now. She had been so wrapped up in Conor and Jack that she hadn't given Matt a second thought.

In hind sight, it was probably for the best because it had brought her here. With a healthy - yet battered and bruised - Jack lying in her bed looking at her in a way that made her feel weak at the knees. That made her stomach flutter in the same way it had the first time she met him at that crime scene.

Her hand cupped his cheek as she captured his lips, she pulled back; her eyes flickering open and being met by his green. "I love you," she barely let out. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, she had known it for a long time - or rather it had known her. But she couldn't face actually saying it, having the words forming in her mouth.

She had said it to Matt countless of times, when she had tried to cling onto him; to stop him from walking away. But it had lost it's meaning very quickly, that's if she had ever meant it in the first place. But as her eyes stuck with Jack's she knew she meant every word.

Jack's lip twitched as he just about caught what she said. It had felt as though all the air had been sucked out of him. Nikki Alexander, _the_ Nikki Alexander just told him that she loves him. He had been dreaming of this moment for years, although he hadn't quite imagined that he would be lying in her bed unable to move for the pain in his sides.

He was quick to catch the tear that had slipped down her cheek, the pad of his thumb rough against her soft skin, "I love you too," he whispered. He had said it before, when he thought he was dying. When he thought that he would never get to look into those big brown eyes of hers ever again. He had wanted to say it, to let her know how he really felt before he went. He wanted her to know how much she truly meant to him. Although he had a feeling that she already knew that; always an intuitive one.

Her mouth was on his again, he could never get used to that feeling; her lips pressed against his. It felt like the most natural thing in the world and he could feel every nerve in his body tingling. His arm snaked around her waist pulling her closer to him but he was quickly groaning as he had that sharp stabbing pain in his side again.

Nikki pulled back, biting down on her lip to stop herself from laughing as she watched him trying to make himself comfortable again, "I'm sorry," she smirked at him.

"You're worth the pain," he winked, causing her to roll her eyes at him as she leaned over to pick up her mug.

She couldn't take her eyes off him as she sipped at her drink. She still worried about him. He seemed to have been doing better since that night and he had always been one to bounce back from things very quickly. But that was the worst she had ever seen him and she couldn't be sure that he had fully gotten over it. She had been meaning to suggest speaking to someone for the past couple of days but she wasn't sure of how he would react.

Her mind casting back to the time she had said something similar to Matt, he'd walked away from her in a huff, almost offended that she could offer something like that. But she had to keep reminding herself that Jack was different, he wasn't Matt. Jack had suffered through most of what she had suffered through. They had experienced and shared things together. He wouldn't be offended - or at least she hoped not.

She reached out, her hand brushing through his hair causing him to glance up at her, "Have you thought about talking to someone?" She asked, her voice calm.

Jack furrowed his brows, wondering where that had come from. But if he was being honest, he had come to stop questioning things so much where Nikki was concerned, she often come up with random things. He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know."

"I think it might be good," she breathed. "It helped me a lot, to get things off my chest. That doesn't mean to say you can't talk to me because you can and I am always here to listen. But it might help opening up to someone who can give you better advice than I can."

Jack's eyes searched hers, it hadn't been something he'd considered if he was being totally honest. The idea of talking to a complete stranger about the ins and outs, and ups and downs of his life didn't seem like the most ideal thing to him. But he had seen a change in Nikki ever since she had reached out for help, she seemed calmer; more at peace with the world. And she wouldn't suggest it if she didn't think it would help him. And he for one, trusted her opinion above everyone else's.

"Okay," he nodded. "I think it's about time I sorted out this head of mine anyway," he joked, Nikki just scoffed at him but there was still a smile on her face.

Nikki let out a bated breath, feeling herself relax knowing that Jack wasn't about to kick off. He actually agreed with her. She didn't know what else to say, there was nothing that had to be said so she nestled her head into the crook of his neck. The smile growing as she felt him wrapping his arm around her holding her tightly against him.

She was happy, truly happy. She had never felt peace quite like it. She had spent her whole life looking for her other half, someone who matched her perfectly. Someone who could tolerate yet understand her stubbornness and unwillingness to let things go. Someone who would know what it feels like to have lost everything but still come out the other end. Someone who would be there with her through thick and thin and would never leave her side.

It had been Jack this whole time. Kind, caring and trustworthy Jack. For the first time in a long time she felt at one with the world. She had got everything she had ever wanted; someone to love her just as much as she loved them.

Jack watched her slowly fade away, her eyes closed and her breathing evening out. He never thought he had seen her so calm and without tension in her face. And he felt as though he was falling in love with her all over again and he knew that he could quite quickly get used to this.

He had to tell his dad though. Jack had lost count of the amount of times Conor had gushed over Nikki over the past couple of months, every time he had gone round to see his father it had been "Nikki this" and "Nikki that," and he had always asked after her, wondering what she had been up to. And also wondering when Jack was going to make his move.

He thought back to those weeks he had spent in the hospital, Nikki bringing his dad to see him almost every day. And every time she had left the room to give them some space his dad was always quick to remind him that he should stop wasting his time and get her before it's too late.

He'd be over the moon and no doubt Jack would get a pat on the back from him. He'd always be grateful to her for the way she had been there for his father, no questions asked. She had taken it upon herself to drive him around and make him food; from what his dad had told him anyway. So it was no wonder that he hadn't stopped going on about her so much. But that was Nikki all over, completely selfless. Whether she had loved him or not, he knew that she would do the same thing a million times over.

Jack could feel the sleep creeping up on him as he let his eyes close. The body pressed into his side calming him, making him feel whole. After searching for it for so long, he was finally home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Acceptance - Someone from Jack's past suddenly reappears in his life, how will this affect his and Nikki's burgeoning relationship? Or will there be something else that pushes them apart?


	9. Acceptance - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone from Jack's past suddenly reappears in his life, how will this affect his and Nikki's burgeoning relationship? Or will there be something else that pushes them apart?

She could feel the heat spreading across her face as she frantically dug through piles of paperwork, she knew she had seen it somewhere. The wave of nausea was washing over her again and she had to hold on the side to steady herself whilst she took deep breaths. She didn't know what was wrong with her, well, she had an idea. But she needed to find her diary to confirm her thoughts. Or she could just take a test, that would give her an answer almost straight away. But there could've been a number of reasons as to why this was all happening now, she wasn't exactly getting any younger.

Nikki managed to settle her stomach as she continued to breath in through her nose and out of her mouth, calming herself down. But she jumped out of her skin as she felt an arm snaking around her waist. The smile still spread across her face however as his head tucked into her neck, pressing his lips to her flesh. She tilted her head, allowing him more access. She gasped as he nipped her and she was quick to turn around in his grasp, their lips now inches apart. She was the one to close the gap between them, capturing his mouth with hers, a groan escaping from the back of her throat.

Her mind completely forgetting about what she had been looking for in the first place, more occupied with the feeling of Jack's hand brushing over every curve of her body, making her skin tingle with excitement. Her fingers combing through his short brown hair, pulling him closer to her as the kiss deepened. She would never get used to that feeling, or at least she hoped she wouldn't. But as his lips left hers and travelled down her jawline she could feel the sickness approaching again and she was quick to stop him.

"What's wrong?" He lifted his head, his eyes full of concern as they searched hers. He furrowed his brow further as all the colour drained from her face and he could see that she was struggling to breathe. He placed the back of his hand against her forehead, she felt hot yet clammy. "Are you going to be sick?"

Nikki just shrugged her shoulders, closing her eyes and trying to swallow it down as best she could. She squeezed Jack's arm in her hands, trying to steady herself as the nausea passed.

Jack stayed watching her, trying to get an idea of what just happened, "How about you take the day off?" Nikki snapped her head to look at him, perturbed by his suggestion. He held his hands up in defence. "Look you deserve to have some time off and there's no way Sam will let you in like this. I'm just saving you the bother of going in only to be sent home again."

Nikki shook her head, "No, I'll be fine," she brushed him off, making her way to the kettle to switch it on. Jack was quick to join her, picking the kettle up and taking it over to the sink.

"You have to actually put water in it first," he quipped, raising an eyebrow at her and smirking. "Go back to bed, okay? Sam will understand-" Nikki opened her mouth to speak but Jack was cutting her off, placing his hands on her shoulders after putting the kettle back on it's stand. "I'm not taking no for an answer Nikki Alexander, do you understand? You can't possibly be expected to perform a post mortem when you can't even remember to put the water in the kettle."

Nikki sighed, admitting defeat; he had a point, she wouldn't be of much use to anyone whilst her mind was busy with other thoughts. But she still needed to find her diary and she was sure that she had brought it home with her. She was distracted once again by Jack's palms cupping her cheeks and his lips pressing into her forehead. She leaned into it, welcoming the comfort.

She had grown so used to having him around, almost too quickly she thought sometimes. He had all but officially moved in; most of his stuff was here but they were yet to have that conversation. He did make a concerted effort to go back to his apartment on the odd day but it was never for very long.

He had been doing better though, she could see the improvement already. He'd only attended two sessions but there was a lightness to him, he wasn't completely there yet; he still had a long way to go. But he was on a positive path and he was getting better. And he hadn't so much as stepped foot in _that_ area of the gym for the last month so that was something at the very least.

Her face mirrored his as he grinned at her before he was wrapping his arm around her shoulder and guiding her towards the stairs, "Now go on, go back to bed. I'll ring you in a couple of hours to see how you are."

She rolled her eyes at him but for once, she did as she was told. She'd forgotten what time she had actually got up but she knew that it had been a few hours ago and the sleep was creeping up on her again and she knew that the moment her head hit the pillow she would be fast asleep.

As she reached the bed she pulled the covers back, tucking herself under and closing her eyes. The last thing she heard was a faint goodbye from Jack and a slam of the front door.

* * *

Jack swiped his card in the door, balancing three coffees and a few pastries in his free hand as he pushed his back into the glass; allowing him to enter the building.

"Evan," he called out, rounding the corner to find the young boy sat at his desk. He had furrowed his eyebrows together, quick to notice that Jack was missing his shadow. "Before you ask, she's not feeling great so I told her to stay in bed."

Evan nodded slowly, the smirk spreading across his face, "So when are we going to place bets on how long it's going to take her to come back in?"

Jack chuckled at the boy's wit, "How do you know I haven't already started?" He winked, pulling one of the cups out of the holder to pass to him, along with a small brown bag. "It's your last week with us isn't it?"

"Unfortunately so," Sam answered for him as she walked into the room, accepting the coffee Jack was now holding out to her. Her eyes glanced around the room, wondering where the blonde haired woman was. It wasn't like Nikki to be late, even more strange that Jack would be here without her these days. "No Nikki?"

Jack shook his head, "No, I told her to stay in bed for a few more hours," he explained, moving to sit down in his chair and take his coat off. "I don't know what she was doing but she was up at stupid o'clock and when I came down she looked as though she was going to empty her stomach in front of me so I told her to stay at home."

Sam pondered, that really was unlike Nikki. In the whole year that she had been here now, not once had Nikki phoned in sick or had been too ill to not come into work. She made a mental note to message her later before she was turning her attention back to Evan, "Yes, it's going to be a shame for us to let you go," she smiled at the young boy. She had grown quite fond of him over the past few months. And despite having his own fair share of difficulties he's managed to pull through them and look back on his experience at the Lyell in a positive way. "I was wondering actually," she started, edging into the room.

Jack's ears pricked up at Sam's tone, wondering where she was going to lead with this.

"When you pass your exams, if you're looking for a job, there'll always be a place for you here," she looked at Jack now. "Isn't that right Jack?"

He nodded, "Absolutely," he beamed. "We'd be fools to let your brains go."

Evan's eyes flicked between the two of them, his heart racing now, "Thank you both so much for everything you've done for me for, well, the past year. I'd thank Nikki as well but she's not here," he laughed. "And I hope that if I do pass and when I will eventually want a job, that place will still be available to me." The smile dropped now, "It's just that with everything that has happened with Theo I think I need a break. I'm going to pass my exams for him and then I'm going to live my life for a bit."

"And that's completely understandable," Sam agreed. "Of course, there'll always be a place for you here, even if it's just for a friendly chat. We've grown quite used to having you around the place-" She was cut off by her phone ringing in her office. Excusing herself she made her way back to her office.

"So, what are you going to do with your time off?" Jack asked, curious now.

Evan shrugged, "I don't know. Have to pass my exams first," he sighed, he had been doing everything that he should've been doing. And he knew that he was ahead in his studying but he couldn't help but feel nervous all the same. These were the big ones and after the year he's already had, he really didn't feel like having to resit the year.

"Well you don't have to worry about that," Jack scoffed, a grin on his face. "You'll pass with flying colours. You've given me a run for my money this year, that's for sure."

Evan opened his mouth to shoot something along the lines of 'whatever' back at Jack but Sam was heading back into the room, adjusting her coat with one hand and the other holding onto her silver case, "They've found a body," she chuckled; the words being the catchphrase to her entire life.

Neither hesitated as they got themselves ready, Jack quickly dropping a text to Nikki to let her know where they were. He knew she'd come in at some point, she never could stay away from the place for very long. He had argued over the years that it was him she couldn't bare to part from. She'd always given him one of her death glares but he couldn't help but smile at the fact she wouldn't be able to argue against that so much now.

This romance with Nikki had really been a whirlwind but in truth, he hadn't expected anything less. They had been dancing around each other for so long that it was no surprise the moment they finally admitted how they felt towards each other they'd ended up in a fully fledged relationship by the next day. They still took their time with each other though, Jack knowing that Nikki often had issues when it came to the idea of relationships and he knew how quickly she would run and hide from them. And Nikki had seen first hand of Jack's destructive behaviour.

But they were both sensitive and careful with one another, not expecting too much and taking it all one day at a time; even if they had been living in each other's pockets for a little over a month. They understood each other in ways that surprised them; more often than not understanding each other more than they did themselves. He'd never quite got the concept of having an 'other half'; the idea that two people could be one half of a whole being absurd to him. He had never experienced that in his lifetime, he had never seen it - not even with his own mother and father.

But as he spent more and more time with Nikki the more he realised that she completed the other half of him and it scared him to think of what he would do without her now. She had always been there; the finally piece of the puzzle, waiting to fit into place. He supposed, however, that if everything had slotted into it's place now then that would be it. He wouldn't be without her.

Jack shook his thoughts away as he sat in the passenger seat of the car, he knew he was getting carried away with himself but he had never felt love this strong before. He had thought he'd known that feeling, with Katie. He had fallen head over heels in love with that girl and he had defended her without a second thought. His teenager self had thought that was what love was really about.

It had been Nikki to make him realise that that was just the surface. Love was much more than that. It was the little moments, the way her breath evened out just as she dipped into a deep sleep. It was the way her eyes would light up as she laughed. The way his blood would rush around his body just from the brush of her hand.

It was the way his legs would feel like jelly whenever he was around her. It was the way she'd call him first, no matter the situation; whether she was scared, upset or just needed someone to talk to. It was always him, her first port of call. She made him feel like the most important person on Earth, like he was the only person to exist in her world. That was love.

A love that made you feel lost but not without comfort. They could be in the middle of nowhere yet he would always feel at home with her next to him. She was the other half to his whole, she made him feel complete. She was the something missing he had been searching for his whole life, whether that search was intentional or not. She made him realise that he had something missing in the first place.

He hadn't even realised they'd stopped until Sam was tapping him on the arm, "If you could stop daydreaming about Nikki for just one minute we've got a job to do," Sam quipped, gaining a snort from Evan in the back seat before unbuckling her belt and leaving the car.

Jack could feel his cheeks burning red and Evan was now patting him on the shoulder, "That's a serious case of love my friend," he winked before exiting the car himself. Jack was sat on his own for a few seconds, just shaking his head at himself. The boy had a point, love had completely taken over him and he wouldn't change a thing, not for a second.

He left the car, following behind Sam and Evan as the three of them approached the house; a single line of tape in front of the door. Inside, they were met by a DI Saunders and a DS Freeman both of whom were talking to a man they had guessed to be the woman's son given the distraught look on his face. The DI guided them up the stairs and into the room containing the body of _Margaret Peters._

"Her son found her a couple of hours ago," she explained. "Suicide by the looks of it. She had terminal cancer as well," her eyes flicked between the three people. "Only given a few months left to live so you can guess what her mental and physical state was like. I'll leave you to it then."

Evan's eyebrows furrowed as he watched the woman leave, "Odd to have a DI on a suicide," he pointed out.

Jack shrugged his shoulders in response, "Maybe she had friends in high places, _or,_ they've found something that has led them to believe this was anything but a suicide."

"If that was the case she would've said something so I'll go for the former," Evan breathed, turning from Jack to look around the room. Nothing had seemed to be out of place. He had worked on a few suicide cases in the time that he had been there and he was starting to notice certain hallmarks; a few different from the ones he had been taught about. If anything looked too clean and tidy the alarms bells would start but as he surveyed the room, he could see that it was far from tidy but there was a sense of order to the place and nothing seemed to have been moved. Nothing that jumped out to him as of yet.

Sam stepped towards the body that lay in the bed. The woman's eyes open and staring back at her, she was mindful to close them; feeling the shiver running down her spine. There was froth around her mouth and from that alone she deduced that it had been an overdose of some kind, more than likely to be morphine given her current situation. Her eyes narrowed as she looked on the dresser that sat next to the woman's bed, there was something missing.

Her head snapped to face Jack but he was already nodding, he'd noticed it too. Leaving Evan upstairs with Sam, Jack headed downstairs; gaining looks from both detectives but neither questioned him, allowing him to get on with his job. Although he could feel eyes burning into the back of his skull as he made his way to the kitchen. He didn't need to turn to see who it had been, he had already known by what he could see on the counters.

By the sink, a single glass. He edged further into the room, picking it up and inspecting it. It was difficult but he could just make out some residue sitting at the bottom of the cup. He was about to place the piece of evidence in a bag when he spotted a pestle and mortar on the shelf. It had looked as though it had been recently cleaned but if that had been involved there was still a chance he could pick up something from it.

The next thing that came to his mind; where were the drugs that they may have used? His eyes surveyed the room, in case they too had been left out. But there was nothing jumping out to him. The next thing he tried was the bin, "Bingo," he muttered to himself as the packet sat at the very top, almost staring him in the face.

He set about cataloguing his evidence, his mind buzzing with theories. Although given the circumstances, he knew that he wouldn't have far to look. It wasn't the first time he had worked on something like this and he couldn't say he ever enjoyed it. It was always hard to decide who was in the wrong. If his mother had been in pain and the only way to ease it was to let her go then was it really that bad? Jack shook his head, not wanting to think about it too much otherwise it would give him a headache.

Sam wrapped up on her initial examination, taking necessary pictures of the body. Sam was one hundred percent certain that this had been a drug overdose, the only thing stirring her opinion was the lack of debris around the body. In particular, the fact that there were no signs of the medication she could've used, was enough for her to think twice. She looked over at the door, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs.

Her lips twitched as she spotted Jack carrying three evidence bags, one containing a glass cup, the other what looked to be like a pestle and mortar and the third a blister pack from a box of medication. She nodded slowly, this wasn't going to be a pleasant case. She was sure that everyone could understand her when she said that assisted suicide cases were one of the worst. She had never known which side of the fence she should sit on. She could understand both arguments but that didn't make it any easier.

In the end, she had nearly always found herself siding with the families. She had watched her mother suffer in pain and she could sympathise with people who thought they were doing right by the ones they love; allowing their suffering to come to an end and allowing them to pass in a way that made them feel dignified.

She packed up all her equipment in her case once again before making her goodbyes and heading back to the Lyell.

* * *

It hadn't taken her very long at all, she knew it wouldn't. She tried her best to sleep but she only got away with the best part of half an hour before her brain was buzzing again. There was only one other place that her diary could be and she couldn't exactly go there just to pick it up, they'd ask too many questions. So, she got herself dressed and ready for work. Thankfully the nausea had seemed to pass but she took a paracetamol just to take the edge off.

She had known that the three of them had been called out to a crime scene, thanks to a message from Jack, so at least she could somewhat prepare for the argument she was going to get from Jack. She watched as the numbers changed on the lift before eventually reaching the right floor. She waited for the ping as the doors slid open and she stepped out into the foyer, jumping as the woman sat on one of the chairs outside had caught her eye.

Her eyebrows pulled together as she inspected the woman, she had never seen her before but there was something oddly familiar about her; her eyes enticing her from across the room.

"Hello, can I help you?" She spoke, breaking the silence.

The woman stood, walking over to Nikki and holding her hand out to shake it, "My name's Marie, I'm here to see Sam Ryan," the woman answered, the Northern Irish accent think.

Nikki shook her hand, her lips twitching, "Nikki Alexander," she introduced herself. "I think she might be at a crime scene at the moment, do you want me to take a message or anything?"

"Oh," Marie relaxed her shoulders, feeling somewhat deflated. "I'm an old friend, I just wanted to surprise her that's all. I haven't seen her since she came back down here and I wanted to check in and see how she was doing."

Nikki glanced down at her watch, checking the time. It had been a while since she had received that text message from Jack so she couldn't imagine that they would be much longer. Although it did depend on how serious the scene was. She shrugged her shoulders, it couldn't do much harm plus there weren't many things for her to be getting on with so it would be nice to talk to someone new, "Do you want to come in for a coffee or something? They'll probably be back soon anyway," she smiled politely, heading for the door and swiping her card through the small machine.

"If it's not too much bother," Marie beamed back, following behind Nikki.

"Of course not," she made her way to the kitchen area, placing her bag down on the counter and switching the kettle on, making sure to check that there was water in it this time. She couldn't help but chuckle as she heard Jack's sarcastic tone playing in her head. "Sorry, was it a coffee or a tea?"

"Tea please," Marie nodded, making herself comfortable in one of the chairs next to the counter. Her hands resting in her lap as her eyes glanced around the room. It was very posh, all the equipment looking very _technical_ and expensive, not what she was used to back at home. Everything was pretty much makeshift at her lab and they had to do the best with what little money they had.

Her sight soon settled on the blonde woman who had now turned very pale and was holding her hand against her mouth as she stirred the mug of tea. Marie moved quickly, placing her palm against the small of her back, her other hand holding on to her elbow as she guided Nikki to the chair and sitting her down.

Nikki swallowed, taking deep breaths. She didn't know what had come over her. She had thought the sickness had worn off but evidently not. She couldn't help but think it strange that it had been the smell of tea that set her off. She watched as the older woman finished making the drinks before setting Nikki's coffee down in front of her. Although, she didn't trust her stomach enough to drink it just yet.

Marie didn't speak until she returned to her chair, her eyes searching Nikki's, "So, how far along are you?"

Nikki's eyes widened, her hand coming to rest on her stomach subconsciously. She had not been expecting that at all, least from someone she had just met. She couldn't help but feel perturbed by the woman's forwardness.

Marie was quick to notice the shock on Nikki's face and she held her hands up in defence, ready to do some backtracking, "Oh sorry I didn't mean to-" she started despite not really knowing where she was going with it. She took a deep breath, she had always been one to jump to the wrong conclusions and she could slap herself for doing it again. "Sorry. You just reminded me of myself that's all. When I was pregnant with both of my boys, I couldn't stand the smell of tea either. Especially the eldest, all my husband had to do was open the jar and I'd be leaning over the sink," she chuckled, trying to lighten the mood somewhat.

Nikki didn't know what to think, she hadn't been wrong in her assumption - albeit abrupt - but it did make her wonder how it had been so obvious to a stranger yet not to her or even Jack.

"I don't know if I am yet," Nikki said eventually. She didn't know what had come over her, she had only just met the woman yet she felt as though she had known her her whole life. Her expression warm and welcoming, almost motherly. "It's just that, the person I'm with, Jack, he-"

She let out a sigh, she had so many thoughts running around her head. She loved Jack and she knew that he wanted to be a father and he would be a brilliant one at that but, they had only been together for just over a month. It wasn't exactly the right time to be starting a family together, even if they had been in love with each other for quite some time now.

"I think he wants to be a dad, that was the impression I got from a conversation not so long back anyway," she continued, her finger tracing the rim of the mug that still sat in front of her. "We've not been together long though. And I don't want something like this to ruin everything before it's even got the chance to get started."

Marie reached over the counter, taking hold of Nikki's hand, "Talk to him you might be surprised. I think I nearly gave my husband a heart attack when I told him I was pregnant with our eldest but he doted on him so much. He had him wrapped around his little finger," she grinned, the memories flashing across her mind. "It won't matter how long the two of you have been together, it's clearly meant to be if this little surprise has come along so soon."

Nikki opened her mouth to reply but she was interrupted by Sam walking into the room, "Marie Kelvin," she exclaimed, the joy spreading across her face as she opened her arms wide, pulling the other woman into a hug; squeezing her tightly. "What on Earth are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise my friend," Marie answered back, holding onto Sam with even more force before pulling away so she could look at her friend properly. "Plus I wanted to see how the other half live and I have to say, well done Sammy. This place is just… _wow_. Well done."

Being caught up in the moment Sam hadn't taken the time to notice that Nikki had been sat there until she spoke, "Sorry did you say Kelvin?" Nikki's eyebrows furrowed together.

She had only heard that name once in the past couple of years and that had been Jack's brother Ryan. She couldn't help but wonder, with everything the woman had revealed in such a short space of time. She was from Northern Ireland, she had two sons and it couldn't be just a coincidence that she had the same pregnancy symptoms when she was pregnant with her 'two boys' as Nikki had been having as of late. Then there was the dark hair and the bright green eyes.

Nikki's lips parted, _that was why she had looked so familiar._ But then Jack had never really mentioned his mother before, she had always assumed that she was dead. But if her suspicions were correct - and they usually were - then she had just inadvertently told Jack's mother that she might be pregnant with _her_ grandchild.

"Yes, why?" Marie replied, an incredulous look on her face.

Nikki didn't know what to say or what she could say so she just shrugged her shoulders, "No reason," she brushed off. She did know that was going to have to speak to Jack though and urgently. She looked over her shoulder, he wasn't anywhere to be seen and, truthfully, if he was, there would be world war three happening before her very eyes. She turned to Sam now, "Where's Jack?"

"Oh he's still sorting a few things out at the crime scene," Sam explained before crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at Nikki now. "And when he gets back he's going to march you back home you do realise that? You shouldn't be here if you're ill Nikki, you know that."

Nikki rolled her eyes, "I'm fine, honestly. It was just Jack overreacting, you know what he's like," she avoided Marie's eye, even more so now that she had an inkling as to who this woman may be.

There was an awkward silence settling between the three women now. But Sam was quick to push the conversation on, guiding Marie and herself into her office, leaving Nikki behind with her own thoughts. She let out a breath, picking herself up onto her feet and making her way to her desk. The diary that she had been searching for all morning sitting in plain view. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. At this point she didn't need to check her diary, she already had her answer. She just needed a test to confirm it but there was no way she was going to do a test without Jack's knowledge of the situation.

This involved him as much as it did her and she could distinctly remember the conversation they had back in Brighton a few years ago; the last time she had suspected that she had been pregnant. She recalled him talking about a previous girlfriend of his possibly being pregnant with his child, had told him over the phone. Nikki knew that Jack deserved more than that. It may not be the ideal situation but they were in this together now.

She couldn't get what Marie had said out of her head though, if _this_ has come about so soon then surely it's a sign that they were meant to be. She shook her head at herself again, feeling idiotic for allowing her mind to think so whimsically.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard his voice, relaying something off to Evan as they both walked into the room. Jack's eyes widening as he spotted Nikki sitting in her chair.

There was a warning look in his face, "What are you doing here? I told you to stay at home."

She had expected it but as she stared back at him it was the least of her concerns right now, she stood, taking hold of his hand, "Jack we need to talk," she raised an eyebrow at him, trying her best to convey that this was something serious and something that needed to be discussed urgently.

But Jack seemed to have missed on that hint as he was raising his hand to press against her forehead, he sighed; she was still too warm for his liking, "Yes, talk about you going home," he persisted, moving to pick her coat up from the back of her chair.

Nikki followed after him, taking her coat from his grasp and throwing it down on to her desk, "I've told you I'm fine," a sternness to her tone. She was momentarily distracted by a chuckle coming from the direction of Sam's office, then it dawned on her that there were possibly two matters they needed to discuss but that boiled down to Nikki's suspicions being correct.

Nikki's gaze had caught Jack's attention and he too was curious, especially given the now panicked look on her face. He squinted his eyes at the woman who sat in Sam's office, he could only see the back of her head and he had made to return his stare to Nikki but the woman had turned; looking briefly in his direction.

He felt his heart drop to the floor and it had felt as though someone had winded him. His throat bone dry as he stood there, glaring at the woman. _It couldn't possibly be._ He hadn't seen that face since he was twenty-one, merely an adult in his last few months of university. She had left, without a single word; no explanation. And now all of a sudden, after all these years, she was sat in the office of the place he worked.

A hand on his arm pulled him back down to Earth as he snapped to Nikki, "Who is that sat in Sam's office?" He had to know, he could've gotten it wrong. He had met so many people over the years that had looked like his mother but there was something about this one that for once he felt as though he may be right.

Nikki gulped, knowing she hadn't been wrong in her thoughts, "Marie Kelvin," slipped from her mouth and Jack left her side in an instant. Evan's head flicked up, wondering why Nikki was suddenly running after Jack and why Jack had looked so angry.

Jack flung the door open, "Jack," Sam spat, standing up. She didn't like the look on his face one bit and her eyebrows screwed together as she glared at him. "I'm in the middle of a conversation-"

But she was cut off by her friend, who hadn't moved at the intrusion. Marie had seen him, she had caught his eye and she had known instantly who he was. It may have been too long since she had last seen her eldest son but she could still spot him in the crowd, he was the spitting image of his father after all. She turned her head slowly, scared to see the rage in his face, scared of his reaction. But the tears slipped down her cheeks as their eyes connected.

"Jack?" She breathed, doing her best to swallow the lump in her throat. "My son? Is that you?"

"Mum," Jack let out, all the air escaping his lungs as he took her in. She hadn't changed all that much except for the fact that she was just _older._ She had more wrinkles and her hair was greyer but she still had those bright green eyes and that infectious smile.

He wished to be a little boy again, to run into her arms and hold her tightly as if nothing ever happened. He wished to have the innocence of not truly understanding the world around him. But he had known far too much, he had lived with far too much. He had remembered the nights his father would sit up and cry the night away as he tried his best to support his two sons. Those last few months of University had been hell and he was surprised that he had even made his way through them. He had been back and forth from London and Belfast, trying to be there for his dad as much as he could be.

All whilst his mother was out there living her life without a care in the world. Jack had rushed himself into getting a job, the best job he could get with his degree. He had moved himself, dad and brother down to Yorkshire so he could provide for them, give them a home and a chance. He couldn't help the anger that surged through his veins now. He had done everything he could for his family and now she turns up out of the blue as though nothing had ever happened, and how did she even know that he was working here?

"What are you doing here?" He asked through gritted teeth. He felt Nikki's presence by his side, a warm hand on his back providing a small sense of comfort. A gesture that surprisingly calmed him.

"I came here to see Sam," she spoke honestly. She wasn't going to lie and pretend that she had come all this way to see him. As far as she was aware, he was still in Yorkshire. "Son I didn't know that you were here, I mean that. If I did I-"

"You what?" He scoffed, raising an eyebrow, not liking where this was seemingly going. "You'd not come here?"

"No Jack that's not-" She paused, knowing that she was just going to dig herself a bigger hole if she continued. There was no right way of explaining herself and if he had turned out to be anything like his dad then there would be no getting through to him, especially when he was like this. "Sam's an old friend, I came to see her. If had known that you were here as well, I would've been sure to give the heads up."

"And that would make it easier?" He closed his eyes, no longer wanting to look at her. "I can't do this," he turned, wanting to get out of the room and get some fresh air or something, anything that would get him away from her.

Nikki took one more look at Jack's mother before she was calling after him. The last thing he needed right now was to be alone so she followed him, down the hall. She had known where he was heading but to her surprise he stopped in his tracks. The tears falling as he turned to face her. She didn't hesitate to close the gap and wrap her arms around him; holding him as tightly as he was holding her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his ear.

Jack pulled back, his eyebrows furrowing, "What have you got to be sorry about?" He pondered.

Nikki shrugged her shoulders, her hand running up and down his arm, "I just know how that feels. My dad had a terrible habit of popping up at the most inconvenient times," she let out a sigh. "He left us as well. A few months before my mother died, left us with nothing. I was so angry with him for so long but it got better."

Her eyes searched his, hoping that he was listening to her and getting her point, "What I'm trying to say is. Be angry, be upset, let it all out. But speak to her Jack, give her the chance to explain herself, you might understand more now," she continued, her palm cupping his cheek. "I never forgave my father, not properly anyway. And that's still something I regret. I hated him, I wished that he had been someone else's father. He abused my mother and he used me. But in the end, he was still my father and deep down I suppose I did love him. But he never knew that, he died never knowing that I forgave him. Don't do that to her. Give her a chance."

Jack captured Nikki's lips with his own, he had nothing else to add. Nothing else needed to be said. He had known that she was right and she had a terrible annoyance of always rationalising everything. He couldn't argue against her and she hadn't exactly given him much of a chance.

His lips left hers, but his forehead remained pressed against hers. It had only been a little over a month but he was still pinching himself as he wondered what he had done to get so lucky and have such a wonderful woman in his life.

"Talk to her," she spoke softly. Jack nodded in response, pulling her into a hug once again.

Both were taken by surprise by someone clearing their throat at the bottom of the hallway. Jack opened his eyes to see his mother standing there, watching the pair of them. He loosened his grip on Nikki, allowing her to leave. He had wanted her to stay, he needed her to calm him. But he also knew that this was something he needed to deal with on his own and Nikki knew that he needed the space to do that.

She squeezed his hand once more before making her way back inside and joining Evan and Sam.

"She seems nice," his mother spoke, slowly edging closer to him. "Is she a forensic scientist as well?"

Jack shook his head, "Pathologist."

"Oh," Marie nodded. "I don't even know where to start."

Jack bit down on his lip, "There's plenty of places where you can start. Not sure I want to hear them though," he said. "I suppose why is the most important one. Why did you leave?"

"I'm not sure that this is the right place for this conversation," she replied, now an arms reach from her son. "There's so much to be said, so much that you need to hear. But I want to explain myself properly and I want to give you the chance to understand."

"I can ask Sam for a few hours this afternoon," Jack answered.

"Okay," she agreed. She didn't want to push it, she didn't want to scare him away. Everything had to be on his terms so if he was allowing her a few hours then that was what she was going to take. She wanted to reach out, she wanted to touch him, to hold her son. But she didn't want to cross that boundary so she turned and headed for the exit.

"Mum, wait," Jack called out, rushing over to her. His heart racing as he wrapped his arms around her. The tears flowing freely once again as he felt his mother sobbing into him. She was much shorter than him, he would go as far to say that she was shorter than Nikki. But he held her tightly, momentarily forgetting about all the heartache she had caused him over the past twenty years.

Marie held onto her son for as long as she could manage. All the regret seeping out of her, seeing him now bringing back all the mistakes and memories. She wished she could go back and shake her younger self for walking out on them. She had missed out on so much. And now there was a chance that her son was starting a family of his own and if she hadn't made the decision to find Sam, she may have never known about that.

She had never been one to believe in destiny or fate but perhaps just this once, she could allow herself to believe in such a thing.

* * *

The morning had passed by quite quickly, Jack had been quiet for most of it, just keeping himself to himself which had irritated Nikki to no end but she could understand why. She had been trying to catch him on his own, to talk to him about the fact that they could potentially be parents. But she couldn't seem to find the right opportunity and supposed that right in this present moment, with everything going on, he probably wouldn't even register what she was telling him. And the last thing she wanted to do was drop another bombshell on top of it. So she decided to leave it, at least until after he had cleared the air with his mother.

When they were at home there would be no chance of her not saying anything, and she had planned to sneak off at some point so she could buy a test. She needed to put her mind at rest regardless of what was going on around them.

Since she had been feeling better, she decided to join Sam for the post mortem. The older woman had filled her in on the details and of her suspicions. Possible assisted suicide cases were never easy. But thankfully she was only helping out and not having to get directly involved.

She followed behind Sam, there was a conversation that needed to be had between the two women, both could sense that. But both were wondering if now was really the right time to be doing it. Nikki glanced into the observation room, it was empty. She couldn't say that she was surprised, the detectives probably thought that this would be an open and shut case but from what she had gathered from Sam already, that may be the complete opposite.

Knowing that they were not having to play to the gallery, Nikki felt a bit more comfortable bringing up the more pressing topic, "How do you know Jack's mother?" She asked bluntly.

Sam looked up at her, "I didn't know she was Jack's mother if that's what you're implying," she warned.

Nikki shook her head, "No of course not, I didn't mean it like that. I just can't believe the coincidence of it all," she started, watching as Sam made some notes down on the piece of paper. "One of your closest friends happens to be the mother of one of your colleagues yet neither of you have any clue. Did she not ever talk about Jack or Ryan? Or show you a picture even?"

Sam shrugged, "She talked about them a lot. Always said how she regretted walking out on them and would do anything to see them again," she explained. "But she also thought that it would be too late to track them down, she thought they wouldn't want to see her or have anything to do with her. I've tried many times over the years to convince her but she thought it would be best to keep her distance."

She paused, concentrating as she made her first incision.

"As for pictures," she carried on. "She may have shown me one a few years ago but I never joined the dots until today. You have to believe her though Nikki, she didn't know that Jack was working here. If I had made that connection sooner I would've said something."

Nikki listened intently. She had believed the woman to an extent. But she was struggling to comprehend how someone could just walk out on their own child without so much as an explanation. Even worse that she made no effort to find either son and just continued with her life as if nothing happened.

"How could she do that though?" She wondered. It wasn't much of question, she wasn't expecting an answer. She didn't suppose that there was much of one to give. "They're your children, you can't just walk out on them. But then, that's what my father had done to me I suppose."

Sam stopped in her tracks, being reminded of her own situation with her son. She had walked out on him, given him up. Too ashamed to raise him as she should've. But she never spoke about him, pretended as if he never existed. It was easier that way, for her at least.

"There's no knowing what lengths some people will go to, to hide away from their demons," sighing, she turned her concentration back to the body lying in front of her.

"I could never do that to my child," said Nikki, her hand coming to rest on her lower stomach without thinking, for the second time that day.

Sam had glanced up slightly, quick to notice the gesture. She didn't pay too much attention to it however, preferring to give Nikki the opportunity to say something if she wanted to. They stayed silent for the rest of the PM, neither having much more to say on the topic and rather wanting to concentrate on the task at hand.

* * *

Jack's leg was shaking as he sat at the table in the cafe. His mother had been at the counter, buying the two of them drinks. The afternoon had approached too quickly for his liking and he wasn't sure of how he was going to be able to get through the next couple of hours. He had so much to learn from his mother and he couldn't be sure that he actually wanted to hear any of it.

He hadn't gotten round to telling his dad about the situation yet, _one issue at a time_ he had thought to himself. He knew that his father would be angry the moment Jack told him that his mother had turned up out of the blue. But he knew that he would have to tell him eventually, he had a right to know after all. However, he was going to wait until after this conversation with his mother. He wanted to give her the chance to open up and be honest about everything first.

He took a deep breath as she wandered over to him, two drinks in her hand. She stayed silent as she set them down on the table and made herself comfortable in her chair. She was staring at Jack, couldn't bear to tear her eyes away from her son.

"You've changed so much," she eventually spoke. "I can't believe I've missed out on so much. I have never regretted anything more in my life than leaving you and Ryan. You're a man now, you have a job, an apartment. A partner. I've missed out on all of that."

"You have no one to blame but yourself," Jack scoffed. He was determined to not lose his temper, he hadn't come here to do that. He wanted to clear the air, to understand why she did what she did. But he couldn't help it, it had built up over the years. More so in the moments where he wanted to have his mother around to guide him in the right direction, to hold him in that way mothers do.

"I know and I do every day," she bowed her head, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. "There are no words and I'm not saying sorry because no matter how many times I say it, it won't change what's happened. I just hope that one day you can forgive me and you may even understand it."

"So why?" Jack let out, no longer wanting to dance around the point. Just wanting to hear what she had to say for herself. "Why did you walk out on us? With no explanation, nothing. You just left."

"I've been asking myself the same question for twenty years son. And to this day I still don't fully know. But I suppose I can try," she started, taking a sip of her drink to lather her throat, knowing that this was going to be a long couple of hours. "Your dad was never the same after your Aunt Rosie. I knew they were close and I knew that it had completely destroyed him. I let him grieve, I let him do what he had to do because I knew that he needed to deal with it in his own way."

She ran her hands through her hair, all the emotions she had felt over twenty years ago resurfacing, "I thought it would get better over time. I thought he would learn to live with it. I didn't expect him to forget and move on but at the very least, I expected him to deal with it. But he never did," she continued. "In the first couple of years I understood it more but as time passed I couldn't cope with it Jack. He'd snap at me over the littlest of things. He never laid a hand on me, I would've never have stood for it and he knew that. But there was always a look in his eye, much like the look in _your_ eye now and I knew that there was nothing I could do to fix what had happened."

"You know your dad Jack. You know what he's like, too laidback for his own good. After what happened he got worse, I couldn't get him to do anything," she was picking at the skin around her fingernails now. "Everything was left down to me, I had two boys to raise, a job to hold down and all this shit. I couldn't take it anymore. And one day, I met someone. Someone who made me forget about all that. Made me feel young again. Showed me what I deserved. He provided an escape for a while."

Jack could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as she spoke. He didn't know what to say, what he could say without losing his temper. He understood it to an extent, his father had never been much of an open book; always one to bottle everything up. And he had noticed that after his Aunt Rosie as well.

When he thought about it, he supposed, that he had actually picked up on that tension as a child but he had chosen to ignore it. More concerned when his next football practice was going to be. He could've kicked himself for not taking the time to help his mother back then, maybe if he had she never would've left them.

"It started off as a friendship. Someone I could talk to and get things off my chest," she sighed, her eyes searching her sons, hoping that he was listening to her and trying to understand her reasonings. He seemed to be doing that so she carried on. "But as the years passed, we got closer and closer and eventually it turned into a relationship. I fell in love and I wanted to be with him. But I had to come clean to your da'. So I did. I sat down one night and I told him everything. And as I had expected, he told me to make a decision. I either be with James or I stay with him."

Jack's eyes widened at the revelation, "So you chose this man over your own children?" He spat, feeling his heart racing now.

Marie was quick to reach out and take hold of her son's hand, "No. I couldn't. I stayed for as long as I could. You were in university and Ryan was still in school and I agreed that I would stay until Ryan was eighteen. I put an end to the affair because you two were more important to me," she closed her eyes, trying to gather herself; the tears slipping down her cheeks. "But after a few months I caved. I loved James, I still do. We're still together. Your dad found out that I was still seeing him and that time he didn't give me a choice. He told me to leave and never look back. Told me that if I stayed then he would turn the two of you against me, and I would rather have you think I didn't exist than have you hate me. But I suppose, either way, it didn't make a difference. Because you still would've hated me and I don't blame you."

Jack squeezed his mother's hand back, "I don't hate you," his voice croaked, the lump forming in his throat. "You could've just spoken to me. I would've been angry, of course I would've. But I wasn't a boy ma', I was twenty-one I would've understood."

"I think that's what scared me more," her lips twitched as she swiped the back of her hand across her face to remove the tears. "You were old before your time, you always were. And in a way I didn't want you to understand. Because I think it would've made it harder to leave and I had to respect your dads wishes, I'd broken his heart enough."

"Why did you never tried to find me, or Ryan? You never sent a card, nothing," he had so many questions he had wanted to ask her.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I thought it was for the best. I thought that if I kept my distance you'd forget about me quicker."

"Well I didn't," Jack admitted, his own tears wetting his cheeks now. "There's been so many times where I've just wanted my ma'. When I graduated, I wanted you there. I nearly lost my life last year and all I could think about was you. That I could die and you would have no idea. And I would never have got a chance to see you again, to say goodbye."

Marie couldn't believe what she was hearing, she couldn't stop herself from cupping her son's cheek as he sobbed. Jack leaned into her touch, he had longed for nothing more over the years.

"Oh son," she wept, sort of half hugging him from across the table. The pair of them cried together for a little while longer. Jack asked more questions and Marie provided more answers. The time had seemed to fly past and Jack had quickly forgotten that he was meant to be back in work an hour ago. He supposed that, under the circumstances, Sam wouldn't have minded; she probably hadn't even noticed.

He couldn't help his mind wander to Nikki however and as if she knew he had been thinking about her, her name popped up on his phone. He swiped across, answering it and placing the phone next to his ear, "Yes everything is fine," he replied. "I won't be long, I love you." He hung up, wanting to keep the conversation short, he knew she'd understand.

"Nikki?" Marie spoke to which Jack simply nodded. "She's very pretty and _very_ lovely. You've done well there son."

Jack had smiled to himself as he caught sight of the photo of the two of them on his lock screen, "Yeah, I suppose I have," he agreed. "I think the two of you will get along just fine actually, she's not that different from you."

"How long have the two of you been together?" She queried, remembering the conversation she had shared with the woman earlier. She had gathered that Jack didn't know anything about the situation just yet so she wasn't going to stick her foot in it but that didn't mean she couldn't do some digging. She remembered Nikki mentioning that they hadn't been together long so Marie was curious as to what she had meant by that.

"A little over a month now I think," Jack couldn't help but chuckle at the look on his mother's face. "But it's been a long time coming. I've known her for nearly nine years, I've been in love with her for nine years. We've been through so much together and we've lost a lot but we've always been together in the end and it just sort of happened."

"Do you love her?"

He nodded, "With every bit of me."

Her hand was on top of Jack's again, "Then that's all that matters." She was quite taken back upon learning how little time they had actually been together and how now there was possibly going to be a baby mixed up in the middle of it all. But hearing how his son gushed about the woman she had no reason to worry.

She did think it worth getting his opinion on having children, however. Just to put her mind at rest a little bit, "Have you got any children?"

Jack shook his head, "No."

"Do you want children?" She pushed.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I suppose. Nikki and I haven't really spoken about it, it's only been a month, we're not exactly going to have that conversation just yet," his lips twitched fondly. "I think she wants kids eventually though."

"Well, I think you'll make a wonderful father one day," she beamed. But her mind had now turned to other son, Jack hadn't quite provided an explanation as to his whereabouts yet. And she was sure that Jack would've let his own brother know of her being here. "Speaking of which, where is that daft brother of yours?"

Jack's heart sank, he had been expecting that question. And he was sort of hoping that she wouldn't bring it up because, well, how was he going to explain that her other son had spent the past couple of years sitting in a prison cell? "Uh," he stuttered as he took a sip of his drink, trying to prepare himself. "Ryan's in prison ma'." He spat out as quickly as possible, wanting to get it over and done with.

Marie's mouth hung open, completely taken back, "What?" Fell from her mouth; Ryan hadn't been the easiest of kids and she was forever being marched into the headmasters office when he was younger - that's not to say Jack was a saint but compared to his brother, he was an angel. "Why? How?"

"It's a bit complicated so please don't over-react," Jack began, holding his hands up in the air. "It was a case a few years ago. It wasn't that serious, he just made a few stupid decisions and landed himself in hot water. But there was nothing I could do to protect him. I tried but I couldn't. He's only got a couple months left on his sentence now though so he should be out by the end of the year."

Marie scoffed, not believing what she was hearing, "Well, at least one of my sons followed in my footsteps and decided to work with the law rather than against it."

* * *

Sam, Nikki and Evan were all sat in the observation room, waiting for the detectives to eventually join them. Nikki had just got off the phone from Jack. She couldn't help but feel anxious, she had known what he was like and there were so many ways that conversation could go with his mother. And the last thing she wanted was for him to end up in one of those cages getting the life beaten out of him whilst she was sat there possibly carrying his child. He seemed fine on the phone though so that provided a sense of relief.

She jumped as heard the click of heels against the floor and the detectives were joining them in the room, both looking as though they'd rather be elsewhere. Nikki raised an eyebrow as her eyes caught with Evans, the pair thinking the same thing.

"Shall we just get this over with?" DI Saunders sighed, folding her arms and looking in Sam's general direction.

"Of course," Sam nodded, pulling up her notes and the file she had compiled of the woman. "I can confirm that she had terminal cancer, she would've been in a lot of pain and from hospital records we can gather that she was prescribed with morphine. Tests have since proved that she did die of a morphine overdose. Traces of which were found in her stomach contents so it is likely that she ingested it. Jack also found a blister packet at the scene, from which we can see definitely contained morphine."

"We spoke with her GP, she was offered end of life care," DI Saunders spoke. "The family along with Margaret herself, however, decided against it. Rather wanting her to live what little life she had left surrounded by her family."

"You think that was a decision they made so she could take her own life?" Evan asked.

DI Saunders nodded, "It seems to be that way," her eyes flicked between Sam and Evan as the two people shared a look. "When we spoke to the son, Andrew, he was very agitated but he didn't seem all that surprised by the whole ordeal."

"There was something at the scene that raised a question," Sam stood up and made her way to the board pulling up photos she had taken at the scene. "I quickly noticed that despite having taken her life, there were no means as to how she had done that. Jack found a glass next to the sink downstairs. Now it's possible she consumed the drink before making her way upstairs but, as you say, she was in an incredible amount of pain so it seems unlikely she would go to that effort. Let alone making it back upstairs in time before the morphine would've kicked in."

Her fingers clicked on one of the pictures, tapping to zoom in, "As you can see in this photo there's evidence that a glass had been sitting on her bedside cabinet, so who moved it?"

"The son," DS Freeman nodded slowly.

"Now we should be getting the test results back on that cup but it wouldn't surprise me if we did find traces of morphine inside it," Sam joined them at the table once again. "Jack also found a pestle and mortar, he seemed to believe that the morphine may have been crushed into a powder form before being placed in the drink. Which would also explain the blister packet."

"When we spoke to the son, he said that he had been at a meeting out of town," DI Saunders relayed. "It had been important and he couldn't get out of it so he didn't visit his mother that night, instead choosing to check in on her in the morning," she flicked through the notes she had recorded. "He said that the meeting had taken place at six in the evening, we confirmed that with his place of work."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed, "I was able to place her death as being between six and nine in the evening. How far away was this meeting?"

"Half an hour," DI Saunders shrugged.

"So would there be enough time to help his mother die and get back in time for a meeting?" Sam questioned further.

They had ended up getting the CCTV footage from around the area hoping it may have provided an answer as to Andrew's whereabouts that evening and they had spotted his car headed in the direction of his mothers house at 5:26pm. So there was a chance that he could've visited her that evening and he may have been instrumental in her death. They were also mindful to check with the hotel in which the meeting had taken place, further finding out that he had actually been fifteen minutes late to the meeting.

The detectives returned back to the Lyell to relay this information to Sam, Nikki and Evan - Jack was still yet to come back. After they had informed them of this new development, Evan was getting an email through on his phone; the results of the tests had come back.

"There were definitely traces of morphine in the glass and also in the pestle and mortar," he began. "They also found DNA on the cup that is a close relation to Margaret Peters. I think we would be right in assuming that that DNA belongs to Andrew Peters."

"We need to take DNA from him to confirm that," DI Saunders nodded, standing up. "Do you want to come with us to do that please?" The question was directed at Evan, although it didn't feel like much of a question, more of a demand.

He looked over at Sam, almost asking her for permission to go. Jack had usually been around to go along with him but he still hadn't returned and he wasn't sure if he would be allowed to attend something like this on his own.

Sam thought over it for a moment, Evan was perfectly capable of going on his own and she had every faith in him that he would be fine. But there was that small part of her telling her that somebody should be with him, even if it was just for the reassurance.

But for once she ignored that voice in her head, it was his last week with them and this responsibility might just be the boost he needed to prove to himself that he was more than capable of doing this job, "Go on then," she spoke. Her face mirroring his as the grin spread and his eyes lit up. He had all but rushed to grab his case and followed after the detectives.

It wasn't long before they had arrived at Andrew's house and Evan couldn't help but notice the nervous look on his face. He was much more than agitated.

"Mr Peters, we're going to need to take a DNA sample from you. Just a process of elimination," DI Saunders said calmly, giving away no hints that she was now suspecting him.

He just nodded slowly before stepping back to let them in. Evan could feel himself growing quite anxious now, he knew that there wasn't much he had to do; just take a swab of his mouth and that was it. But he usually had someone watching him and making sure that he was doing the correct thing. It was just the detectives now and he supposed that that was worse. He now had to make it look as though he knew exactly what he was doing - and he did, but he still felt scared.

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and set about taking a DNA sample from the man whilst the detectives asked him further questions.

"Can you just confirm to us again, where were you between the hours of half five and nine o'clock last night?" DS Freeman asked, placing his hands in his pocket.

"I had been at a works meeting at six which lasted until eight, I came home straight away," he explained. "It had been a long day and I just wanted to get some sleep so I went to bed early. I didn't wake up until the next morning and that's when I visited my mother and found her."

"How long did it take you to get to your meeting?" DI Saunders pushed.

Andrew shrugged his shoulders, "About half an hour."

"So you left at what time?"

"I wanted to be there early so must've been around twenty past five," he answered. Evan could see that he was trying his best to remain calm and give nothing away but he wasn't doing the best job of it - even more obvious when they all knew that he was lying; given what they had just found out.

DI Saunders wrote down everything Andrew had told her before looking at Evan who gave her a small nod to signify that he had gathered everything he needed, "That will be all, thank you. We might be in touch again." She stood, leading the way as all three left the house.

It was dark outside now, "I'll start processing the DNA tomorrow and we should get a match by the afternoon," Evan spoke with confidence now, feeling a bit more of a spring in his step.

* * *

Back at the Lyell, Nikki was still waiting around for Jack. She hadn't so much as spoken to him since she had last called him and now she was starting to get worried. She checked the time on her watch again and decided to call it a day. He had a key to her house so he could already be there. She was in the middle of packing her stuff away when she heard the door buzzing open, she moved quickly, breathing a sigh of relief as she watched him walk down the hallway.

She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him and holding him tightly, "Where have you been?" Her voice barely a whisper.

"We've just been talking, catching up with each other," he replied. "Look, I'll talk to you about it another time. I just want to be on my own tonight I think."

She pulled back from him, surprise written all over her face, "Are you sure?" That was the last thing she had wanted to hear. She was going to tell him tonight, she had planned to take a test and she had wanted him to be there with her, next to her. She wanted them to do it together.

Jack nodded his head, "Yeah," he breathed. "I just need to get my head around it all."

Nikki cupped his cheek, she understood. And the test could wait until another day, at least until this whole thing with his mother had calmed down, "Okay," she spoke softly. "Promise me one thing though, don't go there."

She didn't need to clarify where _there_ had meant, he already knew what she was talking about, "Nikki I promised you a month ago that I wouldn't go again and I'm going to keep my promise this time," he answered. "I'm not angry, I'm not upset. It's just all so baffling and I need some to think it all through."

She stayed quiet. Not having anything else to add she just captured his lips with hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Things seemed to have settled with his mother but how will Jack react when he finds out he could be a father?


	10. Acceptance - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seemed to have settled with his mother but how will Jack react when he finds out he could be a father?

Nikki let the front door click shut behind her, feeling herself relax at the silence now engulfing her. The stress of the day dissipating enough for her to feel somewhat at peace. She wished that Jack had been here with her though, the thought of him being away from her and getting up to no good did add to her worries but she tried not to overthink it too much. He had promised her that he wouldn't go to the gym tonight and she trusted his word; even if he had gone against it quite a lot in the past.

She stepped through the hallway and into the kitchen, placing her bags down on the table. Despite wanting Jack to have been there while she took the test, she still decided upon picking one up. She pulled it out of the bag after switching the kettle on. She was leaning on the counter as she inspected the small box, she was tempted to just get it over and done with. At least then she would have an answer. But she couldn't bring herself to do it, she wanted Jack to be involved from the very beginning; regardless of the result.

Sighing, she ran her hands through her hair as she dropped it back down on the surface and set about making herself a coffee. Her head snapped in the direction of the front of the house as she heard the door squeak. She panicked even though she knew there was only one person it could be. Moving quickly she grabbed hold of the box and hid it in the draw, just in time as Jack appeared in the doorway; a bunch of flowers in one hand and a box of chocolates along with a bottle of wine in the other.

Her lips twitched fondly as she took in the sight of him, that stupid grin he always had on his face.

"I didn't want to be on my own," he admitted finally. "And I didn't know what you wanted so I got all three." He stepped into the room now, handing the flowers over to her which she had accepted gratefully.

The scent of the roses wafted into the room, "They're beautiful, thank you," she moved, reaching up on her tip-toes for her lips to brush his. Pulling away, she placed the flowers down on the counter while she rummaged through her cupboards in search of a vase. "What made you change your mind then?" She asked.

Jack couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of her, half of her body actually inside the cupboard. He let out a snort as she reappeared, a vase in her hand as her hair was skewed all over the place. He reached over to flatten it down for her before answering, "It seems you have turned me into a _soppy git,_ as my father would say. And the moment I sat down in my apartment was the moment I realised I wanted nothing more than to curl up on the sofa with a glass of wine, watching some awful drama that you have insisted we watch."

He creeped up behind her, his arms snaking around her waist as she stood by the sink; arranging the flowers. Her breath hitched as his hands landed on her lower stomach and the smile spread across her face. She leaned back into his touch, his lips planting kisses in the crook of her neck.

"It's been such a strange day," he mumbled into her skin. "And I just wanted to be with the one person who has this incredible way of making me forget about everything."

There was a pang of disappointment in Nikki, she had been seconds away from telling him but he had come here for an escape. How much of an escape is it to find out that you could be a father? She let out a deep breath, knowing that she was going to have to wait another day to tell him, at least until when all of this with his mother was over.

She turned in his grasp, her arms wrapping around his neck and her lips capturing his. Her hands soon travelled to cup his cheek as the kiss deepened and he was now pushing her into the counter. She chuckled as his hands roamed her body and his lips peppered her jawline before moving down her neck.

Jack took hold of her hand, guiding her out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

* * *

"Now how about that glass of wine?" Jack whispered, his arm around her bare waist as his lips pressed into her shoulder again.

Nikki's eyes opened wide at the suggestion, how was she going to get out of that one? She very rarely turned down a glass of wine and after the stresses of today Jack was sure to ask questions. She could feel his hand on her stomach again and she couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine.

She eventually shook her head, deciding that it might be a good thing if he started questioning her, "Not fancying it."

Jack propped himself up on his elbow to look at her properly, his eyebrows pulling together, "You really must be ill if you've just turned down a glass of wine," he smirked. "Come on, I don't want to be drinking on my own," he leaned down, their lips colliding briefly.

"Honestly Jack I'm fine," she smiled innocently.

But he was pushing himself off the bed and pulling the covers from him, "Well I'm going to pour you a glass anyway and if you really don't want to drink it then I will."

Nikki watched him as he attempted to make himself somewhat decent before he was looming over her to steal another kiss, "You stay there, I will be back in a minute."

She ran her hands over her face letting out a sigh, this was going to be a lot harder than she though it was going to be. She didn't want to go dropping another bombshell on him, especially after the day he's had. But she knew that he was going to start suspecting something sooner or later, he was Jack after all and nothing ever got past him so easily.

It then dawned on her that the test was still in the draw in the kitchen, the same draw that happened to also contain the bottle opener. Panicking now, she quickly draped her dressing gown over her body and all but ran down the stairs; the last thing she wanted to do was fall down them now.

But it was too late, he had already found it. She slowly walked into the kitchen, his hands leaning on the counter as the box sat in front of him. She couldn't see his face which was making it even worse, she couldn't tell if this was something he was happy about or whether he was debating on running for the hills.

The silence was deafening and Nikki could almost feel her eyes welling up as he continued to say nothing. All the thoughts running through her head, not a single one of them positive. When they had had that conversation in Brighton it had sounded as though he liked the idea of having kids one day, or perhaps he had just said that to make her feel better about the situation she had almost found herself in. She was scared that she had misjudged everything completely.

She bowed her head, she had managed to ruin a child's life before it even had the chance to begin. Why was nothing ever simple? She loved Jack and she wanted nothing more than to be with Jack yet she had managed to ruin that completely. She knew that she should've listened to the voice telling her that it would be a bad idea to give into her feelings.

Her mind returning to how she had felt in Mexico, when she had left him then. It was because she didn't want to break his heart, she didn't want to destroy him. And now here she was proving herself right.

She stepped forward, placing her hand on his arm; causing him to jump, "Say something Jack," she had barely got out.

When he turned his head to face her, it had felt as though all the air had left her lungs. She couldn't judge the expression on his face at all. There was a sense of dread filling her body now and she felt numb, "Jack, please," she begged, almost crying now.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He eventually let out, his voice croaking for the lump in his throat.

Nikki's eyes searched his, "I tried," she started. "When you came back from the scene earlier I wanted to tell you then but everything started with your mother and I didn't want to put this on you as well. You've been through so much today and I didn't want to overwhelm you."

"That's why you were ill this morning," he nodded his head slowly. "How long have you suspected it?"

Her eyebrows furrowed, "I don't know. It's been at the back of my mind for the past few days and I kept putting it off until this morning I- I was trying to find my diary to check the dates. To be sure that I hadn't got it wrong," she paused.

"How sure are you?" He pushed. "That you are…" He gestured his head in the direction of her stomach.

"I'm quite sure," she decided against telling him about the conversation she'd had with his mother, the conversation where she'd unintentionally told her first; but in fairness, she hadn't actually known that she was his mother at that point so she couldn't totally blame herself. She waited for a moment, still trying to gauge his reaction. "How do you feel about that?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "Honestly? I don't know," he looked at her, his face sincere. "I knew it was going to happen one day. I guess I didn't think it would be so soon," he noticed her face drop and he moved quickly, his hands on her shoulders. "Before you jump to conclusions, I'll be over the moon if it comes back positive. It's just a bit of a shock, that's all. I know you haven't done the test yet but whatever the outcome is I'm going to be by your side the whole time."

"You mean that?" Nikki swallowed, quite taken back by his sudden shift in mood. "You're not just saying that because you think that's what I want to hear? Because if this isn't what you want, or if you think this is too soon then I need to know. This is a baby Jack, a child. You know as well as I do how the littlest mistake can ruin their entire lives. Children know when they're not wanted and I don't want to put a child through that, I know how that feels. I know how that can damage a person-"

She was cut off by his lips on hers. She leaned into him, feeling herself relax; that was all the answer she needed. She could kick herself for ever doubting him but he had been a hard book to read sometimes. She had been sure that she knew him, that she knew all his thoughts but there would be fleeting moments where he'd surprise her and say something unexpected.

Jack's lips parted from hers, his forehead against Nikki's, "Like I said, he'd be mad to say no," they both chuckled as they recalled that conversation; all whilst digging through rubbish bins on a hot summer's day in the middle of Brighton. "And if anything, this little surprise coming along so soon is proof that we're meant to be," he rolled his eyes at himself.

Nikki's head snapped up at his words, her heart racing now. Jack's face screwed up, not expecting that reaction from her, "What is it?"

She shook her head, "Nothing," she cast her eyes away from him now as she thought about how his own mother had said almost the exact same thing to her that morning. "Just, something someone said to me earlier that's all."

Jack eyed her, not quite sure of what was going on. His hands resting on her waist now, "I say we put our minds to rest, don't you?" He winked, a grin spreading across his face. When he had opened the draw and found the box sitting in the middle of it, it was as though his life had flashed before his very eyes. He didn't know what to think, what to say. He was half tempted to put it back and pretend that he never found but he had heard her coming down the stairs.

He couldn't stop his mind from wandering to the conversation he'd had with his mother earlier, she had said then that he would make a good father but now there was actually a chance he could be, his head had gone in the opposite direction. He was thinking the worst. He could barely look after himself let alone a child. He took his anger out on punch bags instead of dealing with things properly; that was until very recently at least.

He'd enter cages to get the guilt kicked out of him, he was hardly father material. He had thought that that was possibly why Nikki had been so quiet about it, it wasn't exactly like her to keep something like this from him. And she was obviously suspecting it enough that she had gone out to buy a test specially.

And then he wondered if either of them were ready for this. He had been in love with Nikki for the past nine years but they'd only been together for a month. And despite the fact that Nikki had made it adamant that she was happy with him and didn't want to spend her time with anyone else, he couldn't be totally sure of that. He had watched her dip in and out of relationships so many times over the years.

Even to the point that he had told her to her face that she was scared of commitment. She had equally thrown an insult back at him so perhaps they were as bad as each other. But that thought scared him even more, they were both just as volatile and scared of relationships, having a baby mixed up in the middle of it all wasn't exactly ideal.

But then he had started thinking about what they would look like, whether it would be a boy or a girl. If they'd have dark hair like him or blonde hair like Nikki; would they have green eyes or brown eyes? That's when he realised that all his thoughts and his worries didn't matter. If Nikki _was_ pregnant then that would be the most amazing thing in the world and regardless of whether or not something happened between them, he was certain that they would both give the child the love and care it deserved.

He smiled as Nikki picked up the box and disappeared down the hallway whilst he set about tidying the kitchen up and making the two of them some hot drinks; he had changed his mind about the wine, if it came back positive it wouldn't exactly be fair if he drank whilst she couldn't.

He knew that he was just fussing around now but she seemed to be taking her time and he was growing impatient; even more so when he knew they were going to have to wait even longer to get the actual result. The click of the kettle pulled him from his thoughts as he poured the boiling water into the mugs on the counter.

Jack jumped out of his skin as he felt a hand pressing into his back but he lifted his arm up so Nikki could tuck herself under, managing to steal a kiss from him in the process.

"How long have we got to wait?" He asked eagerly.

Nikki shrugged her shoulders, "A couple of minutes." She had never been so nervous in her life, she was starting to worry that she was going to give herself a heart attack if her heart continued to beat so rapidly.

Jack took hold of her hand, noticing that she was shaking now, "You're shaking darlin'," he spoke softly as he engulfed her in his arms and held her tightly; Nikki's face squishing into his chest. She breathed in, the smell of his aftershave bringing her a sense of comfort.

His term of endearment hadn't gone unnoticed either and she had felt the butterflies in her stomach as the word seemed to roll naturally off his tongue. She never had Jack down as being the type of person to give nicknames but in a strange way it suited him.

"How did it go with your mother earlier?" She had been meaning to ask him but everything else had seemed to get in the way and it was as if he was trying to avoid the conversation anyway. He didn't seem all that happy earlier, which didn't surprise her. But he wasn't angry either. He was _calm._ And that had made her even more curious.

He looked down at her, he should've been expecting her to ask that question, it was bound to come up and he couldn't avoid it forever. But then that is what had brought him here. He had gone to his apartment thinking he needed space to work his head around the whole situation but he had ended up wanting nothing more than to be with Nikki and to tell her everything that had happened. He just hadn't quite got round to that bit yet but there had been just the tiniest of distractions in fairness.

"Surprisingly well," he answered eventually. He was stirring the spoon in the mugs aimlessly, not really focusing on much. "It was strange though."

Nikki stayed quiet, wanting to let him speak and get everything off his chest. She watched him intently though, hanging onto every word he said; her hand taking hold of his and squeezing it tightly.

"I expected myself to be angry with her. I have spent the past twenty years going over all the reasons why she would've left. If it had been something that I did," he started, turning to face her properly, his hand smoothing down her hair as she looked up at him. "But as she told me about all of it, about how she had felt. I couldn't even bring myself to say something negative. Because I understood it all. I knew how she felt. Don't get me wrong, I'm annoyed that she did choose someone else over her own sons but," he gulped, feeling more emotional now as he reflected on today's events.

"Me and Ryan weren't kids," he continued despite the tears in his eyes welling up. "I had a couple of months left of Uni and Ryan had a couple of months left of school. She tried to stay for us and I really believe that she did. But she had fallen in love and I can't blame her for that. I just suppose that I'm more angry at the fact that she could've just told me. Instead of leaving without a word. My dad hadn't given her a choice but surely, both Ryan and I were old enough to understand and we should've been given the opportunity to understand?"

"Maybe your dad thought he was doing best by protecting you from the truth," Nikki suggested calmly. "Would your twenty-one year old self have reacted so rationally as you have today?"

Jack's lips twitched as he shook his head, "No, I don't think he would've." And there she was again, knowing him more than he knew himself.

"You're older and wiser now Jack. You've experienced the world more so of course you're going to be more inclined to understand your mothers feelings," she sighed. "I still don't like the fact she made no effort to get into contact with you though. If she had really regretted leaving she would've tried to find you, not just accidentally finding you on some bizarre off chance."

"She said that she had thought it would be for the best," he shrugged. "Out of sight, out of mind and all that. But if there is one thing, at least I know that it wasn't _me_ that drove her away."

Nikki's eyebrows pulled together at that, "Why would it have been your fault?"

"I told you what happened with Katie. I didn't speak to them for months and after that I was probably ten times worse, always getting myself into some kind of trouble," he explained. "Things got better when I went to Uni but things still weren't great. For years after I thought that I had been the one to push my mother over the edge, that I had been the reason for her to leave. I think that's what I'm mostly annoyed about, the not knowing. If she had just told me what was going on, just told me the truth. I wouldn't have spent the past twenty years beating myself up for it."

The tears were falling down his cheeks now as Nikki moved to hold him; her arms around his neck.

"I just can't help but wonder, _if_ there is a baby," he took a deep breath. "How can I be any sort of a father to it when I can barely look after myself? My whole life has been a mess and I have spent most of it hating myself. I'm not exactly the best role model."

Nikki pulled back from him, her hands cupping his cheeks, "You listen to me Jack Hodgson. _That_ is what is going to make you a brilliant father," she spoke firmly. "I've had those thoughts. I didn't have the best upbringing either. But together, we know what not to do. And we are going to love this child," she took of his hand to place it against her stomach, her skin tingling. "I'm scared as well Jack but I'm going to be damned to not let what my father did to me, happen to this child. I will not put them through that. And I know that you wouldn't either."

Jack's face slowly spread into a smile at her words. She was right and it only made him more determined. And it made him realise how ready he was to be a father. Even more so when he knew that he was going to have Nikki by his side the entire time.

The pair jumped as the alarm for Nikki's phone sounded off, telling them that it was time. After that conversation both of them were thinking the same thing, both wanting the same result. Although if the result were negative there was one thing they both knew, they were ready to have children despite the short space time they had been together.

"You ready?" Nikki bit down on her lip in anticipation as she turned the alarm on her phone off.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Jack didn't let go of her hand as she moved to pick up the white stick that had been sat on the counter. He could feel her shaking underneath him and he was squeezing her hand to reassure her as best he could. "Nikki whatever the result is, it doesn't matter. If it turns out to be negative then I think we should actually try."

Nikki snapped her head to him, "You're serious?"

"I've never felt more serious about anything in my life," he grinned, leaning down to plant his lips on hers briefly. "So go on, check it. I'm losing my mind here."

She took a deep breath, psyching herself up as she turned it over. She felt her heart drop to the floor as she saw the word 'pregnant' on the small screen in front of her. Her hand shot to her mouth, the happiness filling every part of her; the tears dribbling down her cheeks.

Jack stood there, watching her, waiting for her to say something. He couldn't really tell what her reaction had meant, it could've been taken as happy or disappointment.

Losing his patience, "What does it say?" He felt breathless as she slowly turned to face him, her head giving him the smallest of nods. His lips parted, she was handing the stick over to him so he could read it for himself but he didn't need to read it, his arms were wrapping around her waist as he lifted her up from the ground with ease.

He couldn't describe the feelings that were bubbling up inside him, he had never felt quite so overjoyed. He was now lifting her up on to the counter, his lips pressed into hers. He had started the day off seeing his mother for the first time in twenty years and he was now ending the day with the news that he was going to be a father and he could hardly believe it.

Nikki's arms were around his neck, the kiss deepening. An excitement churning up inside her. She had had the past couple of days to prepare for this feeling but now that it was here and now she knew for definite, she couldn't explain the feeling. They were going to be parents.

* * *

It was the next morning, both Jack and Nikki were still buzzing from their news and could hardly contain their excitement; but they both knew that they were going to have to keep it to themselves for some time yet, at least until they were in the clear to tell everyone.

That hadn't stopped Jack from being overprotective of her however. It hadn't been twenty four hours yet he was offering to make her breakfast and telling her that she should be taking it easy; even to the point of demanding that he drive from now on. Nikki had scalded him for that, reminding him that he needn't be so dramatic about it all.

And she was beginning to grow annoyed at the fact that he had yet to peel his eyes away from her, every time she got up from her desk to grab a book, he was watching her every move. She had caught his eye when she sat down.

"Will you stop it," she shook her head at him but there was a twinkle in her eye and a smirk spreading across her face.

"I can't help it sorry," he replied, keeping his voice low so as not to raise attention to their conversation. "It hasn't sunk in yet."

She let out a sigh, "Have you spoken to your dad yet?" She changed the subject, not wanting someone to walk in and start asking questions because they were bound to, they did work with people who solved crimes for a living after all.

Jack nodded slowly, the expression on his face not a happy one, "Him and ma' are meeting up as we speak so if we get a phone call later telling us that a body has been found don't be surprised," he laughed.

"I think they'll be fine, your dad's quite laid back and time is always a great healer," she pointed out, looking over at him.

He was chuckling now, "You've not seen my mother and father in the same room together. He might be as cool as a cucumber these days but I'm sure my mother still knows what buttons to press when it comes to my da'."

Jack was suddenly distracted by Evan walking into the room, "I heard you went to take samples from the suspect on your own," he spoke, his eyes following the boy as he sat on his desk.

There was a worried look on his face now, as if he was in trouble, "Uh- Sam said it was fine and you weren't around so-" he stumbled over his words. The last thing he wanted was for Jack to have a go at him, he was his mentor after all. And as a mentor he really should've been there.

"There's no need to worry son," Jack grinned, holding his hands up in defence. "I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you that's all. Bet you never would've thought that you'd end up going to call outs - of sorts - on your own when you first started, now would you?"

Evan shook his head, "Absolutely not," he was smiling now as his eyes flicked between Jack and Nikki. He had grown quite fond of the pair over the past couple of months and he really was going to miss them when he left at the end of the week. But he was grateful for everything that he had learned from them, they had both offered him such a great insight into this world - and showed him things that he would remember for a long time.

He had been through so much, he had lost his best friend; the person he had loved most in the world. But thanks to the Lyell Centre and thanks to Sam, Jack and Nikki, he was able to look back on it positively. They had helped him through what could've been the hardest time in his life but they had supported him endlessly and he would be eternally thankful for them; definitely friends that he would now have for life.

"Speaking of which, how are the samples coming along?" Jack questioned.

"I've just sent them off and we should be getting them back in a couple of hours," Evan relayed as he leaned back in his chair.

Jack was distracted by a message coming through on his phone, turning, he reached into his pocket. It was from his father, letting him know that everything with his mother had been sorted and they had managed to avoid murdering one another - just about.

The smile spread across his face, that was one less thing he had to worry about. The other thing he was quickly reminded of when his eyes glanced over his desk to find Nikki gazing at him. He felt the flutters in his stomach, none of this felt real. It almost felt like a dream and he was waiting for someone to pinch him.

He wanted to tell his dad about the baby, perhaps then it would sink in that this was actually his life. He was actually going to get a little family of his own, with the woman of his dreams. But he hadn't known how Nikki felt about it. They'd only known about it themselves for less than a day but he just thought that his father had a right to know; he had been their biggest cheerleader after all.

Nikki watched him carefully, she could see the cogs turning in his head, "What are you thinking about Mr Hodgson?"

Jack quickly checked over his shoulder but Evan had seemed to have disappeared; he hadn't even noticed. But then he was back looking at Nikki, "How would you feel if we told my da' about…" he trailed off, not wanting to give everything away on the off chance that someone could overhear.

Nikki shrugged, she didn't know what to think. The thought of telling everyone else hadn't crossed her mind one bit; she didn't exactly have anyone she could confide in, apart from Sam and Evan. But even telling them seemed out of the question for the minute, this was her and Jack's business, it almost felt wrong to involve them in it so soon. But Jack's dad was different, for one he was Jack's dad. And she had grown so close to him over the past year, after everything that had happened and they had almost struck up this father and daughter bond; he had a right to know, if anything.

She had spent so long without parents she had forgotten what it was like to have them around, and to have them know everything about you. And she supposed that they would have to tell his dad before his mother accidentally slipped up and then Nikki really would have some explaining to do.

"We can if you want to," she spoke finally.

"How about this afternoon?" He dared to ask.

Nikki nodded her head, "Sure," she offered him a gentle smile of reassurance.

"Ah Jack, you're here, can I have a word please?" Sam asked as she walked into the offices; interrupting them. But as quickly as she had entered she had left, expecting Jack to follow directly behind her.

He shared a look with Nikki but it was fairly obvious what the woman had wanted to talk about and, if anything, he had been anticipating it. It had been revealed that her best friend, of however many years, had actually been her colleagues mother - there was bound to be lots of questions she had wanted to ask him. And if he was being honest, there were plenty of questions he had for her, she probably knew his mother the most.

Jack stood and wandered into Sam's office. He was feeling fairly calm about the whole ordeal; he had all night to come to terms with it and he did have something else to take his mind off other things.

Sam eyed him as he entered her office, she didn't even know where to start. It had been just as much as a shock to her - although nowhere near as damaging, Marie had just been a friend to her, not her mother that had walked out. She had managed to get hold of her last night, had even invited her around for a glass of wine.

She had wanted to see if her friend was okay more than anything. But she had wanted to get an understanding, how she didn't know anything about her sons whereabouts. And quite frankly, she had wanted to talk to someone about the whole bizarre situation. It had been a coincidence to end all coincidences that her best friend's son had ended up working in the same place that Sam had not only been in charge of in it's first couple of years but was now working there once again.

Sam waited for Jack to make himself more comfortable before she opened her mouth to speak, "I think the first thing, the most important thing, how are you?" Her voice was soft, comforting.

Jack shrugged, "As good as I can be, I suppose," he let out a sigh. "It's quite strange. I haven't seen her in over twenty years and the last thing I was expecting was for her to turn up at my place of work, let alone find out that she's been your best friend for years."

"Yes, that was quite a shock to me as well," Sam nodded, almost wanting to chuckle at the absurdity of it all. Her hands were now clasped together. "I spoke with her last night, she told me her side of things. But I wanted to get yours, I suppose. I'm still your boss and I need to know if you want any time off, to deal with it all. To get your head around it."

He shook his head, "That won't be necessary," he responded. "If you had spoken to me before I had that conversation with her I might've said yes. But since then, since hearing what she had to say. I'm okay. I really am," he emphasised, noticing the unconvinced look on Sam's face.

"I expected myself to be angry with her but I've spent the past twenty years doing that and I'm tired," he breathed. "And when she gave me her reasons, I understood them and I couldn't judge her for that. I suppose I can't be angry about something that happened so long ago, there's nothing I can do about it now so why waste the energy?"

A smirk spread across Sam's face, Nikki and Jack hadn't been together all that long but she could see the effect the woman was having on him already; or perhaps that had been the therapy sessions he had been attending. Sam didn't quite know but what she did know, the Jack she had first met a year ago would not be saying this right now.

"What?" Jack's face screwed up, confused as to why Sam was now suddenly smiling at him.

"Nikki's worked her number on you, hasn't she?" She chuckled. "How long's it been? A month? And you're already a changed man."

Jack rolled his eyes, even though what she was saying had an element of truth. Nikki had had an effect on his mentality and behaviour, she had been doing that since the moment he had met her, but perhaps being with her constantly had made that even more noticeable - not necessarily to him but more so to an outsider such as Sam.

He laughed as he wondered what Sam would've made of him had she had met him when he first started, then she really would have something to say about how much he had changed. His stomach fluttered at how that could've been as a result of his friendship with Nikki; of course there were other elements that played a role. He had been through a lot after all, but the only constant was her. And she was never one to keep her opinions to herself; especially when it came to how he reacted to situations.

The memory of the two of them playing pool together in the pub flashed in his mind. He had only just been employed at the Lyell that day and she was already scorning him for enjoying boxing as a sport. Telling him that it was wrong and how much damage it could do to a person. (But how can you break something that is already broken in the first place?) It was the way she had been so confident and so sure of herself that had attracted him to her in the first place - he suddenly recalled how he had said 'now that is sexy,' _he meant every word._

Sam clearing her throat had brought him from his daydream as he remembered what Sam had said to him, "You could say that," was all he came up with.

Knowing that she wasn't going to get much more of a conversation out of him - he had never been one for long conversations; the only exception to that rule being Nikki - she closed off with, "I mean it though, if you ever need time off. Or if you feel as though it's all getting too much for you then let me know. This isn't something that you'll get over in a day, and you should know more than many how up and down your emotions can be when it comes to these sorts of things."

Jack nodded, grateful to have the woman's support, "Thank you Sam. It really means a lot," his lips twitched fondly as he stood up. He reached the door, his fingers brushing against the handle before he was turning back to look at the older woman. "I don't blame you by the way. You weren't to know. And I've forgiven her. I don't think we'll ever be as close as a mother and son should be but it's a start. And she's got twenty years to catch up on and I don't think it would be very fair of me to push her out now that I have found her. I'm not her, I'm not just going to walk away."

Sam smiled, "There's no rule book to this," she offered. "Don't do anything that you're not comfortable with. I know she's my friend but this has to be on your terms, she was the one who left. If you don't want anything more to do with her then that's up to you and I'm sure she can understand that. What I think you are doing is brave and you should be proud of yourself. I'm not sure I'd be able to do it. But I know that Marie is grateful for you giving her the time."

Jack nodded his head, not saying anything else as he left the room. He didn't need to add anything. But it was something to hear that he had the support of Sam despite her impartiality in the whole situation. She was able to do something that he often struggled with; being objective. He had always thought that, being a forensic scientist, that would come second nature to him but alas not.

That was something he had in common with Nikki, they had never been able to _just take a step back._ So he had to commend Sam on that. Although, from what he heard - from Nikki - she had not always been quite so impartial. So maybe it was something you learned the older you got. Jack wasn't sure at all.

* * *

That afternoon rolled around fairly quickly and Jack and Nikki were getting out of their car, arriving at the same cafe Jack had spent hours talking to his mother in, the previous day. Jack had taken hold of Nikki's hand, squeezing it after noticing that she was now looking rather worried.

What he hadn't quite anticipated as they walked in was seeing his mother there. He couldn't help but feel annoyed at that, of course he wanted to involve her in his life more now that she was around but it had to be one step at a time. He turned to Nikki before his parents had a chance to spot them approaching.

"We don't have to tell him today," he breathed.

Nikki's brows furrowed, her head flicking between Jack and the other two people in the room. Then she realised why Jack was suddenly backing out and she knew that she was going to have to tell him. She let out a breath, "She already knows."

Jack took a step back, not expecting that at all, "What?" Fell from his mouth.

Nikki was running her hands through her hair, "Yesterday, before you came back I spoke to her. I didn't know she was your mother," she was trying to speak quickly so as to get her explanation out before he started kicking off. "She seen that I wasn't right and it was just a conversation. Trust me, if I had known for definite that she was your mother I never would've said anything."

"Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?" He was growing agitated now and he could see in the corner of his eye that his dad had noticed them and he was slowly making his way over to them.

"I didn't have a chance, we were both so caught up in the moment, I didn't want to ruin it by bringing up the fact I'd accidentally told your mother that I could've been pregnant with your child," she got out, breathless now.

Jack closed his eyes, trying to remain calm as his father joined them.

"Everything alright?" Conor asked, his eyes bouncing from Jack to Nikki, wondering what had just happened between the two of them in the space of a minute; they had seemed happy until they had seen Marie sitting with him. He looked over his shoulder at his ex-wife. "Look I tried to keep her away but she insisted on coming. Said something that made it sound as though there might be something you want to tell us."

Conor watched for Jack and Nikki's reaction but the pair remained stoic, giving nothing away - the hopeful look on his face dropping now.

"Right, well. How about we go sit down first and then talk?" Conor breathed, guiding both of them to where he had been sitting as he rolled his eyes at them.

Nikki swallowed, suddenly feeling very awkward; Jack's hard glare making it even worse. Marie, picking up on this tension, spoke, "How about you two get us some coffees?" She had directed at Jack and Conor who shot up instantly, neither wanting to sit in the silence.

Marie waited until they were out of earshot before grabbing hold of Nikki's hand, "Now if this is about what I think this is about, I just wanted to say that I couldn't think of anyone better for my Jack to start his family with," she grinned. "I barely know you but I know you enough that I am sure you will make him happy."

Nikki's lips twitched, the tears filling her eyes. She wasn't used to this, having someone comforting her the way a mother would. Soft spoken words, a gentle touch. It had been something that she had been missing for most of her life and the emotions were overwhelming her; although she could also put that down to the fact that her hormones were all over the place at the minute. She brought her hand to her stomach, there was no hiding or shying away from it now. The woman already knew and Nikki could hardly contain her excitement anymore. She was going to be a mother herself and although she was only a couple of weeks, she could feel herself glowing already.

"Oh you are, aren't you?" Marie beamed, pulling the younger woman into a tight hug. "Congratulations," she exclaimed before dropping her arms and looking directly into Nikki's eyes, her face serious. "You must promise me that you will not do what I did. Learn from my mistakes. I have never regretted anything more in my life than leaving my two boys behind."

Nikki stayed silent, nodding her head. She didn't want to add anything, there was nothing she needed to. She knew what the woman was telling her but that also didn't need saying. There was no way she would ever walk out on her own child, not in a million years. She wanted to like the woman that was sat opposite her, Jack had forgiven her after all. But there was something that she couldn't get on with and she wasn't the biggest fan of how she had suddenly inserted herself back into Jack's life as though nothing had happened.

She had known Jack for nine years and she had first hand witnessed the grief and guilt he had placed on top of himself. She had been able to narrow it down; his affair with Chrissie, what he had put his brother through. But the biggest guilt he carried with him was something she had never been able to put a name to, until yesterday of course. She had watched that eat him alive in the time that she had known him; and although this woman was his mother, she had never watched that. She had never experienced that.

She had never held her own son whilst he cried. She had never seen her son in that hospital bed fighting for his life, not knowing that the person he looked up to and admired the most in the world had been sacrificing his own life to save his. She had not watched her son getting the life beaten out of him because he had decided to blame himself for every bad thing in his life.

Nikki was willing to get along with the woman; she seemed kind despite her faults. But those thoughts were always going to be at the back of her head. Nikki had been there with Jack through thick and thin over the years, she had watched him go through many harrowing moments of his life; she had known Jack more than his own mother did. And that would be something that she would never forget and she was sure that Jack wouldn't either. Even if he was willing to forgive her, he would know that he would never have a close relationship with his mother, not after everything.

She was pulled from her thoughts as Conor and Jack approached and she had known instantly that Jack told Conor from the way he had been smiling from ear to ear. After placing the fresh coffees down on the table, Conor was engulfing Nikki in his arms, holding on to her tightly before letting her go and sitting in his own chair.

He was patting Jack on the back, "Well, I think my son should start thinking about getting down on one knee, don't you?" He was winking at Jack now.

Jack shook his head, rolling his eyes, "One step at a time, 'ey da'?"

Nikki couldn't help but chuckle at his dad's suggestion; more so the look on Jack's face.

The four them of talked for the best part of an hour before Jack had a text message from Evan coming through on his phone; the results had come back and both Jack and Nikki were now needed back at the Lyell. The two made their apologies and left.

As they pulled up outside the Centre, Jack looked over at Nikki; the annoyance he had felt earlier had quickly dissipated, he never could stay angry with her for very long anyway. He reached over the threshold, taking hold of her hand, "I'm sorry about earlier."

Nikki glanced over at him, shaking her head, "Why are you saying sorry? I'm the one that told your mother," her face sorrowful.

"But you didn't know so I can't blame you for that," Jack replied.

She leaned over, pressing her lips into his briefly. She didn't want to say anymore; she didn't need to.

They both then left the car and made their way inside where they were greeted by Sam and Evan who were both sat at his desk.

"What's so urgent then?" Jack asked as he perched himself on the edge of his own desk and looked over at the two people.

"I sent the samples off, as you know," Evan started. "The DNA of Andrew Peters matches that of the DNA we found on the glass, as we expected. DI Saunders and DS Freeman are making their way down as we speak and they've asked that we do a forensic sweep of his house when they take him in for questioning."

"You know as well as I do that there could be many explanations as to how his DNA got on the glass, he's her son. His DNA is going to be all over the place," Sam interrupted, standing up now and moving into the middle of the room; her arms folded. "So they want us to find as much evidence as possible that would place him at the centre and actually prove that he was instrumental in his mothers death."

"And if he is?" Nikki pushed. "Who's to say that what he did was a bad thing? She was suffering, in horrific pain. All he did was help her to not suffer anymore, is that really such a bad thing?"

"Nikki," Sam shot her a warning look. Her tone scarily reminding Nikki of how Leo had the same way of saying her name whenever he was annoyed at her. "It's not our place to decide whether it was a bad thing or a good thing, we don't have to make that judgement. We simply provide the evidence we find and leave it at that. Our job is to be impartial and scientific."

Nikki shrugged, she knew the older woman was right and she had certainly been one to shout about _simply presenting the evidence and not interpreting it._ But she couldn't help it sometimes and supposed that it was only human of her to ask such questions. Her job may to be objective but often is the case, you can't always take a step back. This wasn't her case so it was even less her business but she felt the need to ask questions anyway; give them food for thought.

The detectives had soon turned up and Jack and Evan were now following behind them in the car as they made their way to Andrew Peters house. It was ordinary looking, as they had suspected. And when DI Saunders and DS Freeman knocked on the door, his face told them that he wasn't all that surprised by their arrival. Jack and Evan watched as they took him away in their car before the two of them set about collecting the evidence.

They hadn't been there long and they hadn't found anything that would be of worth. Which hadn't shocked neither Jack nor Evan. Nikki had a point earlier, from what they had found in the post mortem, it was very obvious that this woman had been suffering so even if her son had helped her in the process it, was it such a terrible thing to end her suffering?

But they had to put their feelings aside, they had to be objective. Even if they thought that the son helping had been something brave, it was still a crime. And it was still illegal to assist in someone's death, whether they liked it or not. So they continued throughout the house, trying to find anything that would give them any answers.

It had been well over an hour and still nothing had been found of any note, that was until Jack had been searching under the bed and found a laptop. His eyebrows had pulled together in confusion, it was quite an odd place to store a laptop. Unless of course it wasn't working but as Jack opened it up he could see that it was perfectly fine. Nothing appeared to be broken so why had it been under the bed? But the investigator in his brain was telling him that someone would only hide something if they were trying to conceal evidence that could frame them.

Placing it into an evidence bag, he joined Evan downstairs once again. "Find anything?" He asked the boy, to which Evan had responded with a shake of his head. "I think that's going to be it then don't you?"

Evan shrugged his shoulders, "No point wasting any more time," his eyes glanced down to the bag Jack had been holding. "Think that's going to be useful?"

Jack lifted it up, "Might be. Guess we won't find out until we take it back to the Lyell."

* * *

"Explain to us, how and why your fingerprints had been found on a glass in your mother's home?" DI Saunders pushed, growing quite annoyed at the fact that the man wasn't giving them the answers they had so desperately wanted.

"I told you, I don't know," Andrew persisted, glancing over at his lawyer.

"How did that glass end up by the kitchen sink?" DS Freeman now piped up, his hands clasped together as his elbows leaned on the table between them. "We know that it would've been impossible for your mother to have taken the drink downstairs and make it back upstairs in time before she passed. That's not even taking into account her condition. As her doctor had put it," he was now pulling up the notes they had recorded. "She could barely walk for the excruciating pain she had been in."

"So, we'll ask you again, how did that glass end up at the kitchen sink with your fingerprints all over it?" DI Saunders' voice was firm and it was clear that she wasn't wavering.

Andrew let out a sigh, knowing that he couldn't continue with this charade, "Fine, I put it there. I found my mother in the morning and I panicked. I moved the glass. I don't know why I did it, I just did."

"You're going to have to do better than that," DI Saunders scoffed as she opened her file and retrieved photos showing a pestle and mortar. "We were able to narrow down that the drugs used to kill your mother had been crushed before being mixed into the water. We happened to find traces of that morphine in this," she was pushing the photo across the table for Andrew to see. "Now, these had been cleaned. Can you explain that?"

Andrew shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know," he gulped. "Maybe she took the time to clean up beforehand? I wasn't there, I wouldn't know."

DI Saunders opened her mouth to ask another question when there was a knock at the door. She took a deep breath, trying to not let the annoyance of the interruption be known, it wouldn't be good for her to lose her temper right now. She leaned over to pause the tape before she made her excuses to see what was so important that they had to intrude her interview.

"What is it?" She questioned, her arms folded and the look on her face stern.

"Jack Hodgson, the forensic guy," the young police officer stumbled over his words, feeling quite threatened by the older woman's glare. But he continued anyway, knowing that it was important and he could see that DI Saunders was growing more impatient the more he took his time. "He has found a laptop with, uh, various searches in his deleted search history. The important ones are highlighted," the boy handed a piece of paper over to the woman. "Oh he also told me to tell you that he had found this laptop under the bed."

She accepted it with a nod of her head and not a single word passing her lips. Her eyes scanning over the words and digesting the information. This case was starting to take shape and Andrew was looking more and more guilty.

With a smirk on her face, she entered the interview room again. The door clicked shut behind her as she made her way into the room and sat down at her desk. She gave DS Freeman a small nod and he was pushing the play button down on the tape.

DI Saunders passed the piece of paper over the table, "Care to explain this?" She raised an eyebrow at the suspect, feeling rather smug about the situation now that she was certain she had the upper ground.

Andrew lifted the piece of paper, his heart racing as he saw all the searches he had made over the past couple of weeks; he had tried so desperately to delete them all and he was sure that he had. But evidently not. He had nothing to say, nothing that would get him out of this situation. He had well and truly dug himself a hole.

"We're going to need an answer Andrew," DI Saunders insisted, the smile growing as Andrew remained silent.

He ran his hands through his hair, not even bothering to look in the direction of his lawyer now. There would be no use, the detectives had made their minds up and they were going to prove that it was his fault no matter what he said.

He leaned back in his chair, "What do you want me to say?" He breathed.

"If you had nothing to do with your mothers death then how come there are searches that you made on your own personal laptop, showing that you had done thorough research into the very thing that you would commit within a matter of weeks," DI Saunders began, her elbows leaning on the table now. "Searches that you tried to delete and also a laptop that you tried to hide."

He watched the detective closely as she spun the story, coercing him into giving an answer that would prove he had caused his mothers death, "So you have my laptop?"

"I'm asking the questions Mr Peters not you," DI Saunders shot back, her tone serious.

"If you have my laptop then there should be a video file on there that will prove my innocence," he explained, feeling somewhat calmer. "If you can fix it that is."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand?" DI Saunders furrowed her brows.

"The reason why I had to hide my laptop and delete the search history was because I knew this would happen," he ran his hands up and down his face. "We made a video, it will show my mother taking the drink herself. It will prove that she did it all by herself. I wasn't even there. She asked me to be there but I couldn't face it. I agreed to help set up the video and I left. When I got there in the morning I tried the video but it had corrupted. I panicked and I knew that I would look guilty so I did what I thought was best."

"But in doing so you've lied to the police and made yourself look even more guilty," DS Freeman piped up. "And what if we can't recover this video, what then?"

Andrew shrugged, the tears slipping down his cheeks, "I don't know."

"Right," DI Saunders leaned back in her chair and turned to DS Freeman. "We need to talk to Jack, find out more about this video. I will suspend the interview until then." She leaned over, pressing the button down once again before standing up and walking out of the room; DS Freeman hot on her tail.

DI Saunders was already pulling her phone out of her pocket and dialling Jack's number. The dial tone rang briefly before she heard the Irish accent on the other end of the line, "Jack, have you found anything else on the laptop? Anything interesting?"

_"Nothing of note yet, why?"_

"He's talking about a video that was made of his mother, explaining her death. A video that will put him in the clear," she explained. "But apparently, it was corrupted. Will you be able to recover it?"

_"I can try."_

"Good, we'll be there in about half an hour," she didn't give Jack a chance to reply as she hung up the phone and placed it back in her pocket.

* * *

"Who was that? Nikki asked, her face full of confusion as Jack stared back at his phone; his eyes wide in shock.

"Uh, Saunders," he answered. "She wants me to recover a video that might be on Andrew's laptop. A video of his mother just before her death."

"Well that shouldn't be much of a problem should it?" Nikki pondered as she leaned back in her chair and gazed over at Jack.

"No but," he started. "She wants me to get it recovered in the space of half an hour."

A smirk spread across Nikki's face, "Well you've always liked a challenge Jack so it shouldn't be too much of a problem now should it?"

Jack raised an eyebrow at her, he knew what she was doing and he didn't need the encouragement if he was being totally honest. He was perfectly capable of getting it working in less than ten minutes; depending on how bad the video had corrupted that is. But if it was any worse than expected he may have to give a certain forensic examiner a call - and Jack would be damned to give her any hints that he was missing her.

He made his way into the lab, retrieving the laptop from the evidence bag once again. Jack got on with the job in silence, Nikki bringing him a cup of tea in the middle of it; which he had accepted gratefully. But it hadn't been that hard and he had found the video fairly quickly. Further finding out that it had just been the beginning that had ended up being corrupted, the rest of the video - or at least what was important - had been just fine.

And it was just in time as the detectives were banging on the glass doors of the entrance. Nikki moved to let them in and guided them into the observation room where Jack was setting up the laptop ready to show everyone.

Evan and Sam had soon joined them; all settling down in the chairs as Jack started the video on the screen. They all watched as the frail old woman spoke through the screen, explaining every little detail of what she was going to do and that she was fully aware of the consequences. DI Saunders leaned forward, trying to listen out for any movement in the background; to see if anyone else was present throughout this. But there was nothing, not a single breath, not a single sound.

"Can we place Andrew in the room?" She spoke, interrupting the silence that had settled around them all.

"I have gone through as much footage as possible," Jack stood at the front as he glanced over at everyone. "It cuts out after a while, I'm assuming that the battery had run out because there are a few hours of footage."

"And he doesn't appear once?" DS Freeman queried.

Jack shook his head, pausing the video now; they had seen all that they had needed to see. "What does that mean?"

DI Saunders sighed, relaxing her shoulders, "It means that he's telling the truth," her hand rested on the table in front of her, feeling rather defeated now. "But his DNA was on the glass, surely that means he helped her to die?"

"Not necessarily," Nikki pointed out. "There could be a number of explanations as to how his fingerprints ended up on the glass, he's her son. His DNA is going to be all over the place. They could've been from before, it's all just supposition and you can hardly build a case upon it. Especially not with that video," she was gesturing to the screen now. "If she insisted that she did everything herself, then she did everything herself."

"I have to agree with Nikki on that one," Sam cleared her throat. "There's not much of a case now. And before you ask, I'm not going to waste any more resources on it. We've found our answer so let's leave it." She could see that look in DI Saunders eye. She had seen it on so many detectives faces over the years, it was blood thirsty. She wanted the son for this and she wasn't going to give up on that.

But with these sorts of cases you had to know when to take a step back. This was emotional as it was, you didn't need to make it more harrowing. A son had lost his mother, that was traumatic enough; lest being convicted of murder - or manslaughter.

"Well, he still lied to us and he won't be getting away with that," DI Saunders stood up, not losing her determination in the slightest.

Jack, Sam, Evan and Nikki all shared a look between them as the two detectives left the room.

* * *

The week had soon come to an end and it was now Evan's last day. Not much else had come out of the assisted suicide case; Sam had stuck to her word and did no more investigating but from what she could gather they had charged Andrew Peters with perverting the course of justice - which would no doubt end up as a suspended sentence given the circumstances. But that wouldn't mean much to the team at the Lyell Centre until it went to court.

Sam had organised for the four of them to meet up at the pub after work to give Evan the send off that he so rightly deserved. He had helped them a lot over the past year and it wouldn't seem right somehow if they didn't say goodbye properly. She was waiting with Michael for the others to arrive. Evan had turned up long before Jack and Nikki who were surprisingly taking their time; she had noticed a shift in them this past week - there was something different about the couple.

She had put that down to everything that had happened in the past month.

Sam moved, engulfing Evan into a hug; she had almost felt this maternal love for him and it genuinely felt as though she was losing a son. But she couldn't be more proud of him, he had handled things so well for his young age and now all she wished was for him to pass his degree and get his name out there and be the best forensic scientist he could possibly be.

"I'm really going to miss you, you know that?" She gushed, feeling herself welling up.

She was thankful when she spotted Jack and Nikki heading towards them; their hands linked and smiles over their faces. She watched as they interacted with Evan, offering hugs and a bag with a few gifts inside - Sam taking a moment to dry her eyes.

"Oh you didn't have to get me anything," he was blushing now, not used to all the attention being on him. He accepted the bag however and inside was a card signed from the other three and along with it, an ornament in the shape of a beetle. He was chuckling now, "Thank you so much."

Sam was standing up once again, "You lot make yourself comfortable, I'll get the drinks in," she looked around the table. "What can I get you all?"

Jack and Evan had both settled on a bottle of beer but Nikki was panicking as Sam stared at her, "I'll just have a lemonade," she watched as Sam's eyebrows pulled together. "I'm driving," she quickly recovered but she knew that wouldn't get past Sam who now had her hands on her hips.

"You could still have _one_ ," she pushed but it was all the confirmation she needed. She had suspected it the other day and with how Jack had been acting around Nikki and now her refusal at alcohol there was only one possible reason. "Are you going to tell us?"

Nikki's mouth hung open as she shot a look to Jack before flicking her eyes back to Sam. She didn't know what to say, she wasn't surprised that Sam had put two and two together; she was a clever woman and it didn't take a genius to work out. But she wasn't expecting her to come out with it.

Evan's head was bouncing around each person sat at their table, his face full of confusion. He hadn't been taking much notice of the conversation; his mind elsewhere. But the silence and Sam's stance had grabbed his attention.

The quiet settling amongst them was beginning to grow quite deafening and they were going to have to provide an answer sooner or later, Jack held his hands up. "Okay, fine. Nikki's pregnant," he breathed. "But before you all start, it's early days so let's not go over the top about it."

Sam couldn't contain her excitement however as the smile spread across her face and she was leaning over the table to pull Nikki into a hug. Michael offered his hand to shake Jack's hand, "Congratulations mate," he spoke sincerely.

"Congratulations," Evan repeated, giving Jack and Nikki a small nod, a grin on his face; he couldn't be happier for the pair and they definitely deserved it after the few years they had had - at least from what he had heard from them.

Their night continued for a few hours, the conversation never dropping between any of them. Although when Nikki had excused herself to go to the toilet, Sam had followed behind her; wanting to have a private word with the younger woman.

"Nikki can I ask you something?" She asked as she leaned against the sink.

"Aren't you already doing that?" Nikki quipped.

Sam chuckled at her sarcasm but continued anyway, "I had an application come in the other day. For a new pathologist. With Evan leaving I knew that we were going to need someone else to help around so I thought I would put some offers out there," she started. Nikki's curiosity peaking at the woman's words. "And it seems that with," she gestured at Nikki's stomach.

"It might not be that bad of an idea to have an extra pathologist," she breathed. "Anyway, he sounds quite promising and I've got him coming in for an interview next week."

Nikki nodded her head slowly, already guessing where this had been going, "And you want me to sit in the interview with you?"

"Please?" The look on Sam's face a hopeful one. "I value your opinion greatly and if anything I need to know if he's going to get along with you. The last thing I need is for there to be tension around the place," she laughed as Nikki rolled her eyes. "Also, you'll be able to tell if he'll get along with Jack. I know what Jack's like but you know him better than me and you'll have more of an idea."

Nikki laughed at that, "I'd love to," she beamed. She had really taken to Sam. When she had first arrived, Nikki had thought that they would clash and that there would be more arguing than getting any work done but it had turned out to be quite the opposite in fact. She was almost like a mother figure in her life now and she would be eternally grateful for that; even more so now.

She was about to be a mother herself and she was going to need all the support and guidance that she could get.

"What's his name?" She questioned, curious now.

"Dr. Adam Yuen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is, the last chapter! I can't believe I even got to this point. I just want to say thank you for coming along on this journey with me - it was quite a long one wasn't it? Thank you for sticking with it and sharing your lovely thoughts with me. I never ever thought I would get here, very nearly gave up on it a couple of months ago and now here I am...crazy.
> 
> Not much else to say but thank you again!


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